FabSwingers.com forum: crap jokes let's here them

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What's red and smells of blue paint? Red paint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats long, brown and sticky?

a stick

whats black and white and eats like a horse?

a zebra.

whats yellow and dangerous?

shark infested custard.

whats got green and brown, got 6 legs and would kill you if it jumped out of a tree?

a snooker table

ifyou had 1 green ball in your left hand, and one in your right hand, what would you have?

total control of the jolly green giant.

why does it take 5 women with PMT to change a lightbulb?

CUZ IT JUST DOES!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a snail with a train on its back........squashed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a snail and wanted it to be faster, so i took his shell off, but now it looks more sluggish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a bit of a thing for anti-jokes at the moment:

Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes?

Because he uses the best ingredients.

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By *padger1066Man
over a year ago

Out and about

Knock knock!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Rap is 75% crap,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats the difference between God and Bono?..............God doesn't think he is Bono ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Jewish bloke walks into asda and went up up to a colleague who was constantly doing announcements and asked him do asda roll everything back? The colleagues response was "if you can find me one thing we can't rollback, I will stop making these announcements as I know some people don't like it and want quiet when they shop". Other bloke replied "great as I hate people shouting offers over a microphone. So I'll get back to you." Next day the Jewish bloke walks back into asda again and the same colleague is making announcements. So he walks up to him and goes "can you shut up as you are annoying me with your announcements". He replied "can you name me one thing either myself or asda can't rollback" The Jewish blokes drops his trousers and pants and says "roll that back then !!!"

Then he walks away and says "problem solved

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

Why did they bury the fireman behind the hill?...coz he was dead!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i had a snail and wanted it to be faster, so i took his shell off, but now it looks more sluggish"

That doesn't count coz it's funny!!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

whats small red and whispers ?

a horse radish !

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

What's the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong landed on the moon and micheal Jackson touched kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ed Balls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the union player cross the road?

Because he was out of his league!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't hear a vitamin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's green and hangs from trees ?

Leaves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's e.t short for?....

.... Because he's got little legs

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

How do you burn an irish man ?

Phone him up whilst he is ironing !!

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

"What is the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't hear a vitamin"

(thumb

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man goes into a café, and orders a pie. After paying for it, he puts it on his head and walks out, much to the owners confusion. The next day, he returns to the café, orders another pie, and again walks out with it on his head for some strange reason?

Anyway, by now the café owner was very confused, so pretended to be out of pies when the man came in and asked for one on the third day, 'Alright, I'll have a packet crisps instead then' said the man. He then puts the packet of crisps on his head and proceeds to walk out of the café. By now the café owner just cannot contain his curiosity any longer, and chases the man down the street.

'Sir, WHY do you have a packet of crisps on your head?' he asks

'Because you've sold out of pies!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, here goes :

Paddy opened his pay packet to find some shit in there. Outraged, really, he asked the wages clerk what it was for.

"Well, you worked overtime didn't you. It's paid at time and a turd."

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Whats got wings & sucks blood?

Always Ultra

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

What do ya call a donkey with 3 legs? Wonkey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Knock knock!"

Poo's there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Because he had his cock up the chicken.

Tad ah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the horse say when he came out of the freezer?

Brrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the horse say when he came out of the freezer?

Brrrrrrrrrr"

This works better in real life.

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By *athfindersCouple
over a year ago

Hull

What did the pirate say when he had cardiac arrest

ARRRRGGGGGHHHH ME HEARTY !!!

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By *ndym12Man
over a year ago

Ivybridge

What's green and sing?

Elvis Parsley.

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