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Classic Homer

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I didn't lie.... I was writing fiction with my mouth"

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

"Hmmm, you can get the internet on computers now.."

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

(to Lisa) "Honey, just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doh" ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stupidity got us in to this and stupidity will get us out of it! x

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

when being presented with the prize at his high school reunion for most weight gained he was asked

"so homer, tell us how you managed it"

"I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch"

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By *riendlyfunfemWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

simpsons movie on film4 have seen it a million times but love it!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woo hoo!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought this was the book group discussing Homer's Iliad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm d*unk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought this was the book group discussing Homer's Iliad "

me too ..but what do we know eh ??

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By *wned EmCouple
over a year ago

nuneaton

"Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig.

Does whatever a Spider-Pig can"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought this was the book group discussing Homer's Iliad

me too ..but what do we know eh ??

"

mind u my favourite has to be

Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out. could be the mantra for this site ......

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?”

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

“Oh..please dont eat me, I have a wife and three kids...eat them!”

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By *yuiop08Man
over a year ago

Salford

Operator! Quick give me the number for 911

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By *vil_homer2Man
over a year ago

H F I L

Tom: C'mon Bart, you know better than to talk to strangers.

Homer: For your information, I'm his father.

Tom: His father...? The d*unken GAMBLER!?

Homer: That's right! And who might you be?

*Tom punches Homer in the face, and the two wind up kicking the shit out of each other all over town. Homer loses. Just.*.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See.....

Just looked at this and thought ohhhh

"Homer's Iliad"

then thought.

nahhhhhhhhhhh not on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmmmmmm alcohol. The cause of, and solutions to all lifes problems

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lisa invents a perpetual motion machine..

'Lisa! Get in here.In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!'

.

'Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain'

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham

donuts mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Donuts! Is there anything they can't do?

So what do you like, Lisa? Vio-ma-lin? Tuba-ma-ba? Obo-ma-boe?

When you think about it, mud is nothing more than wet dirt!

Doh!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You/re making a scene'.

I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies.

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man - which makes me the woman; and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which (as we discussed) is strictly a comfort thing.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Beer - now THERE'S a temporary solution.

Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson.'

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been cleaning the inside of the car, got into the back to clean the windows closed the door and then remembered the childlock is on D'OH!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not racist, I just stereotype - it's quicker.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are.

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Books are useless: I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird" - and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin, but what good does THAT do me?

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By *andsomgeorgeMan
over a year ago

Rugby


"See.....

Just looked at this and thought ohhhh

"Homer's Iliad"

then thought.

nahhhhhhhhhhh not on here "

I thought it was going to reference the Odyssey or Iliad too.

D'oh!

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