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"Profile Re_iew and Editing Service. I will add and subtract the punctuation that others just cannot be bothered with. " Will you offer translation from txt spk too or is that a specialist service? | |||
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"Detective services? " I might need to hire you to find out if I'm a fake. | |||
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"ultimate motorboat experience *jiggle jiggle* " Hmmm. I'm not sure that's what you are offering. You provide the "ocean" but someone else has to provide the motorboat. | |||
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"agony aunt?" Go right ahead but please note that I remain the Interfering Biddy. | |||
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"Profile Re_iew and Editing Service. I will add and subtract the punctuation that others just cannot be bothered with. Will you offer translation from txt spk too or is that a specialist service? " Yep. Give me crappy attempts at online sexing and I will provide peerless prose that will have pants dropping everywhere. | |||
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"Profile Re_iew and Editing Service. I will add and subtract the punctuation that others just cannot be bothered with. Will you offer translation from txt spk too or is that a specialist service? Yep. Give me crappy attempts at online sexing and I will provide peerless prose that will have pants dropping everywhere." You mean sexting? | |||
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"I can provide a 'post in the forum' service so one can get seen in the fora, appearing to be active, whilst one is at work or asleep or hooveribg etc. A single witty, engaging and subtly sexually suggestive message can also be sent for an additional consideration. " Note the deliberate spelling mistake to instantly get a message from the above offering the 'spell check' service....clever, eh? | |||
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"Profile Re_iew and Editing Service. I will add and subtract the punctuation that others just cannot be bothered with. Will you offer translation from txt spk too or is that a specialist service? Yep. Give me crappy attempts at online sexing and I will provide peerless prose that will have pants dropping everywhere. You mean sexting? " That too. | |||
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"Alternative Hobby Advice - for when you can't take any more let downs and celibacy is looking good." OOH! I could do with that one. | |||
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"Profile Re_iew and Editing Service. I will add and subtract the punctuation that others just cannot be bothered with. Will you offer translation from txt spk too or is that a specialist service? Yep. Give me crappy attempts at online sexing and I will provide peerless prose that will have pants dropping everywhere. You mean sexting? " I thought a lot of what happened on here was online sexing. The number of threads about women really being single men suggests a sexing service is needed. | |||
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"If anyone's unsure of their age... I can guess to within 2 years either way by looking at their bumhole..." Is it like the rings on a tree trunk? | |||
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"I could be a roving London reporter. If anything of interest is hap ironing in the capital I could give live updates and on the scene coverage. " I see a lot of creased clothing so I don't think much ironing is happening in the Capital. | |||
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"Alternative Hobby Advice - for when you can't take any more let downs and celibacy is looking good. OOH! I could do with that one." Upon perusing your profile I noted this line "I am also interested in exploring a submissive role". I therefore feel you may enjoy the hobby of naked housecleaning, but mind where your bits are when you're doing the ironing. My first consultation is free of charge. You are welcome. | |||
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"I can provide a 'post in the forum' service so one can get seen in the fora, appearing to be active, whilst one is at work or asleep or hooveribg etc. A single witty, engaging and subtly sexually suggestive message can also be sent for an additional consideration. " Perhaps you could talk up and name drop too? | |||
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"I could be a roving London reporter. If anything of interest is hap ironing in the capital I could give live updates and on the scene coverage. I see a lot of creased clothing so I don't think much ironing is happening in the Capital. " Hap ironing is the latest saying. You'll all be saying it soon. Remember where you heard it first. | |||
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"I will provide a "how to eat in the bath" workshop " You need to iron out the spillage issues or at least include a module on what to do when there is spillage. | |||
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"I will provide a "how to eat in the bath" workshop You need to iron out the spillage issues or at least include a module on what to do when there is spillage. " Don't worry, all possibilities will be covered in the NVQ level 3 course | |||
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"I offer care in the community service " Are you still taking in old men at Christmas? | |||
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"I offer care in the community service Are you still taking in old men at Christmas? " lol, not just for Christmas all year round I got one | |||
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"What's hap ironing?! Only those in the know know. " If I add a py on the end, it's ironing with a smile | |||
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"What's hap ironing?! Only those in the know know. If I add a py on the end, it's ironing with a smile " Hap ironingpy? | |||
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"Styling" None better. | |||
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"If anyone's unsure of their age... I can guess to within 2 years either way by looking at their bumhole..." | |||
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"Can I be boob size estimatrix? " Do me! Do me! | |||
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"Portable hat stand at your service! " I've got a hat...come stand over here! | |||
