FabSwingers.com forum: 'SORRY YOU ARE NOT MY TYPE.'

By *lacksausage OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

I am of the opinion that the above declaration is perfect if delivered only in your first or second reply to a message/messages.

The situation where you keep the conversation up for days/weeks/months, giving reasons/excuses why you cannot meet only to come up with 'errm, by the way I do not want to lead you on, blah blah' is fucking annoying.

I think those people should be sh*t. Survivors should be resh*t.

Ladies and gentlemen of the fuck and shag fraternity, AT WHAT STAGE IS IT CORRECT TO DELIVER THOSE WORDS? - 'sorry you are not my type, I don't want to lead you on'

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Sorry you are not my type is better than being completely ignored

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is different in every case, sometimes you know within 5 words, sometimes it takes 5 months, no one thing suits everyone,

I have chatted to a guy for a few weeks maybe 50 messages, then he mentions bareback, so I then tell him it isn't for me, until then he has nt mentioned it.

Until you meet you have no idea if there will be a spark or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes Sorry your not my type is not enough. I had a message the other day, used those very words and got an abusive message back. Thanks goodness for the block button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette"
Your my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes Sorry your not my type is not enough. I had a message the other day, used those very words and got an abusive message back. Thanks goodness for the block button

"
And you are lush lol

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Some people are instantly not your type, others can shoot themselves in the foot. Sometimes you can get a message asking about the TG scene and then after 15 messages they ask you for a date. It's not easy. Also it's not easy to do without upsetting peeps.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I think you Need to chill out a bit.

The right stage is the stage that is right for the person sending it surely? Maybe first impressions were good buy then something happened to change their mind?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes Sorry your not my type is not enough. I had a message the other day, used those very words and got an abusive message back. Thanks goodness for the block button

And you are lush lol

Thank you

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Sometimes I find out people are not my type after quite a few messages. It's rare, but if it happens what else am I supposed to do? Carry on messaging even though we won't meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry you are not my type is better than being completely ignored "

I agree completely, I hate been ignored, it's just plain rude.

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By *anny PepperoniMan
over a year ago

Matlock

I've never had a "type" so the phrase irritates me intensely. Needless to say it is one of the most common messages in my inbox.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I am of the opinion that the above declaration is perfect if delivered only in your first or second reply to a message/messages.

It is dreadful of someone does it on purpose, i agree, evil timewaster.

BUT, some times you can talk to someone for ages, even meet, before they let their guard down and show their true character, or reveal something that they think is fine, but just completely turns you off.

I have many times been talking to a guy who suddenly reveals an aggressive or mysogynistic side, shoots themselves in the foot with some comment or other, even if it's just something that would make them incompatible for me. Usually it happens early on, but not every time - one guy I met was a vehement racist for instance - I didn't know til half way through the second meet!

It's annoying, but sometimes it's genuine - shit happens.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

So when someone messages you with *hi how are you .. Its ok to reply sorry you not my type ??

For them to then reply I wasnt asking for a date...

I truly never know the correct way to reply to these random messages.

As usually no one is my type. I dont wish to be rude when approached and will answer if I can.

What am I supposed to say to can we chat..? When in fact they just want to talk dirty and see my private photos..

Sadly sometimes it is easier to just delete tho I hate doing that.

Then you get the ones that skip the filter of no photo (by opening one to message me ) then hiding it. If I reply I am scuppered as they can then send more messages.

The rude beggers that send a message with a cock avatar despite saying no cock pics ..Then being rude and abusive when I just delete without opening.

What exactly are we supposed to do.

If I say a polite thank you when they compliment my fotos they then they take it as an opening to more conversation.

So exactly what is the right way to handle the message problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the OP is totally confused and doesn't understand what leading someone on actually means. If you're prepared to meet at the drop of a hat and play literally with anyone,anytime,any place then you should have no problems on here.

However many people want to take the time getting to know someone(s) before a meet or social is arranged.

This takes a lot of time and effort and it doesn't always go according to plan,no fault of anyone involved usually. If you have patience and manners you will get your rewards eventually.

If it comes to nothing you simply move on and you will find compatible people.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

And what are we supposed to say if we have a social meet and it turns out they're not my type? Carry on seeing them?

It might be an annoying phrase for someone whose hopes have been raised, but it will have to do until something better comes along. Sometimes, people really are not my type.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"So when someone messages you with *hi how are you .. Its ok to reply sorry you not my type ??

For them to then reply I wasnt asking for a date...

And my response is usually 'what were you messaging for?' Then block. It's manipulative bullshit and they know it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am of the opinion that the above declaration is perfect if delivered only in your first or second reply to a message/messages.

