FabSwingers.com forum: Non swap couples

By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

Are we, as a couple who dont want to swap, really that unique on here? We love being around sexual activity and watching it, we just dont want to go down the route of full or even soft swap. Some have said we have no right being on a swingers site but you can show many preferences on profiles, ours is simply voyeurism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are we, as a couple who dont want to swap, really that unique on here? We love being around sexual activity and watching it, we just dont want to go down the route of full or even soft swap. Some have said we have no right being on a swingers site but you can show many preferences on profiles, ours is simply voyeurism. "

If you find an exhibitionist couple who just want to be watched you will be fine, but most on here want to swap so they will tend to view you as a frustration. But you have the right to be here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for us, that is where soft swap starts, so as far as we are concerned, you are, for want of a better term, 'entry level' softies.

dont worry about it. they obviously arent worth your time.

we have spoken to a few couples that are happy just being with others whilst sexual activity goes on, but not many

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

We have met couples from here and got a lot of fun out of the meets, but often, not always felt that they are lowering their standars/expectations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about the labels. There are plenty of couples in clubs such as Vanilla Alternative who only play with each other and get turned on by being around sex.

You may stay like this forever or start to swap but either way, enjoy the swinging world particularly the clubs!

If you do want to meet other couples or go to private sex parties then make sure you are upfront that you only play with each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can do as much as you want here or as little, single guys get a reputation for being pushy, but the truth is couples can be just as bad, just take pride in the fact that these couples are frustrated cos they are eager to get there hands on you lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have met couples from here and got a lot of fun out of the meets, but often, not always felt that they are lowering their standars/expectations. "

we feel the same, though, as we are only softies, just a little further on than yourselves.

but yes, we have felt that we are wasting peoples times because we dont do what they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what you like and enjoy and don't worry about what other people think. There will be lots of other couples that like the same. Possibly some of the year old profiles with no veri's.

Ignore the disrespectful people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is all about fun, and the level at which you feel comfortable. There will always be rude and critical people, who are only too keen to judge others.Enjoy swinging at a level that suits you. We have been told that we should leave the site, as we haven't had meets for a long time, and are uncertain that we ever will again. Makes us more determined to stay.

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

We always make it plain that we dont swap but youd be amazed how often we tell people, even meet them, and they have not picked up on the fact, or they think that we werent serious about it. We have fun here, it just seems we have rarely come across other couples like us, and when we do they are fakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you make it clear from the outset then folk can make an informed decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would it be easier, in your situation, to enjoy the voyeurism offered by going to clubs and leave one on one meets alone seeings as the trust with other couples seems to be lacking.

is it just pure watching or is there interraction between parties?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have met couples from here and got a lot of fun out of the meets, but often, not always felt that they are lowering their standars/expectations. "

That is their problem, not yours. They either accept you for what you are, and what you bring to a meet, or they move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have met couples from here and got a lot of fun out of the meets, but often, not always felt that they are lowering their standars/expectations.

we feel the same, though, as we are only softies, just a little further on than yourselves.

but yes, we have felt that we are wasting peoples times because we dont do what they do."

Omg this is making me feel sad, I'm bi and I have no desire to receive anal for the moment, if someone said or made me feel like I was a time waster I would be furious.

Personal choice is the key, a lot of people don't want to meet black guys, I don't then go messaging them and harassing them, I see the no black guys but in there profile and at the most ill think to my self "shame, I would have liked to meet them" and move on, don't give up and don't give in, only change your mind if you want to

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

We do go to clubs and we do have good meets, and we do occasionally find what we are looking for. We are just surprised that we are in such a minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always make it plain that we dont swap but youd be amazed how often we tell people, even meet them, and they have not picked up on the fact, or they think that we werent serious about it. We have fun here, it just seems we have rarely come across other couples like us, and when we do they are fakes. "

We have started exchanging messages in the past, with various guys who think they can change our minds over certain issues. Too pushy for us. We then tell them, thanks but no thanks, and move on.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Just do what you are happy and relaxed with, if the other parties aren't happy with that, then they don't get a second helping

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

As long as all involved agree and happy, go for it...

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

You've got every right as the next person to be on here.

We are the same ATM but like your profile never say never.

Just do what SUITS you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not.

a lot of people seem to be all about who else they can get inside of, or inside of them, without worrying about the sensuality of what can be done without penetrative sex, or indeed the observation of said processes.

i know most people on these forums wont agree with this, but this really is our observation of lots of people on here

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

It might help if you change or remove this text from your profile "We are open minded and will consider any offer seriously, we never say never" It's a bit confusing to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its up to you ehat you do. Take no notice of others. Very rarely we play with others at clubs, although we have done so but its our choice. Xx

Just have fun

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

It might help if you change or remove this text from your profile "We are open minded and will consider any offer seriously, we never say never" It's a bit confusing to me."

Exactly that got me too,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/12/13 07:57:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are we, as a couple who dont want to swap, really that unique on here?"

No - we met one. We were very careful about not touching them too only as things progressed the female became very touchy with both of us which made things a little awkward for us.

