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The Potato Song

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Back when we was growing up, we hung around the local pool,

Great for cooling off in summer, great for chatting up sheilas too.

And me brother had birds flopping 'round him every time we went,

So i asked him what his secret was, and this is what he said...

Stick a potato down your bathers,

Yeah that'll get 'em in!

Shove a spud inside your duds,

Whenever you go for a swim.

Just pop a murphy down your surfies son,

And you'll be in like Flynn!

With a potato down your bathers

Yeah that'll get 'em in!

So I pissed off out the turnstiles and shot down the veggie store,

And grabbed myself a murphy, would've weighed half a pound or more.

And I shoved it down me bathers just like me brother said,

Then this randy little rooster turned and strutted back again.

With a potato down me bathers,

yeah that'll get 'em in!

A you beaut murphy down me surfies,

Now bring on all the women

Cause with it swinging in the breeze

I figured I'd be in like Flynn!

With a potato down me bathers,

Yeah that'll get 'em in!

I had no idea me brother's plan would work as good as that,

Cause when them sheilas seen it hangin' there stopped them in their tracks!

Cause it was bulgin' like a bastard as I strutted by the pool,

I just grabbed it, squeezed it, winked and said,"Hey, check me out, I'm cool!"

With a potato down me bathers,

Yeah that'll get 'em in!

A whoppin' murphy down me surfies,

Hey girls, cop a load of this.

With that spud shoved down me duds,

I thought that I was in like Flynn!

with a potato down me bathers,

yeah that'll get em in!

Eyes were poppin' out like golf balls, as the shielas stopped and stared,

And the blokes up in the grandstands all whistled, clapped, and cheered!

But me brother weren't too happy when he found out what I'd done,

He said "You fuckin' little wanker you're 'supposed to stick it down the front!

"Jesus now look what happened, fuck! All the sheilas have shot through!

And I'll never face me mates again fucking thanks to you!

I oughta' deck ya, fuckin' drown ya, wring your fucking neck!

'Cause that potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick!

Yeah that potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick!

'Round the front not round the back! How fucking stupid can you get!

You got it hangin' in your cossies like a fucking lump of shit

That potato down your bathers is supposed to be your dick!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about "The Perfect 10" ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

cant find that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never heard a potato song but i have dug a few up

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Just don't put them down the back of your pants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll start

I've just seen the movie "10", and I'm a fairly normal man,

So a 10 I reckon's every man's desire.

So with that playin on me mind,

I went out to try and find the perfect 10,

To help put out the fire.

Saw this place I'd heard about, where the sheila's all hang out,

I paid me dough, they stamped me hand,

And I went inside.

I didn't see no 10's, must all av fucked off by then,

Oh well, I'll hang around and check out the 9's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just don't put them down the back of your pants "

Kevin & Perry put potatoes down the back of the trunks in the movie

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