FabSwingers.com forum: Scars

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've very recently had an operation for breast cancer. I am now left with a large, lumpy scar across the front of my breast. It has also left it very much smaller than the other breast.

I do enjoy swinging and have made some lovely friends on here, but should I remain on here. I just keep thinking that nobody would want to go with me again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scars are not an issue never have been,the hidden profile may be an issue in trying to arrange meets x debbie x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you Debbie. I've only hidden my profile since the operation while I decide whether I should stay on here or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scars tell a story and shouldn't hold you back from living your life x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your happy with swinging in your life then stay.if people have issues with scars etc thats there issues they need to address.maybe they should look in a mirror an see how perfect they are...not:-/ x good luck in what you decide to do xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what's best for you! And stay around and use the site in which ever way you like. There's quite a few on here who use fab just for the forums and the support they receive X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do what's best for you! And stay around and use the site in which ever way you like. There's quite a few on here who use fab just for the forums and the support they receive X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's been a few threads on scars and most people really don't care about them. Do what's best for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scars were discussed in depth a while back and the general consensus is that they are neither bad nor good - people aren't bothered by scars. As for one boob being smaller the other, that's common for loads of women. Being sexy/attractive is as much to do with confidence as it is anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all I hope you're ok and recovering well from your surgery

Secondly, I think that most people would completely understand what you've been through and not be bothered by your scars. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have lost my confidence.

Should I make my profile public again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not? Take your time to chat to people amd see how you feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can empathise with you losing your confidence, I know I rely on my boobs for much of my confidence and can't imagine how I would feel in the same position. I have a big scar on my belly from a life saving operation and when people ask about it it just reminds me that I could either have the scar or not be here...i'm sure it's not much consolation but maybe that might help you get things in perspective and start enjoying the good things in life again. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you to all who have replied. Your building up my confidence already. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scars are part of your life story. I'm sorry you've been ill, celebrate your recovery. Live life to the full.

I personally wouldn't reject anyone due to a scar. How shallow is that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be honest, it's because the scar is across my breast, just above the nipple. It's still early days for me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suggest that in your profile you say you have had these ops and have scars. Put a boob pic up if you feel confident enough. Then you will meet people who, like us, are not at all bothered. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's early days for you, once your confidence has returned, it will, you'll be able to decide what you want to do. Any one that only sees a scar is not worth your time.

Keep well xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suggest that in your profile you say you have had these ops and have scars. Put a boob pic up if you feel confident enough. Then you will meet people who, like us, are not at all bothered. Good luck!

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why? "

Because nobody is perfect and we should celebrate who we are and our bodys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should be accepted for who you are, if you are ridiculed for your scar, it is an unitelligent attitude towards your health and breast cancer.

Wishing you better.

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've very recently had an operation for breast cancer. I am now left with a large, lumpy scar across the front of my breast. It has also left it very much smaller than the other breast.

I do enjoy swinging and have made some lovely friends on here, but should I remain on here. I just keep thinking that nobody would want to go with me again.

I felt the same as you at first, but everyone bar one dickhead has been lovely quite a few quite like it and most people seem to end up absent mindedly playing with it while we're chilling out watching the TV lol.

trust me no one worth meeting will bat an eye lid

Have a look on my profile if you want to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why?

Because nobody is perfect and we should celebrate who we are and our bodys

but then she risks meeting someone who it does bother and that would be unpleasant and embarrassing in person. Its best for people to know before your face to face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scars tell a story and shouldn't hold you back from living your life x"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay on just state your on a break x

This sote kept me going when i went threw bad time also. I didnt meet for a while but now im well i am and a scarred tum dont bother women i meet.

Enjoy, be confident!! Your amazing!! And alive!! Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why?

Because nobody is perfect and we should celebrate who we are and our bodys

but then she risks meeting someone who it does bother and that would be unpleasant and embarrassing in person. Its best for people to know before your face to face"

I know where your coming from and if and when someone is going to be getting intimate. Then it can be talked about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scars tell a story and shouldn't hold you back from living your life x"

Out of curiosity would you meet someone with self harm scars or would that be a "story" that would put you off ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad that you're well now Hun, must've been a scary time for you! It's normal to have your confidence knocked after something so serious but it's a step in the right direction to be talking about it

I have some pretty big scars from life saving surgery and obvious ones too, but it's never once been an issue while I've played, in fact it's often a good conversation starter. But as someone else said, id rather have the scars than not be here!

Take your time and do things when it feels right. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why? "

Yes - why? If you put other descriptions of yourself in your profile then why hide this. It avoids any embarrassment at actual meets.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Do a forum search this comes up a lot. I doubt it'll put many off but low self esteem may as few of us have supermodel perfect bodies but seek fun playmates confident in themselves.

