FabSwingers.com forum: Exactly how much milk and mice pies can Santa consume in one evening?

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Hmmmm somethings not right here....

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Mince pies..not mice lolol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mice pies

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Its ok he can pick up Tums at my house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He only takes a nibble of ours. Finishes all the wine though..

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

the reindeer might like mice pies

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Mice pies

"
Not as good as others typos but fair made me chuckle

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"He only takes a nibble of ours. Finishes all the wine though.."
Wine for santa? No wonder he has rosey cheeks!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I always wonder about the mix of milk and sherry. Maybe he just collects it, using the space vacated by the presents, and gives the mince pies, milk and sherry to the homeless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll he is a big old boy. Takes a lot of effort to maintain a figure like that. I should know.

Evie

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I always wonder about the mix of milk and sherry. Maybe he just collects it, using the space vacated by the presents, and gives the mince pies, milk and sherry to the homeless."
Or Rudolf necks all the alcohol, he has a red nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mince pies..not mice lolol

I've often wondered this myself. Perhaps he doesn't like mice. Oh you meant mince. I guess he has to eat them or the children will not be happy. Don't forget the reindeer most likely help him consume the pies. I don't what he does with the milk

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Mince pies..not mice lolol

"
Maybe he eats mice pies as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We usually leave a Baileys & a choccy biccy

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

No wonder he doesn't come down the chimney anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Femme!

doesn't exist

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

santa should set an example and lose weight lol

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

Ooh err I've gone shy

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Femme!

doesn't exist

"
Noooooooooooooooo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

Ooh err I've gone shy

Hope your not shy next year!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

OH YES HE DOES!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my house Santa always had a pint of Lager and the Reindeers had water... apparently Santa told my dad he was sick of sherry!

Funny now... not so funny when I was telling everyone in school!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is something you should all know .. sorry but hes not real .. merry Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still getting over eating tesco horse sausages!!

Won't be shopping there this crimbo-

& they've probably run out of mousetraps, also!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is something you should all know .. sorry but hes not real .. merry Christmas

well excuse me sir... but my presents last year clearly stated 'from Santa' so there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

OH YES HE DOES!

OH NO HE DOESNT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is something you should all know .. sorry but hes not real .. merry Christmas

oh yes he does, or else who empties has sack into lyn's stockings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is something you should all know .. sorry but hes not real .. merry Christmas

well excuse me sir... but my presents last year clearly stated 'from Santa' so there

"
im sorry but its about time you knew

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

OH YES HE DOES!

OH NO HE DOESNT

OH YES HE DOES! He just doesn't come to my house because... well, just because.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

OH YES HE DOES!

OH NO HE DOESNT

OH YES HE DOES! He just doesn't come to my house because... well, just because I am a very naughty lickety."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often told my old man that Santa was too fat to get down the chimney & get past the backboiler - alas, I was wrong!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I often told my old man that Santa was too fat to get down the chimney & get past the backboiler - alas, I was wrong!!

Did you hear Richard Wilson on the radio? He's relating his autobiography. One Christmas Eve he heard Santa so he went to look and found his father having a really good time with with aunt, his mother's sister.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I often told my old man that Santa was too fat to get down the chimney & get past the backboiler - alas, I was wrong!!

"
Lol, how funny! Is it on now?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I would rather like Santa to call at mine on sunday after 4 pm.. I need to try out this new magic wand.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I would rather like Santa to call at mine on sunday after 4 pm.. I need to try out this new magic wand.

"
Beware of power surges in your area then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme!

doesn't exist

Wash your mouth out

Make me

OH YES HE DOES!

OH NO HE DOESNT

OH YES HE DOES! He just doesn't come to my house because... well, just because I am a very naughty lickety."

Nice edit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often told my old man that Santa was too fat to get down the chimney & get past the backboiler - alas, I was wrong!!

"
omg - lmao!!

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By *eeriseWoman
over a year ago

Manchester and that's all you need to know

Santa can eat my mince pie and drink my milk when he's ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Santa can eat my mince pie and drink my milk when he's ready

*phones Rudolph's hotline

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

Milk and mice pies are what you leave out for santa claws the cat...

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

"Santa can eat my mince pie and drink my milk when he's ready

I can do that for you...I am a fat man with a beard...hohoho..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He may lose his license too if he is that pissed up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He gets left a Corona at ours. Mince pie and carrot get nibbled, but the beer is always gone! X

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

A few tonnes worth the fat bastard and his dirty stinking reindeer, leaving shit all over your lawn

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

[Removed by poster at 19/12/13 12:42:12]

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"A few tonnes worth the fat bastard and his dirty stinking reindeer, leaving shit all over your lawn"
Thats you off his list.

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By *nJ_NW_cplCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Because of the way he slows time he does a years work in what seems to us to be only one night. Therefore he can have a years worth of calories and alcohol with no side effects. Thought that was common knowledge xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have you seen his gut lol

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"A few tonnes worth the fat bastard and his dirty stinking reindeer, leaving shit all over your lawnThats you off his list.

Ive done nothing but slag the fat prick off.

Ho ho ho - Pull the other one fatty, it dont mean jack shit to me mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread title typo. Merry Christmas femme.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None, he isn't real

Happy Christmas all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We gave him mince pies. Mice don't taste as nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few tonnes worth the fat bastard and his dirty stinking reindeer, leaving shit all over your lawnThats you off his list.

Ive done nothing but slag the fat prick off.

Ho ho ho - Pull the other one fatty, it dont mean jack shit to me mate."

oooOOOoooo someone had the hump didn't they

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Love this thread title typo. Merry Christmas femme.

"
Merry Christmas...fucker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few tonnes worth the fat bastard and his dirty stinking reindeer, leaving shit all over your lawnThats you off his list.

Ive done nothing but slag the fat prick off.

Ho ho ho - Pull the other one fatty, it dont mean jack shit to me mate."

Which is why he doesn't bring you any presents! You are definitely on the naughty list methinks!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Twas the night before Christmas and all though the house . nothing was stirring. Not even a mouse .. Just look at the title

Its not a surprise

Cos naughty old femme

Baked them all in her pies

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

That's why he only has a little nibble and tiny slurp , it's all the carrots the reindeers eat that

worries me

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Twas the night before Christmas and all though the house . nothing was stirring. Not even a mouse .. Just look at the title

Its not a surprise

Cos naughty old femme

Baked them all in her pies

"
Ha fucking ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love this thread title typo. Merry Christmas femme.

Merry Christmas...fucker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tonight he's going to have a nice pannacotta and a hot chocolate here Hope he's not lactose intolerant or it'll be a speedier run than usual. I'll just help him out I think......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Santa goes to rehab for the rest of the year to recover from his sugar binge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the fat fecker aint having any of ours he can buy his own

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

My sprogs decided we should love food hate waste and leave santa some leftover nibbles from our buffet tea. They also rather practically decided if we left milk in a cup the cats would either drink it or knock it over, so he's got about a sixth of a litre bottle of semi skimmed still in the bottle

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The reindeer have the hugest carrot ever over this way tonight. Santa has some rum.

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines

"the reindeer might like mice pies"

What kind of carnivorous herbivore beasties have you discovered? Oh deer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Santa goes to rehab for the rest of the year to recover from his sugar binge"

They tried to make him go to rehab,he said ho ho ho

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Santa goes to rehab for the rest of the year to recover from his sugar binge

They tried to make him go to rehab,he said ho ho ho "
Hahaha!

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Santa goes to rehab for the rest of the year to recover from his sugar binge

They tried to make him go to rehab,he said ho ho ho "

Oh no no!

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