FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

A shiner to be proud of !!

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had the pleasure of having a fight with my Autistic daughter it was about 3.30 this morning.

She went into a massive rage for which i had/have no idea why. I tried to calm her with Calpol with this jumped out of bed gave me a huge shove which knocked me off my feet therefore hitting my face on the corner of her dressing table.

The reason why i am telling you this is because I am angry with myself for not being able to restrain her quick enough because i had gone out to a birthday party and had a couple drinks.

What if i had been knocked out and it has made me realise that some things are just not worth it

So i have decided that if it is my weekend with my daughter i will not be drinking at all, it might be the fact that i may just hit back one time and like i have said it's JUST not worth it all for a couple of glasses of wine !!

Sorry it's what you want to read on a Sunday or anyday, but it has made me feel better by sharing !!"

That should say "Not what you want to read" pressed wrong button before correcting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awwww bless you, big hugs X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

You know your own daughter and how she can react, you also know that alcohol affects us, is it really a good idea to drink when your daughter is in your care?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's hard work we have been there but you need to get out now an then or you will go nuts x??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never drink at home with my child anyway.. id never forgive myself if i couldnt drive her to a&e should anything happen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never drink at home with my child anyway.. id never forgive myself if i couldnt drive her to a&e should anything happen"

Call a 999 and a paramedic turns up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *utterflywingsWoman
over a year ago

Creswell Derbyshire


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is? "

I work with autism so i do......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......"
we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know your own daughter and how she can react, you also know that alcohol affects us, is it really a good idea to drink when your daughter is in your care?"

I think the lady as allready said she aint gonna now on her weekend with her daughter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you're both ok now x

I think you've made a wise decision about the drink on your weekend with her though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never drink at home with my child anyway.. id never forgive myself if i couldnt drive her to a&e should anything happen

Call a 999 and a paramedic turns up"

See your point but the nearest hospital is 40min away.. id rather just go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know your own daughter and how she can react, you also know that alcohol affects us, is it really a good idea to drink when your daughter is in your care?"

There's always one isn't there.

I feel your pain Hun, my daughter is autistic and very violent too. Big hugs xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

"

Reading about it from someone's perspective is not the same as living it. I'm sure you understand that from the many times you have posted about your mental health illness and how it affects you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You know your own daughter and how she can react, you also know that alcohol affects us, is it really a good idea to drink when your daughter is in your care?

There's always one isn't there.

I feel your pain Hun, my daughter is autistic and very violent too. Big hugs xxxx"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never drink at home with my child anyway.. id never forgive myself if i couldnt drive her to a&e should anything happen

Call a 999 and a paramedic turns up

See your point but the nearest hospital is 40min away.. id rather just go"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

Reading about it from someone's perspective is not the same as living it. I'm sure you understand that from the many times you have posted about your mental health illness and how it affects you. "
the question wasnt about living with it he asked if people knew what it is, don't read things that are not there evie

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope your eye isn't too bad and you haven't got a major headache from it.

Hugs x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

Reading about it from someone's perspective is not the same as living it. I'm sure you understand that from the many times you have posted about your mental health illness and how it affects you. the question wasnt about living with it he asked if people knew what it is, don't read things that are not there evie"

Ok diamonds

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

Reading about it from someone's perspective is not the same as living it. I'm sure you understand that from the many times you have posted about your mental health illness and how it affects you. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Oh bad luck.. gets harder as they get older too.. one of my friends has an autistic son 14 he is violent too and mum is only small he then tries to hurt himself as he is so upset for hurting her. There seems no real way out if you dont have family support For her its 24 hours as no school will take him and he will not leave the house.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

OP don't be too harsh on yourself. Parenting is not an exact science and anyone who hasn't made a mistake should be up for a Mary popping award.

To be fair your daughter could have knocked you over if you hadn't of been drinking. Life isn't a play where people act exactly as expected.

You've identified a way to minimise the risk. That's what people do. Experience a situation and then adjust things to hopefully make that situation better in the future.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is?

I work with autism so i do......we do, as ruby gives us frequent updates of what its like

Reading about it from someone's perspective is not the same as living it. I'm sure you understand that from the many times you have posted about your mental health illness and how it affects you.

