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disasterous meets??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've had one..not from Fab though...I will.share when everyone else does Haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had one..not from Fab though...I will.share when everyone else does Haha x"

Met a couple. She clearly wasn't interested in playing, he kept trying to get it on with me. I felt I'd been invited under false pretences and he got arsey when I made to leave.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol "

a classy girl then! YUCK!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

Gross...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol "

Maybe she was shitting herself before your meet!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ... "

You sure it wasn't down to your technique then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ...

You sure it wasn't down to your technique then? "

I was waiting for someone to say that, very sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine have all been tame x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

Haha, oh gross......I had a young guy with a bit of tummy bug keep running to the loo once, out of earshot luckily....he keeps asking me back but I can't quite bring myself to say yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met up with two guys from here for a last minute threesome. The one guy blew his load within a minute then did a runner. It was my first threesome experience and not tried it since, unless you count the encounters in a club.

Another time a bloke was on his way to meet me and crapped his pants - literally. Needless to say the meet didn't go ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was my first meet when i just joinf the site, and i was a bit naive!

I messaged a lass and we got chatting via mails. We made arrangements for her to come to mine later that day. When my door went, i answered it and a GUY was standing there in what was obviously his wifes frock! Doubtless to say, the door was closed in his face! My neighbour still gives me funny looks, haha.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mine was my first meet when i just joinf the site, and i was a bit naive!

I messaged a lass and we got chatting via mails. We made arrangements for her to come to mine later that day. When my door went, i answered it and a GUY was standing there in what was obviously his wifes frock! Doubtless to say, the door was closed in his face! My neighbour still gives me funny looks, haha."

HahahahAha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ... "

Made me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Met up with two guys from here for a last minute threesome. The one guy blew his load within a minute then did a runner. It was my first threesome experience and not tried it since, unless you count the encounters in a club.

Another time a bloke was on his way to meet me and crapped his pants - literally. Needless to say the meet didn't go ahead."

That's worst than mine...I feel better now Haha xx

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'm surprised at the level of anal incontinence displayed by fab members!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm surprised at the level of anal incontinence displayed by fab members! "

Really, what with the amount of shite on here everyday I thought that would have been a given ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm surprised at the level of anal incontinence displayed by fab members!

Really, what with the amount of shite on here everyday I thought that would have been a given .... "

Aye, you beat me to that.

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By *irtyDee33Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

Hahahaha love it!!!!! Best post to date!!!!

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley


"Mine was my first meet when i just joinf the site, and i was a bit naive!

I messaged a lass and we got chatting via mails. We made arrangements for her to come to mine later that day. When my door went, i answered it and a GUY was standing there in what was obviously his wifes frock! Doubtless to say, the door was closed in his face! My neighbour still gives me funny looks,

haha."
that has really tickled me , thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teamed up with a friend to form a couple and meet a couple. The M came inside my F in under 10 seconds and then left, the other F wanted me to do the same ... We both left, not nice at all.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

fuck me - even my bad ones dont compare to these lol great stories .. the worst of mine are people not looking anything like thier profiles and me walking off, but that is far too tame for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ... "

Hope you carried on like a trooper ;p haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

Naughty, I think you need to change your interests on profile to avoid this happening ;p

Take off the shitting and vomiting play part ;p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From Fab they have all been good people in general don't try and mislead you and if you chat on cam before meeting you establish a rapport which has worked fine for me. Even the social meets that didn't go any further it was polite and no bitterness I guess I am lucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a single female from another site for our first mmf. She'd come all the way from middlesborough on her own to meet us and she looked nothing like her picks. 6'2 with an arse the same in width(not our thing) messy haiR extensions, bleached stained knickers... We downed as much booze as possible as we felt obliged to play. She fucked my man like a pneumatic drill and I think he came out of fear of bein snapped in half! Then he'd come play with me and get hard, go back to her and get the flop which became really obvious after a while. After 2 hours she still wanted more but we had to send her to the spare room... Always social first people!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a single female from another site for our first mmf. She'd come all the way from middlesborough on her own to meet us and she looked nothing like her picks. 6'2 with an arse the same in width(not our thing) messy haiR extensions, bleached stained knickers... We downed as much booze as possible as we felt obliged to play. She fucked my man like a pneumatic drill and I think he came out of fear of bein snapped in half! Then he'd come play with me and get hard, go back to her and get the flop which became really obvious after a while. After 2 hours she still wanted more but we had to send her to the spare room... Always social first people!"
first mff btw *

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

Blimey!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does not having any meets go down as disastrous?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm surprised at the level of anal incontinence displayed by fab members! "

Here's another one and the reason this profile of ours is relatively new, because we came off fab straight after this little experience.

