FabSwingers.com forum: The Fab Bad Single Male Profile Guide

By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

There are about 5 improve my profile threads running at the mo. 3 of which may need FORUM INSURANCE.

So what makes a bad profile?

1 tip at a time, so we don't overload anyone.

My tip, don't include pics of a girl playing with you, unless you can see more of you than of her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Will fill this out later - after all no-one reads it anyway.

Oh you silly silly boys who have this on their profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A million other single bloke profiles on here wanting the same thing. Be Original with both pictures and profile to stand out a bit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text speak.... But that's not just single men!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I might need to shorten mine. It's like i'm doing a dissertation again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

45 Public Photos - All of which are cock shots from the same 'flattering' angle

I also think this post may need forum insurance from the 'stop picking on single men' brigade

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are about 5 improve my profile threads running at the mo. 3 of which may need FORUM INSURANCE.

So what makes a bad profile?

1 tip at a time, so we don't overload anyone.

My tip, don't include pics of a girl playing with you, unless you can see more of you than of her. "

Totally agree why would I want to see just some guys fingers in a foo foo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blatant copy & paste messages:

Hey (insert name here) Wow your pictures look amazing! So when are we meeting? I'd love to fuck you. I've attached some recent (cock) pics for you. Look forward to hearing back from you! Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hide cock pics only show if they ask for them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I don't like it when they make no mention of their feelings toward cheese.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Looking for fun'

Aren't we all?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like it when they make no mention of their feelings toward cheese."

Stinking Bishop!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

coming across as a neanderthal.

women seem to like a bit of rough and ready, not a little hit over the head and dragged back to the cave.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Let's not forget the huge long fantasy profile!

I meet you at the door and...

Even worse when it's cut and pasted into a message that begins with "what would you say if" then you check out the profile and there it all is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I don't like it when they make no mention of their feelings toward cheese.

Stinking Bishop!

Who the fuck told you!?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"coming across as a neanderthal.

women seem to like a bit of rough and ready, not a little hit over the head and dragged back to the cave."

Bam Bam

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like it when they make no mention of their feelings toward cheese.

Stinking Bishop!

Who the fuck told you!?

I am a spy and I know everything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Currently snapchatting a selection of Krispykremes as we speak.

(Rubs hands together and blows the dust off his double ended dong)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Will the mini chocolate doughnuts have the same effect?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Looking for fun'

Aren't we all?"

Thought I'd better change mine after reading that lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

my top tip is always ask yourself ' if you can't get a shag on a swingers site'...... you is truly doomed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Will the mini chocolate doughnuts have the same effect?

Just don't let on they're mini!

*seems to work with those mini sky remotes and 'dubious' tape measures!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Will the mini chocolate doughnuts have the same effect?

Just don't let on they're mini!

*seems to work with those mini sky remotes and 'dubious' tape measures!

Lol, don't forget the mini beer cans!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try to come across as a little selective, even if in real life you really do live by 'any hole is a goal' its not a good look

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone say donuts ? X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

Will the mini chocolate doughnuts have the same effect?

Just don't let on they're mini!

*seems to work with those mini sky remotes and 'dubious' tape measures!

Lol, don't forget the mini beer cans!"

I'd try and hide the packaging then. There's always something in the background.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...and how comes you guys are spelling doughnuts as donuts? Is it me spelling it wrong or isn't that the American spelling?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...and how comes you guys are spelling doughnuts as donuts? Is it me spelling it wrong or isn't that the American spelling?

Laziness!

And as Funky would say - uses less letters and therefore saves on effort, time and internet paper!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"I might need to shorten mine. It's like i'm doing a dissertation again

I may follow this hint

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont say yoy can breathe through your ears

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm told I am..." (goodlooking/have a good sense of humour/am VWE/ etc bla)

You shouldn't need others to tell you what you are. It sounds immature/cocky.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...and how comes you guys are spelling doughnuts as donuts? Is it me spelling it wrong or isn't that the American spelling?

Laziness!

And as Funky would say - uses less letters and therefore saves on effort, time and internet paper!

...think of all the trees i must have wasted lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilyflo1Woman
over a year ago

Horsham

Photo of you in a football shirt and/or trackie bottoms....unless you're actually playing football.

A face picture is a necessity.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Photos with you're socks still on!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Photos with you're socks still on!!!!

...but my socks are lovely!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

For straight guys a picture of you pulling your arse cheeks apart

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TINA! Must you?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"TINA! Must you?!"