"

I deffo agree

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

Don't be hard on yourself your entitled to a life as well. I look after 5 full grown men some with autism some learning disabilities. I have been at work since 7am yesterday morning so do feel for you.x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"OP don't be too harsh on yourself. Parenting is not an exact science and anyone who hasn't made a mistake should be up for a Mary popping award.

To be fair your daughter could have knocked you over if you hadn't of been drinking. Life isn't a play where people act exactly as expected.

You've identified a way to minimise the risk. That's what people do. Experience a situation and then adjust things to hopefully make that situation better in the future. "

this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entleman JackMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

Ruby.........

I am sending you a great big hug......

And a tender kiss........

And a whole lot of good wishes.

Gentleman Jack xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish...."

Its not boring ruby. Its good to get it out in the open. I know where your coming from.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish....

Its not boring ruby. Its good to get it out in the open. I know where your coming from. "

it's not boring at all Ruby. You carry on posting whatever and whenever you want if you feel it helps. Hope you're ok and none the worse for your fall x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish...."

If posting helps you to cope with your situation then post away, anyone here who is so judgemental that they would begrudge you that deserves a slap!!

Big hugs to you xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish...."

You are entitled to a life, you are entitled to have a drink (I'd be less sympathetic if u had said u came home d*unk, but u come across as a responsible parent regretting a perfectly normal if maybe unwise decision) and as said loads oftimes on here, this site is about more than just the sex on offer. so dont feel bad for reaching out for an outlet for your troubles. feel free to pm me if u want a chat x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PS I was not suggesting that anyone who has posted thus far has been judgemental, rather that anyone who considered such a post boring would be!!

x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

No its not boring

It is Sharing..

Obviously you need a sounding block and here is a good place to go. Where you can put your thoughts get advise and im afraid probably critisism because that is what people do.

Must be lonely dealing with your daughter. sending hugs xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish...."

There is absolutely nothing wring with what you posted today or any other day. Are people only allowed to post about their perfect children?

Don't let people make you feel bad for looking for support on here we have all done it in one way or another. Some more covert than others. If some have an issue with what you post they can simply not read threads started by you.

Only you know your daughter inside out and your situation so wether or not it's time to say you can't cope we cannot say but if you feel the time is right simply having a conversation with the right bodies will do no harm. You won't have to male a decision on the spot and nothing is irreversible once a decision has been made.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best wishes to you Ruby, what an enormous strain you must be under.

i can wholly echo and support Evie's comments in this thread. Typing problems out and posting on an anonymous forum can be beneficial.

None of us are perfect parents and there are many people who have a drink when they have children in their care. Obviously your daughter has needs and requires more supervision but try not to be too hard on yourself.

Continue to post when and what you like, don't let others dictate, it is certainly not boring xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

'So i have decided that if it is my weekend with my daughter i will not be drinking at all, it might be the fact that i may just hit back one time and like i have said it's JUST not worth it all for a couple of glasses of wine !!'

I can't begin to imagine the pressure of being a fulltime carer and you will need all the support that comes with that.

I agree with your point about not drinking because the thought of hitting back is a worrying one.

It may be that you need to seek some more professional help, that will not be a weakness at all as I would imagine every year your daugther grows, it will bring loads of pleasure as well as additional challenges.

Good luck seeking the support you may need.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Best wishes to you Ruby, what an enormous strain you must be under.

i can wholly echo and support Evie's comments in this thread. Typing problems out and posting on an anonymous forum can be beneficial.

None of us are perfect parents and there are many people who have a drink when they have children in their care. Obviously your daughter has needs and requires more supervision but try not to be too hard on yourself.

Continue to post when and what you like, don't let others dictate, it is certainly not boring xx"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I bet most ppl looking at this thread dont know what autism is? "

I am aware of it, but not the finer details.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine "

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx"

So what disability do you class autism?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism? "

Autism is a spectrum disability, and in some cases it comes with learning disabilities or mental health illnesses x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

Autism is a spectrum disability, and in some cases it comes with learning disabilities or mental health illnesses x"

Well said.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism? "

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects. "

As I said above, it's a spectrum disorder, and as a result of it, some people develop learning difficulties or mental health issues. No 2 people with autism are the same, and as you quite rightly said, it needs to treated on an individual basis

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects.

As I said above, it's a spectrum disorder, and as a result of it, some people develop learning difficulties or mental health issues. No 2 people with autism are the same, and as you quite rightly said, it needs to treated on an individual basis"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects.

As I said above, it's a spectrum disorder, and as a result of it, some people develop learning difficulties or mental health issues. No 2 people with autism are the same, and as you quite rightly said, it needs to treated on an individual basis "

But autism is still not a mental illness.. but that's my opinion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects.

As I said above, it's a spectrum disorder, and as a result of it, some people develop learning difficulties or mental health issues. No 2 people with autism are the same, and as you quite rightly said, it needs to treated on an individual basis

But autism is still not a mental illness.. but that's my opinion"

I never said it was???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you can't message people whatever the reason you cannot ask/hint /put people on the spot or talk about how specific people have you blocked on the forum so please don't

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you can't message people whatever the reason you cannot ask/hint /put people on the spot or talk about how specific people have you blocked on the forum so please don't "

How have I put someone on the spot?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If the post didn't apply to you then ignore it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

So what disability do you class autism?

I don't class it.. I would say from my experience that individuals with autism have to be treated on an individual basis as each have their own way of dealing and reacting to certain things. But I really don't understand how it can be categorised as a mental illness.. maybe in individual cases they have developed mental illness due to certain aspects.

As I said above, it's a spectrum disorder, and as a result of it, some people develop learning difficulties or mental health issues. No 2 people with autism are the same, and as you quite rightly said, it needs to treated on an individual basis

But autism is still not a mental illness.. but that's my opinion

I never said it was??? "

Sorry I was just referring to my original post x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx"

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

"

It's a spectrum disorder, it's not a mental illness

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

big hugs ruby ... turning the other cheek is the noblest gesture you can make and is a demonstation of your unconditional love xxxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

It's a spectrum disorder, it's not a mental illness"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

"

Lol, it isn't a mental illness

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black Eyes are awesome convo starters, trust me I know..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

Lol, it isn't a mental illness"

How on earth can you say it's not a mental illness, my daughter is 14 with a mental age of 2 1/2. She can not do anything for herself apart from eat and she uses fingers instead of cutlery and drink but has to be a closed top cup. She is even still in nappies. She was 5 yrs old when I had my first kiss off of her and she has never spoken to me. It's not something that can be made easier like depression by taking tablets this is a life long mental condition which may get easier but it takes months even years to achieve the smallest result.

Even going to the very high function end although they can be super brainy most of them can't dress themselves and have severe social problems because the mental part of the brain can not combine the two.

Now I am saying this because this is what I have been told by going to parental classes for parents with Autistic children and guest speakers were always invited so its not something I have said just because I think I know!!.....Ruby (Hotruby)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No its not boring

It is Sharing..

Obviously you need a sounding block and here is a good place to go. Where you can put your thoughts get advise and im afraid probably critisism because that is what people do.

Must be lonely dealing with your daughter. sending hugs xx"

quite right. I think the positive comments far outweigh the negative comment. I don't know anything about autism really so your post is interesting, thought provoking and like others I can't help but feel compassion for you. I'm sure you're a strong minded lady and will figure out what you need to do. If that means getting help that could be a positive thing for you and your daughter...?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Keep your chin up Ruby.

I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you.

Don't be so down on yourself. Try speaking to your support network if things are seeming tougher than usual.

As for not posting about it in case others find it boring; behave yaself! If people don't find a thread interesting there is a return to forums button they can press!!!

Big hugs xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

Lol, it isn't a mental illness

How on earth can you say it's not a mental illness, my daughter is 14 with a mental age of 2 1/2. She can not do anything for herself apart from eat and she uses fingers instead of cutlery and drink but has to be a closed top cup. She is even still in nappies. She was 5 yrs old when I had my first kiss off of her and she has never spoken to me. It's not something that can be made easier like depression by taking tablets this is a life long mental condition which may get easier but it takes months even years to achieve the smallest result.

Even going to the very high function end although they can be super brainy most of them can't dress themselves and have severe social problems because the mental part of the brain can not combine the two.

Now I am saying this because this is what I have been told by going to parental classes for parents with Autistic children and guest speakers were always invited so its not something I have said just because I think I know!!.....Ruby (Hotruby)"

Why thank you for clearing this up... I still do not consider autism to be a mental illness but as per my previous posts its more like a mental impairment but wouldn't say its an illness. I would say people with Autism are just different that's all. Its not an illness or a disease that suddenly recover from.

