FabSwingers.com forum: Femmefatales Problem Thread.

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The man I want is miles away!

Help me Femme - help me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a problem with my dongle falling out, should I contact 02 ?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I had a dream last night that four lovely men of Fab came and did all the cleaning and ironing. They were then kind enough to cook for me and pamper me in all sorts of lovely ways.

I've been despondent all day that the cleaning still needs to be done and the ironing pile appears to have grown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My boobs are getting bigger, what can I do ?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"The man I want is miles away!

Help me Femme - help me!"
Put him on wheels.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I have a problem with my dongle falling out, should I contact 02 ?

"
No start doing up the buttons/zip on ya troosers ya perve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've eaten too much kimchi and my mouth is on fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Hovercraft is fullnof eels!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should I say something?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My boobs are getting bigger, what can I do ?

"
Buy a bigger bra.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just threw a party my daughter and my house is destroyed. I don't want to clean it.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I have 8 garden peas left in the tin. Do I try and eat them all, or just eat the regular 7 and throw one out to the birds?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I've eaten too much kimchi and my mouth is on fire "
Suck someones cock that you don't like....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to go get a shower but I cant stop answering to threads on the forums

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My Hovercraft is fullnof eels!

"
Tip some vinegar in said hovercraft.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boobs are getting bigger, what can I do ?

Buy a bigger bra.

I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've eaten too much kimchi and my mouth is on fire Suck someones cock that you don't like....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

should I fart?

cos it feels like a shit

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Should I say something?

"
No....never...honesty is not always the best policy especially where an STD is concerned.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My boobs are getting bigger, what can I do ?

Buy a bigger bra.

I did

"
Lose weight or get to the family planning clinic then....

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I just threw a party my daughter and my house is destroyed. I don't want to clean it."
Then don't, live in your daughters filth until someone informs the Environmental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boobs are getting bigger, what can I do ?

Buy a bigger bra.

I did

Lose weight or get to the family planning clinic then....

Diet it is then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've eaten too much kimchi and my mouth is on fire Suck someones cock that you don't like....

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Do I open the vodka?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"should I fart?

cos it feels like a shit"
No you stink anyway, no one will notice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do I open the vodka?

Is that really a problem though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tits are getting smaller

do i get a boob job or eat something

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I want to go get a shower but I cant stop answering to threads on the forums"
Have a wank, then rub ones bits with your man custard and then you will be fresh as a daisy...and it will saved you from moving away from puter.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Do I open the vodka?

"
Thats not a problem as you will have already have opened it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to go get a shower but I cant stop answering to threads on the forumsHave a wank, then rub ones bits with your man custard and then you will be fresh as a daisy...and it will saved you from moving away from puter.

"man custard"

thats put me off a nice spotted dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh I see what you did there!

Made me feel dirty. I'm goin for a shower...

Wow! reverse psychology, you're good FemmeFatale... you're real good!

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My tits are getting smaller

do i get a boob job or eat something

"
Massage 3 times daily with creamofsumyungi.....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I fancy beans on toast but cant eat toast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My tits are getting smaller

do i get a boob job or eat something

Eat cake that works lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a problem with my dongle falling out, should I contact 02 ?

No start doing up the buttons/zip on ya troosers ya perve.

All fixed now, your special

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"man custard"

thats put me off a nice spotted dick

"
Do not go anywhere a spotted dick, chances are its not Sharpie related

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My tits are getting smaller

do i get a boob job or eat something

Massage 3 times daily with creamofsumyungi....."

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I had a dream last night that four lovely men of Fab came and did all the cleaning and ironing. They were then kind enough to cook for me and pamper me in all sorts of lovely ways.

I've been despondent all day that the cleaning still needs to be done and the ironing pile appears to have grown.

"
See Environmental Health post in thread further up.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I fancy beans on toast but cant eat toast"
Tough!

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I have 8 garden peas left in the tin. Do I try and eat them all, or just eat the regular 7 and throw one out to the birds? "
If the ladies of fab wish to fight over a pee, then let them! Throe the god damn pea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep losing my knickers, and I really wish I was joking...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men keep asking me to have sex with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The man I want is miles away!

Help me Femme - help me!Put him on wheels."

Pardon!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I am absolutely knackered but it's too early to go to bed.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I keep losing my knickers, and I really wish I was joking..."
Don't wear any....or buy them a size smaller, then they won't fall off.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm going crazy: peach or peach crumble and ice cream? Save me from myself Femme!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need sex and I'm working

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I keep losing my knickers, and I really wish I was joking...Don't wear any....or buy them a size smaller, then they won't fall off.

I'm just glad I've not got a skirt on

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By *ames blackMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Cannot get images of a certain lady out of my head.

Tea bag involved - what do I do?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"The man I want is miles away!

Help me Femme - help me!Put him on wheels.

Pardon!

"
Really???? Ok ...here we go......By some small ickle wheels...stick them to his shoes, or even better buy some roller skates and tell him to wear them....better?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Men keep asking me to have sex with them

"
Invite them all round and have a Bukkake Party...numerous birds with one stone.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I am absolutely knackered but it's too early to go to bed.

"
Move to Hong Kong its 2.30am there.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm going crazy: peach or peach crumble and ice cream? Save me from myself Femme!"
Has to be Ice cream Crumble.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I am absolutely knackered but it's too early to go to bed.

Move to Hong Kong its 2.30am there.

Good plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Men keep asking me to have sex with them

Invite them all round and have a Bukkake Party...numerous birds with one stone.

invites sent

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I need sex and I'm working "
Work harder.

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By *ibbyhunterCouple
over a year ago

keighley

can't decide which dvd to watch later,inglourious basterds or cloverfield please help.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Cannot get images of a certain lady out of my head.

Tea bag involved - what do I do?"
Get a few shares in Yorkshire Tea.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"can't decide which dvd to watch later,inglourious basterds or cloverfield please help."
Neither they are both shit...spend the evening doing Origami.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I want a poo, cant decide whether to let it brew a bit longer or go and have a push

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I want a poo, cant decide whether to let it brew a bit longer or go and have a push"
Let it brew a bit longer, otherwise your piles may burst.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

I want to buy a farm with as many varied types of livestock as possible. I'm not interested in farming in the least, this is for a side venture for me and a friend. Where should I start looking?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

I want to buy a farm with as many varied types of livestock as possible. I'm not interested in farming in the least, this is for a side venture for me and a friend. Where should I start looking?"

Farmville

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I put the little ones to bed & read a story or do I opt to unload and reload the dishwasher??

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"The man I want is miles away!

Help me Femme - help me!Put him on wheels.

Pardon!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

I want to buy a farm with as many varied types of livestock as possible. I'm not interested in farming in the least, this is for a side venture for me and a friend. Where should I start looking?

Farmville

It has to be a real farm I'm afraid...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

I want to buy a farm with as many varied types of livestock as possible. I'm not interested in farming in the least, this is for a side venture for me and a friend. Where should I start looking?

Farmville

Sadly we actually need real animals for this venture so farmville won't work!

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

I want to buy a farm with as many varied types of livestock as possible. I'm not interested in farming in the least, this is for a side venture for me and a friend. Where should I start looking?"
UK or USA?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I want a poo, cant decide whether to let it brew a bit longer or go and have a push"

Someone always lowers the tone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I want a poo, cant decide whether to let it brew a bit longer or go and have a push

Someone always lowers the tone!

"
I got in quick before ryan and his donkies

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

i want sex . im not working x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how does batman pee, I want a detailed description of the mechanism used..please help its urgent and for a uni thesis on the psychoanalytical value of bereaved super heroes

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area."

Wide variety of livestock on here

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area."
Devon.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Do I put the little ones to bed & read a story or do I opt to unload and reload the dishwasher??

"
Read them a story and then sort the dishwasher ya lazy bugger...you can the hide the Gin in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ben asks - I am a Nihilist, what should I do?

He is currently tied up

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i want sex . im not working x"
Buy a melon.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ben asks - I am a Nihilist, what should I do?

He is currently tied up

"
Ignore him, everyone else does.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"how does batman pee, I want a detailed description of the mechanism used..please help its urgent and for a uni thesis on the psychoanalytical value of bereaved super heroes "
Stop talking bollocks, if this cannot be helped...join the Liberal Party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ben asks - I am a Nihilist, what should I do?

He is currently tied up

Ignore him, everyone else does.

hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my hands feel very heavy, is it phantom titty syndrome from when I felt urs a few years ago???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area.Devon."

If memory serves, yes...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area.

Wide variety of livestock on here

Bitches and dirty dogs don't count though

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

UK, preferably in the south west area.

Wide variety of livestock on here

Bitches and dirty dogs don't count though

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Femme, great thread, heres my problem of the day

Got a good friend i found here on fab, dont play, just friends, he has got a woman to contact me who wants me to teach her to dominate and have a bi experience with, im not so sure and it appears my friend will be involved but like i said, just friends.

This girl is also saying really shocking things about my fwb and hurtful too and the whole thing has been a mare on who to believe and who is the gen one.

No idea what to do about his female friend, why is she saying such terrible things about a guy i have got to know, why do girls expect me to be this teacher of being bi, different post on that one! why is my friend trying to get us together with ideas that he knows im not comfortable,can you teach domination, for me its within you? and the biggy is why did he text me this morning telling me he is not a man to cross.

Head fuck femme, do your best xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey Femme, great thread, heres my problem of the day

This girl is also saying really shocking things about my fwb and hurtful too and the whole thing has been a mare on who to believe and who is the gen one.

Head fuck femme, do your best xxx

femme can u set me up for a shag with ms sugar????...she's a bit shy to ask me herself

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hey Femme, great thread, heres my problem of the day

This girl is also saying really shocking things about my fwb and hurtful too and the whole thing has been a mare on who to believe and who is the gen one.

Head fuck femme, do your best xxx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hey Femme, great thread, heres my problem of the day

This girl is also saying really shocking things about my fwb and hurtful too and the whole thing has been a mare on who to believe and who is the gen one.

Head fuck femme, do your best xxx

femme can u set me up for a shag with ms sugar????...she's a bit shy to ask me herself"

you never miss a trick you dog!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for the kind offer, femme, however, life has been kind to me, and I do not have any issues that I cannot resolve.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Id like to know why you dont answer your messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Id like to know why you dont answer your messages"

shes's wanking at our problems

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Femme, my neighbour has just had a new batch of kittens. Should I or shouldn't I?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Id like to know why you dont answer your messages"
I have...go to specsavers...

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Femme, my neighbour has just had a new batch of kittens. Should I or shouldn't I?"
Have you taken your exam on Guardianship of Felines?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Id like to know why you dont answer your messages

shes's wanking at our problems

"
WAKE UP PADDY!!!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Femme, my neighbour has just had a new batch of kittens. Should I or shouldn't I?Have you taken your exam on Guardianship of Felines?

No, the last one died on my watch. I have a clean DBS certificate though.

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Femme, my neighbour has just had a new batch of kittens. Should I or shouldn't I?Have you taken your exam on Guardianship of Felines?

No, the last one died on my watch. I have a clean DBS certificate though."
Step away from the Kittys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

"
Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was putting together some Ikea furniture earlier and the instructions got too complicated and I struggled to follow them. I've managed to get my dick glued in to one of the wardrobe drawers. Please help!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I was putting together some Ikea furniture earlier and the instructions got too complicated and I struggled to follow them. I've managed to get my dick glued in to one of the wardrobe drawers. Please help!"
Do you have a claw hammer handy?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just threw a party my daughter and my house is destroyed. I don't want to clean it.Then don't, live in your daughters filth until someone informs the Environmental health.

Why didn't I read this before I made the effort.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Femme

I have an overwhelming desire to dress up as a cowboy and go line dancing. I can't stop watching the achy breaky heart video in my Stetson and boots and copying all the moves. Should I share this with my wife or just indulge when she goes out ?

Worried from Woodford Green.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have a claw hammer handy?"

No, just a packet of Skittles and last weeks edition of the Radio Times. The claw hammer is an inch too far away. I wish I was better endowed...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I just threw a party my daughter and my house is destroyed. I don't want to clean it.Then don't, live in your daughters filth until someone informs the Environmental health.

Why didn't I read this before I made the effort."
Hindsight is a great thing.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to murder my boss and dispose of the body. Suggestions on best how to do it???

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab got a lot of problems

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. "
No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I want to murder my boss and dispose of the body. Suggestions on best how to do it???

"
Do you have plastic sheeting?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Femme, I have a problem thread. It's on the sleeve of my new red dress. Should I pull it?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to murder my boss and dispose of the body. Suggestions on best how to do it???

