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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I'm multitasking between Fab and Universal Jobmatch, don't judge me lol.

My eyes immediately latched onto "Occupational Health Careline" and I immediately saw myself doing that job.

Was quickly discouraged by the massive checklist of qualifications and requirements for the job, not to mention the poor pay and the opening title:

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE ESSENTIAL...

...in huge red lettering (clearly warning "timewasters" not to bother)

I'm guessing that experience didn't go for the person that wrote the ad, as it was the worst written and edited ad I've ever seen.

Where does one get the experience for that job, if you need the experience to have the job in the first place? Am I missing something or was the writer/employer just dense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

doing the same job for a different company?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"doing the same job for a different company?"

Most likely, unless they advertise in the same manner. It just upsets me for five minutes and then I go back to applying for kitchen porter and media jobs lol

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

There are a lot of badly written job adverts out there.

I and a friend of mine actually applied for the job of a proof reader for a law firm.

He received the application form, saw a few grammatical errors and sent it back with his comments. He thought it was a test of his powers of observation. It wasn't..... he didn't get the interview.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There are a lot of badly written job adverts out there.

I and a friend of mine actually applied for the job of a proof reader for a law firm.

He received the application form, saw a few grammatical errors and sent it back with his comments. He thought it was a test of his powers of observation. It wasn't..... he didn't get the interview. "

That is bloody awful but also quite funny. Had some experiences similar.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

You know, though, that you're in a bad way when Gumtree job ads are better written than those on a Government website.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Universal job match is dog poo. Use something fit for the task like monster, totaljobs, cv-library etc.

I didn't bother using it for the while I had to sign on and found something good very quickly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Universal job match is dog poo. Use something fit for the task like monster, totaljobs, cv-library etc.

I didn't bother using it for the while I had to sign on and found something good very quickly. "

Oh Im on all of them mate, but UJS comes first to get it out of the way. They check your "progress" from time to time. But there are some decent basic jobs there a few times a week.

I'm also checking Gumtree, Indeed.com, CV Library, Reed, Linked In and Monster.

Just applied for a very beneficial kitchen porter job at a french styled hotel, very fancy!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"That is bloody awful but also quite funny. Had some experiences similar. "

If you met the chap, you'd realise that whilst he has an IQ of about 140, he is capable of all sorts of muppetry.

I had an interview and assessment for the company, but blobbed it on the assessment. One part of it read, 'in todays' silicone enhanced future...' and I made a comment in the margin of 'try silicon, although when it comes to women, a good argument can be made in favour of silicone enhanced.'

I didn't get the job either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The employer can write as badly as they want to, for they have the power and the money. a bit like fab, ass licking goes a long way, soo many badly written profiles, with a long list of requirements.

its about supply and demand

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That is bloody awful but also quite funny. Had some experiences similar.

If you met the chap, you'd realise that whilst he has an IQ of about 140, he is capable of all sorts of muppetry.

I had an interview and assessment for the company, but blobbed it on the assessment. One part of it read, 'in todays' silicone enhanced future...' and I made a comment in the margin of 'try silicon, although when it comes to women, a good argument can be made in favour of silicone enhanced.'

I didn't get the job either. "

Awww fuck it! lol better luck in future, it's a learning curve but if some companies dont allow you a little indiscretion, they're probably not worth feeling that you lost out on the misery guts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and get the agencies on the phone direct. They don't like being made to work for their commission but if you're in their face they'll help a bit more! They're usually indiscreet enough to tell you who they're recruiting for, so cut out the middle man in that circumstances

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh and get the agencies on the phone direct. They don't like being made to work for their commission but if you're in their face they'll help a bit more! They're usually indiscreet enough to tell you who they're recruiting for, so cut out the middle man in that circumstances "

When the time comes (after I've finished my business course) I'll be going recruitment agency rather than employment agency. The employers come looking for you and they foot the bill, you dont lose any of your wage to recruitment agencies. I'll never work for sub-minimum wage again.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

You are often better looking in the local paper; that's how I got my job.

I'm sure something will come up soon and hope it will babe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You are often better looking in the local paper; that's how I got my job.

I'm sure something will come up soon and hope it will babe. "

Thanks, the Liverpool Echo is shit though. All they do now is put one page a week in the paper advertising websites to go to. Just got my Food Safety Level 2, I have three Diplomas in Media, Variety Entertainment and Theatrical & Media Makeup and all my basics. So I have the equivalent of a shitload of A-Levels and NVQ's with well over a decade of experience.

It's the nearly 2 years out of work that's the killer. All my legitimate references have vanished with the miracle of time and I have had health problems that kept me home for a year.

But someone's got to have a heart, even if I have to lie to them a little smidge.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Something always turns up, hun. You have great qualifications, so would a bit of voluntary work help out with giving you a more up to date collection of references?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Something always turns up, hun. You have great qualifications, so would a bit of voluntary work help out with giving you a more up to date collection of references? "

I was messed around in a few voluntary positions this year, but I'm now settled down into a writer's position with a website. To have my name on something is a good start.

I also have friends that will add me into their own history, so I could be an ex-events coordinator next week lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It's the nearly 2 years out of work that's the killer. "

How can you not get a job for 2 years??...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

It's the nearly 2 years out of work that's the killer.

How can you not get a job for 2 years??... "

I went out at the end of last January and needed to go on the sick. I have a long history of depression and anxiety but it never affected me so bad that I had to leave a job until then.

I was stark raving mad at the slightest hint of someone fucking with me and was absolutely sick too.

I couldnt have more than two hours sleep a night because I'd wake up choking on my own vomit.

It took the DWP four months to send me to ATOS Healthcare for my medical and not only did they refuse my evidence, proven by a battery of tests and my medical history, they actually manipulated the evidence to win the case.

So I fought and appealed, but I still couldnt get out for a job because I was going literally berserk. I cant take antidepressants because of the hypothyroidism I was born with, they're lethal to me. I go into a coma and could die.

October I got sent to the hospital for gastroscopy about the same time I finished therapy, they found my insides torn and burned up and so now I'm on cancer watch for the rest of my life.

I started signing on for Jobseekers this March when I got back on my feet. Penniless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Basically, no one wants a "has-been"

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