Only on Tuesdays due to an old charter or something

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Photos with you're socks still on!!!!

...but my socks are lovely!

Popeye!! We have talked about this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilyflo1Woman
over a year ago

Horsham

Oh...and ffs SMILE

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"For straight guys a picture of you pulling your arse cheeks apart

Urgh!

Any profile that wants an older woman to teach them. I'm not here to teach, I'm here to shag!

Also moany ranty profiles. eg 'why won't anyone meet me?', 'women on here are too fussy', and so on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock pics taken over an open loo seat or in a bedroom that looks like a bomb has gone off in the wardrobe and scattered the contents over the floor, no, no, no!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

1 tip says Tina.....

If you've got it...show it, make me sallivate and want to see more (just keep the cock pics in private....to tease me even more)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilyflo1Woman
over a year ago

Horsham

"For straight guys a picture of you pulling your arse cheeks apart

Urgh!

Any profile that wants an older woman to teach them. I'm not here to teach, I'm here to shag!

Also moany ranty profiles. eg 'why won't anyone meet me?', 'women on here are too fussy', and so on."

Totally agree. We're definitely on the same page

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

You must also attempt to take anyone from Aussieland to the firing range and have them shot at dawn for perving your otherwise perfect profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

I like to see the pics of the person or people who's profile it is, not who they are shagging as well. I also don't like to see lists of things that they are not into, I'd rather hear what they are into.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

my fave....

if the rant is longer than the profile..... bad bad bad....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Donut photos. Chicks dig them and you'll be fighting them off with a 24" double ender in a heartbeat!

All your photos are excellent and well thought through xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Bad "planking" pics seem to work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cock pics taken over an open loo seat or in a bedroom that looks like a bomb has gone off in the wardrobe and scattered the contents over the floor, no, no, no!!!"

Agree with that lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If pictures are dark and not clear why bother uploading them lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are about 5 improve my profile threads running at the mo. 3 of which may need FORUM INSURANCE.

So what makes a bad profile?

1 tip at a time, so we don't overload anyone.

My tip, don't include pics of a girl playing with you, unless you can see more of you than of her. "

I don't like seeing these either. Also no safe sex indicated in interests, why wouldn't you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not necessarily the profile content but those nauseating thread posts to ladies/couples who've been let down:

"babe no way would I have done that to a beauty like you"

"yeah those people give us decent guys a bad name" etc.....Bleurgh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use spell check and at least some basic punctuation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All guys should upload pics of their tongue sticking out, its unbelievably sexy . just seeing a pic of a fat tongue covering beautiful silver filled teeth underneath gets women's juices flowing. From that pic you can tell instantly that they have a masters in oral

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and white guys, if you have a pretty face but a small dick then don't worry. Upload your face pic as an avatar and then nick a black guys 10 inch cock pics. Noone will actually notice and if they do just say the lighting wasn't very good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My top tip: there is nothing like a bathroom picture to say "I'm a married man".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hide cock pics only show if they ask for them"

I dont mind one or two, but well done, and only as well as other photos x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My top tip: there is nothing like a bathroom picture to say "I'm a married man".

I use henna to keep my hair looking golden and wavy so fuck off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hide cock pics only show if they ask for them

I dont mind one or two, but well done, and only as well as other photos x "

I have two cocks...one is my nose and it does dribble gooey stuff at times

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's not forget the huge long fantasy profile!

I meet you at the door and...

Even worse when it's cut and pasted into a message that begins with "what would you say if" then you check out the profile and there it all is.

Or the cut and paste of a load of symbols in the shape of a woman's body...I don't understand the point of it at all!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kids toys in the background and the phrase "all meets at ours after nine pm as we need to put the kids to bed". WRONG!

Photos taken in bedrooms that need to be visited by Aggie from that cleaning programme on the telly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Don't mention the word "timewaster"

2. If your cheating, say so.

3. If you can't accommmodate, say why (a good, valid reason not your job or neighbours, etc, see forums for lame Reasons to avoid)

4. Sexy clothing/style pics - suits, tees, shirts, jeans, etc, are as hot and balanced as cock pics

5. As others have said, no other sex/woman pics where you are not the majority of the pic (personally I can do without them as don't see any relevance)

6. Have preferences and opinions shared on your profile, wanting anything with anyone, any age/size is just desperate

Etc xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always drop in the fact that you hold an American Express card..Never fails

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A tidy/reasonable room, is better than a messy one in the background on pics! More inviting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who cares i just look at the pios and mastibate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

""I'm told I am..." (goodlooking/have a good sense of humour/am VWE/ etc bla)

You shouldn't need others to tell you what you are. It sounds immature/cocky.

