FabSwingers.com forum: Thanks but no thanks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"When sending some one a message ( after reading there profile) and you match what they are looking for ... Do they then read your message then not reply.... Surely it's polite to say thanks but no thanks after all we took the the time to read there profile and send a message "

A no reply is a thanks but no thanks,

I console myself with the thought 'i was out of their league '

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would thanks but no thanks tell you that a no reply doesn't? Outcome is the same - no meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails!"
what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to be honest if a get a no reply it doesn't bother me at all, some folks get so many messages that they'd spend all day replying with no thanks, i do like to think i've put enough effort in to get a reply and most do, i've never understood why people send nasty messages back but i guess thats because i'm not a dickhead lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/01/14 09:19:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "

Why is it impolite to not reply?

You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails!"

This I used to answer all mail but have had the above too often now

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "

That's the point Evie was making. Some respond to a polite no thanks with a strop or downright insults.

And a point from me: it's amazing how many claim to have read my profile and to match all my preferences and when I look at their details they really really don'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way

Why is it impolite to not reply?

You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy"
you always get one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would thanks but no thanks tell you that a no reply doesn't? Outcome is the same - no meet."

I for one have had the polite thanks but no thanks as I was not of.interest to them. However I subsequently met said couple at a later date in a club situation and that courtesy made things cool for all.

Treating folk how I like to be treated is not something I will change anytime.soon

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By *hoe_nixCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I try to respond politely to all but if its blatantly obvious that they haven't read my profile I ignore them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone has obviously read my profile, matches what I'm looking for and been good enough to send a pic, then I will always answer. Chancers who mail willy nilly get deleted!! Had enough of the why not and I can travell to you and London/Manchester/Glasgow and even Dublin aren't that far really

"
it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears

The people that grind your gears should be the ones who can't take a thanks but no thanks for what it is rather than then sending further messages. They are to blame for people not replying. Me included. I used to reply to everyone. Not any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have stopped replying to everyone. If we put a meet on we get a lot of messages and I really can't be bothered replying to half of them when they don't match what we are looking for or haven't read our profile. We are on here to enjoy ourselves and sending a load of thanks but no thanks messages isn't fun and doesn't change the outcome. We still don't want to meet them and a no reply puts that across to them.

If you need a thanks but no thanks message it does seem a bit needy as a previous poster has said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll send a polite no thanks, then again I'm not inundated with messages like women and couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus how do you know that you match what they are looking for. Just because you think you match what is on there profile it doesn't mean you actually do.

We have a few things that we look for or avoid which we don't put on our profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how often does this topic come up? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks but no thanks " is a grean light to some as you get asked

Why not?

But why not?

Go on give me a try.

But why not? and on and on and on till you have to block. No reply = not interested its that simple.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears

You can only control the controllables

How you use the sites features is in your control how others choosse to use the site isn t,

Have fun with the people that do reply positively to you, simples,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how is it impolite not to converse with people you have no interest in, when it seems its not impolite to send an unsolicited message to someone?

i wouldnt talk to someone in the street that hasnt shown me any interest

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Some people will reply with a thanks but no thanks type message and some won't. We will in general if it's clear that someone has taken the time to read our profile and we very rarely get any nasty replies back.

We always take a no reply as a not interested....

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"how often does this topic come up? lol"

About as often as does size matter, what is curvy, why are there so many timewasters!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha this thread comes up so often and always amuses me.

Firstly you get the people who whine about not getting replies to their messages, get over it and move on.

Then you get the people who vigorously defend their right to ignore messages, get over yourselves.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears

Exactly. The sad fact is that the best way to avoid further messages containing pestering or abuse is to delete without replying. For the recipient it is the action LEAST likely to lead to ABUSE. Replying with 'Thanks but no thanks' is the MOST likely to lead to ABUSE. Do you not see? There is a strong incentive NOT to reply in the negative.

I try to answer everyone who seems polite and reasonable and within my stated criteria, but sadly after an abusive reply sometimes I just don't feel like taking the risk!

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

well i suppose Thats the price you pay ....therz nothing else to guess now...-quick let leave before the lights come on ...cause then you dont have to see..no you dont have to see wit you've done.,.. x X X

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By *ScotsmanMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

are you mine !!!.and i go crazy cause here is where i wanna be..and satisfaction seems like a distant memory.,,are you mine x X(geeeetar solo). x o X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no reply is a thanks but no thanks. You was the one to picked to mail and read there profile .. maybe they have no time to sit wright 100s of letters back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it's the ones that don't reply with a thanks but no thanks after people make the effort to read the profile and attach a picture that grinds my gears

Yeah..... massive effort there.....

You sound like you are not one of the couples \ single fems who get over 100 messages a day.... would you REALLY reply to everyone of you did get a hundred messages a day ?

