FabSwingers.com forum: Do I stay or do I go

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After separating from my wife at the beginning of the year I joined fab and have had some fun, we have decided to try again but taking it slow and still living apart.

So not sure if I should leave this amazing site or still enjoy it till things get more serious!

What would you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.... ask her to join you here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it isnt going to work if you stay on here without her knowledge.

Honesty is the most important part of any relationship.

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"After separating from my wife at the beginning of the year I joined fab and have had some fun, we have decided to try again but taking it slow and still living apart.

So not sure if I should leave this amazing site or still enjoy it till things get more serious!

What would you do?"

what do you value more your marriage or fabs

Not saying you should go but maybe put fabs in hold till you have decided where lifes going for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well it isnt going to work if you stay on here without her knowledge.

Honesty is the most important part of any relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... ask her to join you here.

What would she say if she knew you were on Fab

TBH if you really want to get back with her what are you doing on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on if your going to tell her your on here or not if not then ask yourself if you are ready to be in a relationship cos if your not telling her the truth best to give up now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... ask her to join you here.

Yeah, great way to kick start a marriage reconcilliation, sleep with other people!

I wonder if you should, for the moment, hide your profile. If things don't work out then you can return, but if they do you can delete your profile here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you know how she would respond, so decide based on that and which is most important to you.

you can always come back to fab, but will you get another opportunity with your wife ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was me I would put 100% into making it work and give this up ......... knowing its there if I wish to ever come back if it don't work out .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We discussed joining this when we were together ( I suggested and she told me never gonna happen)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We discussed joining this when we were together ( I suggested and she told me never gonna happen) "

So IF YOU REALLY want her back then delete your profile NOW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... ask her to join you here.

Yeah, great way to kick start a marriage reconcilliation, sleep with other people!

I wonder if you should, for the moment, hide your profile. If things don't work out then you can return, but if they do you can delete your profile here."

Stupid answer to - in my eyes - a stupid question.

If I was looking to reconcile my relationship and marriage I wouldn't be asking strangers on a forum what I should do ...... I'd leave the site end of story. Come back if it doesn't work out.

100% commitment or none at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you cant give your marriage 100% while still looking for casual sex elsewhere.

either give this up, or give her up, as its not fair to go at a rekindling half hearted.

hope it works out for you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We discussed joining this when we were together ( I suggested and she told me never gonna happen) "

So ask yourself the question...whats more important...being serious about making your marriage work or fucking random women you meet on the internet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After separating from my wife at the beginning of the year I joined fab and have had some fun, we have decided to try again but taking it slow and still living apart.

So not sure if I should leave this amazing site or still enjoy it till things get more serious!

What would you do?"

You have the chance to try and make your marriage work! Your wife has already given you her opinion on what she thinks of swinging!

I personally think you should give your marriage 100% for it to work!

So I would delete the account!

Surprised that you have had to ask this question!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We discussed joining this when we were together ( I suggested and she told me never gonna happen)

So ask yourself the question...whats more important...being serious about making your marriage work or fucking random women you meet on the internet..."

dont ask a bloke to make the decision.

its a long life lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask yourself this, if the shoe were on the other foot, and you found out she was still having casual sex and not putting 100% in to the relationship, how would you feel?

Depending on that answer will tell you how you feel about your marriage.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand what everyone is saying the only thing that makes me wonder if I should stay is we are just dating again and only get to see each other a couple of weekends a month due to work

Maybe need to find a new hobby lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so are you, or are you not being exclusive in this new set up?

is she allowed to see other people or is she dating you and you alone?just asking like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like your just looking for justification to keep on swinging.

Only you know if you want to make it work,only you can make the call.

If being on here is more important,then "CARRY ON SWINGING"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well it isnt going to work if you stay on here without her knowledge.

Honesty is the most important part of any relationship.

Was that one for the women?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted"
well you not giving her 100 % you're keeping your options open doing that . Maybe just mates maybe better . She could get a STD from one of your meets and you would be in for it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted"

Seems to me you want your cake and to eat it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted"

That's rubbish. The thing is that lies will always get found out in the end and then you will both get hurt.

I agree with some others that it sounds a bit like you want to carry on swinging and want us to justify it.

I also want to take back my suggestion to hide your profile. I do think you need to give 100% to this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After separating from my wife at the beginning of the year I joined fab and have had some fun, we have decided to try again but taking it slow and still living apart.

So not sure if I should leave this amazing site or still enjoy it till things get more serious!

What would you do?

what do you value more your marriage or fabs

Not saying you should go but maybe put fabs in hold till you have decided where lifes going for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted"

Seems like you have a more fundamental decision to make, are you going to do your thinking with the big head or be controlled be the wee head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you really asking us whether you should stay onhere or give ur marriage another shot?

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

What you don't know doesn't hurt????

Really? ?

So lets just say your ex that you are trying to date again starts having sex with lots of men and bareback each time behind your back. In your theory it cant hurt you as you dont know. Of course it can. Its dangerous and the point when you find out you put all your energy and time into making it work again you find out she has slept with all of Scotland its gonna hurt like hell.

Decide what's important. Fab or the relationship. If its the relationship then hide your profile.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"No she isn't I don't think lol

We are not exclusive we are dating she wouldn't want me seeing anyone else but part of me thinks what she don't know can't hurt her

And before someone says how would you like it? The answer is if I don't know it can't hurt me!

Life is about going forwards and not back. There is a reason you broke up and what matters is if that reason is still there or not.

Could getting back just be prolonging the inevitable? That being divorce. Lovr is not enough to make a relationship work. You need trust and honesty too. Above all else respect. Respect her enough to be honest about doing this while you were not together and that may help build trust.

Good luck to you I what ever you decide.

T xx

Don't get me wrong if things went right and we were back together officially that would be it account would be deleted"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/13 16:52:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you do?"

Who are you shooting?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the fact that you are still trying to justify staying in here with the old "what she font know won't hurt her" speaks volumes, the only thing that one could possibly justify staying on here is if you have made loads of good friends on here and you would miss the banter, but that never came up, so either stop this now, admit to her that you swing and you can't/don't want to stop, or leave the site if your not up front about how you feel you will lose her forever and she will end up hating you, if you care about her do the right thing either way

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

"We discussed joining this when we were together ( I suggested and she told me never gonna happen) "

not really a discussion then was it ?

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