I think those people should be sh*t. Survivors should be resh*t.

Ladies and gentlemen of the fuck and shag fraternity, AT WHAT STAGE IS IT CORRECT TO DELIVER THOSE WORDS? - 'sorry you are not my type, I don't want to lead you on'

Totally agree. If they've not knocked you back within 2 messages they have a moral obligation to meet and fuck you

If not clearly they are fake or a timewasting pricktease.

Or you could lose the sense of entitlement and stop tellimg others how to use the site

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So when someone messages you with *hi how are you .. Its ok to reply sorry you not my type ??

For them to then reply I wasnt asking for a date...

I truly never know the correct way to reply to these random messages.

As usually no one is my type. I dont wish to be rude when approached and will answer if I can.

What am I supposed to say to can we chat..? When in fact they just want to talk dirty and see my private photos..

Sadly sometimes it is easier to just delete tho I hate doing that.

Then you get the ones that skip the filter of no photo (by opening one to message me ) then hiding it. If I reply I am scuppered as they can then send more messages.

The rude beggers that send a message with a cock avatar despite saying no cock pics ..Then being rude and abusive when I just delete without opening.

What exactly are we supposed to do.

If I say a polite thank you when they compliment my fotos they then they take it as an opening to more conversation.

So exactly what is the right way to handle the message problem

I think you need to asssume that the normal rules of social engagement don't apply here. No one is going to message you out of the blue asking how you are because they want to know, every message you get will be from someone who wants to take things further in a sexual sense unless they're responding to something the in the forum.

Cock avatar messages? Block and delete solves the rude response problem.

Its tough being like that if you're a naturally polite person but I think delete and block is the only way forward in most cases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to use that phrase after a few messages or if the person specifically ask if they are my type as I hate ignoring messages but some of the abuse I've had back is not worth the hassle. As much as I hate ignoring people I also hate even more having abuse hurled at me for being polite and not leading people on. If they don't have the maturity to accept a polite no thanks then that's their problem and anyway, do you really want to meet such an aggressive childish person? I think not. Personally, if someone had the balls to say it to me I'd respect their honesty and move on not launch into a personal attack but we all know life isn't that simple on here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When replying to straight guy who are asking me for a meet, I prefer using the phrase,,,,,,,

“Sorry I’m not your type”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When replying to straight guy who are asking me for a meet, I prefer using the phrase,,,,,,,

“Sorry I’m not your type”

Surely that always get you a message back saying "but.....(insert whatever bollocks load of tosh you can think of here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am of the opinion that the above declaration is perfect if delivered only in your first or second reply to a message/messages.

I think those people should be sh*t. Survivors should be resh*t.

Ladies and gentlemen of the fuck and shag fraternity, AT WHAT STAGE IS IT CORRECT TO DELIVER THOSE WORDS? - 'sorry you are not my type, I don't want to lead you on'

It just sounds like a very polite rejection to me. If you've chatted to someone for weeks or even months and they keep making excuses about why you can't meet, they obviosly find it difficult to give direct rejection. They probably just felt you weren't getting the message and so eventually delivered this line to you.

Don't let it annoy you fella.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think you Need to chill out a bit.

The right stage is the stage that is right for the person sending it surely? Maybe first impressions were good buy then something happened to change their mind?"

This!

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By *etsgetjiggingMan
over a year ago

norwich

It's a quagmire this topic. Very delicate balance is needed.

Males tend to bruise easily with their egos and it's difficult for women to respond to messages they are not interested in, in a way that's fair to all

As the saying goes "you can't please all the people all the time"

Guys should know that their are rude people and others who genuinely are not interested.

Take it on chin and move on, be optimistic and ye shall persevere .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When replying to straight guy who are asking me for a meet, I prefer using the phrase,,,,,,,

“Sorry I’m not your type”

Surely that always get you a message back saying "but.....(insert whatever bollocks load of tosh you can think of here)

Yeah,,,,,and I laugh for hours reading them....

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think the OP is totally confused and doesn't understand what leading someone on actually means. If you're prepared to meet at the drop of a hat and play literally with anyone,anytime,any place then you should have no problems on here.

However many people want to take the time getting to know someone(s) before a meet or social is arranged.

This takes a lot of time and effort and it doesn't always go according to plan,no fault of anyone involved usually. If you have patience and manners you will get your rewards eventually.

If it comes to nothing you simply move on and you will find compatible people."

...and this!

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By *lacksausage OP Man
over a year ago

Birmingham Airport

"So when someone messages you with *hi how are you .. Its ok to reply sorry you not my type ??

For them to then reply I wasnt asking for a date...

I truly never know the correct way to reply to these random messages.

As usually no one is my type. I dont wish to be rude when approached and will answer if I can.

seeing as we are not here to discuss the exit strategy from afghanistan or the stock exchange, it is my humble opinion that after exchanging a few pleasantries, it is ok to deliver the bad news.

What am I supposed to say to can we chat..? When in fact they just want to talk dirty and see my private photos..

Sadly sometimes it is easier to just delete tho I hate doing that.

Then you get the ones that skip the filter of no photo (by opening one to message me ) then hiding it. If I reply I am scuppered as they can then send more messages.

The rude beggers that send a message with a cock avatar despite saying no cock pics ..Then being rude and abusive when I just delete without opening.

What exactly are we supposed to do.

If I say a polite thank you when they compliment my fotos they then they take it as an opening to more conversation.

So exactly what is the right way to handle the message problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see the big issue really, u have to expect the unexpected, even if u actually MEET them...they might just not want to play, there is and should never be any sense of entitlement(and thats to all groups/sex's)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a quagmire this topic. Very delicate balance is needed.

Males tend to bruise easily with their egos and it's difficult for women to respond to messages they are not interested in, in a way that's fair to all

As the saying goes "you can't please all the people all the time"

Guys should know that their are rude people and others who genuinely are not interested.

Take it on chin and move on, be optimistic and ye shall persevere ."

If men " tend to bruise easily" they are on the wrong site

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's a quagmire this topic. Very delicate balance is needed.

Males tend to bruise easily with their egos and it's difficult for women to respond to messages they are not interested in, in a way that's fair to all

As the saying goes "you can't please all the people all the time"

Guys should know that their are rude people and others who genuinely are not interested.

Take it on chin and move on, be optimistic and ye shall persevere ."

Fellas: prime example why some of us don't give a tinkers toss to those outwith our criteria as saying no is seen as rude allegedly!

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By *an84stalbansMan
over a year ago

St. Albans

It's worse if they message you or wink at you, then you reply and the then say you're not my type or just ignore you!!! It's madness!!

Don't really get why they start talking to you when they can see your pictures but then stop!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

To ignore is rude.

To delete is rude.

Saying no thanks is rude.

Saying not my type is rude.

In other words, whatever answer we give will be considered rude by someone.

So fuck it! It's a straightforward 'no thank you ' from me and no further communication.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"It's worse if they message you or wink at you, then you reply and the then say you're not my type or just ignore you!!! It's madness!!

Don't really get why they start talking to you when they can see your pictures but then stop!

Because you may have said something which put them off. You may have thought it was innocuous but it maybe made them think twice.

Also it is not a crime to change your mind and no one is obliged to have sex no matter how many messages have been sent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the problem is, you could well be someones type, right up until you say something inapprorpiate,

see, i can have a whole conversation with someone, be getting on really well, then they say something wrong and its just such a turn off.

hate people describing what they want to do on a meet, further than the mechanics of it (ie, soft swing/girl-girl/kissing, that sort of thing) but if they say 'oo, i cant wait for you to.... or i cant wait to....' to me its just a big fat turn off.

no point going to meets with expectations as it may never happen. the spark may not be there, so if you get ahead of yourself, its a 'sorry, you arent what we are looking for'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When replying to straight guy who are asking me for a meet, I prefer using the phrase,,,,,,,

“Sorry I’m not your type”

Surely that always get you a message back saying "but.....(insert whatever bollocks load of tosh you can think of here)

Yeah,,,,,and I laugh for hours reading them....

Is that because they all they sound like they're the ONLY one who will reply with a reason why? By any chance....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To ignore is rude.

To delete is rude.

Saying no thanks is rude.

Saying not my type is rude.

In other words, whatever answer we give will be considered rude by someone.

So fuck it! It's a straightforward 'no thank you ' from me and no further communication. "

I totally agree, a polite no thanks then no further communication, if they choose to send more messages I never reply, I have said my bit

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It's worse if they message you or wink at you, then you reply and the then say you're not my type or just ignore you!!! It's madness!!

Don't really get why they start talking to you when they can see your pictures but then stop!

"Not my type" doesn't just mean looks. I recall four men I met who weren't my type.

1. Didn't hold the door open for me, only got himself a drink as "this ain't a date luv!" Didn't need to sit down with this charmer to know he was so not my type.

2. Slagged off every woman he'd slept with from the site: all whores allegedly. Wondering how many adjectives for "fat" he'd use to describe me to the next lucky cow made him so not my type.

3. Had a holiday home in the Ghana/Nigeria can't remember which, he employed a prostitute to clean while away. He and his business partner would go over and bang her. Scratching, wondering if my tetanus shots were up to date and making mental note to drop into GUM clinic in case breathing the same air was contagious made him so not my type.

4. Looked like Daniel Craig sounded like Joe Pasquale spoke about his mum and his neglected childhood. Contemplating suicide by throwing myself into the Thames during a meet made him so not my type!

You just don't know!

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By *etsgetjiggingMan
over a year ago

norwich

Unfortunately 90% of the time as men initiate the first contact and the women on here can pick and choose at their whims desire.

I hear women on here get so much messages it's frustrating.

Personally I adopt the same approach the women do.

If you get a message of that sort ignore it don't reply and move on.

A much better place for single guys in my opinion are the clubs and socials.

Try them if you are sick of rejection.

Face to face chats are much better in assessing one's chances of success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When replying to straight guy who are asking me for a meet, I prefer using the phrase,,,,,,,

“Sorry I’m not your type”

Surely that always get you a message back saying "but.....(insert whatever bollocks load of tosh you can think of here)

Yeah,,,,,and I laugh for hours reading them....

Is that because they all they sound like they're the ONLY one who will reply with a reason why? By any chance....

lol..... no but if they do reply .....

I always write them a very polite message which simply explains that I don't meet straight guys or guys whose profiles claim they are straight and I wish them good luck with swingers who match their profile preferences...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All life is here and thus far every 'type' I have met has been quite different to any

Other.

Like Bertie Basset, "all sorts" are my type

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Unfortunately 90% of the time as men initiate the first contact and the women on here can pick and choose at their whims desire.

I hear women on here get so much messages it's frustrating.

Personally I adopt the same approach the women do.

If you get a message of that sort ignore it don't reply and move on.

A much better place for single guys in my opinion are the clubs and socials.

Try them if you are sick of rejection.

Face to face chats are much better in assessing one's chances of success.

My PREFERENCES are not 'whims'.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Not my type" doesn't just mean looks. I recall four men I met who weren't my type.

1. Didn't hold the door open for me, only got himself a drink as "this ain't a date luv!" Didn't need to sit down with this charmer to know he was so not my type.

2. Slagged off every woman he'd slept with from the site: all whores allegedly. Wondering how many adjectives for "fat" he'd use to describe me to the next lucky cow made him so not my type.

4. Looked like Daniel Craig sounded like Joe Pasquale spoke about his mum and his neglected childhood. Contemplating suicide by throwing myself into the Thames during a meet made him so not my type!

You just don't know!"

Crikey! I've had one who I walked to his car from a club and then when he was safely off the scene gone back into the club.

I'm now wondering how many people have given me the run around and I've not noticed. We need a paranoid emote on here

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

Its all good, just send its a thanks but no thanks from me, good luck with your search & have fun.

Its reduced my 'bitch\fat cow' et all down to very rare + its also reduced the number of the dreaded 'but why?' Responses too.

Now I mostly get a 'thanks, you too' or a 'please consider me if you change your mind'

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Its all good, just send its a thanks but no thanks from me, good luck with your search & have fun.

Its reduced my 'bitch\fat cow' et all down to very rare + its also reduced the number of the dreaded 'but why?' Responses too.

Now I mostly get a 'thanks, you too' or a 'please consider me if you change your mind'

Never had a fat/bitch message as that's the approach I've always taken.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette Your my type

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

My profile tends to list what is and isn't my type.

Funny enough, I hardly get many messages these days lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette Your my type

cool ya jets, son.

nette's mine.

i am just waiting for them to collect the chickens lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette Your my type

cool ya jets, son.

nette's mine.

i am just waiting for them to collect the chickens lol"
I'm laying eggs

now now lads share n share a like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it should be said as soon as it becomes apparent, be straight no easy way of doing it, but beats leading people on.

Nette Your my type

cool ya jets, son.

nette's mine.

i am just waiting for them to collect the chickens lol I'm laying eggs

now now lads share n share a like

"
yes lets all play nice now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get a face picture with the first message, I say it then, other than that, often the distance is enough to turn them down and I tell them

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By *yLongJourneyMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

i dont even get that far, just ignored by people mostly, everyday and every night

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"i dont even get that far, just ignored by people mostly, everyday and every night"

hello

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don't have a type I have a preference and until I get that "hmnn" feeling about someone then I do delete a lot of mail, it does say on my profile not to take it personally as I have enough friends for now but I still get mail asking to meet.

I did have a reply of a guy I had refused to meet saying I am on an ego trip as I don't have much chance of meeting men in the real world being fat and all, I bid him a good evening and a happy new year because I am nice like that

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