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I'll get my coat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lets have your most inappropriate conversation killers please. Scenes we'd like to see styleeee....

"As long as I don't have sex while it's still green and weeping thats fine"

"That Mr Farage actually has some nice ideas"

"Anyway, turns out it wasn't chocolate on my upper lip, these playrooms ain't half dark"

"Imagine my surprise when I woke up and found out it was my mother all along! "

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

There was the American marine from South Carolina who it never occurred to me might be racist till he saw some photos of my ex's and went really, really quiet for a while...

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"

"That Mr Farage actually has some nice ideas"

"

He does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Overheard in the pub ...

" All vegetarians are nice people !"

"Hitler was a vegetarian"

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Don't you hate it when you think you've tied up someone really well, and yet they escape?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Overheard in the pub ...

" All vegetarians are nice people !"

"Hitler was a vegetarian"

"

Historically the far right has close links with the environmental/green movement. Probably we can include vegetarianism in this as well?

And then there's good old eugenics.

Oh-joy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Do you like the music of Val Doonican?"

"I like to collect cheese"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be schizophrenic but im cured now .....and me..... and me too !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Yes it can be lonely being single but fortunately I have my little darlings to keep me company. 140 stuffed ferrets in period costume"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only got 124 stuffed ferrets. Show off.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've only got 124 stuffed ferrets. Show off."

But are they in period costume?

I have a collection of teddy bears on my bed, all with their own names and set places - would you like to meet Mr Fluffikins Sawyer?

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I had to call at B&Q on the way over, my spade is blunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" The doctor is fairly sure its herpes but im confident cos he was bang on with the chlymidia"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No no no its a new patio we are having put in ......

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I can meet but you'd need to get me back to the care home before lights out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to be schizophrenic but im cured now .....and me..... and me too !! "
I actually laughed out loud x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you put some makeup on please I can't get hard...and I've already taken Viagra so that options kinda played out..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Yes I do anal. Are you a qualified caver?"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The one that was said to me:

"You have a really pretty face but I just can't go there" as he ran out clutching his clothes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The one that was said to me:

"You have a really pretty face but I just can't go there" as he ran out clutching his clothes.

"

Awwwww come here to your auntie/uncle Jodie

There's another one right there

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Yes I do anal, make a selection from the drawer while I strap the harness on - this vacu-lock system means I can really thrust

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you called and asked if I could nip round and smash your back doors in how was I supposed to know you'd locked yourself out!!

Serves you right for not bothering to fill in your interests properly!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"I didn't realise women COULD orgasm! Well you live and learn eh?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When you called and asked if I could nip round and smash your back doors in how was I supposed to know you'd locked yourself out!!

"

I lol'ed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually said to me " we can't go back to mine until my mother is asleep. She's old and dying but her sleeping tablet kicks in about 10"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Actually said to me " we can't go back to mine until my mother is asleep. She's old and dying but her sleeping tablet kicks in about 10" "

Utterly speechless.....

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land


"Yes I do anal, make a selection from the drawer while I strap the harness on - this vacu-lock system means I can really thrust "

I might have to use this in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Actually said to me " we can't go back to mine until my mother is asleep. She's old and dying but her sleeping tablet kicks in about 10"

Utterly speechless....."

made me think of Norman Bates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I do anal, make a selection from the drawer while I strap the harness on - this vacu-lock system means I can really thrust

I might have to use this in the future "

Why do men assume that women do the taking when they ask if you do anal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

"Well we've rented a great club for the party. It's got private playrooms, jacuzzi, steam room and sauna, bar, dark room, and then at midnight we welcome the lord Bel Shamharoth and take the ritual cyanide"

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Some old classics:

Is it in yet cos I can't feel anything?

Is that it? Really? You're not a grower then? Oh.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Does it come in mansize?

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