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H"s a Cracker of a joke.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Was thinking this year maybe we can have some of the jokes out of your crackers here ...

Q. Why does scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

A. Because every buck is dear to him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Q. What s red and white and red, red and white and red and white.???

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By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock


" Q. What s red and white and red, red and white and red and white.???

"
I don't know what is red and white and red and white??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Q. What s red and white and red, red and white and red and white.???

I don't know what is red and white and red and white?? "
Its easy ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q, What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?

A, Snowballs....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" Q. What s red and white and red, red and white and red and white.???

I don't know what is red and white and red and white?? "
A. Santa Claus rolling down a hill . lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Q, What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?

A, Snowballs.... "
The old ones are the best , lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A poem….

He laid her on the table. So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat. He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast. And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set so he gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...he looked inside where all was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms and then he stuffed that turkey

..

Boom-Boom.....

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Why was Mrs Claus so sad?

Because Santa only comes once a year

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A poem….

He laid her on the table. So white clean and bare.

His forehead wet with beads of sweat. He rubbed her here and there.

He touched her neck and then her breast. And then drooling felt her thigh.

The slit was wet and all was set so he gave a joyous cry.

The hole was wide...he looked inside where all was dark and murky.

He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms and then he stuffed that turkey

..

Boom-Boom..... "
well I am loving that very dark and murky glad I am not eating that at xmas , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two snowmen chatting ,,,,, one says…..

“ Can you smell carrots?”

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Q. Why does santa claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

A. Because it soots him .

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Who looks after Father Christmas when he is ill?

The National Elf Service

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Who looks after Father Christmas when he is ill?

The National Elf Service"
loving that. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born?

They had a weigh in a manger .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney??

Claustrophobia!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck??

A Christmas Quacker!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

What is the worst thing about being a penis?

You only have one eye, you live next to 2 nuts, your nearest neighbour is an asshole and your best friend is a cunt!

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve :D

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

How does Darth Vader know what you've got for Christmas?

He feels your presents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols"

"
Carols ooooooo Thank you its making me LOL HERE my family will think what the hells going on in my bed room .

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Ok what do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates.......... a tearjerker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said.

You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carols"

Carols ooooooo Thank you its making me LOL HERE my family will think what the hells going on in my bed room . "

We aim to please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"

The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" the young woman asks.

"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford


"What is the worst thing about being a penis?

You only have one eye, you live next to 2 nuts, your nearest neighbour is an asshole and your best friend is a cunt!"
i like that lol

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By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock

What do you call a man with a long thin Willy???

A tight fisted wanker

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By *ingleguy1973Man
over a year ago

peterborough


"What is the worst thing about being a penis?

You only have one eye, you live next to 2 nuts, your nearest neighbour is an asshole and your best friend is a cunt!"

Are you sure you aren't describing Gordon Brown when he was chancellor?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas??

One that's deep pan, crisp and even x

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By *i fem huntersCouple
over a year ago

london

We were so poor when growing up, on xmas morning if you didn't wake up with a boner you had nothing to play with.................

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire??

Frostbite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jospeh , Mary and the young 'un were at the Christening.

Vicar : And what shall we name this young person today?

Jospeh : Jesus Christ.

Vicar : That's a little unusual.

Joseph : Well, yes it is. We were gonna call him Brian before i trod on a rake in that damn barn.

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