FabSwingers.com forum: Worrying about kids

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My youngest son has just turned 5,he missed the first two weeks of school through illness and I think this is the reason he hasn't fitted in well. He doesn't complain about not having any friends but my best friend works in a nursing home opposite the playground and watches him play on his own every breaktime she says he looks like he enjoys playing on his own but it's worrying me that he has no friends. I've noticed that hardly any of the other kids say good morning to him etc. At parents evening his teacher didn't voice concerns but I can't help thinking he's gonna end up lonely and end up being picked on. He's mentioned only once before that other children don't like him which just discarded because he says things that aren't true occasionally (like telling his teacher I'm pregnant and it's my birthday) and he's such a loving little boy I just didn't believe it. I don't know of I should speak to his teacher and tell him I'm worried and see if he can get him and his class mates interacting more or whether to just speak to my son about it and see if it bothers him? I might be paranoid but I'm quite upset at the thought of him being Billy no mates

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I wouldn't worry about it. If it were happening when he was older, say 7 or 8 it might be a concern. At 5 kids don't really have the ability to socialise it's more pot luck and someone follows someone else. Sometimes they don't even know they are playing together!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hope it's that. My friend reassures me that he's happy, she wouldn't lie so I guess I'll just have a chat with him. It's weird because his brother is 7 and he's always been really popular, maybe I'm comparing them too much x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tell his teacher and she will get him some Friends. At my Daughter school they have a friend Bench if children feel Lonely they Sit on it. Remember his teacher Probably doesnt often do play ground duty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a teacher, I get many parents concerned about their children fitting in. If he was in my class and you came to me with your concerns I would gladly keep an eye on him for you and maybe send home a diary of his activities, listing who he had played with etc, I hope that this would reassure you that he wasn't on his own all day.

if you do have concerns then talk to the teacher, that's what we are there for xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"tell his teacher and she will get him some Friends. At my Daughter school they have a friend Bench if children feel Lonely they Sit on it. Remember his teacher Probably doesnt often do play ground duty"

His teacher is newly qualified, this is his first class. He's off on 6 weeks placement to compete his training but he has the same teacher he has when he was in nursery, she's lovely and he really likes her. I might just mention it see what she says

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"as a teacher, I get many parents concerned about their children fitting in. If he was in my class and you came to me with your concerns I would gladly keep an eye on him for you and maybe send home a diary of his activities, listing who he had played with etc, I hope that this would reassure you that he wasn't on his own all day.

if you do have concerns then talk to the teacher, that's what we are there for xx"

Thankyou xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you do have concerns then talk to the teacher, that's what we are there for xx

Thankyou xx"

your welcome, hope I helped x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

Bas thé school not hot a buddy system where in older children aré pronounced buddies and are there helo children find friends abd pay with them ect? If not you should suggest the idea to the school

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" I don't know of I should speak to his teacher and tell him I'm worried

I would , it may be he likes playing by himself but if you mention it to the teacher he/she will keep an eye out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"tell his teacher and she will get him some Friends. At my Daughter school they have a friend Bench if children feel Lonely they Sit on it. "

That is a great idea

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might be worth sussing out others and getting them together out of school for tea/play etc.

Should be ok in time so try not to worry too much...good luck with it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Does the school do a friendship day?

We worried about one of the kids for a while, the school even commented that he didn't seem to be making friends. He didn't feel he needed any more friends as he had some outside of school. Interestingly, he was voted the child everyone wanted as their friend.

He developed close friendships with a handful of other children but was friendly and popular with everyone.

Your son may be biding his time and deciding who he would like to befriend.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vs youngest found it hard to make friends at school too, right up til he was 9.

he is 11 now and kids dont stop knocking for him.

give him time for his personality to win through.

he will be fine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

My now 28 years old handsome, articulate, high flying son, did not EVER play at play times from he day he started school to the day he finished.

He was quite happy in his own company and busied himself with helping the teachers or whatever else took his fancy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd only be worried if he were being excluded from any birthday parties

There seem to be a lot going on for the first few years at school, and nearly all the class get invited.

Is only later on that parties get smaller and more exclusive as firm friendships are developed.

Have you ever invited any classmates over for a play day or tea ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is perfect normal. My eldest struggled probably for the first couple of years and spent most playtimes by himself but now his teachers always comment that he is a popular member of the class and has made some good friends. My youngest is in year 1 and although seemed ok last year, seems to be alone most playtimes this year. I'm sure things will be fine, but you can't help but be concerned.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your comments. I think I'm making it out to more of an issue than it is, he seems happy so all the time he's happy I'm happy for him x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd only be worried if he were being excluded from any birthday parties

There seem to be a lot going on for the first few years at school, and nearly all the class get invited.

Is only later on that parties get smaller and more exclusive as firm friendships are developed.

Have you ever invited any classmates over for a play day or tea ?

Ask him to invite a friend round for tea.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

The teaching and support staff want your son to be happy. If you are worried go in and speak with the staff. Go in and be honest. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having a child sounds terrifying with all the negative things that exist in the world.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

i expect he ll fit in soon enough .. he wont be the odd one out for long .. good luck .. if you feel there is a problem see his teacher

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread