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Dating or sex site?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always prepared to have sex on a first meeting as you are quite correct in saying that this site is intended for that sort of thing.

However I'm always prepared to say "no" if the guy turns out to be a complete wanker!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no, why should someone shag someone just because they have met up?

The point of socials is to meet someone new and see if you get on and have an attraction, if you don't - why would you want to shag them?

Try instashag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social meeting before agreeing to have sex with someone you've never met before is NOT the same as a date!

I get messages from people all the time with the same view as you and it drives me insane!!

If you were to meet someone for sex (without a social first) and they decided not to go ahead if, for example, they weren't attracted to you in the flesh (possibly having seen pics), would that not be a waste of time?

Some of us like to have sex with people we find mentally stimulating as well as physically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be a connection I can't tell if I want to fuck someone through a computer screen, I can tell if they are attractive but it's not the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm always prepared to have sex on a first meeting as you are quite correct in saying that this site is intended for that sort of thing.

However I'm always prepared to say "no" if the guy turns out to be a complete wanker!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's where people arrange a date to shag

Simples

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Oh damn does that mean I'm not going to find the new mr cutie

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

See i meet swingers so enjoy the social side. It can be just sex but usually its swinging so i get to know them then engage in sex with them. At clubs when its moresums i still mostly engage with people socially then progress to orgies that is just the way i am.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Yes you are wrong

It's very unlikely that I will have sex with someone the first time I meet them. I prefer a social meet in a neutral setting first to see if we click first,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes, you are wrong.

if you want to get your jollies with anyone that happens to come along, then thats your business, and all power to you.

but some actually like to make sure they have something in common other than sex.

but each to their own.

we would much rather enjoy a laugh and an evening in some good company than hollow sex and nothing more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There has to be a connection I can't tell if I want to fuck someone through a computer screen, I can tell if they are attractive but it's not the same thing."

well said that man

who says because you want to meet someone first your looking to date them

the whole point is check someone out as there are to many liars fake pics etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

How is a social meet the same as a date?

To be honest your attitude sucks of selfishness and entitlement which are traits few find attractive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Yes, you're wrong.

Not only about this but probably most things. In fact, just assume you're wrong about everything from here on in and let me make your decisions for you by text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I definitely agree with the sentiment, this is a sex site not a dating site. I've been shot down for saying this before on other threads, but in my mind sites like POF are for dating.

I appreciate that people do find love on here, however sex is sex and love is love. This isn't the place to go and look for love otherwise there is likely to be serious disappointment

I do, however, advocate a social meet (with a view to sex) this gives the both parties the chance to walk away if the spark isn't there and a neutral and public environment takes the pressure away from a polite "nice to meet you but I'm not wanting to play"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Yes

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land


"I definitely agree with the sentiment, this is a sex site not a dating site. I've been shot down for saying this before on other threads, but in my mind sites like POF are for dating.

I appreciate that people do find love on here, however sex is sex and love is love. This isn't the place to go and look for love otherwise there is likely to be serious disappointment

I do, however, advocate a social meet (with a view to sex) this gives the both parties the chance to walk away if the spark isn't there and a neutral and public environment takes the pressure away from a polite "nice to meet you but I'm not wanting to play"

"

Admitted I havent been on sex or dating sites, but unless speed dating has been redefined as a 'social' I dont see the connection at all.

In fet they do munches,

In swinging it's socials,

sex sites are for just sex.

Dating sites or to put together people for relationships.

Well in my head it is.

I attend socials and have been seen at munches but I just dont see this place as a sex site. Clues in the name up top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Your wrong, why should people fuck on a first meet. It's not just about sex

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By *aughty-PeepsCouple
over a year ago

teesside

just how some people do it, some just wanna dive straight in and might have the courage to change their mind when they get there if they no longer want to play, others prefer to be somewhere with much less pressure to play, especially if they probably ladies who are accommodating themselves

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

It's like buying a car you would never buy it on sight...you would want to have it checked out to see if it's the car for you...you may want to take a test drive to make sure that it's up to scratch before parting with your money....you would not want to end up with a heap of scrap that you regret buying now would you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually it's a site for swingers, but gets used by singles for sex

There is a social side to swinging people you are not going to have sex with but meet at clubs etc It's fun to be around like minded people not just vanilla's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Yep very wrong, its a SWINGERS site, if you want to fuck something on a first meet either find a Lady of the night or buy a blow up doll

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

How is a social meet the same as a date?

To be honest your attitude sucks of selfishness and entitlement which are traits few find attractive."

If I go on eharmony and meet women click and end up have sex but only stay friends I would be called a player so how is my attitude bad when u think ur right? It's jus a question I asked and judging someone on 1 question like u just did is very immature of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

How is a social meet the same as a date?

To be honest your attitude sucks of selfishness and entitlement which are traits few find attractive.

If I go on eharmony and meet women click and end up have sex but only stay friends I would be called a player so how is my attitude bad when u think ur right? It's jus a question I asked and judging someone on 1 question like u just did is very immature of you"

I'm not sure how you can complain about being judged when you made a statement and asked for judgement by asking if you are wrong...

I stand by my comment. You expect sex on the first meet and are dismissive of anyone that doesn't agree with that. I'd say that based on that selfish and entitled are fair observations. Really not sure where maturity (or lack of) comes in to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're wrong, sometimes people are different in the flesh. I'd be mortified if i met up with someone and we had sex because they felt they had to because they agreed to meet but turned out they didn't like me in the flesh.

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"A social meeting before agreeing to have sex with someone you've never met before is NOT the same as a date!

I get messages from people all the time with the same view as you and it drives me insane!!

If you were to meet someone for sex (without a social first) and they decided not to go ahead if, for example, they weren't attracted to you in the flesh (possibly having seen pics), would that not be a waste of time?

Some of us like to have sex with people we find mentally stimulating as well as physically. "

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"I'm always prepared to have sex on a first meeting as you are quite correct in saying that this site is intended for that sort of thing.

However I'm always prepared to say "no" if the guy turns out to be a complete wanker!

"

totally agree.....

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"You're wrong, sometimes people are different in the flesh. I'd be mortified if i met up with someone and we had sex because they felt they had to because they agreed to meet but turned out they didn't like me in the flesh.

"

I would hate that too much prefer honesty than feeling used

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By *atelotmanMan
over a year ago

Chatham


"A social meeting before agreeing to have sex with someone you've never met before is NOT the same as a date!

I get messages from people all the time with the same view as you and it drives me insane!!

If you were to meet someone for sex (without a social first) and they decided not to go ahead if, for example, they weren't attracted to you in the flesh (possibly having seen pics), would that not be a waste of time?

Some of us like to have sex with people we find mentally stimulating as well as physically. "

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London


"A social meeting before agreeing to have sex with someone you've never met before is NOT the same as a date!

I get messages from people all the time with the same view as you and it drives me insane!!

If you were to meet someone for sex (without a social first) and they decided not to go ahead if, for example, they weren't attracted to you in the flesh (possibly having seen pics), would that not be a waste of time?

Some of us like to have sex with people we find mentally stimulating as well as physically. "

This response is bang on the money.

As a single man you seem to have failed to grasp some of the social ethics of the scene in general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds to me like the OP may have been turned down once too many times!

I need to have a connection with anyone I'm thinking of having fun with, which means a social meet first. If it goes well then I don't rule out taking it further - IF that's what we BOTH want.

Too many single men on this site think that agreeing to meet is a guaranteed instant shag. I've cancelled potential meets and deleted men from my friends list for steering the conversation down that road and trying to tell me a social meet is a waste of time and why don't we just meet up at my house!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I definitely agree with the sentiment, this is a sex site not a dating site. I've been shot down for saying this before on other threads, but in my mind sites like POF are for dating.

I appreciate that people do find love on here, however sex is sex and love is love. This isn't the place to go and look for love otherwise there is likely to be serious disappointment

I do, however, advocate a social meet (with a view to sex) this gives the both parties the chance to walk away if the spark isn't there and a neutral and public environment takes the pressure away from a polite "nice to meet you but I'm not wanting to play"

Admitted I havent been on sex or dating sites, but unless speed dating has been redefined as a 'social' I dont see the connection at all.

In fet they do munches,

In swinging it's socials,

sex sites are for just sex.

Dating sites or to put together people for relationships.

Well in my head it is.

I attend socials and have been seen at munches but I just dont see this place as a sex site. Clues in the name up top "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With that attitude you won't get very far on here.

A social is to confirm I actually fancy the person and feel there is enough chemistry there to want to fuck them. I will not put myself in an unsafe position or cheapen myself by meeting a man to fuck him without so much as a hello drink or regardless of attraction.

I am not desperate and those are my standards, if a man won't respect me then there will be no meeting at all.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

See, this attitude really pisses me off!

It is not a sex site, it is a site for swinging which is about socialising as well!

The amount of men that seem to look at me as a form of prostitution but without having to pay anything is unbelievable, I mean, do visiting business men really think I am just sitting here, dressed to the nines, awaiting their 'in hotel now, fancy a meet for fun?'

Hang on, let me get my coat and I'll be round in 5 minutes....NOT!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

See, this attitude really pisses me off!

It is not a sex site, it is a site for swinging which is about socialising as well!

The amount of men that seem to look at me as a form of prostitution but without having to pay anything is unbelievable, I mean, do visiting business men really think I am just sitting here, dressed to the nines, awaiting their 'in hotel now, fancy a meet for fun?'

Hang on, let me get my coat and I'll be round in 5 minutes....NOT!!! "

*cancels Scottish business trip*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

See, this attitude really pisses me off!

It is not a sex site, it is a site for swinging which is about socialising as well!

The amount of men that seem to look at me as a form of prostitution but without having to pay anything is unbelievable, I mean, do visiting business men really think I am just sitting here, dressed to the nines, awaiting their 'in hotel now, fancy a meet for fun?'

Hang on, let me get my coat and I'll be round in 5 minutes....NOT!!! "

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"no, why should someone shag someone just because they have met up?

The point of socials is to meet someone new and see if you get on and have an attraction, if you don't - why would you want to shag them?

Try instashag "

that is so on the money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

So wrong! Yep just wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're wrong.

Also, referring to women as 'bitches' onn your profile probably won't endear you to most people.

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By *ach3Man
over a year ago

Watford

[Removed by poster at 03/12/13 20:31:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

They are on this site to swing. Yes that often involves sex but that's not the sole purpose of the site, otherwise why would there be a forum and a chatroom for more social interaction.

Some will meet for a social with the possibility of this leading directly to sex, but like to meet in a neutral environment first to make sure the person they are meeting is the person in the pics, check that there is the attraction there in the flesh for sex, and sometimes even that personal hygiene is taken care of! Being somewhere neutral can make them feel safer than being in a house with someone they've never met before...and can make it easier to say 'no thanks' and walk away from a meet they don't want rather than having to force someone out of the house!

Is it really such a hardship to go for a quick coffee to put someone's mind at ease and make a meet enjoyable?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

They are on this site to swing. Yes that often involves sex but that's not the sole purpose of the site, otherwise why would there be a forum and a chatroom for more social interaction.

Some will meet for a social with the possibility of this leading directly to sex, but like to meet in a neutral environment first to make sure the person they are meeting is the person in the pics, check that there is the attraction there in the flesh for sex, and sometimes even that personal hygiene is taken care of! Being somewhere neutral can make them feel safer than being in a house with someone they've never met before...and can make it easier to say 'no thanks' and walk away from a meet they don't want rather than having to force someone out of the house!

Is it really such a hardship to go for a quick coffee to put someone's mind at ease and make a meet enjoyable? "

Finally someone who has answered the question without making a judgement on my personality I really don't know the difference in sex and swinging sites but now I do and yes I love social meets just to get out and meet ppl. Far to many ppl stuck up there own arse talking about my attitude from asking a simple question

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By *eckyWithTheGoodHairWoman
over a year ago

glasgow


"actually it's a site for swingers, but gets used by singles for sex

There is a social side to swinging people you are not going to have sex with but meet at clubs etc It's fun to be around like minded people not just vanilla's"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?"

Some people prefer to have a social meet first- for safety, to see if there's attraction, for lots of reasons.

Some people prefer to meet and fuck straight away.

There's nothing wrong with either of those. As long as the people are happy it's all good.

Some people think 'their way' is the only way. Just ignore them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

They are on this site to swing. Yes that often involves sex but that's not the sole purpose of the site, otherwise why would there be a forum and a chatroom for more social interaction.

Some will meet for a social with the possibility of this leading directly to sex, but like to meet in a neutral environment first to make sure the person they are meeting is the person in the pics, check that there is the attraction there in the flesh for sex, and sometimes even that personal hygiene is taken care of! Being somewhere neutral can make them feel safer than being in a house with someone they've never met before...and can make it easier to say 'no thanks' and walk away from a meet they don't want rather than having to force someone out of the house!

Is it really such a hardship to go for a quick coffee to put someone's mind at ease and make a meet enjoyable?

Finally someone who has answered the question without making a judgement on my personality I really don't know the difference in sex and swinging sites but now I do and yes I love social meets just to get out and meet ppl. Far to many ppl stuck up there own arse talking about my attitude from asking a simple question"

what some people have answered is they consider, wanting to meet first is not about dating, how does that mean you're being judged.

You'd be surprised how many men here go on about relationships / dating etc personally makes me want to block as thats not what i'm here for there are all sorts on the site

Been on POF years ago, just as many on there just looking for sex.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"

Finally someone who has answered the question without making a judgement on my personality I really don't know the difference in sex and swinging sites but now I do and yes I love social meets just to get out and meet ppl. Far to many ppl stuck up there own arse talking about my attitude from asking a simple question"

No, I think you have missed the point! Your question/statement was actually quite derogatory! And others and myself pointed it out!

I also note you have changed some of the wording on your profile! Ie about 'the bitches'....(ish) though you still have a comment which is your purgative, lol so yes as long as you learn from stating what you initially thought the site was all about it's not being instashag!

Fingers crossed you have learned something and be more respectful, which will help you along the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't see this being a dating site, I have not seen one box of milk tray yet

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By *ussyGalore and Mr OCouple
over a year ago

A House


"I understand discretion and manners but if your not interested in sex on the first meeting from what u see then why are you on the site. If you want to date your clearly on the wrong type of site..... Am I wrong?

They are on this site to swing. Yes that often involves sex but that's not the sole purpose of the site, otherwise why would there be a forum and a chatroom for more social interaction.

Some will meet for a social with the possibility of this leading directly to sex, but like to meet in a neutral environment first to make sure the person they are meeting is the person in the pics, check that there is the attraction there in the flesh for sex, and sometimes even that personal hygiene is taken care of! Being somewhere neutral can make them feel safer than being in a house with someone they've never met before...and can make it easier to say 'no thanks' and walk away from a meet they don't want rather than having to force someone out of the house!

Is it really such a hardship to go for a quick coffee to put someone's mind at ease and make a meet enjoyable?

Finally someone who has answered the question without making a judgement on my personality I really don't know the difference in sex and swinging sites but now I do and yes I love social meets just to get out and meet ppl. Far to many ppl stuck up there own arse talking about my attitude from asking a simple question

what some people have answered is they consider, wanting to meet first is not about dating, how does that mean you're being judged.

You'd be surprised how many men here go on about relationships / dating etc personally makes me want to block as thats not what i'm here for there are all sorts on the site

Been on POF years ago, just as many on there just looking for sex."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does this site have to be labelled as a sex or dating site. Why can't it just be for like minded people who use it the way that suits them?

I will always meet soclally first, how can you tell what the person will be like in reality otherwise, they might turn out to be a complete fruitcake!

Each to their own though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why does this site have to be labelled as a sex or dating site. Why can't it just be for like minded people who use it the way that suits them?

I will always meet soclally first, how can you tell what the person will be like in reality otherwise, they might turn out to be a complete fruitcake!

Each to their own though "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Finally someone who has answered the question without making a judgement on my personality I really don't know the difference in sex and swinging sites but now I do and yes I love social meets just to get out and meet ppl. Far to many ppl stuck up there own arse talking about my attitude from asking a simple question

No, I think you have missed the point! Your question/statement was actually quite derogatory! And others and myself pointed it out!

I also note you have changed some of the wording on your profile! Ie about 'the bitches'....(ish) though you still have a comment which is your purgative, lol so yes as long as you learn from stating what you initially thought the site was all about it's not being instashag!

Fingers crossed you have learned something and be more respectful, which will help you along the way "

U keep pointing out they I said women are bitches I said nasty horrible stuck up women I call bitches because they are bitchy do u call them another name where u come from or are u trying to cause trouble for me?

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