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Curious/me being naive?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Both children do need and deserve his attention. The sibling without autism is still a child and has their own needs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Both children do need and deserve his attention. The sibling without autism is still a child and has their own needs.

"

The same amount or does one need the other because of the condition?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Both children do need and deserve his attention. The sibling without autism is still a child and has their own needs.

The same amount or does one need the other because of the condition? "

Amounts are difficult to judge. Equally, even if differently.

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By *ussyGalore and Mr OCouple
over a year ago

A House

Speaking from experience. He needs to share his attention equally with both kids or the kid he mentions less will start to resent both him and his brother

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Speaking from experience. He needs to share his attention equally with both kids or the kid he mentions less will start to resent both him and his brother "

Obviously from the other child's point of view that makes sense, but I didn't want to sound insensitive saying "what about your other child" or even question he loves one more than the other as obviously that isn't the case. Maybe he feels a sense of duty to one

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By *ral.steveMan
over a year ago

LEEDS


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism? "
. It's hard I am in same boat but you must try find same amount of time for both

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By *ral.steveMan
over a year ago

LEEDS


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism? "
. It's hard I am in same boat but you must try find same amount of time for both

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By *ussyGalore and Mr OCouple
over a year ago

A House


"Speaking from experience. He needs to share his attention equally with both kids or the kid he mentions less will start to resent both him and his brother

Obviously from the other child's point of view that makes sense, but I didn't want to sound insensitive saying "what about your other child" or even question he loves one more than the other as obviously that isn't the case. Maybe he feels a sense of duty to one "

You don't have to. There's ways of addressing it without being direct. Kids with autism do need extra supervision but he can get the other child involved with that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Speaking from experience. He needs to share his attention equally with both kids or the kid he mentions less will start to resent both him and his brother

Obviously from the other child's point of view that makes sense, but I didn't want to sound insensitive saying "what about your other child" or even question he loves one more than the other as obviously that isn't the case. Maybe he feels a sense of duty to one

You don't have to. There's ways of addressing it without being direct. Kids with autism do need extra supervision but he can get the other child involved with that."

Its not the supervision I am on about. Its the fact one seems to be more mentioned and involved, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism? "

He probably does give the other lots of attention but as a parent he probably feels responsible for his child's condition as its a dna thing. People do outwardly overcompensate when they feel guilt or need to be seen to be caring.

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By *ussyGalore and Mr OCouple
over a year ago

A House

Im trying to help you out here

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Im trying to help you out here "

Sorry. Forgive me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism?

He probably does give the other lots of attention but as a parent he probably feels responsible for his child's condition as its a dna thing. People do outwardly overcompensate when they feel guilt or need to be seen to be caring. "

That's what I was thinking, but did think there maybe a danger of the other child resenting them at some point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism?

He probably does give the other lots of attention but as a parent he probably feels responsible for his child's condition as its a dna thing. People do outwardly overcompensate when they feel guilt or need to be seen to be caring. "

I think Montecristo! hit the nail on the head, sounds like he is overcompensating. He may feel guilty or even ashamed of having a son with autism and is hiding this by his extreme displays of affection and care . But hey! I'm no Freud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism?

He probably does give the other lots of attention but as a parent he probably feels responsible for his child's condition as its a dna thing. People do outwardly overcompensate when they feel guilt or need to be seen to be caring.

That's what I was thinking, but did think there maybe a danger of the other child resenting them at some point. "

It often is seen that way by the other child but how do you address it as kids no matter what always think they are getting left out. I would think the guy cares a lot for both of the kids though probably just more protective of the autistic one.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Well, every kid is different.

We were brought up like this...

There was me, my brother and my sister.

I think my sister got pretty much all of the attention. My brother got a got a bit jealous. I liked my privacy though.

In the log run, there was more damage done to my sister than us two. I guess she got used to the attention then started demanding it.

But as I said... Kids are different. You have to see to each one individually.

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By *ussyGalore and Mr OCouple
over a year ago

A House

Bit of a tricky one to answer without knowing the full story and people involved

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I know a bloke who has a 2 kids. Both kids are very young. Only about a year or two apart they are though. Anyway the younger one suffers with autism and after a few months it got me thinking. This bloke has been mentioning non stop his love for his child with autism and has many photos on show with him and his child who has the condition. He even goes on about setting up and going to charity events that are about this condition. All good causes of course and its great to see someone love their child that much, but I don't see or hear of him mentioning his other son. Surely his other child deserves 50% of his time (attention maybe) or is it different because his other child has autism?

He probably does give the other lots of attention but as a parent he probably feels responsible for his child's condition as its a dna thing. People do outwardly overcompensate when they feel guilt or need to be seen to be caring.

That's what I was thinking, but did think there maybe a danger of the other child resenting them at some point.

It often is seen that way by the other child but how do you address it as kids no matter what always think they are getting left out. I would think the guy cares a lot for both of the kids though probably just more protective of the autistic one. "

Its just not about being protective. Its about constantly talking about that child and how much he cares for that child too and shows how much he cares by wanting to do charity events, etc. The other one doesn't get mentioned at all. Even though its none of my business. It just puzzles me that's all. So I thought is it just me being naive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is he a single parent or does he have a partner. Being a single parent to two is hard enough having to split yourself down the middle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How bad is the Autism as there is a spectrum different levels x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just havnt got a clue have they.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is he a single parent or does he have a partner. Being a single parent to two is hard enough having to split yourself down the middle x"

He isn't a single parent. Well I know the child had trouble communicating at one point.

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