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Can you still do it?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The some of the comments on the romance thread have set me thinking again. Sorry.

If the primary way you meet new people for sex/intimacy/special friendships is here do you lose the ability to meet people outside of this realm?

That's a bit clumsy, I know. I mean the loss of the conventions, the skills, the meeting without asking about their kinkiness or how the hotel bill will be shared?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Never had a problem in real life

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

As I say this in a car park lol

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. "

I know what you mean. I was celibate for so long before this that I lost the knack of even knowing when someone was interested in me. At least I can spot that now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if anything being on here has improved my confidence of meeting others outside of the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, I'm also on a dating website and I find it way harder there than on here... Maybe because meeting someone you will share more than sex with is scarier, I assume

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. "
oh I don't know, I reckon you would have them falling at your feet with your charm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am single by choice, as I value my freedom and independence, and not because I cannot pull in the real world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"if anything being on here has improved my confidence of meeting others outside of the site."

That's good.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I am single by choice, as I value my freedom and independence, and not because I cannot pull in the real world. "

It's not about wanting to pull in the real world - I'm not looking to do that either - but whether you lose the skills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't look for anyone else, I'm happy with my folicably challenged Obi

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet. "

Body language should never be ignored and neither should the crap filter on here.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I don't look for anyone else, I'm happy with my folicably challenged Obi "

That goes without saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In all honesty, at the moment I think I would find it easier to be chatted up in person in the real world. I'm a bit slow when it comes to realising if someone is taking an interest but I find it easier to read body language that some of the crap that people send you in messages on here just to get a meet.

Body language should never be ignored and neither should the crap filter on here.

"

There's a crap filter? Is that for Platinum members only?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I've been married a long time and I don't think I'd easily 'chat up' a lady outside the lifestyle. I don't know but it's a feeling I have. oh I don't know, I reckon you would have them falling at your feet with your charm "

Thank you. Thats very encouraging. I did go to a couple of parties over the Christmas holiday period and it was a little difficult not to draw the conversation towards sex...it was like 'don't mention the war'. It wasn't even a sexually charged atmosphere or anything just my mind thinking os sexualised puns when people said things. Puerile, really I suppose. Anyway, if I ever became single, then I'd look here first rather than anywhere else. Social abilities notwithstanding, of course!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I don't look for anyone else, I'm happy with my folicably challenged Obi "

At least he's not frolically challenged....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't look for anyone else, I'm happy with my folicably challenged Obi

At least he's not frolically challenged...."

No comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have virtually stopped using the site outside of the forum because the quality of interaction is so marked. I have found my confidence increasing dramatically in recent times because I am now chatting to and starting to meet people I really like. I am also rediscovering who I really am.

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington

I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing"

Of course it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing

Of course it is.

"

Not when you flirt with almost everyone you know!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in!"

Well, I would hope that someone looking for a "normal relationship" with you would find you attractive and want sex with you. Try not to dismiss people because they fancy you. Only you can lower your defences so I hope your confidence in yourself and trust in others hasn't been locked away forever.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing

Of course it is.

Not when you flirt with almost everyone you know! "

Try selective flirting and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I never seemed to have the skills to begin with so doubt I'll have found them now! I can never tell when anyone is really chatting me up or if they're just being sociable, and I don't remember ever attempting to chat someone else up! I can flirt, but that isn't really the same thing"

Same here ...

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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago

Wellington


"I am single and unfortunately last year got hurt very badly! I don't meet anymore kind of lost my mojo just come here for the forums! I have had interest shown from a couple of guys recently from the real world, neither were my type but even so, I can't help but wonder if all they want is sex! I believe that is because my view has been coloured somewhat from fab! I do also wonder how it would be on a normal date lol, although I think I am too scared to try right now! I would love to have a normal relationship but think my guard is up too high right now to let anyone in!

Well, I would hope that someone looking for a "normal relationship" with you would find you attractive and want sex with you. Try not to dismiss people because they fancy you. Only you can lower your defences so I hope your confidence in yourself and trust in others hasn't been locked away forever.

"

Thankyou Lickety I really needed someone to say that! I had almost forgotten it is normal to want to have sex in a normal relationship lol!! I know its just my defences in play right now! I do want to lower them, they just don't want to come down yet! I guess time will tell!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am single by choice, as I value my freedom and independence, and not because I cannot pull in the real world.

It's not about wanting to pull in the real world - I'm not looking to do that either - but whether you lose the skills.

"

.

"... not because I cannot..." meaning I still can and know how.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think so.. I met my fwb in the real world

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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

I've no intention of entering the vanilla dating world anytime soon, but is there still a convention whereby you date/meet someone, and it's say the 12th or whatever date before intimacy occurs?

Interesting!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I've no intention of entering the vanilla dating world anytime soon, but is there still a convention whereby you date/meet someone, and it's say the 12th or whatever date before intimacy occurs?

Interesting! "

I don't know but that sometimes happens on here too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No problems maintaining a grip on reality. On conventional dating or meeting in a social situ I reckon my average used to be third meet for nooky. But the times they.are a changing.....

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"No problems maintaining a grip on reality. On conventional dating or meeting in a social situ I reckon my average used to be third meet for nooky. But the times they.are a changing....."

Is your averaging getting longer or shorter?

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter


"The some of the comments on the romance thread have set me thinking again. Sorry.

If the primary way you meet new people for sex/intimacy/special friendships is here do you lose the ability to meet people outside of this realm?

That's a bit clumsy, I know. I mean the loss of the conventions, the skills, the meeting without asking about their kinkiness or how the hotel bill will be shared?"

I b be the opposite way, I s by even try to meet people from here, I have enough friends in the real world for that, but I stalk the forums a lot, only since me last gfmade me shut down my pof account

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