FabSwingers.com forum: Really stupid jokes that make you chuckle

By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

......................................

There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says, ‘You man the guns; I’ll drive.'

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What is invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

SW1A1AA

What do you call a cow thats a sleep

Bulldozer

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By *oasterCockbumMan
over a year ago

Highway 61

Wots the difference tween an apple an an orange ??

A twix canny drive a tractor

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"What do you call a cow thats a sleep

Bulldozer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago

london

What goes ooooo?

A cow with no lips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man that wears paper trousers ? ......... Russell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's orange and sounds like a parrot.

A carrot.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What game would you play with a wombat?

Wom.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot.

A carrot. "

I love that one!

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

What do you call a monkey in a minefield??

A BABOOM!!

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

What do you call a deaf dog?...Anything you like, it can't hear you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two Snowmen chatting,,,,one say's can you smell carrots?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog has no nose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why did the baker have smelly hands?

cos he 'kneaded' a poo!

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What do you call a fish with no eye?

A fsh.

(Best heard rather than read)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dog has no nose. "

How does he smell? Badly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloke walks into a chip shop with a fish under his arm and says to the assistant, do you do fish cakes, yes , good job it his birthday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a robbery at my local wig factory last week and the police are combing the area.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield?

Its arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What game would you play with a wombat?

Sex

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"

"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.

To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you say 'gullible' slowly it sounds like oranges !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man walks into a bar

Ouch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

Who's there

Cowsgo

Cowsgo who

No they don't. Cows go moo

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

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By *ittall2020Man
over a year ago

Norwich

"There was a robbery at my local wig factory last week and the police are combing the area."

& one at the toilet factory too. The police have nothing to go on.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"If you say 'gullible' slowly it sounds like oranges !

Love it!

How about 'how do you confuse a wanker?'

'purple'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats green and smells of pork? kermits fingers

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you keep an idiot in suspense

I'll tell you tomorrow.

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By *r and missus for cockMan
over a year ago

bridgend

How do you confuse a lesbian ?

Purple !!

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"How do you confuse a lesbian ?

Purple !!"

Hey you nicked my joke and made it into a homophobic one! Not cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"why did the baker have smelly hands?

cos he 'kneaded' a poo!

Bork!!! But im chuckling!

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

(That is so me!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

What do you call a gorilla with a shotgun?

Sir...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two eggs boiling in a pan…….one egg says “ Phew it’s hot in here” the other egg thinks “fuk-me a talking egg”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur

A: A lickalotopis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?

Three feet of my cock up your ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

(That is so me!)"

Loving this thread!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?

Three feet of my cock up your ass.

But a chicken has 2 feet!!! So that's your joke fucked

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Two eggs boiling in a pan…….one egg says “ Phew it’s hot in here” the other egg thinks “fuk-me a talking egg”

That one made me LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?

Three feet of my cock up your ass.

But a chicken has 2 feet!!! So that's your joke fucked

derrrr they said "stupid" jokes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?

Three feet of my cock up your ass.

But a chicken has 2 feet!!! So that's your joke fucked

derrrr they said "stupid" jokes....

Ermmm just admit you messed up girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen! If you want to set up your own company and run it, that's your business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

A: The grass tickles their balls

And....1 ft was the actual chicken ....ner ner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

A: The grass tickles their balls

And....1 ft was the actual chicken ....ner ner "

Oh it's getting worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a good looking bloke in Yorkshire.

A tourist.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says "Nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die."

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

what goes " zub zub "

a bee flying backwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read a book about helium.

I couldn't put it down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A guy asks his waiter how they prepare their chicken. The waiter says "Nothin' special... we just flat out tell' em they're gonna die.""

Hhahahahah like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a good looking bloke in Yorkshire.

A tourist. "

Cheeky f##ker

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?

A: Her navel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a good looking bloke in Yorkshire.

A tourist.

Cheeky f##ker"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer?

A: The grass tickles their balls

And....1 ft was the actual chicken ....ner ner

Oh it's getting worse

I cant type a raspberry but you get the idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do u call a bunny with a bent dick?

FUCKS FUNNY

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's the matter, Bill? You look like hell.

I got home early last night and caught my wife having sex with my best friend.

Really, what did you do?

I threw my wife out of the house naked, grabbed my best friend by the throat and screamed at him ..... BAD DOG!!!

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By *uicylucy76Woman
over a year ago

thornton cleveleys

One did one constipated cat say to another... Have a break have a shit cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Russian with 3 testicles

Who'dyanickabollockoff

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By *ev-PMan
over a year ago

Hampshire

Two condoms walking past a gay bar.

One turns and asks the other, 'Fancy going in there and getting shit-faced?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the man wear a bowler hat

Because he'd look daft wearing a bowler soup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?? ...................

It had Mittens

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the penis say to the condom?

Cover me im going in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the guy from new ports one the hoody .hes brill .lol.poppyxx

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

glos

What's the difference between jelly and jam?

I can't jelly my cock up the Mrs's arse

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's yellow and flies through walls?

A magic banana.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do they call it the wonder bra?

When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the zoo last week but it only had one tiny dog in it.

It was a shih tzu.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

O god these are soooo good xx

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

A group of nursery children were trying very hard to become accustomed to the

reception class. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on

NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always

reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit

my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo choo."

She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use "Big

People' words."

She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book,"he replied.

That's wonderful !" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

Alec thought really hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride,

and said, "Winnie the Shit!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 words men don't want to hear " are you in "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the doctor the other day, and said to the doc "I think I'm going deaf!"

"really" replied the dr. "can you describe the symptoms"?

To which I replied "of course, Marge has blue hair, and Homer is yellow and a bit stupid"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 parrots sat on a perch. One says to the other "can you smell fish?"

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the 'E' out of 'Safe' and the 'F' out of 'Way'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the 'E' out of 'Safe' and the 'F' out of 'Way' "

there's no effing way!

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the 'E' out of 'Safe' and the 'F' out of 'Way'

there's no effing way!

Boom tish!

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

glos

"3 words men don't want to hear " are you in "

To which the 3 word reply is "I don't know!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 words men don't want to hear " are you in "

To which the 3 word reply is "I don't know!!!""

Or reply " if your lucky "

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By *lley-CatMan
over a year ago

Folkestone

Duck goes into a chemist & ask for some condoms.

Assistant says "Shall I put them on your bill?"

"What do you think I am" says the duck, "some kind of pervert?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a deer with no eyes.

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

Still no idea

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

what do you call a one eyed dinosaur

douthinkhesawus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a sheep without any legs? A cloud .

What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head .sister matitc .

What do you call a guy with a shovel on his head Doug .a guy without one douglas .

A guy with a seagull on his head cliff .lol.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call 2 male swingers fighting over a female swinger ?

Tug-of-whore

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What did O say to Q?

Hey, put that thing back into your trousers.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

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By *leepyangelCouple
over a year ago

over the hill and far away

"Bloke walks into a chip shop with a fish under his arm and says to the assistant, do you do fish cakes, yes , good job it his birthday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A packet of KP crisps went up to his two mates and offered them a lift into town.

They obviously declined. They were walkers.

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's green and when you get it stuck between your teeth, you die?

A tractor.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Tommy Cooper stood on stage with a piece of ham on a bone in his left hand.

'hu, hu, hu, West Ham'

transfer ham to right hand.

'East Ham'

drops ham, picks up a bone,

'Oldham.'

Cracked me up.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

"If you say 'gullible' slowly it sounds like oranges !

Can't believe I actually fell for that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tall woman walked pass my kitchen window she must of been tall I live on the 9th floor

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

What's white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been on bigbustycoons.com

Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.

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By *urvywelshCouple
over a year ago

Everywhere and nowhere baby

Two cannibals eating a clown.

One says "does this taste funny to you?"

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

"Just been on bigbustycoons.com

Damn, those guys have really good bus companies. "

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By *B9 Queen OP Woman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Two cannibals eating a clown.

One says "does this taste funny to you?""

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

I went into the chemist this afternoon and asked the lady behind the counter for a packet of _ruity ribbed condoms...she replied, I'm sorry sir we don't have any of them but have you tried boots?...I want to slide into her not fucking march!!...I said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice out isn't it?"

"Yes, I might get mine out later".

Eric Morecambe...I miss you so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman walks in to a pub and asks for a double entendre so the barman gave her one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloke next door knocked on my door yesterday and said...

Your dog keeps going for me....

So I told him ...

You can have it as it goes nowhere for me ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman tied to a pier?...............................................................................

Maud

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

did you hear about the cannibal who went to the toilet and then dumped his girlfriend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rusty bed springs..by..

I p nightly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do electricians drive?

...a Voltswagon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 owls playing pool and one pots the white.

he looks at his mate and says "2hitstoyou"

and his mate looks back and says "2hitstowho!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?

...don't look. I'm changing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't realise how many people on here rely on google for material ......

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By *ikeHWrexhamMan
over a year ago

Wrexham

Whats brown and funny?

Clown poo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 flies on a piece of shit, one burps the other says do you mind I'm eating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A girl goes to the gynecologist for the first time. She's up in the stirrups, and the doctor notices she's trembling. He says: You're nervous, aren't you?Yes, it's my first visit to a gynecologist.Would you like me to numb you down there?Oh, yes please.He sticks his face between her legs and goes Num, num, num.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

....your too young to smoke.

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By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock

whats acid rain and monkeys got in common ??? they both fuck up trees

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did here about the fly on the toilet seat ?

It got pissed off.

Venison, that's dear.

I bought a sarcastic washing machine. Takes the piss out your knickers.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

How do you stop a dinosaur from charging.....

Take away its credit card.

Lol. My sons joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the pervert cross the road?

.......

Because he couldnt get his knob out of the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man walks into a Butcher's shop and asks the man behind the counter:

"Do you have a sheep's head?"

and the butcher replies:

"No, it's just the way I comb my hair."

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By *ong-legged-divaTV/TS
over a year ago

Fleetwood

What's pink and fluffy? - pink fluff

What's blue and fluffy? - cold pink fluff

What's green and fluffy? - sick pick fluff

What's blue and square? - pink fluff in disguise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the magic tractor ...

it turned into a field

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By *uncouple31Couple
over a year ago

Walsall

"There was a robbery at my local wig factory last week and the police are combing the area.

& one at the toilet factory too. The police have nothing to go on. "

They also stole a mirror - police are looking into it.

They also stole a load of viagra - police are looking for hardened criminals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man walks into a bar with a frog in his head.

Barman says 'how did that get there?' To which the frog replies 'would you believe it started out as a wart on my bum?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All airbeds nicked from tent shop cops think thieves wil li lo for a while

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