FabSwingers.com forum: ridiculous way

By *odareyou OP Man
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

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By *S_PennyTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

Oh I'm always doing that. You brace yourself for a big sneeze then it hurts right across your back and in your arms. Awww poor you.

You're gonna smell lovely of eau de deep heat later then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

sneezed and cracked two ribs once ....though i was lying in an awkward postion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

I think ya set this up as a look at Minxie thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a black eye off the dog once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dropped a green house on my hand (long story) and broke 2 knuckles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I let go of a swing that I was stood up swinging on and split my lip open. Needed 5 stitches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

sneezed and cracked two ribs once ....though i was lying in an awkward postion

Blimey ! It wasn't a dining room table was it

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Strained stomach muscles and hurt my back from orgasming too hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

where do I start with the list ........

I had concussion for three weeks after walking into the tailgate of my car ... that hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bent over and shut my booby in a drawer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was a teenager and looking to impress the boys in my new top ....i tripped up going down a set of steps leading to the road...

I hit the road tits first and took the skin of the both of them.........painful or what

and the plaster look wasnt good after too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knocked the iron of the ironing board and tried to catch it... that bought tears to my eyes!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

I sprained my ankle because I fell down the stairs because o slipped on a takeaway menu which funny enough I needed to use a lot for the next few weeks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

concussed myself once when I thought the patio door was open,,,,,BANG!!!! it wasnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I scratched my own cheek when I was just one week old and still to this day have a small scar there...I try to palm it off as a gang related stabbing.... shhhhhhhh

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By *S_PennyTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

oh my list of self inflicted injuries are far too many, but perhaps the most notable was breaking both wrists by running into a wall then sticking my hands out in front of me at last minute to stop myself (football shuttle runs, I'm not a total mentalist). I fainted 3 times, then I get home and my Dad wiggles my wrists and says they're ok. Next morning I woke with wrists the size of my thighs and we only had one of those old rotary dial telephones for me to call my grandparents on to get them to take me to hospital. 3 weeks later, playing in a regional football final I was wearing sports casts, wrists were fine, but i broke my nose going up for a header.

I am a bit of a injury magnet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Impaled my head on a wardrobe door handle and actually left some bone on the handle

and i still have the scar

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I was walking to my school placement on the morning of my final (pretty important) lesson observation. I turned a corner just as some bloke let his small dog off it's lead which ran right under my feet. ... I tripped over it and smacked my arm pretty hard against the edge of a skip. I chipped my bone.

Got a bit fed up of telling people I tripped over a small dog!

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

I have broke my toe by dropping a circular saw on it.

Ok its not ridiculous but my toe bends backwards now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ran for bus fell down manhole cover. Fell throught loft legs either side of beam lots blood and splinters and i was nude in hospital twoo weeks.

Ex wife let go ladders i leaped to safety fell through garage roof broke my leg.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I've done something to my back turning the mattress this weekend.

My injuries are usually related to my balance problems: trying to cross the road and falling into the road as a car was coming towards me; smashing my knee on a tram track; falling down and scraping my face.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

When I was a kid I got injured by Karma of all bloody things.

I tried to kick my brother in the nuts and he shifted out of the way, grabbed my leg and pulled, with me falling on my knee.

Very unsporting of the bounder in my view

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"When I was a kid I got injured by Karma of all bloody things.

I tried to kick my brother in the nuts and he shifted out of the way, grabbed my leg and pulled, with me falling on my knee.

Very unsporting of the bounder in my view

I had a karma injury too! I tried to prod my sister on the bum with the rubber end of a pencil. She unexpectedly sat down on it and pushed the pointy end into my hand!

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

we have a bed where the mattress sits inside a surround ... soon learnt how to get out of bed differently after trapping my bollox between the mattress and surround a couple of times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slipped off the tee playing golf broke my ankle.

Fell out of bed trying to pull off a more advanced position from the karma sutra and broke my thumb

Ran into a glass partition in a night club and got a 1" gash in the side of my face

Fell through a bus stop window when I went to kiss a girl who didn't want me to kiss her (my eyes were closed, she moved, I was 14 lol)

Git away with brusing when I fell out of a plane thank god it was on the ground lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My brother had a 22 rifle many yrs ago....

Until he accidently shot me mother in the face .....

she was hanging the washing out and knew he was doing target practise...

and she got in the way

luckily it didnt do alot of damaged but it traumatised my brother for years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Broke my foot and ruptured a tendon, couldn't even tell you how I did it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Broke my foot and ruptured a tendon, couldn't even tell you how I did it!

I wonder if any newbies are looking at this thread and thinking.....

"blimey" do i really wanna meet such accident prone people ???

pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol good point!

I've got a really attractive leg brace and boot until op to fix my tendon!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol good point!

I've got a really attractive leg brace and boot until op to fix my tendon!!

ooooooo

well i have a lovely crutch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Broke my foot and ruptured a tendon, couldn't even tell you how I did it!

I wonder if any newbies are looking at this thread and thinking.....

"blimey" do i really wanna meet such accident prone people ???

pmsl

they are long gone after reading the anal incontinence thread from the disastrous meets last week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Broke my foot and ruptured a tendon, couldn't even tell you how I did it!

I wonder if any newbies are looking at this thread and thinking.....

"blimey" do i really wanna meet such accident prone people ???

pmsl

they are long gone after reading the anal incontinence thread from the disastrous meets last week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tattoo'ed myself under my nose with a coal shovel. Don't ask. It's still there for all to see.

And I gave myself a shiner when my arm was stuck in a coat sleeve and I forcefully pushed it through.

Deep down I'm a nice person. Honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of weeks ago put my hand in a fridge to get some milk and pretty much chopped the top of my finger off on the rim of a half eaten can of value baked beans that some fool had left in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A couple of weeks ago put my hand in a fridge to get some milk and pretty much chopped the top of my finger off on the rim of a half eaten can of value baked beans that some fool had left in there

Ooooo reading that has just made me bum cheeks clench

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my youth i fell off my pogo stick and broke my ankle...

Broke my little finger with "clackers" ...remember them...

Set my hair on fire leaning into a candle....

Sneezed and slipped a disc....

Sneezing....more dangerous than abseiling!!!

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"That you hurt yourself,,

I ve just sneezed and pulled a muscle,,

any ladies want to come rub it better,,

Own up who s done what,,

What muscle did you want rubbing

Ooops i don't feel like being ladylike today, sorry x

Those injuries are the worst, that and sudden turning... Hope it doesn't hurt for too long

Julie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A couple of weeks ago put my hand in a fridge to get some milk and pretty much chopped the top of my finger off on the rim of a half eaten can of value baked beans that some fool had left in there

Ooooo reading that has just made me bum cheeks clench

Truts me - It made my bum cheeks clench too!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I got an inch cut on my head when pushing up the loft ladder it didnt catch came back down with hellofa crack very bloody..

4 weeks ago I was at Kestrels and as I was moving a sunbed with the help of a kind gentleman I put me foot in a hole twisted that and bruised both knees cracked my shoulder and face on the sunbed.

had naked men rush towards me to assist me up. Ended up driving back to A&E for 3 plus hours, was off work two weeks was black blue and green.

Hope they have filled it in before someone not as nice as me goes in it.

Fell down the stairs when one foot caught in the leg of my trousers caught my booby on the newell post had a bruise the size of an orange..ouch.

The best one was a broken arm.. I had been sun bathing and had to get back to work so went to get the birds in from the aviary. Had cream on my feet stepped out the door onto a wet slippery vinyl did the splits and saved my fall with arm.

naked of course. Alone in house had to crawl to fone

and get some clothes on one handed,then limp to neighbour for lift to hospital.Laughing gas is great stuff. Cast on arm and a black bruise from bum too knee where i stretched ligaments in back of leg.

Do I sound like minxie yet ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dropped an ironing board on my big toe and had to go to A&E to have the blood drained out that was trapped behind my toenail, felt like such an idiot lol!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I got an inch cut on my head when pushing up the loft ladder it didnt catch came back down with hellofa crack very bloody..

4 weeks ago I was at Kestrels and as I was moving a sunbed with the help of a kind gentleman I put me foot in a hole twisted that and bruised both knees cracked my shoulder and face on the sunbed.

had naked men rush towards me to assist me up. Ended up driving back to A&E for 3 plus hours, was off work two weeks was black blue and green.

Hope they have filled it in before someone not as nice as me goes in it.

Fell down the stairs when one foot caught in the leg of my trousers caught my booby on the newell post had a bruise the size of an orange..ouch.

naked of course. Alone in house had to crawl to fone

Do I sound like minxie yet ??

You're out minxie-ing Minxie here!