Whether they just hadn't discussed things properly between themselves or maybe she got carried away in the moment I don't know but we've avoided meeting similar couples again.

But only an idiot would say you can't be on here - I'll bet the majority on here do no more than tug themselves off next to a PC.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've never had a meet where it is purely 'stick to your own and watch' but we'd have no problem in doing it if that was the other couples preference - it wouldn't kill me THAT much sticking to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luckily everyone is different, some get off on coming across as the village bike, listing lots of verifications, some get of on watching, some on chatting, some on being watched, everything is good, just be happy and have fun

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

For those questioning why we put never say never we are trying to be realistic. We may get to a meet and the other couple suggest something we would seriously consider it. We are always open minded. However we want to go to a meet with the others knowing that the chances of us changing our boundaries are very slim if not impossible. We dont want anyone to be under any misconstrued perceptions. (that all makes sense to us).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For those questioning why we put never say never we are trying to be realistic. We may get to a meet and the other couple suggest something we would seriously consider it. We are always open minded. However we want to go to a meet with the others knowing that the chances of us changing our boundaries are very slim if not impossible. We dont want anyone to be under any misconstrued perceptions. (that all makes sense to us). "

Its better to go with no expectations, at least then if more happens its a bonus

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

I wasn't questioning why you said it I just thought it could have been worded differently to make it more clear what you meant. If Ihad only read your profile and not your posts on this thread I would be confused by it as it seems contradictory.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You make it clear on your profile who and what you are . Therefore you are perfectly entitled to be here .

I would question as to whether there are enough couples like yourselves though .

Do you think some meets you get are a 'last resort' as in they can't get anything else ?

For most on here the time , trouble and effort that go into arranging a meet may not be worthwhile for a shared voyeuristic moment .

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

We agree with all you all say. And yes Glos. Couple we do feel like that but have to confess that we have thoroughly enjoyed every meet we have had, and at the meets we have never felt pressured to do anything outside our boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We agree with all you all say. And yes Glos. Couple we do feel like that but have to confess that we have thoroughly enjoyed every meet we have had, and at the meets we have never felt pressured to do anything outside our boundaries. "

That's great !

Carry on and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We won't say you're unique, But We are sort of the same way. We prefer to tag team an individual then move on to the second person. Then Back to the first, You get the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at the end of the day isnt that what its all about ?.Everyone enjoying themselves with no Pressure..Each to their own i say..Gary

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

Well thanks for the responses, its nice to know we are not the social outcasts we were starting to feel. Xxx

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Everyone is unique in their own way.

On here it takes 2to tango and with us it takes 4.

That means there are 4 preferences that you need to satisfy.

We haven't played yet, at the moment my wifes preferences are different to mine, although very similar, I think basically is getting over the fear factor.

when we message people we tell them exactly where we stand, and like yours if it goes further and let things be and we are all content, things may go further.

Just go with the flow and go with your instincts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well thanks for the responses, its nice to know we are not the social outcasts we were starting to feel. Xxx"

ah no, you are lol

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By *ittle-Miss-NaughtyCouple
over a year ago

Worksop

Me n mu boyfriend are the same, we dont want to swap with another couple-maybe me with another lady- but dont want to soft swap or full swap at all, have had a few couples message saying we shouldnt be on here etc! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and i are the same as yourselves. We don't swap but love to watch my wife suffers from low self-esteem so swap is not an option (although i would be up for it but would ever push anything on her because i love her so much). I find people don't want to know you on here unless its for a meet and we are thinking of leaving which is a shame as we enjoy cams. Just be yourselves and stuff the rest x

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

"Well thanks for the responses, its nice to know we are not the social outcasts we were starting to feel. Xxx

ah no, you are lol

Lol, well thank you lol

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

"Well thanks for the responses, its nice to know we are not the social outcasts we were starting to feel. Xxx

ah no, you are lol

Lol, well thank you lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To many people on this site have to many oppionings about over couples.

Dont let them ruin your fun..

We should all just do wot we feel comfortable in our own relationships and just leave others alone.

Good luck and have some fun

Helen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well thanks for the responses, its nice to know we are not the social outcasts we were starting to feel. Xxx

ah no, you are lol

Lol, well thank you lol

ah, its ok, we are a very inclusive and forgiving couple lol

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

Xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only look for threesomes or fun when being watched but don't want full swap with another couple. It's not that odd, it just limits your numbers that's all! It's best to be up front about it!

But we are coming around to the idea of soft swop with a couple next to us, so you never know! We have a simple rule... Never say never and just have fun!

C xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We only look for threesomes or fun when being watched but don't want full swap with another couple. It's not that odd, it just limits your numbers that's all! It's best to be up front about it!

But we are coming around to the idea of soft swop with a couple next to us, so you never know! We have a simple rule... Never say never and just have fun!

C xx"

exactly the way this kind of 'passtime' should be approached

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By *eerob OP Couple
over a year ago

solihull

Oooooh never say never say never it causes all sorts of problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We certainly wouldn't meet a couple with your boundaries, but you are entitled to be in here as much as anyone else and use the site how you wish, good luck and have fun

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