Meet with a couple at ours. Have chat all fine then decide to play. We swop partners next to each other on our bed. I am bent over the bottom of the bed taking quite a big cock and look up to watch mrnotts playing. He's stood by the side of the bed and the other lady is on her back being fingered. I notice something under her. My first thought is oops she's started her period so I alert her there's a problem. She gets up and then we all see shes shit herself on our bed. Bad enough you'd think? Her hubby is still trying to fuck me. She trots off to the loo, wiped herself then comes back and lies back down to play again wtf needless to say play ended there and then. We binned a duvet and a throw that night ; dirty feckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The amount of grown adults that shit themselves is shocking.

The only time I have shit myself is when I was ill with gastroenteris and I didn't have company at the time (couldnt figure out which end needed the loo first)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does not having any meets go down as disastrous? "

Lol no, we have had a single female literally crap herself as she came twice and not even treat it as odd and met a couple where the guy had half his head missing, needless to say we made our excuses. Think it is best to giggle about it in the end and we wish you the best on your first meets as the majority have been wonderful for us x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" met a couple where the guy had half his head missing, needless to say we made our excuses.x"

Which head??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly thought We'd win with our shit story but it looks like this is all a bit too common.

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

we had a party meet in a pub someone we knew was running, us and two other cpls, one female didn't want to be there and hubby was getting a bit aggressive, so we thought time to leave, upon leaving we go into the living room to say bye bye and find the hostess shooting up, so we left without even having time to remove our coats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a single female from another site for our first mmf. She'd come all the way from middlesborough on her own to meet us and she looked nothing like her picks. 6'2 with an arse the same in width(not our thing) messy haiR extensions, bleached stained knickers... We downed as much booze as possible as we felt obliged to play. She fucked my man like a pneumatic drill and I think he came out of fear of bein snapped in half! Then he'd come play with me and get hard, go back to her and get the flop which became really obvious after a while. After 2 hours she still wanted more but we had to send her to the spare room... Always social first people!"

Absolutely hilarious. The sentence "She fucked my man like a pneumatic drill and I think he came out of fear of bein snapped in half!" was incredibly funny. Thank you ... made my day laughing, despite choking on my Starbucks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like this site needs to be renamed to pooplayers with all the shitting going on....I'm now scared to meet anyone for fear of getting my own shit fest horror story to add to this thread lol

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves! "

Your not the only one, social meets will take on a whole new meaning after this, with questioning about bowel movements etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves! "

and on my side of the bed...oh the pain of it all is all coming back again. ffs people haven't you heard of immodium!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol "
maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

im going to be sick now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?"

hang on a minute - a poo stain across your butt cheek? really? aint never happened to me since I've been out of nappies. You sure it wasn't a birth mark!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?

hang on a minute - a poo stain across your butt cheek? really? aint never happened to me since I've been out of nappies. You sure it wasn't a birth mark!"
if it was on her butt cheeks I bet in her pants too ... oo well I would have been saying hell no I am off , can't cope with poo and dirty body parts. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the funniest post I've ever seen

Very surprised any of you went on to meet another after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?

hang on a minute - a poo stain across your butt cheek? really? aint never happened to me since I've been out of nappies. You sure it wasn't a birth mark!if it was on her butt cheeks I bet in her pants too ... oo well I would have been saying hell no I am off , can't cope with poo and dirty body parts. ."

i'm just off to research username "skiddy"..see what's going on with these people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves!

and on my side of the bed...oh the pain of it all is all coming back again. ffs people haven't you heard of immodium! "

Or not meeting until your bowels are under control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is the funniest post I've ever seen

