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ladys advice please

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

As you all probably know by now as I do tend to go on a bit iv a doughter who's pretty much my world. shes turned 11 an judging by how much bigger than her mum is taking after me ie tall an developing early an fast an of late is throwing some real strops with her mum an sort of trying her luck with me but knows not to go as far with me. Given her age an the compleat change in her I recon it got to be her hormones kicking in so my questain is although I know her mums done the period talk how do I your normal stupid bloke who knows fuck all about all this help her. It kills me seeing her so upset cos she cant understand herself why she gets in moods like shes is an can't explain to us whats wrong. So any ideas an advice would be great ??? Gota go out so will check later but please no piss takes if that's posible

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By *adyluck99Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

Hi

Can't be easy for a dad on his own, and she will push you to the limits lol just remember that in a few years she will return to being something close to sane and maybe even be giving less lip. Know I was a nightmare for my parents. Her mum will prob get the worst of it tho if that helps lol.

Just be there for her, keep chocolate handy lol try to get that she's not a little girl any more and is turning into a young lady, and will be interested in different things. Explain about being treated more grown up has to be deserved, that will be a frequent bone of contention. Also try and slip in the respect thing. It won't always be easy. There are bound to be some helpful books on the subject, maybe try amazon. Developing is not easy either and it's different for all girls, how they accept it, fight it, or just go with it. Just be her dad, love her and try talking with her. She may open up to you, this is where a book may help

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get in touch with your School Nurse. They can point you in the right direction. Contsct vis school. Dependent on what is available in your area they may offer growing up talks to her year group. Alternatively I bought my daughters a book by osbourne press. Can't remember the name but it covered the basic pubity issues and was very usesful. I gave them a cooy and just said come to me if you want to talk. That opened up the conversation. II'll try and find out the name of the book. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a mother with 3 daughters all I can say is there is bugger all you can do, the mood swings are perfectly normal, she will tell you she hates you as she slams the door at least 100 times from now till shes about 16 you just have to ride it out

sorry lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The book is called "what is happening to me? (Facts of life girls edition) By susan meredith. £5 on amazon. It covers a very wide range of issues like hygiene, hormones, sanitary protection, bras etc and is geared towards the pre teen market. And no i'm not on commission lol.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Ok list do far chocolate an do some home work both good ideas id not thought about great stuff keep em coming an thanks so far. In all fairness I really couldn't have picked a better mum to have a child with as she wasn't planned. Terable choice in gf like but that's normal for me lol.i agree her mum is gona get the brunt of it an already is but im far from a normal wk end dad (no offence intended lads just my way an it suck) it was easy with my son if you can call it easy with boys or girl but now im so out my depth its untrue. as said I no her mums 100% with her but I can't an won't leave it all to her my babys lost confused an can't understand what happening to her an has always been daddys girl an I see her hurting an by fuck that hurts me to

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"The book is called "what is happening to me? (Facts of life girls edition) By susan meredith. £5 on amazon. It covers a very wide range of issues like hygiene, hormones, sanitary protection, bras etc and is geared towards the pre teen market. And no i'm not on commission lol."

wow thanks so much sounds perfect x

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By *bw48Woman
over a year ago

warrington

aw wot a lovely dad u are hun x wish my sons dad was like u x my sons 14 n autistic so im not sure if his moods r hormones or his condition lol im sure as long as ur very lucky daughter has u n her mum she will b just fine with u both behind her x

wish my mum had told me about growing up I thought I was dyin wen I got my 1st period felt like "Carrie" x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The book is called "what is happening to me? (Facts of life girls edition) By susan meredith. £5 on amazon. It covers a very wide range of issues like hygiene, hormones, sanitary protection, bras etc and is geared towards the pre teen market. And no i'm not on commission lol.

wow thanks so much sounds perfect x"

No problem hun. Got my two daughters through puberty. Maybe an idea to have a flick through the book yourself first and then brace yourself for pads versus tampons debate lol. At the very least the book covers the main topics (mood swings being one)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Just keep the lines of communication open. Treat her like your little girl sometimes but start giving her more autonomy and respect her decisions. Don't take too much nonsense from her. She still has to have boundaries. Listen to her and be there.

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By *lentyoffun40Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

Maintain boundaries

Speak to your ex .. Even though your are separated she's your daughter and you still need to be consistent as parents .. Communication is key to it all

Mum might be the best to have the Girly talk and you may be better on boundaries .. If she knows where to draw the line with you it's clear her mum is weaker on this side of things

Key thing again is the boundaries are mirrored at yours and her mums

Sit down and talk to her .. Send her loads of texts .. At least one a day . Even if its just to say hi your dad here always here for a chat if you want

Chances are she will never ask you but for her just knowing your there will be essential and something good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The book is called "what is happening to me? (Facts of life girls edition) By susan meredith. £5 on amazon. It covers a very wide range of issues like hygiene, hormones, sanitary protection, bras etc and is geared towards the pre teen market. And no i'm not on commission lol."