You will also find that people who have Autism don't like it when it's called a disorder they prefer it when you say its a condition which i quite agree. But again this is my opinion.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks


" She has no speech even with sign language i can-not seem to make her understand.

Yes you are right i shouldn't of had a drink it was wrong on all levels. Escapism is what i joined this site for just to prove to myself that there is life on the other side of the door. Maybe it's getting to the time when i have to say "I just can't cope anymore"

Not to worry i will not bring this subject up anymore, it must be boring anyway.

Thank you very much to all those that have had some lovely things to say and help.

Pm me if you wish...."
can you get respite help ? It's worth looking into. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I sympathise ...its hard dealing with autism my 26 yr old was diagnosed aged 10 at great ormond street hospital with Aspergers syndrome which is a high functioning autism

she had difficulty socialising and because of her problems got depressed

at 23 her problems were awful as she was taken off an antidepressant due to gastric problems she started self harming and trying to kill herself ending up being sectioned for everyones safety the rages were dreadful

being able to share what you are going through does help but I am always aware that perhaps I shouldn't but if it helps a problem shared and all that

good luck we didn't get help till my daughter was 18 and went on to the adult team at social services take any respite help on offer I wish id dealt with things better

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

Lol, it isn't a mental illness

How on earth can you say it's not a mental illness, my daughter is 14 with a mental age of 2 1/2. She can not do anything for herself apart from eat and she uses fingers instead of cutlery and drink but has to be a closed top cup. She is even still in nappies. She was 5 yrs old when I had my first kiss off of her and she has never spoken to me. It's not something that can be made easier like depression by taking tablets this is a life long mental condition which may get easier but it takes months even years to achieve the smallest result.

Even going to the very high function end although they can be super brainy most of them can't dress themselves and have severe social problems because the mental part of the brain can not combine the two.

Now I am saying this because this is what I have been told by going to parental classes for parents with Autistic children and guest speakers were always invited so its not something I have said just because I think I know!!.....Ruby (Hotruby)

Why thank you for clearing this up... I still do not consider autism to be a mental illness but as per my previous posts its more like a mental impairment but wouldn't say its an illness. I would say people with Autism are just different that's all. Its not an illness or a disease that suddenly recover from.

You will also find that people who have Autism don't like it when it's called a disorder they prefer it when you say its a condition which i quite agree. But again this is my opinion."

Yes, it is your opinion. My daughter has ASD - Autism Spectrum Disorder ------- enough said lol x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aw don't be too hard on yourself OP. As said in previous comments, the same incident could have happened exactly the same even if u hadn't had a drink.

I work with people with mental illnesses, including autism, I don't know how u usually deal with these kind of incidents but would suggest having a casual chat with ur daughter at a time when she is calm, about what made her angry, and what she thinks you should do in future when she is angry. Helping her to unload and chatting about things and explaining ur reasons for your reactions once both calm can give u both closure and sometimes a fresh perspective on the incident. Plus treating ur self to some new makeup/shoes/ lingerie would be justified for giving up the wine

gonna sound a bit bitchy but it's not intended.. just wanted to clarify that autism is not a mental illness. But agree with the rest of the post xx

In general it is classed as a mental illness because its based on brain function and processing/understanding of information, as well as mental capacity.just as an acquired brain injury, schizophrenia etc would be

Lol, it isn't a mental illness

How on earth can you say it's not a mental illness, my daughter is 14 with a mental age of 2 1/2. She can not do anything for herself apart from eat and she uses fingers instead of cutlery and drink but has to be a closed top cup. She is even still in nappies. She was 5 yrs old when I had my first kiss off of her and she has never spoken to me. It's not something that can be made easier like depression by taking tablets this is a life long mental condition which may get easier but it takes months even years to achieve the smallest result.

Even going to the very high function end although they can be super brainy most of them can't dress themselves and have severe social problems because the mental part of the brain can not combine the two.

