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Captain Beaky

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thought these songs would be great contenders for the worst lyrics thread....dug out volumes I and II and started listening to them.......forgot just how good they are...lol

Sat here listening to The Trial Of Hissing Sid just now and reminiscing about my old headmaster.

An evil and sadistic little man who we nicknamed hissing sid creevy...PMSL

So, am not recommending any of these lyrics as bad ones....long live Captain Beaky And His Band

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just googled it after seeing your post on worst lyrics in a song thread.

I have no idea what it is, I must be too young.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember Captain Pugwash, and Captain Sensible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Captain Beaky late seventies/early eighties

created by Jeremy Lloyd, he got a load of people to sing on the albums....there were books (Sadly I have none) and a tv show.

I think there was even a west end show...but I may just be dreaming that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a look on ebay, just had a little look myself, seems to be a few books there, if they're the correct ones.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

The bravest animals in the land are Captain Beaky and his band

That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat

They march through the woodlands singing songs

That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Hissing Sid, an evil snake, kept the woodland folk awake

In fear and trembling every night

In case he gave someone a bite

Said Artful Owl, 'We'll lie in wait

And one of us will be the bait."

Said Captain Beaky, "Have no fear! For I alone will volunteer!"

"No, make it me!" Said Reckless Rat

I'll stand there in my reckless hat

When Hissing Sid picks up my trail,

I'll just lasso him with my tail!"

"Oh, good idea" said Timid Toad, "We'll hide a long way down the road.

And when you've overcome resistance,

We'll rush along to your assistance."

Said Batty Bat, "I've got a wheeze!

I'll fly and hide up in the trees!

If Hissing Sid should slither by

I'll drop a boulder from the sky!"

Said Artful Owl, "The idea sound…how will you lift it off the ground?"

Poor Batty Bat just scratched his head,

"I hadn't thought of that," he said.

Said Owl, "The rest of us hold back. There's only one that he'll attack."

Said Timid Toad, "I like your plan."

"Good luck," said Owl, "For you're the man!"

So Timid Toad, his eyes a-popping,

Into the woodland night went hopping

Captain Beaky waved his hand, followed by his trusty band

That's Artful Owl and Reckless Rat, and above the trees flew Batty Bat.

"Stop!" Said Beaky, "I hear squeaking!"

"It's Batty Bat" said Owl, "He's speaking!"

"It's all in code," said Reckless Rat

Said Owl, "I'll just decipher that."

"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…

I rather think we've got it wrong.

It reads 'can clearly see the road,

Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!

"You mustn't let him get away!"

And leaping off, said "Follow me!"

And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.

Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"

Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"

"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,

For they must find that snake's abode

Guided by old Batty Bat

Dot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spied

Were they too late? Was he inside?

Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a pole

And stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,

Right past his hole, no sign of stopping

Said Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,

"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!

Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"

And as the snake hopped out of sight,

Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy

And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?

For left alone, I felt quite sick,

And hopped into a hollow stick

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!

You jumped into that slippery snake."

"That was brave of Toad", said Rat

"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,

"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"

And as they marched off down the road,

They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,

With his wings stretched out, like that

Owl's idea, the clever fella

To have a flying um-ber-ella

Was sung/spoke by the Actor Keith Mitchel and championed by Noel Edmonds on his Sunday morning show

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