FabSwingers.com forum: change of mind

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it so bad that after chatting for a while to have a change of mind about a meeting?

I have been chatting to a guy on here for a few weeks now & was all prepared to arange a meet.

Then something he said in a message jogged old memories & I had a change of mind about the meet.

Now he is saying - 'why is it always the woman who decides to be adult' & that I am a 'cock teaser'

I'm not just using my right to change my mind.

Then he picked me up on a spelling error lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it isn't bad - no one should feel under any pressure to go to a meet.

No matter why, when or how - if it doesn't feel right - don't go

And further more - don't worry about it, if the other person has an once of decency, he/she will understand

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it so bad that after chatting for a while to have a change of mind about a meeting?

I have been chatting to a guy on here for a few weeks now & was all prepared to arange a meet.

Then something he said in a message jogged old memories & I had a change of mind about the meet.

Now he is saying - 'why is it always the woman who decides to be adult' & that I am a 'cock teaser'

I'm not just using my right to change my mind.

Then he picked me up on a spelling error lol.

tell him to "jog on" and meet some of the very nice men on here instead, I can't be arsed with tossers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he turned into a knob just proves you were right to change your mind...

No one has the right to a meet... even if during a meet you changed your mind... so what.

Tell him to go pick his toys back up before an adult comes along and treads on em...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I have told people in the past that if during chatting and arranging a meet if there is any tiny detail that makes me think twice then a meet won't happen

We're not here to do anything that we don't feel comfortable with,so take no notice of what he says and just follow your instincts.....they will very rarrely be wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have told people in the past that if during chatting and arranging a meet if there is any tiny detail that makes me think twice then a meet won't happen

We're not here to do anything that we don't feel comfortable with,so take no notice of what he says and just follow your instincts.....they will very rarrely be wrong

"
Here here - As you "get to know" someone through messageing, chatting etc. your opinion of them changes - sometimes for better, sometimes worse. What started out as a "wow he's/she's gorgeous" may well turn into "actually I don't think we'd get on" so yes, anyone can change their mind at any point and shouldn't worry about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you made the right choice in the end. He sounds like a bit of a cock.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like you made the right choice in the end. He sounds like a bit of a cock."

Yeah.. the unwashed kind though lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine it can be frustrating after weeks of good conversation one is suddenly told no, so just ignore his pettiness, he probably feels all wounded like us men can at times :D

If you don't want to meet him, then don't, it's your prerogative, if he goes anymore than spitting his dummy out, like gets abusive then report him.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

I had an incident a few weeks ago where a charming guy turned into a nightmare because I wouldn't meet straight away.

Turned out the guy was abusive to other women, was reported and blocked.

Go with your instinct, we women are rarely wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebzStarWoman
over a year ago

Notting

This is so very true!!!

I had convo with a guy for a while, then one day accidently deleted and moved to next message as was plowing through my days supply.

Next minute i get an abusive message saying i was a rude ignorant twat and that he was gonna meet me one day and tell me to my face (the polite version)

All i can think is THANK GOD i didnt meet him - if he was that abusive after me deleting one message - what if i had gone on a meet and decided we didnt click - doesnt ber thinking about - go with your instints - they are there for a reason.

AND DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT!!!

enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh my God, just had another message from the tosser I was talking about in my first thread. He was so abusive! I have blocked him from contacting me & reported him.

I am so glad I did not meet him - the male version of a Bunny Boiler!!

I wish I could name & shame him so that other women would not contact him.

Ladies beware of who you chat too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His personality will show through with others just be happy you learnt before the meet.

This is why we like to chat a while before meeting, first chat appearances can be kept up over a couple of conversations but eventually the true person appears and then you have all the facts to base a meet on or not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

No hunni u have made the right desision

this has happened to me a few times u think the person is ok then they say someting that makes u have second thoughts and one thing i have learned is always go with ur gut instincts if something doesnt feel right then just avoid xxxxx

luv jacs

xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has happened to me a few times where the woman has come on really strong saying how she would like me to do this and would do that to me e.c.t. but right at the last minuet backed out LoL.

Nothing else for it but to just leave it be and get on with meeting someone else

and forget that one as a dead loss LoL

Life is like that and peeps can be fickle sometimes but life goes on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"It has happened to me a few times where the woman has come on really strong saying how she would like me to do this and would do that to me e.c.t. but right at the last minuet backed out LoL.

Nothing else for it but to just leave it be and get on with meeting someone else

and forget that one as a dead loss LoL

Life is like that and peeps can be fickle sometimes but life goes on.

Changing your mind about considering meeting someone doesn't make you a "dead loss"

In our case we never say we will meet someone unless we are sure we are going to, BUT if at the very last minute something put us off him, or we met and something put us off him, we wouldn't go through with it and would have no hesitation in saying so.

Everyone has to be comfortable , if a person isn't, say so.

To be called a "dead loss" for saying no, isn't the right attitude on a NSA sex site.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now i am getting confused!

Over the months I have read many threads/comments from people who state how frustrating it was to have been chatting to someone for awhile, and who were in the stages of arranging a meet with them when that other person disappears or changes their mind which is really annoying. Now I read a thread saying it’s ok to change your mind and everyone has the choice and right to do these exact things lol. As I said I’m so confused…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

loads of great advice and thoughts in this thread ..dont want to repeat em just say i totally agree...no is no babe no matter when.

pd x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You wouldn't get that from us Gothica. We go along the lines of yes, it must be frustrating not to get a meet if you really fancied it with that person, but there is no way anything is set in gold on sites like this.

But then we don't do ping pong mails or drawn out chats for weeks.

If we want to meet someone we have normally made our minds up after a first chat on MSN, second chat max.......so people would know pretty fast wether we want to meet them or not.