Do you have plastic sheeting?"

Yes

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

But I much prefer the Kenny Chesney look.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to murder my boss and dispose of the body. Suggestions on best how to do it???

Do you have plastic sheeting?"

Bring the remains to my farm, the pigs will dispose of the remains. Just pull the teeth first.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

But I much prefer the Kenny Chesney look. "
What look does she prefer?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

But I much prefer the Kenny Chesney look. What look does she prefer?"

Certainly not Kenny's. Last time I dressed up like him she questioned my sexuality.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

But I much prefer the Kenny Chesney look. What look does she prefer?

Certainly not Kenny's. Last time I dressed up like him she questioned my sexuality. "
It was the pvc hat with the chain on that did THAT...she told me.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Femme

Worried from Woodford Green. No...update the look to a John Deere ball cap, ranch boots and jeans....then do ya wiggle for her....if its good enough for Eric Church....

But I much prefer the Kenny Chesney look. What look does she prefer?

Certainly not Kenny's. Last time I dressed up like him she questioned my sexuality. It was the pvc hat with the chain on that did THAT...she told me.

And maybe the leather chaps was a bit too far.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many more tattoo's should I get?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"How many more tattoo's should I get?

"
Enough to get you into a carnivale

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need help waxing my crack

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need help waxing my crack

i stuck polyfiller in mine

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I need help waxing my crack

"
Wearing those pants I am sure you will receive countless offers from guys offering their services. I don't see the problem here....

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need help waxing my crack

Wearing those pants I am sure you will receive countless offers from guys offering their services. I don't see the problem here....

thanks for that none advice now how do I stop guys mailing me

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I need help waxing my crack

Wearing those pants I am sure you will receive countless offers from guys offering their services. I don't see the problem here....

thanks for that none advice now how do I stop guys mailing me

"
Take off ya pants...

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need help waxing my crack

Wearing those pants I am sure you will receive countless offers from guys offering their services. I don't see the problem here....

thanks for that none advice now how do I stop guys mailing me

Take off ya pants...

you know I keep that private

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

i thought you were here to help not ridicule x

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm never in the mood to meet anymore Femme. What can I do to get my mojo back??

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

i thought you were here to help not ridicule x"
Where did I say that? eh? eh?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm never in the mood to meet anymore Femme. What can I do to get my mojo back??

"
A visit down south will sort that.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

i thought you were here to help not ridicule xWhere did I say that? eh? eh?

hey up la you become a scouser

but they do don't don't they don't hey.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

i thought you were here to help not ridicule xWhere did I say that? eh? eh?

hey up la you become a scouser

but they do don't don't they don't hey.

"
Calm down, calm down.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

"
Where is the guarantee?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Watching something about ghosts and I have now scared myself......

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i have this urge

this desire to drink a glass of honey rum with lots of ice from between the thighs of a naked sexy woman

Drink from a glass like normal people do you perve.

i thought you were here to help not ridicule xWhere did I say that? eh? eh?

hey up la you become a scouser

but they do don't don't they don't hey.

Calm down, calm down.

im going to that there London

can you remember a programme in the 80's called one summer

main characters were billy and ickey

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm never in the mood to meet anymore Femme. What can I do to get my mojo back??

A visit down south will sort that.

Thanks for the advice, packing my bag now

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

Where is the guarantee? "

no guarantee required but can YOU help

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Watching something about ghosts and I have now scared myself......"
its under the bed.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

Where is the guarantee?

no guarantee required but can YOU help

"
If you have a glass...of course!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

Where is the guarantee?

no guarantee required but can YOU help

If you have a glass...of course!

i have the glass i have the ice i have the honey rum all i need is ........

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

Where is the guarantee?

no guarantee required but can YOU help

If you have a glass...of course!

i have the glass i have the ice i have the honey rum all i need is ........"
....a cold shower.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching something about ghosts and I have now scared myself......"

BOO

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Femme this is my problem .... a friend had a twitchy eye yesterday and I suggested a cure and don't know whether it worked or not?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Femme this is my problem .... a friend had a twitchy eye yesterday and I suggested a cure and don't know whether it worked or not?

"
Its still twitching......my eye I mean.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok...Post a problem that you have and I will do my very best to try and help you solve it....no problem too big or small.