Very surprised any of you went on to meet another after that "

we didn't have sex with each other for a week after and came off fab for quite a few months.....my faith has been restored recently though with some top class couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?

hang on a minute - a poo stain across your butt cheek? really? aint never happened to me since I've been out of nappies. You sure it wasn't a birth mark!if it was on her butt cheeks I bet in her pants too ... oo well I would have been saying hell no I am off , can't cope with poo and dirty body parts. .

i'm just off to research username "skiddy"..see what's going on with these people."
never know some maybe into all that and get off on it .... yuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves!

and on my side of the bed...oh the pain of it all is all coming back again. ffs people haven't you heard of immodium!

Or not meeting until your bowels are under control "

would also have been appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a plenty of fish meet......

her profile said she was 39, we met, she was 67,basically she lived in southampton, miles away, we spoke few weeks, swapped pics, both attracted to each other,i got train down and taxi from station to address,woman answered door not lookin like pics, she invited me in,sat me down and confessed they were fake pics and she knew i wudnt message her if i had known her real age,basically she was tryin touch me up as we chatted, i was pissed off coz all the effort i made to see her, so i got my own back,well was obvious she just wanted sex, so i stood up, and fully undressed myself and her jaw hit the floor, she wasnt expecting it cud be fare to say, then i told her to go upstairs and ready herself and get all sexy and shout me when she was dun, so i got changed quicksmart, went to go for front door, was locked lol, so sneeked out of window....flagged taxi down and went to hotel booked in for the night and train home next day lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a plenty of fish meet......

her profile said she was 39, we met, she was 67,basically she lived in southampton, miles away, we spoke few weeks, swapped pics, both attracted to each other,i got train down and taxi from station to address,woman answered door not lookin like pics, she invited me in,sat me down and confessed they were fake pics and she knew i wudnt message her if i had known her real age,basically she was tryin touch me up as we chatted, i was pissed off coz all the effort i made to see her, so i got my own back,well was obvious she just wanted sex, so i stood up, and fully undressed myself and her jaw hit the floor, she wasnt expecting it cud be fare to say, then i told her to go upstairs and ready herself and get all sexy and shout me when she was dun, so i got changed quicksmart, went to go for front door, was locked lol, so sneeked out of window....flagged taxi down and went to hotel booked in for the night and train home next day lol"
My god what a horror story .. glad you got away .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a plenty of fish meet......

her profile said she was 39, we met, she was 67,basically she lived in southampton, miles away, we spoke few weeks, swapped pics, both attracted to each other,i got train down and taxi from station to address,woman answered door not lookin like pics, she invited me in,sat me down and confessed they were fake pics and she knew i wudnt message her if i had known her real age,basically she was tryin touch me up as we chatted, i was pissed off coz all the effort i made to see her, so i got my own back,well was obvious she just wanted sex, so i stood up, and fully undressed myself and her jaw hit the floor, she wasnt expecting it cud be fare to say, then i told her to go upstairs and ready herself and get all sexy and shout me when she was dun, so i got changed quicksmart, went to go for front door, was locked lol, so sneeked out of window....flagged taxi down and went to hotel booked in for the night and train home next day lol My god what a horror story .. glad you got away ."

pmsl - locked in with the key down her knickers shouting come and see my puppies young man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

One if your worst meets? Fuck me have you had worse??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh God don't lol, I'm not against women 60 plus but it was the shock that she was supposed to be in late thirties lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a plenty of fish meet......

her profile said she was 39, we met, she was 67,basically she lived in southampton, miles away, we spoke few weeks, swapped pics, both attracted to each other,i got train down and taxi from station to address,woman answered door not lookin like pics, she invited me in,sat me down and confessed they were fake pics and she knew i wudnt message her if i had known her real age,basically she was tryin touch me up as we chatted, i was pissed off coz all the effort i made to see her, so i got my own back,well was obvious she just wanted sex, so i stood up, and fully undressed myself and her jaw hit the floor, she wasnt expecting it cud be fare to say, then i told her to go upstairs and ready herself and get all sexy and shout me when she was dun, so i got changed quicksmart, went to go for front door, was locked lol, so sneeked out of window....flagged taxi down and went to hotel booked in for the night and train home next day lol"

Omg that's bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone"

Well fair play sticking to your guns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm actually feeling a bit scared now with some of these stories. I don't know why but rearranging your bathroom has just sent a shiver down my spine...that's just weired

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By *dultfunscotland2000Man
over a year ago

Scotland and beyond

Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/10/13 12:40:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went on a POF meet and the guy was wearing tracksuit bottoms and a cut off T shirt. He then proceeded to go and have a shower, leaving me in his bedroom - which had no carpets and wallpaper. He told me about his kids and how much of a bitch his exes were. He then asked for sex - by this point I couldn't have been more turned off if I tried - so I ended up giving what can only be described as the quickest hand job in the world, he came and I disappeared!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone

Well fair play sticking to your guns "

she was really pritty too but i think she was not the full shilling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos and fairly heavy ones, is I'm not a hater, this guy had what I can only describe as scribbled on himself or let a 6 year old do it... Showed him the door, couldn't bang my own wife through laughter,

We had one guy shoot his load in a minute, so he put his pjams on and watched tv...

But slightly off subject, we got pulled over by the police on the way home from a meet, let's just say the wife was well used and not wearing much (at all)

Made the coppers night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone

Well fair play sticking to your guns

she was really pritty too but i think she was not the full shilling"

That's one way of putting it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos and fairly heavy ones, is I'm not a hater, this guy had what I can only describe as scribbled on himself or let a 6 year old do it... Showed him the door, couldn't bang my own wife through laughter,

We had one guy shoot his load in a minute, so he put his pjams on and watched tv...

But slightly off subject, we got pulled over by the police on the way home from a meet, let's just say the wife was well used and not wearing much (at all)

Made the coppers night"

your meets bring pj's with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos and fairly heavy ones, is I'm not a hater, this guy had what I can only describe as scribbled on himself or let a 6 year old do it... Showed him the door, couldn't bang my own wife through laughter,

We had one guy shoot his load in a minute, so he put his pjams on and watched tv...

But slightly off subject, we got pulled over by the police on the way home from a meet, let's just say the wife was well used and not wearing much (at all)

Made the coppers night

your meets bring pj's with them "

We went to his haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mine was my first meet when i just joinf the site, and i was a bit naive!

I messaged a lass and we got chatting via mails. We made arrangements for her to come to mine later that day. When my door went, i answered it and a GUY was standing there in what was obviously his wifes frock! Doubtless to say, the door was closed in his face! My neighbour still gives me funny looks, haha.

HahahahAha"

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Feckin crying with laughter here. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos and fairly heavy ones, is I'm not a hater, this guy had what I can only describe as scribbled on himself or let a 6 year old do it... Showed him the door, couldn't bang my own wife through laughter,

We had one guy shoot his load in a minute, so he put his pjams on and watched tv...

But slightly off subject, we got pulled over by the police on the way home from a meet, let's just say the wife was well used and not wearing much (at all)

Made the coppers night

your meets bring pj's with them

We went to his haha"

I need to go away and add some dont's to out profile text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm actually feeling a bit scared now with some of these stories. I don't know why but rearranging your bathroom has just sent a shiver down my spine...that's just weired "

Th film "Sleeping with the enemy" comes to mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a guy vomit on me once when doing me doggy style once...he also poo'd himself at the same time. He had a tummy big but thought he'd be okay. That hoes down as one of the worst meets I ever had."

Ahh. Good old Norovirus!

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"... We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos ... "

Off topic but can i see your art please? Looking for ideas to take to an artist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had one guy turn up, now I've got tattoos and fairly heavy ones, is I'm not a hater, this guy had what I can only describe as scribbled on himself or let a 6 year old do it... Showed him the door, couldn't bang my own wife through laughter,

We had one guy shoot his load in a minute, so he put his pjams on and watched tv...

But slightly off subject, we got pulled over by the police on the way home from a meet, let's just say the wife was well used and not wearing much (at all)

Made the coppers night

your meets bring pj's with them

We went to his haha"

Were they Thomas the Tank pjs ....pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone"

I think this is a TV show waiting to happen ;p lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mine was my first meet when i just joinf the site, and i was a bit naive!