You've been through the worst, rejoice, and best of luck with your recovery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree about putting it on her profile.

Can I ask why?

Because nobody is perfect and we should celebrate who we are and our bodys

but then she risks meeting someone who it does bother and that would be unpleasant and embarrassing in person. Its best for people to know before your face to face

I know where your coming from and if and when someone is going to be getting intimate. Then it can be talked about.

But then you still have issue of them.going "oh actually no I don't want to see you because of that" which knocks your confidence if its on the profile people can make there minds up before.it becomes personal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway this thread isn't asking about profile advice. Its about weather a lady should meet or not and I say a big fat YES

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have met someone with self harm scars a few times. It doesn't bother me at all if someone has scars. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for a lovely message.

I cannot believe all the positive feedback I'm getting from this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have met someone with self harm scars a few times. It doesn't bother me at all if someone has scars. X

Me either and I have quite a few scars too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't send a pm (to young or old it seems :p) but bio oil does help if its still relatively new, at the very least it speeds up the colour change snack to skin coloured.

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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

The best thing you can do is keep your profile hidden and move to next door to us in Herts. Then we can have you all to ourselves !

Big kiss for you darling X

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Thirdbear I tried to pm you about this, if you'd like to chat either message or wink me.

I have a scar which is bigger and probably more dramatic than yours and I also have other appearance changes due to ill health. All is going really well and I'm getting back to myself and back to full health.

However, I do feel it's important to let my meets know the changes and to give them the option of bowing out gracefully. I have a brief paragraph in my profile which I refer them to if we have been messaging, then I send them a message describing all the changes. I make it clear that I will not be offended if they say no thanks.

Only a handful of guys have said no, a few are medically squeamish, some find it reminds them of someone they cared about going through something similar and some simply find it a bit too real life for fantasy fun.

But I'm still getting a lot of attention from some very lovely and sexy people - I've had two meets this week! So try to nit let it get your confidence down.

Men are often simple creatures, even the sophisticated, cosmopolitan ones still revert to being like a teenager when a woman is willing to take her clothes off with them. They just get so "omg naked woman and she's going to let me touch her!"

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only imagine how much it has knocked you back. All I can say is confidence can be rebuilt with the right people around you be it on here or personal life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/14 09:34:23]

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Scars are just natures way of letting you know you are alive. Never, ever, let a scar or anything else put you off being you. Stay on the site, make the most of life. If some fool turns you down due to it, then it says more about them than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thirdbear I tried to pm you about this, if you'd like to chat either message or wink me.

But I'm still getting a lot of attention from some very lovely and sexy people - I've had two meets this week! So try to nit let it get your confidence down.

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about. "

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By *s louWoman
over a year ago

Enniskillen

"I can empathise with you losing your confidence, I know I rely on my boobs for much of my confidence and can't imagine how I would feel in the same position. I have a big scar on my belly from a life saving operation and when people ask about it it just reminds me that I could either have the scar or not be here...i'm sure it's not much consolation but maybe that might help you get things in perspective and start enjoying the good things in life again. X"

Same here - I've got a scar from under my ribs to just above my pubic bone after an op to remove cancer. I used to be conscious of it but no-one has ever mentioned it to me. Now I just see it as a reminder I fought a battle and won!! If you're not sure, why not stay on the site for a while and just keep in contact with people for a while? Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about. "

Any holes a goal type of guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thirdbear I tried to pm you about this, if you'd like to chat either message or wink me.

But I'm still getting a lot of attention from some very lovely and sexy people - I've had two meets this week! So try to nit let it get your confidence down.

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about. "

Not even a teenager I'm just like a child trying to put an oddly shaped object in to her box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi we read this thread and hope that your recovery is going as well as it can, we both have scars mine from a fire that at one point nearly broke me mentally, lucky for me I had Jayne to drag me kicking and screaming back to life again and three years on there is very little evidence of what happened. I guess my point is that scars are just a part of your map of life so although things like this knock you for six hang in there and stay, in the darkest of times as this thread shows there are some fantastic folk on here who are very supportive. Also this may or may not help but there was a program running in the USA that I recently read about called p.ink.org that I felt was pretty inspirational I'm not saying it's an answer for every one but from a confidence point of view it could be.

Sorry to have rambled on a bit and I hope it made some sense.

We send you all the luck we can spare on your recovery

Chris and Jayne

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about.

Any holes a goal type of guys?"

Nope.

In my experience most men are quite simple (as in straightforward) when it comes to sex.