I still stand by, even if we decided to meet someone, we could still change our mind right up to the last minute, and the same goes for the person we are meeting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You wouldn't get that from us Gothica. We go along the lines of yes, it must be frustrating not to get a meet if you really fancied it with that person, but there is no way anything is set in gold on sites like this.

But then we don't do ping pong mails or drawn out chats for weeks.

If we want to meet someone we have normally made our minds up after a first chat on MSN, second chat max.......so people would know pretty fast wether we want to meet them or not.

I still stand by, even if we decided to meet someone, we could still change our mind right up to the last minute, and the same goes for the person we are meeting."

I just want to point out i'm not having a go at anyone! I just thought it amusing to see how the views of certain issues can suddenly be turned on their heads!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But then we don't do ping pong mails or drawn out chats for weeks.

If we want to meet someone we have normally made our minds up after a first chat on MSN, second chat max.......so people would know pretty fast wether we want to meet them or not.

I still stand by, even if we decided to meet someone, we could still change our mind right up to the last minute, and the same goes for the person we are meeting.

I just want to point out i'm not having a go at anyone! I just thought it amusing to see how the views of certain issues can suddenly be turned on their heads! "

But you must be referring to certain people so it is having a go.

What are you views then? Do you think if people change their mind they are a dead loss, prick teaser?

If you do does it depend on how long you have been talking with them?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But then we don't do ping pong mails or drawn out chats for weeks.

If we want to meet someone we have normally made our minds up after a first chat on MSN, second chat max.......so people would know pretty fast wether we want to meet them or not.

I still stand by, even if we decided to meet someone, we could still change our mind right up to the last minute, and the same goes for the person we are meeting.

I just want to point out i'm not having a go at anyone! I just thought it amusing to see how the views of certain issues can suddenly be turned on their heads!

But you must be referring to certain people so it is having a go.

What are you views then? Do you think if people change their mind they are a dead loss, prick teaser?

If you do does it depend on how long you have been talking with them? "

In my personal view i believe people have the right to do whatever they want. And that includes not wanting to continue a chat or even meet up with someone.

I was making a light hearted comment thats all. I just find it amusing that one week the comments can be along the lines of saying 'we were talking to this guy/couple/woman for ages then they just disappeared - ffs why is there so many timewasters on this site' etc. But then the next week a comment can be made where people are all saying it's perfectly fine to do the exact thing they said was bad the week before!

I'm not referring to anyone in particular, it just seems to be something that happens on here sometimes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ah I see, yes, have seen that happen too and if I was to make a comment it wouldn't be a light hearted one

Glad to see you have the right attitude though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It has happened to me a few times where the woman has come on really strong saying how she would like me to do this and would do that to me e.c.t. but right at the last minuet backed out LoL.

Nothing else for it but to just leave it be and get on with meeting someone else

and forget that one as a dead loss LoL

Life is like that and peeps can be fickle sometimes but life goes on.

Changing your mind about considering meeting someone doesn't make you a "dead loss"

Everyone has to be comfortable , if a person isn't, say so.

To be called a "dead loss" for saying no, isn't the right attitude on a NSA sex site."

maybe Dead loss is too strong a word for it and I do apologise for any offence

But what I mean is that if someone has a certain criteria for who they will or not meet they should stick to it and not even arrange a meet or even meet someone who is not going to be what they are seeking.

Not having a go and sometimes it's hard to get a meaning across without getting misunderstood.

But if say your bottom line is that you do not ever play with attached alone then surely it would be unfair to carry on with a plane to meet up with the intention of leading another party on with the slightest insinuation of something that is not going to be?

JMHO

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think you mean if someone was misleading you by pretending to change their preferences?

If they have no intention of meeting you , then yes, to pretend to want to and then let you down would be a bad thing.

But, on the other hand, I suppose if you are willing to chat with that person knowing you are not normally what they are looking for, then there has to a be a chance they will say no to you......and there is were I think people should take any conversation with anyone as a "maybe" get a meet out of it....but not to be too peed off if you don't.

Us, we don't chat to anyone unless they fit what we are after.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

was gona post but i just dont fancy it and changed my mind...see ya

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *DSRMan
over a year ago

leicester

I think the female/couple (in my situation at least) have all of the power and control... & the longer we talk the more control you give me; So, when that power is taken away (men are all power hungry) I feel it can be slightly ARGGGG... That said I personally don't take things seriously anymore on sites; I feel the best thing to do is think; She says she will meet, but it is only how she feels today and feelings tend to come and go in a split second; so, it's not a bean and I don't expect a meet up until it happens...

I think you are free to change your mind at any point, but I do think allot of men take things very seriously so it is best to not say those things unless you really are thinking clear and it is not a sudden impulse thing.

But like I said; A meet or not I am not really all that bothered personally; Most of my friends from my old site - we never talk about meeting up things are too happy as friends... While some of them are the opposite and we are waiting for me to finish uni; & then meet, but they can pull out; It might make the conversations difficult(ish) but I know there is a connection with us; So if possible they can easily become friends I just type too.

peace xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your at Uni??

Wow... were fooked! pmsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"was gona post but i just dont fancy it and changed my mind...see ya

Just stick to what yer best at... show us ya bum girl Mwah xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *DSRMan
over a year ago

leicester

"Your at Uni??

Wow... were fooked! pmsl"

That's what the entire E.U bar said to me last weekend

pmsl xxx

hehe xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol @ fussier

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on both sides of the story on more than a few occasions.

Responded to messages from guys - chatted and thought it was going really well and then, talked about meeting - they've seemed really keen and next minite they've just disappeared!!

And on the other hand .. responded to messages from guys - got chatting and thought actually its not really for me.

How can you tell if you've not chatted???

Estee xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread