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OCD

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Is that ocd or just a very sensible mature 14 year old? I think it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x"

Just ask her after she checked that they're were all locked. And then say befor she checks how many might be open.

I used to be OCD about locking my place up . I gave up when I dated a girl that treated me That way.

Many times I go out now and come home to windows being open lol

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By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago

Neath


"Is that ocd or just a very sensible mature 14 year old? I think it is. "

If its causing her anxiety then I would say its a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/01/14 22:55:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that ocd or just a very sensible mature 14 year old? I think it is. "

Agreed. I wouldn't even worry about it unless it became very problematic.

If you Google it you will get better answers than I can give but it is normally dealt with the same as most other issues (if it is severe); medication and therapy.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Firstly get a proper diagnosis. OCD is often used these days to represent just habits. Proper OCD involves irrational thought processes around why they perform these tasks over and over again, usually around people the love being injured or dying.

Treating anything like this is tough as it involves the individual challenging themself not to perform whatever compulsion they would normally do.

Its not easy but maybe talk to her to try and understand what these trigger was?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long has she had it? If it is since you and her dad split, that may be the cause of it, take her to the doctors as they will be able to help

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

i personally have it in certain areas ..food is a big example ..i cant have certain food types on the same plate so they have to go on separate plates ..ni then have to clear each food group in a certain order etc ...i get on my own nerves with it so god knows what other people make of it but it is something i cant change ...try and be tolerant would be my advise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try calling a place called c h a m s. There is one in Rugby and Coventry. Should be one near you. Call the rugby office and ask them if you can't find one near you. There is a waiting list be warned.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try calling a place called c h a m s. There is one in Rugby and Coventry. Should be one near you. Call the rugby office and ask them if you can't find one near you. There is a waiting list be warned.

X"

Not the one in Darlaston.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days."

Hah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days.

Hah!"

True xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try calling a place called c h a m s. There is one in Rugby and Coventry. Should be one near you. Call the rugby office and ask them if you can't find one near you. There is a waiting list be warned.

X

Not the one in Darlaston."

Ha ha. No!

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Try calling a place called c h a m s. There is one in Rugby and Coventry. Should be one near you. Call the rugby office and ask them if you can't find one near you. There is a waiting list be warned.

X

Not the one in Darlaston."

She checks, double checks & has just come in the living room to remind me to check.

Will do some online research & if it gets on top of me go to Chams in Darlaston for some relief of my angst,

Thanks all for taking the time to respond

Julie x

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days."

i bet that was a big help to the OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OCD is behaviour or compulsive thoughts usually driven by a fear (contamination, germs, harm to others) try to get her to withdraw away from the checking behaviours by reducing slowly. If this does not work, go to your GP and get her referred to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days.

i bet that was a big help to the OP "

Sorry, should I have provided an online diagnosis?

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days.

i bet that was a big help to the OP

Sorry, should I have provided an online diagnosis?"

no ..the opening line was ..does anyone have experience of this ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a chippy with ocd and he makes loads of money. If your daughter has it I think you are better off learning to live with it. Maybe try to find a job where you can use it to your advantage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can diagnose everything except normal behaviour these days.

i bet that was a big help to the OP

Sorry, should I have provided an online diagnosis?

no ..the opening line was ..does anyone have experience of this ?"

and?

My more detailed opinion is that if it were my daughter my concern would be less for her 'OCD' and more to learn why she felt insecure.

However it's not my daughter and I'd assume there is more to the situation to lead the person posing the question to ask that question..

..or that they were just seeking a more general discussion about children's behaviour, hence why they chose to pose the question on here, opposed to seeking professional guidance.

Instead I added a simpler statement that might encompass some of the above.

I hope that helps justify my contribution and puts your mind at ease.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i personally have it in certain areas ..food is a big example ..i cant have certain food types on the same plate so they have to go on separate plates ..ni then have to clear each food group in a certain order etc ...i get on my own nerves with it so god knows what other people make of it but it is something i cant change ...try and be tolerant would be my advise "
. I have this and it's getting worse!! Can't have veg touching on the plate, caused drama today ended with me in tears. New Year's Eve out for dinner a nice curry, my friends thought it funny me scraping the sauce of my meat until it was dry, I just can't help myself. I'm a big lass never had issues with food until my ex mo in law played a few sly tricks now I'm so finicky for a fat lass lol. But it is having a impact to some degree on my life.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

high 5 bumble ...i love food also but as soon as one food group touches the other it is game over for me also ..it all goes in the bin regardless of how hungry i am ...i just start cooking it again myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's genuinely an awful thing to have, trust me I have it with lots of things. Checking that the door being locked is a common one, I do that about 8 times per night. It bothers me most when it's things that I can control like stuff in my cupboard and labels all facing the same way and shoes must be paired and straight in the wardrobe. When jnr comes and stays he is just a typical 8 year old and trashes the place and it truly doesn't bother me............ Until he goes and I can have a right old clean up lol

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

omg ..i have to have all labels facing forward also ..and heinz products at the left of the cupboard ..john west in the middle ...arrgghhh !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heinz products to the left you crazy woman!!!!!!!

It's salt then pepper then stock cubes lol

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

nah stock cubes always at the right bottom cupboard ..bottom shelf ....im starting to think im mad !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe chat to a Drbefore taking her, the problem may not be now but it can esculate. I have some things that getworse and worse as I give in to them. for me it's I always have to clean cups myself, I always have to make my bed puffing the pillows 4 times, wash my hands twice or 4 times, things have a given position and place etc. but then as I give in more I start feeling ill and that something bad may happen because of the slightest things. at this point it gets harder to fight back, so now I try bite my lip and ignore some of my earges and it all starts to stop again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"nah stock cubes always at the right bottom cupboard ..bottom shelf ....im starting to think im mad !"

bottom left for me neatly in a glass jar, while I always have a spare box at the ready behind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are mad lol large pots go in the bottom cupboard xx

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

guyinyork ....does everything have to bean even number ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

YES!! odd numbers are horrible. 3 is evil!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

i can tell you when i do a big shop every rack where a product went ..what is stacked above below and to the side of it ....yet i never take any notice of it ...wierd ...it must be subliminal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i can tell you when i do a big shop every rack where a product went ..what is stacked above below and to the side of it ....yet i never take any notice of it ...wierd ...it must be subliminal "

I have terrible memory so i can't remember it that well, in my house I always know everythings place food or not food and immediately know when something has been swapped.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"YES!! odd numbers are horrible. 3 is evil! "

No threesomes for you then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"YES!! odd numbers are horrible. 3 is evil!

No threesomes for you then..."

Ahh but you see the third is me, I am visiting a pair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"omg ..i have to have all labels facing forward also ..and heinz products at the left of the cupboard ..john west in the middle ...arrgghhh !!"

If I took a picture of my cupboard, you'd be itching to sort it.

Basically if it fits in, it's in the right place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"omg ..i have to have all labels facing forward also ..and heinz products at the left of the cupboard ..john west in the middle ...arrgghhh !!

If I took a picture of my cupboard, you'd be itching to sort it.

Basically if it fits in, it's in the right place "

Aaaarrrgghhhh nooooo, I'll be round shortly to put that bad boy in order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your daughter is only 14 so she might grow out of it, hope it is just a phase. But if it isnt it might get worse. I think i have OCD but never been to my GP so dony know. It started when i was in my teens too. I know have to check my windows are closed, the taps are all off and the front door is closed before bed and before i go out it's the same but once i have closed the front door i will stand and check it's closed over and over even though i know it is it's just a compultion to keep checking. But i do hope it is just a phase she is going through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"omg ..i have to have all labels facing forward also ..and heinz products at the left of the cupboard ..john west in the middle ...arrgghhh !!

If I took a picture of my cupboard, you'd be itching to sort it.

Basically if it fits in, it's in the right place

Aaaarrrgghhhh nooooo, I'll be round shortly to put that bad boy in order"

Alrighty. I'm Just read so I'll be up for a while

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon


"omg ..i have to have all labels facing forward also ..and heinz products at the left of the cupboard ..john west in the middle ...arrgghhh !!

If I took a picture of my cupboard, you'd be itching to sort it.

Basically if it fits in, it's in the right place

Aaaarrrgghhhh nooooo, I'll be round shortly to put that bad boy in order"

Maybe you should change your name to Monica

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x"

Look up EFT = Emotional Freedom Technique. It is perfect for OCD. Just make sure anybody you choose to help you has good experience. Don't be afraid to ask them about their experience of helping people with OCD.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"YES!! odd numbers are horrible. 3 is evil! "

I'm the opposite, everything has to be odd numbers or I can't settle!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

to be a pedant it should be cdo

try ADDERS dot org lots of help for people with any type of autistic diagnosis ocd comes up alot on there

was a massive help with my now 20yo son through his difficult school years

good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x"

Why is it a problem to you, OCD usually starts with a traumatic incident, it could be insecurities about your separation, the fear that she may lose you to someone else.

Maybe its because you are meeting strangers, and she is worried for your safety. Children do pick up their parents insecurities, so I would say its not particularly OCD, she just wants to feel safe and secure, and for her mother to be safe.

So to address it, if you see it as a problem, is to look at why she feels insecure, and see if you can make some changes to re assure her that you are not leaving, and are as safe as you can be.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Has your daughter been given a diagnosis of ocd? If not I think the best thing you can do for her is to speak to someone qualified in these matters, with the best will in the world other peoples circumstances will be different to hers and possibly not helpful in the long run. My general opinion is that seeking advice on possible professional help on these forums is fine and you've been pointed in the direction of a couple of agencies but please don't make your mind up that she has a particular problem and label her with that, she's only 14.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From reading it doesn't sound like ocd but I think it could be she is anxious about losing one of her parents.

I am guessing you have separated from her dad so you are all she's got (in her mind) so she is worrying if something happens to you, losing you as she has lost one parent albeit through separation.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x

Why is it a problem to you, OCD usually starts with a traumatic incident, it could be insecurities about your separation, the fear that she may lose you to someone else.

Maybe its because you are meeting strangers, and she is worried for your safety. Children do pick up their parents insecurities, so I would say its not particularly OCD, she just wants to feel safe and secure, and for her mother to be safe.

So to address it, if you see it as a problem, is to look at why she feels insecure, and see if you can make some changes to re assure her that you are not leaving, and are as safe as you can be."

My daughter knows nothing of me meeting strangers so that's not an issue.

I sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your help & practical advice.

To the lady that went a little farther to berate me via message for asking such a question on a sex site (the last place my daughter would see it), I wanted to reply to your bad parenting comment however you blocked me very cowardly before I could respond.

So although I want to say balls you know Jack about me, I won't as although a swinger I am also a lady!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x"

Be a resposible parent and don't put her in the situation of going to bed on her own? She is still a child after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read all the posts so apologies if someone has already said this, but.....

Get her a boyfriend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OCD is behaviour or compulsive thoughts usually driven by a fear (contamination, germs, harm to others) try to get her to withdraw away from the checking behaviours by reducing slowly. If this does not work, go to your GP and get her referred to CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service) "

Just realised my mistake! Camhs is the one you want not chams. I must subconsciously have sex on the brain. Of course like you said darleston sounds good for any frustrations you have.

X

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 13/01/14 18:11:19]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

I haven't read all the posts so apologies if someone has already said this, but.....

Get her a boyfriend?"

Seriously?

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x

Be a resposible parent and don't put her in the situation of going to bed on her own? She is still a child after all "

Whoa! She is 15 in July. What the heck makes you think she wants me to put her to bed? If she wants me to take her it's not an issue. I have 3 kids who are ranging in age from 14-26. All have good manners, respect for elders and know that to get anything in life you need to get off your ass and earn it. Just like I do. Call me defensive but don't question my parenting because I allow an intelligent, articulate 14yr old the privacy of taking herself to bed

Julie

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x

Be a resposible parent and don't put her in the situation of going to bed on her own? She is still a child after all

Whoa! She is 15 in July. What the heck makes you think she wants me to put her to bed? If she wants me to take her it's not an issue. I have 3 kids who are ranging in age from 14-26. All have good manners, respect for elders and know that to get anything in life you need to get off your ass and earn it. Just like I do. Call me defensive but don't question my parenting because I allow an intelligent, articulate 14yr old the privacy of taking herself to bed

Julie"

I agree, I was more than capable of staying home and going to bed if my parents went out when I was 14. Chance would have been a fine thing with three younger brothers but from the age of 11 I looked after all of them if my parents went out and when my mother was in hospital I cared for them entirely for two weeks at that age so looking after myself for an evening was no problem.

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By *D40 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Anyone have experience of dealing with OCD?

My 14yr old is OCD about house security. Every night it's the same thing. Checking the door & cookers off. If I go out she won't go to bed till am home. If she stops at her dads she makes me text to let her know I'm home safe n locked up. Don't understand as we have never had burglary, fire or any kind of drama.

How to address it? Any ideas?

Julie x

Be a resposible parent and don't put her in the situation of going to bed on her own? She is still a child after all

Whoa! She is 15 in July. What the heck makes you think she wants me to put her to bed? If she wants me to take her it's not an issue. I have 3 kids who are ranging in age from 14-26. All have good manners, respect for elders and know that to get anything in life you need to get off your ass and earn it. Just like I do. Call me defensive but don't question my parenting because I allow an intelligent, articulate 14yr old the privacy of taking herself to bed

Julie

I agree, I was more than capable of staying home and going to bed if my parents went out when I was 14. Chance would have been a fine thing with three younger brothers but from the age of 11 I looked after all of them if my parents went out and when my mother was in hospital I cared for them entirely for two weeks at that age so looking after myself for an evening was no problem. "

Thank you. She won't go to bed till I get in. A lot of the time it's suitable for her to come (we don't go out very often when she is at home) but most times shed rather spend the night with the Sky remote all to herself lol. There is only so much Glee I can watch and retain sanity lol

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