FabSwingers.com forum: Depression

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a friend whos depressed (I think)

Not sure how i can help him he's had tough few months...

All he does is sit watching tv, not eat or do anything apart from driving his car randomly listening to music he's either very angry or crying

never smiles or seems to be happy

anyone know how i can him???

thanks a lot

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Get him to a GP

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Try to persuade him to go to see his GP.

He is going to have to want to be helped and be willing to make some effort for you to be able to do anything much for him.

Be there for him but don't get too involved in taking on his problems and trying to care for him because it may become incredibly frustrating for you and could drag you down.

What did he used to enjoy doing? Try to encourage him to do those things. At this time of year particularly, getting him out in the daylight will probably help. Exercise, even gentle exercise, will help.

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By *yphoon1Man
over a year ago

"Try to persuade him to go to see his GP.

He is going to have to want to be helped and be willing to make some effort for you to be able to do anything much for him.

Be there for him but don't get too involved in taking on his problems and trying to care for him because it may become incredibly frustrating for you and could drag you down.

Agreed.

OP, he may not listen to you but he will hopefully listen to a GP who can start the ball rolling to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there's no easy solution to te underlying problem, there are several options.

- Encourage him to take up exercise/sport, together to help motivate

- Be a listening board

- Make sure he isn't isolated

- With the help of others try to develo a routine

- going to the GP can help, but we're talking anti-depressants and/or counselling. In my opinion it is a shame that social support from friends and family isn't there for so many people in the first instance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how bad it is really, but here are a few things off the top of my head:

1) Just generally be there for him and let him know you are happy to talk but don't have to either if he doesn't want to.

2) Keep in contact even if he doesn't actually want to do anything for months or stops answering his phone.

3) Try and get him out as much as possible. Depression can also trigger all sorts of social anxieties which make things worse.

4) Exercise is very good for depression although he probably hasn't got much motivation to do it. Even if its something simple like going for a walk or kicking a football about.

People who are depressed don't look after theirselves at all. Even if he doesn't want to talk, just helping him have a reason to take care of himself is good. He will appreciate you caring even if he doesn't show it. Also try and keep him away from heavy boozing.

If it stays for a while, get him to see a GP. They will probably try and get him into CBT and throw some meds at him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the above x Is good advice

On a small scale encourage him to get up dressed and out every day

Tell him it's been tough but he's changed how he's dealing with it and it's time to have help

Counselling

& try a light box - shorter days overcast and gloomy - it's almost like light switching off x

& be a good friend to him x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly ninja'd.

The structure point made by Ecuddles is spot on. It is so important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm no expert and can only say what works for me. When I first had it I was offered Meds straight away and I decided I wanted to fight it alone. I got a self help book and worked my way through it as best as I could.

My friends were always there but I'm very much a closed book and won't discuss what is wrong with me.

What everyone else is saying is right your friend can't really be helped till they want to help themselves

It's good he/she has a caring friend to look out for them

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Is it depression or stress. Guessing he wont talk to you about why he is like he is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a friend whos depressed (I think)

Not sure how i can help him he's had tough few months...

All he does is sit watching tv, not eat or do anything apart from driving his car randomly listening to music he's either very angry or crying

never smiles or seems to be happy

anyone know how i can him???

thanks a lot "

I work in mental health

How long has he been like that ?

I will pm you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Awhhhh thanks a lot for all the amazing advice everyone!

its really helping me understanding this and what he's going though

I didnt know it was such a common thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice as someone who has experienced this.

Ask him to help you, it could be to accompany you on a walk or jog, or maybe getting to the gym, make him think its you who need the help.

At times he wont respond to calls or answer messages, as he doesn't have anything to say, don't give up, obviously a gp is a good idea, but he wont admit he has a problem, so not always easy to suggest.

Involve him in your life, and he will look forward to your company, that's a start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice as someone who has experienced this.

Ask him to help you, it could be to accompany you on a walk or jog, or maybe getting to the gym, make him think its you who need the help.

Involve him in your life, and he will look forward to your company, that's a start."

And if he does open up make it clear it isn't anything to be embarrassed about as too many are ashamed to admit they may have mental health problems, hence suffering in silence.

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