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Is it just me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for clicking on this link, my name is Danny and I've been a member of this site for over a year.

I was introduced to it by a friend who also has an account, and she seems to be the only woman I have met up with and slept with on this site.

For over a year, I have been trying to, to put it bluntly, "crack the code" of this website ever since I joined. I started searching on the "browse" menu, then messaging women I would be interested in. After sending messages to a few lovely contacts, I waited.

And I waited some more. And I waited more. But nothing.

Its taken me a year to hear back from some of the women I have messaged, and I've even had conversations with some through this medium. I admit, most have been as short as three messages (a message from me to them, them replying, me replying and then never hearing from then again).

From what I've gathered, a lot of you ladies are posting on your profiles about many messages a day, some of you even receiving hundreds of messages a day. And I applaud that. If you got it and guys want it, there's nothing wrong with that.

The problems we men face is that its a lot more uncommon for a woman to contact a man before she gets contacted herself. When a woman reads a message from a man, she might reply, but then the message gets buried in piles of daily e-mails these women receive.

What are the thoughts of the community on this? How, for example, would someone like myself increase my chances of achieving what it was I set up this account to achieve, to meet lovely lady?

Leave comments and I will monitor the replies and comment back. Lets make this a real discussion.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to hear your views on this.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Do you think your profile clearly represents you and what you have to offer on this site?

You've acknowledged that women get a lot of messages and have a lot of choice of men. What have you done to make yourself stand out? How much effort does it seem that you have made?

Look at your profile and ask yourself if someone with that profile messaged you, would you be interested? Even if you had many other messages from other people?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My profile is bare, I admit. I assumed I covered a few bases by mentioning my degree and that I'm young, but I could mention a lot more.

If you were to ask a potential meet-up a free questions, what would they be?

Would you want to know about what this guy's hobbies are? What he does for a living? What his ambitions are? Where he wants to be in a few years?

Or more slanted towards what his turn-ons are? What kinds of women is he in to? The naughtiest situation he's ever found himself in?

I seem to freeze like most guys on here and think "Bugger, I don't know what to mention. Is this too little or too much information? If its enough, is it relevant?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My profile is bare, I admit. I assumed I covered a few bases by mentioning my degree and that I'm young, but I could mention a lot more."

Your degree may help with a job application, the fact you think it worth mentioning as pretty much the only thing you have to sell will count more against than for you on a profile.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Have a look at the profiles of some of the more successful men to get some ideas.

There are regularly posts by guys having little success who want profile advise, do have a look through and read some of the those.

Ultimately though, it's your profile. It needs to represent you. Consider it your "shop window" though and try to make it as appealing as possible, as well as honest and representative of you.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

It's also totally pointless saying you're young on your profile, since the profile shows your age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While you need to sell yourself to some degree, you don't need to sell that one (muhah, I'm so funny).

With the caveat that I'm not exactly the right person to be giving advice, I would say you need:

1) A bit about yourself

2) What you are looking for

3) What you can offer

Sex it up a bit and stick in a few jokes if you wish.

I know there are some men that can get away with minimal profiles but they are in the minority and usually Adonises with 10" of meat.

You get out what you put in and I should probably put in more effort.

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By *ickedxxxCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Just looked at your profile you have a B.A. I'm sure you can work out what's wrong with a profile that says nothing about you at all other than you have a B.A. by your post you sound intellectual but have you taken the time to research other guys profiles for ideas? Your up against guys who have six packs and manly jaws who boast vwe 8" plus cocks you have to be better than they are or different to them. We see msg of these guys daily and we

Delete most, thank others for there msg if it's written well or a nice comment but still they may be not what we're looking for, nothing wrong with them or there profile just not for us. So advise wise change profile make it different, more public pics (not all of your cock) try clubs or event's with your friend if possible try a few cam rooms or the best advise I see on here is go out to your local and say hello to someone.

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By *ickedxxxCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

After taking the time to right my last post I see that most people have given you the same advise I have ,take it mate or give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here for a year and your profile is so bare... I actually do read profiles... Even the crazy long ones. I don't think you need your degree! Your here for sex no applying for a job. You are young so that maybe a small something. Tell us what you like, what you don't like. Sell yourself make me want you enough to message you back... At least you have a fb so you haven't totally been let down on here.

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

Whoopee you have a BA and that makes you a better fuck/person?

Also worth, remembering that some look upon a BA as a soft degree compared to a BSc (hons).

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

[Removed by poster at 17/12/13 06:22:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No offence but i lost will to live halfway through the original.post

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

You are articulate and well spoken in your thread and posts. All advice given above by fellow forumites is sound and I hope they will not have wasted their time answering your question and giving you the help you asked for.

I clicked on your profile, read the first sentence, saw the typos/mis-spelt words and closed it without reading any further. I suggest you correct them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the forums!!

My top tip? Type 'profile help' into the search box and read a few previous threads. Generally the same advice comes up and amongst the leg pulling there's often some useful pointers .

My three tips? Rewrite the profile, get some interesting pictures up - and most of all - be yourself rather than try to appeal to the masses and turn your profile into something that doesn't reflect you!

Oh - and hang around the forums. It's a great place to enjoy banter!

Good luck!

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

You are 23 and a lot of couples don't want guys that young.....don't ask me why

It says you have a degree....why do us swingers need to know that??

All we want to know is what you are looking for and what you can offer us

for starters

Good luck with it all

x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

A) only one public photo... Get some more.

B) you mention a degree... It doesn't help, does it?

C) you've put more effort into your post than you have your profile - you're clearly articulate so rewrite your profile

D) look on swinging as a lifestyle and social opportunity and that the chance to meet people for sex a happy bonus, so be here on the forum with th rest of us 2% of fab, go in the chat rooms, go to a social, go to a club.....

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

Put as much effort into your profile as you have into your forum post and you should be fine!

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