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING THAT MAY GO TITS UP, OR RESULTS IN PROSECUTION.

(Tongue in cheek thread)

the title and the above paragraphs la

Where is the guarantee?

no guarantee required but can YOU help

If you have a glass...of course!

i have the glass i have the ice i have the honey rum all i need is ............a cold shower.

that's afterwards

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme this is my problem .... a friend had a twitchy eye yesterday and I suggested a cure and don't know whether it worked or not?

Its still twitching......my eye I mean.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh didn't work then sowwy

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Femme this is my problem .... a friend had a twitchy eye yesterday and I suggested a cure and don't know whether it worked or not?

Its still twitching......my eye I mean.

hope you have me some more cucumber

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still stuck and it's beginning to turn purple.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm still stuck and it's beginning to turn purple.

"
Oh heavens I am sorry.....eat the skittles and bash the fuck out of your cock with the Radio times till it loosens.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a real problem now ......... everything is getting muddled up on my phone and I am getting group messages from numbers I don't recognize ............. HELP .................

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Dear Fem,

Every time I go to clean my winky , I start to feel funny and white stuff comes out. It's costing me a fortune in washing powder.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Dear Fem,

Every time I go to clean my winky , I start to feel funny and white stuff comes out. It's costing me a fortune in washing powder.

"
Ask Miss stress for some Wasabi, rub on the affected area three times daily.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My beds cold

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I have a real problem now ......... everything is getting muddled up on my phone and I am getting group messages from numbers I don't recognize ............. HELP .................

"
Take your head outta the saucepan, and turn your phone the right way round.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My beds cold

"
Piss in it then!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm out of Marmite!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My beds cold

Piss in it then!"

No then it will get wet and cold

Come back Dear Deidre

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I'm out of Marmite!!

"
Holy Shit! Call the Coastguard!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My beds cold

Piss in it then!

No then it will get wet and cold

Come back Dear Deidre

"
Not while you are pissing it wouldn't..thought you single guys liked quick gratification.?!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My beds cold

Piss in it then!

No then it will get wet and cold

Come back Dear Deidre

i would rather have majorie proops at least she gave advice with compassion

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

My home made cheese and onion bread rolls are lush, I ate more than I should have. What should I serve for lunch tomorrow instead with the home made Soup?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My home made cheese and onion bread rolls are lush, I ate more than I should have. What should I serve for lunch tomorrow instead with the home made Soup?"

i think Dr Ruth femme has left the building

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My home made cheese and onion bread rolls are lush, I ate more than I should have. What should I serve for lunch tomorrow instead with the home made Soup?

i think Dr Ruth femme has left the building

"
Fucking hell give me a chance...I am eating my sausage!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't cope in this world, I need to get back in my saucepan .... help !!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"My home made cheese and onion bread rolls are lush, I ate more than I should have. What should I serve for lunch tomorrow instead with the home made Soup?"
Make another batch, or substitute them with pieces of cardboard and say they are Ryvita.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"My home made cheese and onion bread rolls are lush, I ate more than I should have. What should I serve for lunch tomorrow instead with the home made Soup?Make another batch, or substitute them with pieces of cardboard and say they are Ryvita."

Thanks, I'll put the bread maker on timer for the morning, and call this batch a practise, then I can ate the last one.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *ames blackMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

'Fucking hell give me a chance...I am eating my sausage!'

More mind images - no bloody sleep again haha

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have 8 garden peas left in the tin. Do I try and eat them all, or just eat the regular 7 and throw one out to the birds? "

Pmsl

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm out of Marmite!!

Holy Shit! Call the Coastguard!

can we make it the Fire Brigade??

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people put pictures on their profile with them half naked and the background full of dirty washing?

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 24 and in bed at this time on a sat night. Boring life. Help!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Why do people put pictures on their profile with them half naked and the background full of dirty washing? "
They have a laundrette fetish...don't be so judgemental!

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sock has stuck to the blister on my ankle, should I cat round the blister to get my sock off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people put pictures on their profile with them half naked and the background full of dirty washing? They have a laundrette fetish...don't be so judgemental!

But why do they want to show it to us all???

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Thank you for posting your problems, this service is now temporarily out of action until I have had a ladywank, a bath and a sleep.

xxxx

(closed, thread got too big)

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