I messaged a lass and we got chatting via mails. We made arrangements for her to come to mine later that day. When my door went, i answered it and a GUY was standing there in what was obviously his wifes frock! Doubtless to say, the door was closed in his face! My neighbour still gives me funny looks, haha."

That's a classic, we're you tempted??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets "

I just can't compete...feel like I need to stage a disaster meet just to be accepted ...haha....can't miss out on all the fun ;p so funny

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt."

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night "

now you're just being fussy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets "

A man came to see me on Saturday and ate ALL my cakes...

Honestly I don't have any stories to tell that are worth reading

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night

now you're just being fussy! "

i'd say the same to you but think the lovely mr.notts would disagree having read your story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets

A man came to see me on Saturday and ate ALL my cakes...

Honestly I don't have any stories to tell that are worth reading "

Domale ate all the cakes, was that before or after the threesum.....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night

now you're just being fussy! "
Others peoples smells and dirty things I am gagging and not in a nice way , lol I would be running out the door ..... how could they have a fun filled night in that smell .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets

A man came to see me on Saturday and ate ALL my cakes...

Honestly I don't have any stories to tell that are worth reading "

Whaaat?? You get all the cakes you can eat when you meet you...book me in ;p haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night

now you're just being fussy!

i'd say the same to you but think the lovely mr.notts would disagree having read your story "

pah! he'd laugh in the face of a fart

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village


"Was at a gangbang, when one guy farted so bad, people were looking for a shit on the floor. He didn't seem fazed that he had brought a 8 guy, 1 gal gangbang to a coughing, spluttering, wretching halt.

had a similar experience with a lass from here. She decided to 'let one rip' & killed the night

now you're just being fussy!

i'd say the same to you but think the lovely mr.notts would disagree having read your story

pah! he'd laugh in the face of a fart "

id love to see how he'd smile if he was orally pleasuring the lass when she let go!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahahaha these stories are funny as fuck. Are you sure these are true stories guys? I haven't met anyone yet off this site but that's less of a disaster than most of the stories I've read

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I don't have anything anywhere near this bad to share! And bloody glad I am too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You think I'd joke about this?

Walk a mile in my shoes my friend walk a mile in my shoes ....

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves! "

I've met quite a few that do - the first was a shocker but we we're in a hotel so as shocked as I was it didnt matter.

I dont accomodate - so it's all their problems and I just laugh at it now

(flex) lol

the first one to follow through though tried climbing on my face though after she'd cleaned up, needless to say I point blank refused and she got the right hump

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By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.


"The amount of grown adults that shit themselves is shocking.

The only time I have shit myself is when I was ill with gastroenteris and I didn't have company at the time (couldnt figure out which end needed the loo first)"

Our sink is directly next to the loo. Was a God send when I got food poisoning from a Greggs chicken pasty.

So far our only let down was having a mmf with Mr Floppy. Not a disaster by any means. But frustrating all the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had a couple but I won't say what or who .....

I want my next one to be mind blowing though

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By *he Master JMan
over a year ago

Southall

Has got to be the funniest thread I have read

adult baby site maybe with all these people shitting themselves

Halloween maybe with men turning up in their wives dress

thanks for making me smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a plenty of fish meet......

her profile said she was 39, we met, she was 67,basically she lived in southampton, miles away, we spoke few weeks, swapped pics, both attracted to each other,i got train down and taxi from station to address,woman answered door not lookin like pics, she invited me in,sat me down and confessed they were fake pics and she knew i wudnt message her if i had known her real age,basically she was tryin touch me up as we chatted, i was pissed off coz all the effort i made to see her, so i got my own back,well was obvious she just wanted sex, so i stood up, and fully undressed myself and her jaw hit the floor, she wasnt expecting it cud be fare to say, then i told her to go upstairs and ready herself and get all sexy and shout me when she was dun, so i got changed quicksmart, went to go for front door, was locked lol, so sneeked out of window....flagged taxi down and went to hotel booked in for the night and train home next day lol

Omg that's bad "

