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swinging and bdsm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can the 2 scenes ever really mix..we are D's 24/4 life style people and live within certain protocols. Rule one and you would think this rule transcends all scenes lifestyles, but nope I take her to a sauna fro a treat, permanent collar visiable and some women without even asking me gets down on her knees clearly wanting to play with my sub. I made this perfectly clear when we entered the lounge of the sauna.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can mix and no one should touch without asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it can work, we have friends on here who are into the Bdsm lifestyle and we have 'vanilla' friends. We just adapt our play and meets accordingly so we stay within each other's boundaries and comfort levels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can the 2 scenes ever really mix..we are D's 24/4 life style people and live within certain protocols. Rule one and you would think this rule transcends all scenes lifestyles, but nope I take her to a sauna fro a treat, permanent collar visible and some women without even asking me gets down on her knees clearly wanting to play with my sub. I made this perfectly clear when we entered the lounge of the sauna."

ok, sorry, i may be being thick but i cant quite get the post.

what is the one rule you speak of which transcends everything?

the sauna a swing one or a 'nilla sauna?

i m guessing the other woman was another sub, yes?

please dont think im picking holes in anything, im just trying to get the scenario clear in my own, very slow working today, mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are active on both scenes and have plenty of friends that are too.

That said I'd never be so arrogant as to expect everyone in a swinging club to understand and respect a D/s dynamic in the same way as we don't complain about a lack of couples rooms at many Fet events.

There is a crossover but there are distinct differences too. And for some there will be no comprehension or interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can the 2 scenes ever really mix..we are D's 24/4 life style people and live within certain protocols. Rule one and you would think this rule transcends all scenes lifestyles, but nope I take her to a sauna fro a treat, permanent collar visible and some women without even asking me gets down on her knees clearly wanting to play with my sub. I made this perfectly clear when we entered the lounge of the sauna.

ok, sorry, i may be being thick but i cant quite get the post.

what is the one rule you speak of which transcends everything?

the sauna a swing one or a 'nilla sauna?

i m guessing the other woman was another sub, yes?

please dont think im picking holes in anything, im just trying to get the scenario clear in my own, very slow working today, mind"

Rule one is generally if I am correct nobody touches the sub without their dominants consent, same as not feeling up someone's wife without checking it's ok with hubby first when swinging I guess...no idea about the sauna bit sorry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are active on both scenes and have plenty of friends that are too.

That said I'd never be so arrogant as to expect everyone in a swinging club to understand and respect a D/s dynamic in the same way as we don't complain about a lack of couples rooms at many Fet events.

There is a crossover but there are distinct differences too. And for some there will be no comprehension or interest. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She was wearing her collar - she's owned in the bdsm sense and D/s people would know this and be respectful and not make inferences to sexual play without reference to her Dominant.

Plenty of swingers might not even know what some collars looked like.

And regardless all people should be respectful of boundaries, personal and sexual.

Even in a sauna.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd always notice someones collar but I also won't touch without permission full stop in any situation. X

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By *ogmaadWoman
over a year ago

Reading

it can mix but you need to be aware that not everyone in the swinging scene understands bdsm

a collar might be worn by a swinger as they think it looks sexy, which of course it does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd always notice someones collar but I also won't touch without permission full stop in any situation. X"

Precisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are active on both scenes and have plenty of friends that are too.

That said I'd never be so arrogant as to expect everyone in a swinging club to understand and respect a D/s dynamic in the same way as we don't complain about a lack of couples rooms at many Fet events.

There is a crossover but there are distinct differences too. And for some there will be no comprehension or interest. "

This too...

I understand that for some D/s and collars will have deep and meaningful lifestyle significance whereas for others it can mean simply items of dress or for play only with no interest in the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...same as not feeling up someone's wife without checking it's ok with hubby first when swinging I guess...no idea about the sauna bit sorry x"

Surely you'd ask the wife herself, not the husband?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can the 2 scenes ever really mix..we are D's 24/4 life style people and live within certain protocols. Rule one and you would think this rule transcends all scenes lifestyles, but nope I take her to a sauna fro a treat, permanent collar visiable and some women without even asking me gets down on her knees clearly wanting to play with my sub. I made this perfectly clear when we entered the lounge of the sauna."

What is Rule One? To ask before touching? I don't have a copy of the rule book....

Surely the most polite thing to do would be to tell her "hands off". She was the one in the wrong for touching without asking. But you can't assume that people are psychic and know all the rules of your relationship.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Rule 1. Never let suspects stay together. L.J. Gibbs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...same as not feeling up someone's wife without checking it's ok with hubby first when swinging I guess...no idea about the sauna bit sorry x

Surely you'd ask the wife herself, not the husband?! "

Sorry obviously having asked wife first but then still checking with hubby..shouldn't try and think and type with hangover sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

...same as not feeling up someone's wife without checking it's ok with hubby first when swinging I guess...no idea about the sauna bit sorry x

Surely you'd ask the wife herself, not the husband?!

Sorry obviously having asked wife first but then still checking with hubby..shouldn't try and think and type with hangover sorry! "

Ah ok!

Get well soon. x

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I think they can mix but a lot of people don't understand some of the rules associated with a bdsm lifestyle.

However, I agree you shouldn't touch without asking in any situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are active on both scenes and have plenty of friends that are too.

That said I'd never be so arrogant as to expect everyone in a swinging club to understand and respect a D/s dynamic in the same way as we don't complain about a lack of couples rooms at many Fet events.

There is a crossover but there are distinct differences too. And for some there will be no comprehension or interest. "

In a club no one touches without permission but I think most would check with the person before the partner, don't expect people outside your specific d/s relationship to know anything about it, just explain and enjoy xx

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