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"Alternative Hobby Advice - for when you can't take any more let downs and celibacy is looking good. OOH! I could do with that one. Upon perusing your profile I noted this line "I am also interested in exploring a submissive role". I therefore feel you may enjoy the hobby of naked housecleaning, but mind where your bits are when you're doing the ironing. My first consultation is free of charge. You are welcome. " You are so kind. Now, where does my wife keep the ironing board? | |||
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"Portable hat stand at your service! I've got a hat...come stand over here!" Yes mistress! | |||
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"Those asking to run services sort yourselves out and BE entrepreneurs. Make us an offer, set out your stall and thrust your way into the market. " I've already had my first client. It was gratis but next time the cash will come rolling in! | |||
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"Guess I could offer a wet kipper, slapping service. " Do the kippers get anything out of you slapping them? | |||
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"Portable hat stand at your service! I've got a hat...come stand over here! Yes mistress! " You'd better not poke my hat out of shape! | |||
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"Those asking to run services sort yourselves out and BE entrepreneurs. Make us an offer, set out your stall and thrust your way into the market. I've already had my first client. It was gratis but next time the cash will come rolling in!" I saw. You are doing well and building a client base. Proper entrepreneurial behaviour. | |||
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"Guess I could offer a wet kipper, slapping service. Do the kippers get anything out of you slapping them? " Just bruises and a satisfied smile | |||
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"WeightGainers. " Is that chicken related? | |||
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"We will offer a photo retouching service editing out the pink dressing gowns and make up from single guys profile pics. " Will you clean up the toilet pictures too? . . . . . . . My ex had to re-touch his pictures to remove my dressing table. | |||
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"WeightGainers. Is that chicken related? " ..all inclusive | |||
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"We will offer a photo retouching service editing out the pink dressing gowns and make up from single guys profile pics. Will you clean up the toilet pictures too?-D" closing the lid is extra | |||
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"Matchmaking services! Tell me what you want and I will scour FAB for you! " That's a useful service. Please find me two bi men i fancy who fancy me too. Ta muchly. | |||
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"Ummm I don't know. Snark, sarcasm and extreme stubbornness lessons? Pain and suffering for those who are into that sort of thing. As well as a few who probably aren't but deserve it nonetheless. Cat fluff. I have a lot of spare cat fluff available. General advanced level pedantry." Maybe the crafters can use the fluff. | |||
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"Motivational course, with a "get a grip and get a life" tutorial for no added extra to first 1000 students. " Will you be using any specific tools to get your message across? | |||
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"Motivational course, with a "get a grip and get a life" tutorial for no added extra to first 1000 students. Will you be using any specific tools to get your message across?" ...aside from my caustic wit and bullwhip?!! | |||
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"Motivational course, with a "get a grip and get a life" tutorial for no added extra to first 1000 students. Will you be using any specific tools to get your message across? ...aside from my caustic wit and bullwhip?!! " A tongue lashing with a lashing from you should do it. | |||
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" Protection delivered in a diplomatic manner. Failing that I can sail your boat." Condoms in a diplomatic bag seems a little extreme. | |||
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"Tina Titz has cornered the market with the FORUM INSURANCE. Invictus has the Boyfriend Experience package. I offered the Timewaster Compensation Scheme and I am considering offering The Real Girlfriend Experience for the masochists. What product or service can you offer to Fabsters?" I can be the "dirty old man" in role play. | |||
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" Protection delivered in a diplomatic manner. Failing that I can sail your boat." Now that's an appealing idea. | |||
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"Don't forget my Picture fabbing service! © Funky Monkey Enterprises™ All rights reserved." Yeah about that, I paid you 37 pence in 1987. I know its a gentlemans agreement but where's ny fabs ? | |||
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"Don't forget my Picture fabbing service! © Funky Monkey Enterprises™ All rights reserved. Yeah about that, I paid you 37 pence in 1987. I know its a gentlemans agreement but where's ny fabs ?" Ah shit, sorry bro that was before the .com crash of the late 1990's. Due to the market prices back then and inflation your 37p is only worth 0.2% of a fab. If you were willing to invest more money now I would be happy utilise my vast team of fake accounts to fab your pics. Sorry for the inconvenience. | |||
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"© Funky Monkey Enterprises™ All rights reserved." I have that as a tattoo on my arse...." I can confirm this is true. | |||
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"Guess I could offer a wet kipper, slapping service. " I know someone that'll sign up for that | |||
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"Guess I could offer a wet kipper, slapping service. I know someone that'll sign up for that " Was that courtesy of the Kipper Department? | |||
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"Tina has launched another bloody enterprise. Keep up folk or she will own the forum. " Only the first step in World Domination. Just wait till ebay deliver my extinct volcano and monorail set | |||
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"I am offering a 'cooling off' service. I will hold your post for an hour at a small charge and then return it to you for reconsideration. " That is a very good service and I may need to use it once a day. Can I buy in bulk? | |||
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