Did you tell Kestrels about the hole? Try and keep safe.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Yes lickety they already knew about it and several other people I have mentioned it too also knew .. it is where there was a tree and the ground has sunk..

I said to those people that it was a shame they hadnt complained then. It may have saved me from getting hurt.

To be honest they were not the least bit concerned even the owner wasnt bothered.

I havent been back since and havent had a word from them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got a bruised helmet from an over enthusiastic blow job....

I believe she's now working for Dyson in product development!

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By *randmrsfreakyCouple
over a year ago

alfreton near chesterfield

i once ran full pelt into a single bared fence at just above stomach level in the dark.

apparently it was really funny to see my arms and legs over take my torso.

My mates couldn't get off the floor for laughing.

5 days in bed with bruised ribs

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Yes lickety they already knew about it and several other people I have mentioned it too also knew .. it is where there was a tree and the ground has sunk..

I said to those people that it was a shame they hadnt complained then. It may have saved me from getting hurt.

To be honest they were not the least bit concerned even the owner wasnt bothered.

I havent been back since and havent had a word from them

That's not on. I haven't been for a while but this hardly fills me with confidence.

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By *odareyou OP Man
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I knew I shouldn t have re read this thread,

chuckling at others misfortunes is so wrong :-! especially with a tummy muscle pull,,

Minxie can I borrow your hazzard tape please

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"i once ran full pelt into a single bared fence at just above stomach level in the dark.

apparently it was really funny to see my arms and legs over take my torso.

My mates couldn't get off the floor for laughing.

5 days in bed with bruised ribs"

I'm sorry cause this is harsh but i'd be laughing my arse off if i saw that happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i once ran full pelt into a single bared fence at just above stomach level in the dark.

apparently it was really funny to see my arms and legs over take my torso.

My mates couldn't get off the floor for laughing.

5 days in bed with bruised ribs"

That has just reminded me of something L did a few years ago. Walking out of a shopping center into a crowded street, people waiting to come in s well as follow us out - She pushed the double doors open, one door with each hand, and walked straight into the fixed bar that was separating the doors!

She didn't hurt herself and we couldn't stop laughing for about 5 minutes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bent over and shut my booby in a drawer

I keep my tits in a drawer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol good point!

I've got a really attractive leg brace and boot until op to fix my tendon!!

ooooooo

well i have a lovely crutch

I bet you do!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell of Rosie, and knocked 2 front teeth out and was unconscious for about 10 minutes, Rosie just stopped and munched on the grass!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once knocked myself out on a "mind your head" sign

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol good point!

I've got a really attractive leg brace and boot until op to fix my tendon!!

ooooooo

well i have a lovely crutch

I bet you do!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fell of Rosie, and knocked 2 front teeth out and was unconscious for about 10 minutes, Rosie just stopped and munched on the grass!"

Oh im sorry M/R

i did chuckle at this....

well at quite a few of them actually....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the worst at stupid injuring myself. All done in the last year.....

Trapped my foreskin in my zip.

Sat on my bollock when getting into bed.

Knocked my back out sneezing.

I bite my tongue or cheek really badly at least once a month whilst eating.

Snapped a guitar string whilst playing and nearly took my eye out.

And finally I got severe cramp in my hamstring last week whilst having sex. Took me about an hour to recover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm the worst at stupid injuring myself. All done in the last year.....

Trapped my foreskin in my zip.

Sat on my bollock when getting into bed.

Knocked my back out sneezing.

I bite my tongue or cheek really badly at least once a month whilst eating.

Snapped a guitar string whilst playing and nearly took my eye out.

And finally I got severe cramp in my hamstring last week whilst having sex. Took me about an hour to recover.

Im not laughing.....honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm the worst at stupid injuring myself. All done in the last year.....

Trapped my foreskin in my zip.

Sat on my bollock when getting into bed.

Knocked my back out sneezing.

I bite my tongue or cheek really badly at least once a month whilst eating.

Snapped a guitar string whilst playing and nearly took my eye out.

And finally I got severe cramp in my hamstring last week whilst having sex. Took me about an hour to recover.

Im not laughing.....honest

Hmmm. Don't believe you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I pulled a muscle in my neck through coughing

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By *anatee175Couple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I bent down from the hips to place a plate on the table and put my back out. Hubby was 2 hours drive away. It took me 20 mins to crawl next door to use her phone as at the time we didn't have one. was off work for 1 month and spent one week on the floor.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That brings tears to my eyes.

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