I got my daughter this book. Helped her a lot to understand the changes her body was going through. She wasn't one for slamming doors. More the look that would kill at a 100yrds. She's coming up to 16 now. And is almost back to a normal talkative teenager.lol Just be there for her. But don't over crowd her or she may bite.....

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

With you Mr blade, my eldest girl had her first period about 2 months ago, I don t know who was more upset her or me for not being able to help her fully,,

I know who was more confused, pity kids don t come with instruction books :-,) I m reading this thread with a lot of interest

I ve anpther girl so hopefully I ll know a lot more by the tine she needs my help,, ,

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Iv just got in an got to say thanks for all the very good advice all im touched. Its not often im clueless about anything but on this 1 for obvious reasons im clueless apart from the obvious bits of course. Most of what's been said id already sort of figerd the being there for her letting her vent but not allow it to go to far an of course do ny best to try an understand whitch I do obvisly but the details are alien to me. Im really lucky in that apert from when im on nights I can see her pretty much daily an now after our split an the passing of time me an her mum are very good friend we split up about 8 yrs ago now an from the start we agreed us parting must not effect her an on the houl agree on most things to do with her but as shes since had anther child an her partner has 2 himself from a past relationship its a bizy house not to mention load at times with a fair bit of shouting with 4 of em in all an our child is the oldest. Thats why she never even trys with me an never shout I just put my strern voice on an she crumbles its quite amusing really lmao

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

My 13 year old gets the most horrendous mood swings a few days before she is due on. She understands it's her hormones and she gets frustrated a lot by not having control. I tend to ignore her strops and just let her get it out of her system and if she needs to shout at me I take it in my stride. Unless she starts to take it out on her 7 year old sister at which point she is sent to her room. She then jusy sits in her den and listens to music and chats with friends. Generally when

she is mire calmer and herself again she does say sorry. I never force an apology from her though as they will just be insincere and pointless.

Lots of good advice just don't indulge the chocolate too often unless for a face pack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say have a chat with her form tutor at school and enquire what information they provide to girls. I know I was told all about periods and what to expect in my last yr at primary so when my parents tried to broach the issue I was like, please don't, I already know about the blood and mood stuff!

Maybe just buy in a single pack of always towels and keep them hidden lest she start her periods at yours, that avoids any shop trip nightmares, and they'll last years if she doesn't need them for years. keep cool about the whole thing, don't make a fuss as one whiff of discomfort from you will be picked up at 100 yards

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"I'd say have a chat with her form tutor at school and enquire what information they provide to girls. I know I was told all about periods and what to expect in my last yr at primary so when my parents tried to broach the issue I was like, please don't, I already know about the blood and mood stuff!

Maybe just buy in a single pack of always towels and keep them hidden lest she start her periods at yours, that avoids any shop trip nightmares, and they'll last years if she doesn't need them for years. keep cool about the whole thing, don't make a fuss as one whiff of discomfort from you will be picked up at 100 yards "

Ah ye again somthing id not thought of getting towel's in an id guess a size isn't to important although thinking about it I can get her mum to get em an give them me. It seems like she's way to young for all this poor things only 11 but as I said all the sighns are there an belive it or not my son her half brother started with his moods at 9ish whitch again was way to early. his body had so out grew his head he was so tall an developed by 10 youd not belive me if I told you half of it an by then wasn't far from 6ft an had found his fists an used em too. now at 24 he stands 6ft8 in bare feet. even though I knew what was going on for him how much can you tell them at 9/10 it was crazy his head was his age but body of a 15/16 yr old the poor sod but she is already taller than her mum so again im thinking its gona be anther ruff 1 but feel a bit better about it after reading the posts on here but fully admit the 1st bf is gona be a real test for me and her brother come to that hes as protective as me the poor lads gona brike it when he meet me then him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let her know it's okay to feel however she does, and that your arms are wide open for any (inevitable) strops, meltdowns, after arguments or for advice.

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By *ire_blade OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Yep that 1s all done. As I said above think shes sick of hearing we love the bones of her but its always been that way an possibly do go a little over board in that way as I now to well how not hearing or for that matter feeling it can be as I grew up very quickly after being put in care by my own so called mother but that's what made a man of me an whati am today

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