Now I am saying this because this is what I have been told by going to parental classes for parents with Autistic children and guest speakers were always invited so its not something I have said just because I think I know!!.....Ruby (Hotruby)"

If you bothered to read back on my other comments, you will see that I also have a daughter with Autism. Autism is a spectrum disorder, not a mental illness. People with Autism can develop mental Illnesses and learning disabilities as a result of having Autism .... But I repeat, autism is not a mental illness! Each case of Autism is completely different. So like you, it's not something I have just said because I think I know!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

i had that argument with my daughters doctors not long back that my daughter was not mental she was depressed from her circumstances but until she learns to control her wicked temper she stays there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i had that argument with my daughters doctors not long back that my daughter was not mental she was depressed from her circumstances but until she learns to control her wicked temper she stays there "

Exactly! Autism isn't a mental condition. You could develop a mental condition like depression from having Autism, but that doesn't make Autism a mental condition. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it affects your social skills, language skills etc etc etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"i had that argument with my daughters doctors not long back that my daughter was not mental she was depressed from her circumstances but until she learns to control her wicked temper she stays there

Exactly! Autism isn't a mental condition. You could develop a mental condition like depression from having Autism, but that doesn't make Autism a mental condition. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it affects your social skills, language skills etc etc etc "

it amazes me how little doctors know about aspergers aspies tend to see everything in black and white and are very logical

I did go through a stage where i couldn't cope and I messed up which didn't help her she wrote a letter to me saying shes terrified I will give up on her never happen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i had that argument with my daughters doctors not long back that my daughter was not mental she was depressed from her circumstances but until she learns to control her wicked temper she stays there

Exactly! Autism isn't a mental condition. You could develop a mental condition like depression from having Autism, but that doesn't make Autism a mental condition. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it affects your social skills, language skills etc etc etc

it amazes me how little doctors know about aspergers aspies tend to see everything in black and white and are very logical

I did go through a stage where i couldn't cope and I messed up which didn't help her she wrote a letter to me saying shes terrified I will give up on her never happen"

I'm sure she knows that now. We all go through stages where it gets on top of us, but we've just got to get on with it xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"i had that argument with my daughters doctors not long back that my daughter was not mental she was depressed from her circumstances but until she learns to control her wicked temper she stays there

Exactly! Autism isn't a mental condition. You could develop a mental condition like depression from having Autism, but that doesn't make Autism a mental condition. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means it affects your social skills, language skills etc etc etc

it amazes me how little doctors know about aspergers aspies tend to see everything in black and white and are very logical

I did go through a stage where i couldn't cope and I messed up which didn't help her she wrote a letter to me saying shes terrified I will give up on her never happen

I'm sure she knows that now. We all go through stages where it gets on top of us, but we've just got to get on with it xxx"

thanks it don't make me feel much better but I didn't see what was going on cos I was being selfish which is why I said take any help offered but at least they have all admitted to me that they don't know how I did cope till...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I personally think a new thread should be started to argue the finer points. This is about Ruby and her experience...

Ruby don't blame yourself. Children can be incredibly strong particularly if upset or frustrated.

One of my cousins has severe mental health problems, at 14 it would take 2 or 3 adult to stop him if he had a violent episode. It doesn't mater, if you are caught off balance you will fall or stagger.

You know what your daughter needs but you need to consider yourself as well. If you don't have some 'you' time, you will not be able to do your best for your daughter... Sometimes that is a nice bath other times it will be a glass of wine...

We wish you all the best....x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I personally think a new thread should be started to argue the finer points. This is about Ruby and her experience...

Ruby don't blame yourself. Children can be incredibly strong particularly if upset or frustrated.

One of my cousins has severe mental health problems, at 14 it would take 2 or 3 adult to stop him if he had a violent episode. It doesn't mater, if you are caught off balance you will fall or stagger.

You know what your daughter needs but you need to consider yourself as well. If you don't have some 'you' time, you will not be able to do your best for your daughter... Sometimes that is a nice bath other times it will be a glass of wine...

We wish you all the best....x"

sorry.. you are quite right it is about taking as much help as ruby can get and everyone can only do their best good luck ruby

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I personally think a new thread should be started to argue the finer points. This is about Ruby and her experience...

Ruby don't blame yourself. Children can be incredibly strong particularly if upset or frustrated.

One of my cousins has severe mental health problems, at 14 it would take 2 or 3 adult to stop him if he had a violent episode. It doesn't mater, if you are caught off balance you will fall or stagger.

You know what your daughter needs but you need to consider yourself as well. If you don't have some 'you' time, you will not be able to do your best for your daughter... Sometimes that is a nice bath other times it will be a glass of wine...

We wish you all the best....x

sorry.. you are quite right it is about taking as much help as ruby can get and everyone can only do their best good luck ruby "

good luck Ruby xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top