As I said "if they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about". I'm in no way suggesting that anyone should get naked just because someone shows an interest. But if mutual attraction is there then it's time to stop panicking about scars and flab and just trust in the attraction.

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"I've very recently had an operation for breast cancer. I am now left with a large, lumpy scar across the front of my breast. It has also left it very much smaller than the other breast.

I do enjoy swinging and have made some lovely friends on here, but should I remain on here. I just keep thinking that nobody would want to go with me again.

We were told Carol had Breast Cancer in June 2010 and had to have a Mastectomy on her right Breast.

We still play thanks to some very good friends of ours after Carol had her Mastectomy which give Carol her confidences back.

We know it will put some people off meeting up with us but we believe it is only right that people know the truth then they can make up there own minds if they would like to meet us or not.

SO DON'T MISS YOUR MAMMOGRAM WHEN THEY SEND FOR YOU.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say people who know you well a scar wont bother them ,especially as they know how you came to get it.

why not just mention it when you arrange as meet, those that decline you are not your friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just had major abdominal surgery & now have a stoma & wear a bag or a plug all the time, I also have a large unsightly scar on my stomach. I'm determined to carry on the lifestyle & so far everyone has been just the same with me & I still meet & have naughty fun. I only lost one fb who couldn't cope & my thinking is its his loss. I'm not ashamed of it & I'm not going to hide it, it is a part of who I am now & the genuine people will see us for who we are.

Carry on swinging & fuck the shallow people x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah scars would not be an issue as they are part of you and the journey you have taken. Like someone said earlier you really need to make the choice as to whats suits you as you have been through a lot recently so get yourself better and I hope 2014 is a better year all round for you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your lovely messages, I've now put my profile public again. Just need to adjust what's written on there.

THANK YOU EVERYONE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i worried about scars.....i wouldnt have never joined at all and never met some lovely fellas and had lots of fun.

And im awaiting further surgery so yet another big scar....

Most people dont give a rats ass , so go get um

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By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

"I've very recently had an operation for breast cancer. I am now left with a large, lumpy scar across the front of my breast. It has also left it very much smaller than the other breast.

I do enjoy swinging and have made some lovely friends on here, but should I remain on here. I just keep thinking that nobody would want to go with me again.

Hey you keep at it girl !!!

I've got a scar due to Caesarian I never give it a second thought !

U keep enjoying yourself xxxx

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By *ebsCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Orpington/london

"To be honest, it's because the scar is across my breast, just above the nipple. It's still early days for me though. "

if you get plenty of sunlight to the scar and use oils for stretch marks it'll help the scar fade over time (won't completely get rid of it)

you can also get very good make up designed to help cover scars but as everyone has said its now part of what makes you you. The story of your life and surviving a lift threatening condition. Life always leaves you with scars whether physically or mentally.

If anyone has an issue then sod them, their not worth knowing.

Xxxx

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Frisky had breast cancer about 4 years ago. She now has an anchor shaped scar on her right breast and a lazy s scar under her armpit. We have found a few people are interested but so far no one has been put off...

Just take things at a pace you are happy with and you will be fine...

Well done to you and everyone else for winning their battles...

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By *aravancoupleMan
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"Thirdbear I tried to pm you about this, if you'd like to chat either message or wink me.

But I'm still getting a lot of attention from some very lovely and sexy people - I've had two meets this week! So try to nit let it get your confidence down.

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I say if look are all they are after then you better off without t people like that. It does not bother me at all. I used to date a lady with a big scar down her left side was not a problem for me at all.

I say keep swinging and having fun you a beautiful lady I still go with you.

Hope you feeling better soon and it does not come back lot of kisses for you. xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A persons body parts don't define them as a person, I have never yet met a man who has two balls the same size, one is usually bigger, so don't let a bit of you stop you enjoying your life...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.

No apologies, no excuses,

No one lean on, rely on, or blame.

The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.

This is the day your life really begins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they find something about you attractive then they don't even notice all the lumps and bumps us women worry about.

Any holes a goal type of guys?"

From the people that brought you "All men are bastards."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've very recently had an operation for breast cancer. I am now left with a large, lumpy scar across the front of my breast. It has also left it very much smaller than the other breast.

I do enjoy swinging and have made some lovely friends on here, but should I remain on here. I just keep thinking that nobody would want to go with me again.

I've got a scar on my face know it not the same but if your comfortable with what you wanna do and look like then stay and enjoy yourself people who don't wanna meet well there loss

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Where your scar with pride. You kicked breast cancers butt and lived to tell the tale! That is courage in itself. You didn't let it beat you so why let the scar beat you. Take it and use it as empowerment that it takes your story, a courageous and positive one. Happy swinging you deserve fun on here just as much as anyone on here.

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