FabSwingers.com forum: bad sister meltdown

By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

so, i am having a bad sister meltdown at the minute.

My sster has just had an offer on a house accepted AND she has been tipped the wink for a promotion coming up at work.

Whilst i am obviously very happy for her ad i know its an amazing opportunity for her and her family a part of me is perhaps a little resentful and definitely a lot jealous of her and her life.

I am the oldest of 3 yet she (the middle one) has done so much more in her life. She has 2 kids, is married, has a great career, her husband has a great career as well.

Already my mum starts every conversation with 'isnt it great about the house', 'i cant wait to come and stay at the house' the house, the house the house the house!!!!

I know that she deserves to be happy and excited about it which is why i would never dream of letting on how i feel about it and will share her excitement but i need a place to vent to my craziness and you folks are it i'm afraid!!

I have previously told my mum how crazy i get when i hear of another of my sisters sucesses yet she still cuts any conversation short to talk about her! maybe its that that has me feeling like this?

i know i am a terrible sister for thinking like this...and that makes me more upset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not a terrible sister.

Ring me if you want to have a proper vent...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its great that your sisters doing ok.

having two kids and having to go to work isnt easy though and she probably envys you just a bit sometimes, and just because shes married to a man with a good job doesnt mean they will always be happy or even stay together because thats the way life is.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

im in a similar position evie,my Grandson lives 300 miles away and his nan lives 5 miles away,im sooo jealous that he had his first sleepover with her and not me,this means he will be having a lot more cos he was so good,but I wont be getting any sleepovers with him,jealous but ashamed of myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im in a similar position evie,my Grandson lives 300 miles away and his nan lives 5 miles away,im sooo jealous that he had his first sleepover with her and not me,this means he will be having a lot more cos he was so good,but I wont be getting any sleepovers with him,jealous but ashamed of myself

Thats a shame 300 miles away i understand why you would feel a bit jealous.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

How could you possibly be envious of your sister for doing well. My sister has a bloody fantastic life and I'm really pleased for her.

I think you sound really selfish to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she probably envies your lifestyle too

your not restricted by anything, youve a good job, loving partner but youve the freedom to go whereever, whenever you want

most of their income is probs spent on bills, and your nieces/nephews.. you can go out drinking, friends parties, nights out, concerts,

youve a really strong close relationship with your dad.. does she?

Think its healthy to feel the way you do, no one is perfect and its natural to want to be centre of attention (even just a little bit of the time).. you'll have your time im confident. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be..."

What a very strange thing to say , why shouldn't she get promoted and why won't it be her home ?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"How could you possibly be envious of your sister for doing well. My sister has a bloody fantastic life and I'm really pleased for her.

I think you sound really selfish to be honest"

i am pleased for her and have been there to support her achieve her goals...looking after the kids while she studied for her exams etc so i certainly am not selfish.

you can be envious and proud at the same time you know.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be..."

why wont it be a home?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

The only thing I'm jealous about with my sister is that she has kids...as I would love kids and see how happy she is and seeing what they get up to...etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be...

What a very strange thing to say , why shouldn't she get promoted and why won't it be her home ? "

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Both my sisters are a lot better off fiscally than me, and are no doubt better than me at certain things. They live close together so do a lot together, whereas I live too far away and so have to hear about the fab stuff they get up to. But I am happy being me, and I suspect there are things they are slightly envious about with my life.

We all get on, and at least our mother criticises us all equally. No favouritism in my family!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

my two girls are incredibly supportive of each other,they both have widely differing lifestyles through choice,but sometimes there is a bit of jealousy on both sides,doesnt mean they aren't proud of each other and they love one another to bits,its just human nature

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By *appyfuckerMan
over a year ago

in a happy place north wales coast

"so, i am having a bad sister meltdown at the minute.

My sster has just had an offer on a house accepted AND she has been tipped the wink for a promotion coming up at work.

Whilst i am obviously very happy for her ad i know its an amazing opportunity for her and her family a part of me is perhaps a little resentful and definitely a lot jealous of her and her life.

I am the oldest of 3 yet she (the middle one) has done so much more in her life. She has 2 kids, is married, has a great career, her husband has a great career as well.

Already my mum starts every conversation with 'isnt it great about the house', 'i cant wait to come and stay at the house' the house, the house the house the house!!!!

I have previously told my mum how crazy i get when i hear of another of my sisters sucesses yet she still cuts any conversation short to talk about her! maybe its that that has me feeling like this?

i know i am a terrible sister for thinking like this...and that makes me more upset

"
yea but dose she swing to bet no and dosent have as much fun

look on the bright side you aint got to pack n move ect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be...

why wont it be a home?"

by the fact U referred to.it as house. The house etc.

like a material object.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"so, i am having a bad sister meltdown at the minute.

My sster has just had an offer on a house accepted AND she has been tipped the wink for a promotion coming up at work.

Whilst i am obviously very happy for her ad i know its an amazing opportunity for her and her family a part of me is perhaps a little resentful and definitely a lot jealous of her and her life.

I am the oldest of 3 yet she (the middle one) has done so much more in her life. She has 2 kids, is married, has a great career, her husband has a great career as well.

Already my mum starts every conversation with 'isnt it great about the house', 'i cant wait to come and stay at the house' the house, the house the house the house!!!!

I have previously told my mum how crazy i get when i hear of another of my sisters sucesses yet she still cuts any conversation short to talk about her! maybe its that that has me feeling like this?

i know i am a terrible sister for thinking like this...and that makes me more upset

yea but dose she swing to bet no and dosent have as much fun

look on the bright side you aint got to pack n move ect"

Don't mention moving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my sisters has 3 businesses, a beautiful home and just got married again @ the age of 50 and is so happy. I couldn't be more happy for her if I tried lol

Maybe your just having one of those days evie (hugs) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How could you possibly be envious of your sister for doing well. My sister has a bloody fantastic life and I'm really pleased for her.

I think you sound really selfish to be honest

i am pleased for her and have been there to support her achieve her goals...looking after the kids while she studied for her exams etc so i certainly am not selfish.

you can be envious and proud at the same time you know."

Your lucky to be an auntie because you can have fun with your nephews but you havnt got all the responsibility of being their parent. i havnt got any neices or nephews.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!! OP Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Its appalling that she can be given the bid for a promotion.

so much for fair recruitment.

A house, the house, her house... Will be just that, not a home.

Take a breath and step back... If your mother is being blinkered leave her be...

why wont it be a home?

by the fact U referred to.it as house. The house etc.

like a material object.

thats because at the moment it is the house...they havent moved in yet

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

I don't think it makes you a bad sister because you are envious. If you wished she didn't have those things that would be different, but you don't.

My brother is extremely well off and I get very envious when I see pictures of his lifestyle on FB, but I don't wish he didn't have all that he does...just wish I had some of it!

There are always going to be people that have more, a lot more, than we do. It just hits a lot closer to home when it's a sibling because you grew up together and had the same advantages etc. so it's a bit like "and look at what you could have had!"

The trick is to look at your own life and see the things in it that make you happy and concentrate on those. For instance my brother has no kitties. He's so poor when it comes to kitties...I feel sorry for him really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to.measure your life by other peoples, whether related or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A house is a house bricks and mortar, believe me I've just had mine repossessed. A home is wherever you live with your fily and loved ones there is a major difference.

As for promotions, and businesses etc you are but one pay packet away from nothing. Again I had a great career a Mercedes car, 2 motorcycles and a 6 berth cruiser. Now I'm homeless living with my son. A simple company buy out and restructure and it's all tits up.

A pang of jealousy towards ones siblings is normal but I despise parents that play the siblings against each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fily and lived ones should read family and lived ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is normal and you are not a bad person for feeling this way.

I resent my elder sister and younger brother at times, as my dad favoured my sister and my bro was pampered because he is a boy.

So the rebellious middle child that is me just got on with my life, much to my mum's annoyance.

My mum once said she needed to look after me as my dad preferred my sis and bro ages ago.

When my dad was alive and before I ex-communicated my sister, whenever I rang my folks they would ask me after my sister or to tell me what she got up to via other sources rather than to spend time talking to me.

I got so fed up with it that I stopped ringing them for months until they got the hint.

Now that my sister has ex-communicated the rest of my family, my mum does not talk to me about her anymore.

It's good that you get on with your sister and her family.

I don't with mine and do not have any regrets for cutting her out of my life as I genuinely do not like her.

Hugs to OP, I feel for you.

So true about we can choose our friends but not our family.

Yes I agree. It does not mean I have to like someone just because he/she are bloody related.

Perhaps talking to your folks and let them know how you feel may make them realise they are being insensitive.

Continue to be yourself and try not to compare yourself with other people, as you are lovely as you are.

I don't compare myself with anyone else except for age, as I know I look younger than my age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A house is a house bricks and mortar, believe me I've just had mine repossessed. A home is wherever you live with your fily and loved ones there is a major difference.

A pang of jealousy towards ones siblings is normal but I despise parents that play the siblings against each other."

so true.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have previously told my mum how crazy i get when i hear of another of my sisters sucesses yet she still cuts any conversation short to talk about her! maybe its that that has me feeling like this?

i know i am a terrible sister for thinking like this...and that makes me more upset

I don't think you're a terrible sister.

You might find that your mum starts every conversation with your sister saying "Evie does xyz so well" some mum's do that and don't even realise that it can cause an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grew up in my sisters shadow. My dad would rave about her to all his mates and I would be introduced as the other one. So know how you feel. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have previously told my mum how crazy i get when i hear of another of my sisters sucesses yet she still cuts any conversation short to talk about her! maybe its that that has me feeling like this?

i know i am a terrible sister for thinking like this...and that makes me more upset

I don't think you're a terrible sister.

You might find that your mum starts every conversation with your sister saying "Evie does xyz so well" some mum's do that and don't even realise that it can cause an issue."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at what you have going on in your life. How you help others, your new job and the achievements you are making towards a healthier lifestyle.

People's lives take different turns at different stages. Just because you don't have all that now doesn't mean to say you won't. You never know you might not want all of that, but just some of it.

X x x.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

My dad is always talking about me to others....my parents are so incredibly proud of me....They do far more for me then they do for my sister however would still go above and beyond for her...they see that she is settled and see that im not 100% contented so do spoil me lots!!! To be fair without my parents i would of been 6ft under along time ago.

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