You had to climb out the window..

omg

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ha some of these are far worse than mine...glad I asked now Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone

Well fair play sticking to your guns

she was really pritty too but i think she was not the full shilling

That's one way of putting it "

Well how else can i put it you cant tell me they were the actions of a sain woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm now way to scared to meet anyone...I think they need an extra option added to the verifications section on profile....please tick their sexy time shit rating:

This person:

1. Doesn't accidentally shit on you.

2. Mildly farts when excited.

3. Is like a ninja with silent but deadly, sneaky squeezers.

4. Rip roars farts that could bring the Albert hall to a stand still.

5. Just a light plopper, nothing too much to worry about.

6. A full on shit storm is brewing.

7. Will pebble dash you like you are in an all over spray tan booth.

;p

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol maybe you should have told her about the pants and say get some baby wipes as it may help her after a poo . But tell the truth I would be thinking did she know about her pants? and worried how clean the rest was. ?"

Tbh I didn't have the heart to tell her...I just made some poor excuse and drove her home in silence and disbelief

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm absolutely aghast! Can't believe so many people shit themselves! "

To be fair, the guy I was going to meet had an upset stomach, or so he told me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfao , I m gona shit my self laughing while reading this forum !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh fecking hell sat reading these with missus

Ya gotta love the incontinent, mentality ill and deranged folk who bring a ray of weirdness, dry cleaning bills and stinging eyes!

Only had two weird meets at ours, one where couple turned up chatting nice having a laugh guy brings conversation to screeching halt with " use to go round this old guys house at dinner time when at school an he'd suck us off for £5" .......His wifes face freezez me an wife look at each other oddly it went down hill from there when he got a floppy as I was giving his wife a nice time.....exit stage left......did the wife instead as shame to waste a good hard on aint it.....

Fook she'll kill me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i met a man i had met before he was nice but the second time i met him his cock and breath was smelly, so i got him to go to bathroom and wash it, then i noticed that his nails were too long and then he said he wouldnt use a condom because he hated them, so i used my toy instead.

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By *irralswingersCouple
over a year ago

Chester

We met a couple off here. Had a social meet and agreed to meet the next week. It was our first proper meet. She talked a good meet what she was going to do etc. When we met the following week we were having fm fm her m was enjoying himself with me. My m was trying to play with her she started crying got off the bed, got dressed and left!!! But since then had some wonderful meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol "
thats horrible hooe youve had better exoeriences since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ...

You sure it wasn't down to your technique then?

I was waiting for someone to say that, very sure "

Why would you want to have fun with a woman that ws that bllody d*unk? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"many years ago I was on a date, she was so d*unk that she fell asleep during doggy over the sofa ... "

what happened? did you stop n leave ir did you continue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this must be one of the funniest threads ive ever read on here, im crying with laughter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i met a man i had met before he was nice but the second time i met him his cock and breath was smelly, so i got him to go to bathroom and wash it, then i noticed that his nails were too long and then he said he wouldnt use a condom because he hated them, so i used my toy instead. "

Lol. Funny thing is he's on different forum saying same about you lol. #hardbeingperfect

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I met a guy and he promised me a 10 incher, it was 9.85 inches

there was more tears than the X Factor final.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone

Well fair play sticking to your guns

she was really pritty too but i think she was not the full shilling

That's one way of putting it

Well how else can i put it you cant tell me they were the actions of a sain woman"

Pmsl i cant stop laughing at that but scary at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first meet with a couple was hmmm..she was okay he like a grizzly bear .after a few drinks in hotel got down to the fun. All okay until she deep throat her man and decided to be sick all over the pillows on the bed.not even a sorry.then wanted to kiss my misses. Yuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely love this thread

It's making me laugh even more than the laided one

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol thats horrible hooe youve had better exoeriences since"

Haha I have missie...you know this from last week lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I met a woman off here that said she was single only to be droped off at mine by her hubby and when she came in she asked me for bareback anal only i refused and said safe only she then went to the toilet and i could here her on the phone saying he wont do it and she stayed in there about 5min until her hubby pulled up and she walked straight out the bathroom and called me a fuckin virgin and left when i went into the bathroom she had completely rearanged all my stuff it was like 60 sec make over meets the twilight zone"
oh my god that's really creepy it's sent a real shiver down my spine lol ??

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By *ornyHousewife 68Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Met a guy for coffee once, he spent the whole hour eyeing up every woman - and man!! who came in the place, despite being 'straight' lol

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By *onConformistLikeUMan
over a year ago

Chorley

I only met with a couple once. It wasn't for me. I spent our time together dissecting the couples relationship in my head and couldn't help thinking how unhappy they were deep down. I didn't suggest counselling but I could tell they needed it. I'm sure that doesn't apply to every couple on here but it made me think twice about what I actually wanted from this kind of site. I made my excuses and left. They were nice people, very accommodating but at the same time had a completely fucked outlook on the world. This killed any chance of an erection from me and made me feel a bit sorry for them. There were other factors but I won't go into them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that knowing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol thats horrible hooe youve had better exoeriences since

Haha I have missie...you know this from last week lol"
you were delicious in every way ...thankyou x

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By *hris n AnnaCouple
over a year ago

edinburghish

Crying with laughter reading all these posts ha ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is horrifying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hahaha brilliant..

I met a girl once...average looking nice body..we met in public...wanted outdoor sex...when it came down to it..she pulled down her pants and revealed a huge pooh stain across one cheek...COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!! who does that kn

owing what shed be up to that afternoon?? Lol thats horrible hooe youve had better exoeriences since

Haha I have missie...you know this from last week lol you were delicious in every way ...thankyou x"

So glad it wasn't disastrous..youd have hung me out to dry on here Haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i met a man i had met before he was nice but the second time i met him his cock and breath was smelly, so i got him to go to bathroom and wash it, then i noticed that his nails were too long and then he said he wouldnt use a condom because he hated them, so i used my toy instead.

Lol. Funny thing is he's on different forum saying same about you lol. #hardbeingperfect"

Oh im heart broken, boo hoo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wldnt have hung you out to dry..thats your job to hang things out to dry dear...you did a great job on the hotels sheets ha ha x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wldnt have hung you out to dry..thats your job to hang things out to dry dear...you did a great job on the hotels sheets ha ha x "

Apart from burn them on the radiator ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive had a couple but I won't say what or who .....

I want my next one to be mind blowing though "

Oh dear? Was it me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm seeing lots of posts from people laughing. I think you should only laugh if you post your own horror story

or are you laughing lurkers all from perfect meets

I just can't compete...feel like I need to stage a disaster meet just to be accepted ...haha....can't miss out on all the fun ;p so funny"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive had a couple but I won't say what or who .....

I want my next one to be mind blowing though

Oh dear? Was it me? "

No you were mind blowing honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This thread is horrifying. "

Scary what's really out there waiting for us!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I wldnt have hung you out to dry..thats your job to hang things out to dry dear...you did a great job on the hotels sheets ha ha x

Apart from burn them on the radiator ha "
could have been worse....firebrigrade may have had to knock down our door...mmmm boots..helmets....hoses ha ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I wldnt have hung you out to dry..thats your job to hang things out to dry dear...you did a great job on the hotels sheets ha ha x

Apart from burn them on the radiator ha could have been worse....firebrigrade may have had to knock down our door...mmmm boots..helmets....hoses ha ha"

You might as well of given me a verify after all these posts ha

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down


"I'm surprised at the level of anal incontinence displayed by fab members!

Here's another one and the reason this profile of ours is relatively new, because we came off fab straight after this little experience.

Meet with a couple at ours. Have chat all fine then decide to play. We swop partners next to each other on our bed. I am bent over the bottom of the bed taking quite a big cock and look up to watch mrnotts playing. He's stood by the side of the bed and the other lady is on her back being fingered. I notice something under her. My first thought is oops she's started her period so I alert her there's a problem. She gets up and then we all see shes shit herself on our bed. Bad enough you'd think? Her hubby is still trying to fuck me. She trots off to the loo, wiped herself then comes back and lies back down to play again wtf needless to say play ended there and then. We binned a duvet and a throw that night ; dirty feckers "

Fucking hell ..lol

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