FabSwingers.com forum: Not for me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The new thanks, but no thanks.

The merits of replying and facing vitriol or ignoring.

I prefer the replies and am always polite, but can imagine some don't handle rejection that well?

What say you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Btw this follows on from a reply earlier this evening and a perfectly lovely chat with a soon to be masterchef contestant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The new thanks, but no thanks.

The merits of replying and facing vitriol or ignoring.

I prefer the replies and am always polite, but can imagine some don't handle rejection that well?

What say you?"
I would agree some don't handle it well.Some do though, I always try to be nice unless someone is obnoxious, which is rare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

Feels like the work discussion i regularly have....

Strategic benefit - time saved to concentrate on core purpose.

Operational benefit - enhances all user experiemce and is reputationally beneficial.

You are probably right that it depends on your point of view.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

Feels like the work discussion i regularly have....

Strategic benefit - time saved to concentrate on core purpose.

Operational benefit - enhances all user experiemce and is reputationally beneficial.

You are probably right that it depends on your point of view."

it doesnt enhance this user experience when i have to answer 'why not' messages or even the 'get over yourself' messages though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

Feels like the work discussion i regularly have....

Strategic benefit - time saved to concentrate on core purpose.

Operational benefit - enhances all user experiemce and is reputationally beneficial.

You are probably right that it depends on your point of view.

it doesnt enhance this user experience when i have to answer 'why not' messages or even the 'get over yourself' messages though"
You don't have to answer, just ignore.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

Feels like the work discussion i regularly have....

Strategic benefit - time saved to concentrate on core purpose.

Operational benefit - enhances all user experiemce and is reputationally beneficial.

You are probably right that it depends on your point of view.

it doesnt enhance this user experience when i have to answer 'why not' messages or even the 'get over yourself' messages thoughYou don't have to answer, just ignore."

i know, i was trying to point out the flaw in the OP's reasoning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its everyone's individual choice what they do or do not do as we see it. There is no right or wrong just a selection of alternatives.

Feels like the work discussion i regularly have....

Strategic benefit - time saved to concentrate on core purpose.

Operational benefit - enhances all user experiemce and is reputationally beneficial.

You are probably right that it depends on your point of view.

it doesnt enhance this user experience when i have to answer 'why not' messages or even the 'get over yourself' messages thoughYou don't have to answer, just ignore.

i know, i was trying to point out the flaw in the OP's reasoning

"
I have said no to a few guys tonight, one of the guys was particularly charming and we had a great chat, but as you say if they ask why, or get a bit tetchy, its then I will ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They are all valid opinions... i suppose it is at what stage you choose to ignore?

Maybe an automatic no thanks reply button that returns a std message as personalised by the user and prohibits the instigator contacting them again for say 28 days.

Most people have calmed down by then

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

Beauty is subjective.

Respect, manners and politeness are less so.

I too always reply but then again i am not innundated with 100+ messages a day!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

Beauty is subjective.

Respect, manners and politeness are less so.

I too always reply but then again i am not innundated with 100+ messages a day!!"

I agree about the beauty thing but we know alot of people go for looks first, that's their choice and would never judge anyone for that.

We have some lovely people attend our parties and some really hot guys, and because they look gorgeous I tend to steer clear of them and make way for the slim hot babes lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

Beauty is subjective.

Respect, manners and politeness are less so.

I too always reply but then again i am not innundated with 100+ messages a day!!

I agree about the beauty thing but we know alot of people go for looks first, that's their choice and would never judge anyone for that.

We have some lovely people attend our parties and some really hot guys, and because they look gorgeous I tend to steer clear of them and make way for the slim hot babes lol

Quite partial to a hot babe myself...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hence why I dont approach anyone. Even after losing four stones I still haven't got the guts to go for it (so to speak lol)

I know my place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

Beauty is subjective.

Respect, manners and politeness are less so.

I too always reply but then again i am not innundated with 100+ messages a day!!

I agree about the beauty thing but we know alot of people go for looks first, that's their choice and would never judge anyone for that.

We have some lovely people attend our parties and some really hot guys, and because they look gorgeous I tend to steer clear of them and make way for the slim hot babes lol

Quite partial to a hot babe myself...

What happens when someone notices YOU have viewed their profile and said nothing! This could also be considered rude...but I didn't take offense

Different strokes for different folks really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it doesnt enhance this user experience when i have to answer 'why not' messages or even the 'get over yourself' messages though"

this...you be polite, you reply in the kindest way you can so as not to offend and get a barrage of abuse or cockyness...block is then your friend

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Can also be annoying when you get the same messages from people who have already asked to meet....they just say "Was hoping you may have changed your mind" or "If you are a lose end"

Im afraid if someone asks me why I have said no then I have to tell them straight but politely

I will only ignore the arseholes

xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hence why I dont approach anyone. Even after losing four stones I still haven't got the guts to go for it (so to speak lol)

I know my place

Plonker, you look great and don't look 52

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By *ob and VixenCouple
over a year ago

Doncaster

"If we get a thanks but no thanks we usually reply saying 'thanks for replying, much appreciated have fun xx'

We know we aren't beautiful people and may scare some away lol

you look great to us xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it preferable for people to reply, even to say no. I know nobody is everyone's cup of tea!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"They are all valid opinions... i suppose it is at what stage you choose to ignore?

Maybe an automatic no thanks reply button that returns a std message as personalised by the user and prohibits the instigator contacting them again for say 28 days.

Most people have calmed down by then "

They won't have. They will get Horny and they will try again. My block list is full of people that I have politely declined up to 3 Times. After that I tell them I am going to block them go save me having to do it again.

Why can't people just accept that no reply is a no thank you? Nog sure how a bunch of rejection emails helps a person if I'm honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then theres the ones that give you dogs abuse for saying no thanks then block you so you cant reply!...they make me laugh !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They are all valid opinions... i suppose it is at what stage you choose to ignore?

Maybe an automatic no thanks reply button that returns a std message as personalised by the user and prohibits the instigator contacting them again for say 28 days.

Most people have calmed down by then "

Ignoring the pointlessness of automated thanks but no thanks messages, why would you want or need to contact someone a month later who has already declined meeting you. Can you not take no for an answer?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not all automations are pointless.

Out of office

Thanks for your complaint it has been received we will respond within xx days.

Personally, i am now chatting to 2 people who deleted my first (admittedly poor) attempts at messaging from months earlier.

The longer i was here the more i learned that i was projecting an image i thought the ladies wanted but in time i just worked out to be myself was actually more rewarding.

Should people not be allowed to grow, explore and find more about their true and learned characteristics?

I am playing devils advocate hetr btw. I do not have all the answers

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