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By *ightkitty4u OP   Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

Make an excuse and leave?

So you've been chatting to the person, swapped numbers had a spot of banter, build up, arranged to meet said person as they've jumped though all your hoops/passed the grade ticked your boxes

You then meet said person and realised you don't fancy them and can't see yourself in bed with them.... So you have a few drinks as meeting happened in public, still no urge to rip their clothes off..

How do you make you're excuses and run? Without being rude, nasty etc etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest with them?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

With difficulty.

I'm sat here trying to work out what to say to the chap I've met tonight. He went to the loo 3 hours ago and hasn't come back yet for me to make my excuses to.....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"With difficulty.

I'm sat here trying to work out what to say to the chap I've met tonight. He went to the loo 3 hours ago and hasn't come back yet for me to make my excuses to.....

"

the poor chap must be ill

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

social only meet first, that way excuses aren't needed.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I always have a social first and they know that I will let them know if I want to arrange a meet, once we've parted.

Unless I literally, fancy the pants off them then it becomes obvious.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Make an excuse and leave?

So you've been chatting to the person, swapped numbers had a spot of banter, build up, arranged to meet said person as they've jumped though all your hoops/passed the grade ticked your boxes

You then meet said person and realised you don't fancy them and can't see yourself in bed with them.... So you have a few drinks as meeting happened in public, still no urge to rip their clothes off..

How do you make you're excuses and run? Without being rude, nasty etc etc? "
Be assertive...I have enjoyed the evening but I don't think there is enough of a spark there to take it to the next level....yada yada yada

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the initial meet was only set up as a social - simply say "Right, thanks for the drinks and the chat, I must be going. I'll be in touch!"

Then leave it a couple of days and if he hasn't messaged giving you the opportunity to politely decline a second meet - simply send a brief PM saying it was nice to meet but you didn't feel you'd clicked.

Up to you if you block or simply hope he takes it well. Any decent guy would accept your decision and move on. If he becomes pushy then hit the B button!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"social only meet first, that way excuses aren't needed."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"social only meet first, that way excuses aren't needed."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As op's have said. Xx

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I say straight out to their face "it's been lovely meeting you but I'm not feeling that spark so I don't want to take things any further".

And if they are as described on their profile and have managed to not offend or embarrass me during our coffee meet I offer them a veri and wish them well. I think it's only fair to tell someone in person. It's easier to stay on pleasant terms with people that way.

Except for the one who had never been turned down before and thought I was joking. Even as I was leaving he kept asking if I really meant it!

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down


"With difficulty.

I'm sat here trying to work out what to say to the chap I've met tonight. He went to the loo 3 hours ago and hasn't come back yet for me to make my excuses to.....

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not many men responded to this question. Odd.

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By *taffsfella1Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

When that's happened we've both kind of realised there's no spark from body language etc. so there's never really been a need to make an excuse and leave. Just say thanks for a lovely evening and leave it at that

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By *ightkitty4u OP   Woman
over a year ago

Epsom

Thanks everyone, That's what I have done so far: Meet for a social first and go from there.

Glad to hear my theory on what to do is in line with others, Just feel a bit of a bitch saying "thanks for a lovely evening, alas I don't feel this can go further"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks everyone, That's what I have done so far: Meet for a social first and go from there.

Glad to hear my theory on what to do is in line with others, Just feel a bit of a bitch saying "thanks for a lovely evening, alas I don't feel this can go further" "

Why feel like a bitch?

You can only learn so much about people from profiles and even phone calls - the true picture is generally only obvious face to face.

I've heard many tales over the last few years of folk who seem fantasic via virtual interaction but when friends have actually met them they've found their personalities the complete opposite in reality - even to the extent of a couple of real horror stories where they've felt unsafe and very uncomfortable.

Thanks, but no thanks means the same face to face as it does via message - sometimes harder to say - but never feel you've done anything wrong by saying it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I met a lady once for a social, when I asked if she wanted to take things further, she said no. Quite an easy convo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing to feel bad about. Happens all the time. I wouldn't leave bough myself. Just let the 'date' run its natural course and take it from there afterwards (I.e. explain it's not me, it you)

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

if theres no spark its likely they feel the same way and conversation would be strained so just say you have to go and will verify them ... they will prob be relieved

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Hope that person isn't me

Nice ass

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks everyone, That's what I have done so far: Meet for a social first and go from there.

Glad to hear my theory on what to do is in line with others, Just feel a bit of a bitch saying "thanks for a lovely evening, alas I don't feel this can go further" "

There is no reason to feel that way. The alternative would be to have sex with someone when you don't really want to (and there have been threads on here where women have admitted to that).

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By *amie0151Man
over a year ago

Wallasey


"Make an excuse and leave?

So you've been chatting to the person, swapped numbers had a spot of banter, build up, arranged to meet said person as they've jumped though all your hoops/passed the grade ticked your boxes

You then meet said person and realised you don't fancy them and can't see yourself in bed with them.... So you have a few drinks as meeting happened in public, still no urge to rip their clothes off..

How do you make you're excuses and run? Without being rude, nasty etc etc? "

Be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty. I met someone from another site in my local (he'd driven quite a distance). Was OK. Adjourned to my cottage, more chat. He asked if I felt the spark, too - I said 'no'. He was disappointed but was gracious and just left. I felt sorry but couldn't lie.

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