I don't think you would, otherwise being on the site would be more a chore admin role than looking for fun

Looks like you'll just have to put up with your gears being grinded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And have you not seen here people wright say no thanks then get letters back saying nasty things ... so why should people open themselves to all that. Best say nothing at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how often does this topic come up? lol"

Too often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply to pretty much all my mail if not interested with this;

"Thanks very much for taking the time to message but I'm sorry, you're not what I'm looking for on here at this time. Take care and have fun

Some replies to this were;

"Go f*ck yourself"

"Get out of your own ass, you're not all that"

"You're not my type, just thought you'd be an easy shag"

I could go on and on. People like this are pathetic and have no respect or self confidence. This is why I and many others just don't reply. It spoils it for the genuine people who can take a polite no thanks with maturity and respect but its life on here unfortunately. I'm not here to be verbally abused so not replying is a no thanks from me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to reply to pretty much all my mail if not interested with this;

"Thanks very much for taking the time to message but I'm sorry, you're not what I'm looking for on here at this time. Take care and have fun

Some replies to this were;

"Go f*ck yourself"

"Get out of your own ass, you're not all that"

"You're not my type, just thought you'd be an easy shag"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how is it impolite not to converse with people you have no interest in, when it seems its not impolite to send an unsolicited message to someone?

i wouldnt talk to someone in the street that hasnt shown me any interest"

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no reply is a thanks but no thanks,

I console myself with the thought 'i was out of their league '

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we reply to every well written message we get, even if they ruin it by sending a pic of a dick.

anything below 2 lines gets deleted

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

This forum really needs some sticky topics for these posts that come up every couple of days.

Sticking it in the FAQ is clearly not enough for some people.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Oh, and my answer is you don't getto decide how other people spend their time. Your time is yours to manage; their time is theirs.

If you decide to use your time writing a message it does not entitle you to dictate or expect that they should use their time sending one back.

If you hadn't wanted to message them, you wouldn't have. They get the same choice.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "

whhhooooooooooooooosssssshhhhhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way

Why is it impolite to not reply?

You say politeness goes a long way but what does a thamks but no thanks really achieve? The insistance of needing a reply is somewhat needy you always get one "

I don't get the point you are making? And you still haven't explained why you feel entitled to one or why those that choose not to message you are impolite?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

If people want to reply they can. If they don't, they don't have to. Either way no meet is likely.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"But why? What's wrong with me? Are you sure? I'm the best you'll have!

Or for those unable to take rejection....

Like I'd want to fuck a fatty anyway! You've shaghed the rest of the site, why not me? You shouldn't be so picky, you ain't that sexy!

That is why some choose not to send that makes but no thanks emails! what is wrong with .. Thanks for the message but your not what we are looking for .... A little politeness goes a long way "

I used to say that too - only to get a response like 'why, what are you looking for?' as if that would make a difference.

Now I answer only those who have evidently taken care over messages with a 'no thank you' if I am not interested.

Furthermore, the idea that 'a little politeness goes a long way' makes no sense since these are total strangers I will never meet - so what 'long way' do I have to worry about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see I've missed the daily "why are people so rude" thread today

Shame...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if we get a thanks but no thanks we note it and also reply with a thanks for replying - manners cost nothing - and we always send a message rather than not reply - so far no nasty messages back at us -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People just need to be adult about it, a no reply is obviously a no thanks, you dont have to be a brainbox to figure that one out. A message serves no purpose does it.

And all this 'a polite no goes a long way' is rubbish too, people are just miffed that the person they messaged didn't reply and therefore a meet won't take place. Its easier to pass blame onto others by calling them rude than accept its a no.

I have never once compained about no replies, its not anything important to passfeel aggrieved by

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Plus how do you know that you match what they are looking for. Just because you think you match what is on there profile it doesn't mean you actually do.

We have a few things that we look for or avoid which we don't put on our profile. "

This!

When I was meeting I had on my profile if they didn't match what I was looking for there would be no reply. Anyone who did but I didn't want to meet for whatever reason always got a response.

Never received a nasty reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I reply with "thanks but no thanks" is when I feel the sender has made an effort, otherwise I just delete... I'm not here to waste time on replying to every scrap of mail I get, especially if I ain't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The only time I reply with "thanks but no thanks" is when I feel the sender has made an effort, otherwise I just delete... I'm not here to waste time on replying to every scrap of mail I get, especially if I ain't interested."

Yeh this exactly. I used to try and reply to every message. Oh how quick I found out that was impossible and unnecessary

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"if we get a thanks but no thanks we note it and also reply with a thanks for replying - manners cost nothing - and we always send a message rather than not reply - so far no nasty messages back at us - "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is our stance too.

My Iissue with people whinging about not getting a reply is often what they feel is a well written message quite simply isn't. And when they say we match in what we are looking for often the only common factor we can see is being a couple.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I make a point of putting certain criteria on my profile yet still get messages from people who don't meet this criteria. So they either have not read my message or completely ignored what I had taken the time and effort to write - in those cases I don't respond.

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