Aaargh, HATE that!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hide cock pics only show if they ask for them

I dont mind one or two, but well done, and only as well as other photos x

I have two cocks...one is my nose and it does dribble gooey stuff at times"

Erm, nose play isn't a fetish I've come across before!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I'm told I am..." (goodlooking/have a good sense of humour/am VWE/ etc bla)

You shouldn't need others to tell you what you are. It sounds immature/cocky.

Aaargh, HATE that!!!"

Me too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Photos with you're socks still on!!!!

...but my socks are lovely!

Popeye!! We have talked about this!

I had socks on in all my pics...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here 4 sum fun msg me". Well, yes of course I will.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

""Here 4 sum fun msg me". Well, yes of course I will. "

Ooh what is this "sum fun"?

Is it like Sudoku?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Here 4 sum fun msg me". Well, yes of course I will.

Ooh what is this "sum fun"?

Is it like Sudoku?"

It's beyond me, I can only count to "OMG".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

""Here 4 sum fun msg me". Well, yes of course I will.

Ooh what is this "sum fun"?

Is it like Sudoku?

It's beyond me, I can only count to "OMG". "

Oooo, cryptic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Ooh and don't forget to choose a really creative and tasteful user name like 'fatpussyf***er', that'll really get the girls going.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got lots of muscle pics on my profile lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's not forget the huge long fantasy profile!

I meet you at the door and...

Even worse when it's cut and pasted into a message that begins with "what would you say if" then you check out the profile and there it all is.

Or the cut and paste of a load of symbols in the shape of a woman's

body...I don't understand the point of it at all! "

Oo Id forgotten about those, I must admit I haven't seen one in a while, ah nostalgia

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"Ooh and don't forget to choose a really creative and tasteful user name like 'fatpussyf***er', that'll really get the girls going."

I almost called myself that! Near miss, eh?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Let's not forget the huge long fantasy profile!

I meet you at the door and...

Even worse when it's cut and pasted into a message that begins with "what would you say if" then you check out the profile and there it all is.

This!!

Had the old copy and paste profile in a message today

then was asked. " can you give me a few pointers?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Let's not forget the huge long fantasy profile!

I meet you at the door and...

Even worse when it's cut and pasted into a message that begins with "what would you say if" then you check out the profile and there it all is.

Or the cut and paste of a load of symbols in the shape of a woman's

body...I don't understand the point of it at all!

Oo Id forgotten about those, I must admit I haven't seen one in a while, ah nostalgia

They are still around.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cock pics taken over an open loo seat or in a bedroom that looks like a bomb has gone off in the wardrobe and scattered the contents over the floor, no, no, no!!!

Agree with that lol "

So glad I'm not the only grossed out but the cock pic while sitting on the toilet! I can't even take them seriously!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umTOplayMan
over a year ago

london

After reading all this, I think my profile is prefect....

(runs off quickly to start again)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"After reading all this, I think my profile is prefect....

(runs off quickly to start again)

Is that prefect or perfect?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Photos with you're socks still on!!!!

...but my socks are lovely!

Popeye!! We have talked about this!

...that's it. Your on my Jehova's Socks List. Are you ready for your conversion? You may need to step down that ladder, undo those shackles and see how my socks are an aphrodisiac.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilyflo1Woman
over a year ago

Horsham

Oh...and no greying y-fronts. Or any y-fronts, to be perfectly honest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...and how comes you guys are spelling doughnuts as donuts? Is it me spelling it wrong or isn't that the American spelling?

Donut, doughnut what's the difference? They are all beignets to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inaTitz OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

PROFILES WRITTEN IN BOLD COME OVER AS ALL SHOUTY AND ANGRY!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there's that... and without proper interpunction and lay-out it just reads like verbal diarrhoea. Can't be arsed to read it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might need to shorten mine. It's like i'm doing a dissertation again

Nowhere near my current updated one! That's right folks.. after months away abroad I made it back!

(awe nobody will cares about me)

Hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

This thread is hilarious - I really enjoyed reading it and would agree to many posts.

I would simply suggest a medium sized genuine profile (definitely not a one liner nor War and Peace) and a couple of enticing shots (that leave a little to the imagination).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread