FabSwingers.com forum: Lines of text that can put you off a profile

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Looking for my Mr Grey"

"We are a professional couple" (that actually wouldn't put me off at all, I just see it so many bloody times and I don't see how it's relevant, if you're an educated person then surely I'm going to be able to tell that by simply reading your profile)

"FIRST OF ALL SORRY TO SOUND NEGATIVE BUT..."

Any more for any more?

Feel free to tell me that people can put whatever they like on their profiles yadda yaddda yadda

Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bareback only!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bareback only!!!!

oooo good one!

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Sydney University and all the other legal warnings. I'm of the opinion that if you are going to threaten somebody you have to be prepared to carry it out.

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Educated.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When really ugly people make it sound like there stunning and say! " don't contact me if I want u I will contact u" and bla bla bout wat they want and us guys WILL obide or just be blocked Simple!! Aghhhh gets my bk up

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I'M NOT GAY SO STOP SENDING MESSAGES AND COCK PICS!!!!!!!

Along with other aggressive rants in place of simply setting filters. Usually in full caps and often far more offensive than the above.

Then they don't understand why I say no, cos I'm a woman so it isn't aimed at me!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

firstly I'm an educated ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional

Bareback

I like wearing womens clothes (man speaking)

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Big ego, probably the most laid back guy you will ever ever meet in your life

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I can lick all day.

I can breathe through my ears.

I don't bite unless you want me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" and a few exceptional males "

" gym fit "

plus those stupid black and white images made up from letters and numbers .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't comment on anyone's being that mines simply a period.

Will try anything.

That's the worst one. And when I get it in a message, after asking their limits and expectations, or I get told they'll do anything I want. They get this reply, plagiarised from the interwebs.

What I want to do to you is tie you to my bed, put a knife to your throat, cut off your air supply by putting my other hand over your nose and mouth and then light your cock on fire before I beat the crap out of you with a baseball bat until tears are running down your face. Then I want to untie you and drag you to the bathroom by your hair, start the bath running, and shove that baseball bat I was just beating you with up your ass while I hold your head under the water. I want to see the look of terror in your eyes and feel you shaking with fear before I bring you gently back to reality. Then… then I want to see the relief and gratitude on your face as you thank me.

Sorts the men from the boys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always turn up for a meet if arranged

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Ooh and "married and no she/he doesn't know I'm on here"

Anything about burgers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am genuine unlike the others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

VWE heavy cummer

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

"BBC",

"bareback",

"Sydney university"(so pointless, are you really going to take them the court?)

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

"VWE heavy cummer

here here !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bend you over, fill you up, then go"

Okay, I haven't actually seen that but I'm tempted to put it as my headline to amuse myself

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Anything comprised of text speak to the extent it can't be easily understood.

Proffesional.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Assorted code words and passwords to show you've read the profile. It won't stop people messaging.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"VWE heavy cummer

*shudder* Images of floundering, drowning in cum - yuk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People tell me im good looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any reference in name or in profile of football teams

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's a profile on here that once had the status update "who wants to get me pregnant?" and "who wants to buy me credit?"

The verifications on it are genuinely disturbing

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By *van dandoMan
over a year ago

pembs

its sometimes amusing to read a profile where they havent read it back to see how it reads/sounds to other people.

some come across aggressive as you have no right to breathe the same air as them or a "shopping list" of do's and dont's with the threat of blocking!!

some need to relax-and filter out the rude annoying w**kers using the tools of the site

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

'I' m so i inundated with messages that i cant reply to them all'.... Like yeh lol.

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Oh and 'athletic' when they are clearly a size 22.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Body type - fabulous

WHAT?!

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By *AURA6969TV/TS
over a year ago

RUGBY

Bareback only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anything comprised of text speak to the extent it can't be easily understood.

Proffesional."

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"I can't comment on anyone's being that mines simply a period.

Will try anything.

That's the worst one. And when I get it in a message, after asking their limits and expectations, or I get told they'll do anything I want. They get this reply, plagiarised from the interwebs.

Sorts the men from the boys.

Oh god I love that! I'm going to make up my own version of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" will fill in later" especially when they've been here over a year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Safe sex only

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)

Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Just "looking for fun" and nothing else.

"We're all here for the same thing"

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

""Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)

Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature."

Either that or they want John Major which is terrible taste of a different sort!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"" will fill in later" especially when they've been here over a year"

You can always counter that with "and that's exactly what I have planned for you later xx"

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Will fill in later - ask me what you want to know.

Annoying on a new profile, immediate turn off on a profile older than a few weeks.

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By *abulous cleavageWoman
over a year ago

Central

I'm a (insert age) male looking to meet women.

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By *ensual relaxationMan
over a year ago

south east

"" will fill in later" especially when they've been here over a year"

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By *averiMan
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol

'' so I'm told''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/11/13 08:48:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Owned by....'

...especially those that seemed to get 'owned' by a different person every bloody week. Owned and then disowned lol It just doesn't make sense.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I/We

Enjoy a good standard of living - I couldn't care less, hun, it's just a meet, I'm not moving in.

Bareback only - up to you, but I've been paying into a pension for years. I want to see that money.

If you are lucky enough for us to choose you - don't you mean if you are lucky enough that I don't just block you for being arrogant arseholes?

No Welsh - I'm not Welsh and crikey, I once had a Welsh Corporal who I disliked, but come on, they can't ALL be bad?

No GAY/BI/CD/TS/TV/TG/BSKYB - I respect your choice, but does it really need to be in capitals? I could end up with a complex, dontcha kno?

Expect a present bringing - is it Christmas already? Do I have time to send you my Christmas list, too? I've a few boxsets that I don't think anyone has ordered me.

and so on

(now off to check my profile for these things.)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Age, size, looks unimportant (i.e. I am so desperate I'll screw anything that will let me. I've even tried it on with my garden fence and the Henry).

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

""Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)

Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature.

Either that or they want John Major which is terrible taste of a different sort!"

Maybe they are an Edwina Currie lookalike!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Will meet 18-99

Really? I mean reeeeaaaallllyyyyy?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Age, size, looks unimportant (i.e. I am so desperate I'll screw anything that will let me. I've even tried it on with my garden fence and the Henry)."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Age, size, looks unimportant (i.e. I am so desperate I'll screw anything that will let me. I've even tried it on with my garden fence and the Henry)."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shouty lists tend to dampen any interest what-so-ever.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

The lists of demands and No Nos and Single Males we will look for you...

sorry for having the temerity to look and if I may be so 'umble, sorry for breathing your air. Dry your eyes, Princess, you aren't that special

Got that off my chest... a coffee and a relax with the more pleasant Fabbers in here, cheers

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:

We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.

It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!

....and breath.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.

Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)

Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.

Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!

I could go on but won't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:

We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.

It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!

....and breath.

Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

[Removed by poster at 25/11/13 09:05:34]

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:

We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.

It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!

....and breath.

Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge."

It's a serious fucking business!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.

Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)

Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.

Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!

I could go on but won't."

Rugby player build seems to be code for "I played a bit ten years ago (only amateur and only when they needed a sub) but I haven't played for years. Or done any other form of physical exertion - not that I exerted myself when I did play..."

They usually look like the ate the ball whole instead of chased it round a pitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you look beautiful ....even thou they havnt seen any pictures of you and those copy and paste messages !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text speak and no paragraphs arghhhh!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Looking for Mr Grey" (as quoted above)

Makes me think oh dear what terrible taste you have in literature."

That made me giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Copy and paste messages and cock pics with hi....

Feck the feck off im gay you set of twats! Lol

Gggrrrr lol pisses me right off lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bareback

I can make you squirt

Spend hours and hours on oral .......if they do it right they shouldn't need to lol

I want a slut

Fuck all holes

And way more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:

We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.

It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!

....and breath.

Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge.

It's a serious fucking business!

Oh !!! Is it !!?!?!! Shit ! That's where I have been going wrong !!!!!!!

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By *ansa87Couple
over a year ago

louthish

I love to give pussy a good pounding. I just think of a cat getting punched....

Major turn off

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes, agree with:

Overuse of the words 'fun' and 'play'. It's sex!! If I say I'm feeling playful I mean playful!!

'Good looking (so I'm told)...' aka false modesty.

'Heavy cummer' - bleuch!

'My balls are full/I need to cum' - not my problem, take responsibility for your own orgasm!

Profiles with nothing in 'I don't know what to say' - and yet you think we'll get on??

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"My major bugbear is something I don't think anyone else will agree with as it's something nearly everyone says but truly gets me snarling. I hate the overuse of the word fun. ie:

We're a fun couple just looking for fun with other fun couples. Or I'm a fun guy, just looking for fun, nsa just fun, message me for fun.

It's not fucking fun, it's fucking sex!

....and breath.

Sex is sport, all about getting your game face on, strapping on the nose bag and eating some serious vadge.

It's a serious fucking business!

Oh !!! Is it !!?!?!! Shit ! That's where I have been going wrong !!!!!!!

Yep that's the problem, stop having fun, get down some serious work!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beautiful people looking for the same

Bareback

And why O why does anybody put a mobile number in a profile

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Any reference to spotty arses or pubic cycling shorts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sydney

one line text been here before no profile

bad spelling

saying there single but bring partner

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Read profiles? Is this a new concept, I only look at the pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sydney

one line text been here before no profile

bad spelling

saying there single but bring partner

You been reading my profile !!!!! Oooh soz !!!

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"sydney

one line text been here before no profile

bad spelling

saying there single but bring partner

Bad Grammar!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a curvy woman (check pics...round more like)

athletic male (check pics...knitting needle arms and flat chest)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have an issue with the profiles that just say "I'm new here" when they've been here for over a year & are verified.

Also think it's suspicious when ages don't match, eg profile days 28 but text says 24 (and only been here 2 weeks)

Rugby player build. Is that Matt Dawson or Ben Cohen ad they have very different builds and it usually means chunky.

Finally profiles that say smokers that when you say you don't meet smokers day they selected it in error and are actually non smokers....yeah right!

I could go on but won't.

They usually look like the ate the ball whole instead of chased it round a pitch.

rugby player build on fab means fat,where as nik was foaming at the mouth watching rugby league this weekend.the rugby players on here must have never seen a game let alone played

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

ANYTHING IN CAPITALS

When more than x2 exclamation marks are used.

!!! - Thats how wars are started

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton

"Ooh and "married and no she/he doesn't know I'm on here""

Or, from the opposite perspective, "No marrieds".

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton

Add to that "We are very happily married and have a great sex life, but we want more". Talk about kicking you while you're down!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I love squirters/gushers'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a heavy cummer, can make you squirt, see my verifications from satisfied customers.

If you dont like fat old grannies who arent very lively and have to use lots of lube, jog on by.

will try anything twice, looking for ladies who dress to impress.

Looking for ladies who are well educated and like to talk a lot.

like to meet for drink first to see if we click.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"'I love squirters/gushers' "

What they mean is they love gushers up until the point of having to wash the sheets after

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

SHOUTY profiles that are just full of moans and whinges or you must do this and you must do that, you should bow down and kiss my feet!

Will fill in later.....or the I am crap at writing profiles so ask me anything you want to know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read profiles? Is this a new concept, I only look at the pictures

I was going to say that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuine couples only, no fuck buddies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SHOUTY profiles that are just full of moans and whinges or you must do this and you must do that, you should bow down and kiss my feet!

Will fill in later.....or the I am crap at writing profiles so ask me anything you want to know.

They sound agresive and you wouldnt want to meet them in case they were grumpy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im new be gentle! When they been on site over a year! Lazy!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marry me.

Ok I haven't seen it on a profile yet but I wanted to put a pigeon amongst the pussies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Professional snobbery, a genuine person is a " genuine person" whatever walk of life

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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

NSA

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance

"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex

"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity

"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything

"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB

I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anything comprised of text speak to the extent it can't be easily understood.

Proffesional.

Those who claim to be "professional" yet cant spell it.

Singles who always come with a +1 and dont meet without them.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"NSA "

Damn! I knew they were reading our emails, since Snowden told us, but I did hope they weren't checking my messages on here, too.

Another one to add to my list - I'm 100% straight - I see a lot of this on profiles of guys who have sent me a message asking to do something depraved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i suck cock like a porn star.

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

Any promise to 'destroy' a delicate part of my anatomy. Errrrr no thanks I quite like it all being left intact thanks

T xx

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Most of the above..

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I can't go searching for myself, because most of the males profiles are along the lines of:

Here looking for fun with women....

Well no shit Sherlock!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"i suck cock like a porn star.

Anyone who goes on about how great they are at sex and how they are the best ever!

*yawns*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Updates that say thing like.....

"What a night. Thank you. You know who you are"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes avoid I'm this I'm that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't go searching for myself, because most of the males profiles are along the lines of:

Here looking for fun with women....

Well no shit Sherlock!

Well,

They say that, but many are really looking for guys, but yet are in the closet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any promise to 'destroy' a delicate part of my anatomy. Errrrr no thanks I quite like it all being left intact thanks

T xx "

Such a turn off

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance

"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex

"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity

"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything

"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB

I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger

"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"

That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Age colour size not important == desperate .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Age colour size not important == desperate .

i like those.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I can't go searching for myself, because most of the males profiles are along the lines of:

Here looking for fun with women....

Well no shit Sherlock!

Well,

They say that, but many are really looking for guys, but yet are in the closet!

Tell me about it! That's why I love the 'private notes' Just to remind myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No timewasters. could that phrase be any more useless?

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"Age colour size not important == desperate .

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Updates that say thing like.....

"What a night. Thank you. You know who you are""

Same with status's. 'You know who you are' - Well either inbox them, or inbox them again.

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance

"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex

"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity

"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything

"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB

I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger

"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"

That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun!"

it is down to peoples choice but any reference to ethnicity/race is an instant turn-off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"- clearly i have no chance

"Owned by xxxxx" - i dont believe anyone is anyone elses property even in the sub/dom perspective of sex

"BBC only" - fine its a preference but i dont like stereotyping a race/ethnicity

"Bareback" - do i really have to say anything

"Fuck buddies" - just a term i do not like. Much prefer FWB

I could go on at this all day or i'm just a picky bugger

"Not interested in black or asians" or "caucasian/white only"

That's a definite turn off, even worse than the overuse of fun!

it is down to peoples choice but any reference to ethnicity/race is an instant turn-off"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Jog on" - I don't jog my boobs would hurt.

"Only fit people need apply" - I'm fit but I'm fat too.

"Discrete"

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

""Jog on" - I don't jog my boobs would hurt.

"Only fit people need apply" - I'm fit but I'm fat too.

"Discrete""

women with white shirts showing their curves bursting out the seems - sorry wrong thread that's a turn on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bareback

I'm a bbw if you dont like walk on by - when they have pics

Professional/educated

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