FabSwingers.com forum: Attached people!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

nope......

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Even if you don't know what the relationship situation was?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope!! I've had guys pretend to be single but it always comes out in the wash, if you chat a bit before you play. I'm here to have 'harmless' fun, for all involved, directly or indirectly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

True

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Even if you don't know what the relationship situation was?

if I can't talk to the 3rd party and make sure they are okay with it..... nope!!! its a non starter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No..... But in a club it would be different as you might do unknowingly what the circumstances are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No !!!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

far too many single fellas about for me to get involved in complicated affairs like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

No one can guarantee it but you can take several precautions to reduce the likelihood

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By *aughtynigel02121980Man
over a year ago

Brandon

I would always make sure their partner was fine with things. And would always like a chat with them beforehand to check. As for Me? I have a girlfriend who knows when i have a meet as i always check with her. Also whoever i meet the person I am meeting is more than welcome to have a chat just to clarify that all is above board. No secrets = no problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

No one can guarantee it but you can take several precautions to reduce the likelihood

"
agreed as we do when arranging meets, as we would not intentionally meet a married person, however, unfortunately there will always be attached people who will lie and state they are single no matter what

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What about if that person was in a sexless relationship and him/her was only there for their kids and didn't want to leave

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

Has happened to me twice where they said they were single and weren't, but everything pointed to them being single. My faith in men has been severely dented because of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

*but that only applies to Willabooby!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"What about if that person was in a sexless relationship and him/her was only there for their kids and didn't want to leave "

happens a lot but how do you REALLY know its sexless? I am in this situation at mo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

Has happened to me twice where they said they were single and weren't, but everything pointed to them being single. My faith in men has been severely dented because of it. "
sorry to hear that, but i can imagine how it would make you feel !!! not a good thing is it? honesty isnt much to ask for i don't think !!There are good people on here though , it's just finding them !

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

No.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"What about if that person was in a sexless relationship and him/her was only there for their kids and didn't want to leave "

nope... that is then just an excuse.... and I wouldn't want to be part of someone else's deceit....

if they 3rd party was truely okay with it... you wouldn't need to hide it from them, so that tell me all I need to know

so again, if I can't talk to the 3rd party and they are okay with it... its a non starter...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

Has happened to me twice where they said they were single and weren't, but everything pointed to them being single. My faith in men has been severely dented because of it"

Me too, really crappy situation, thankfully it came out before I played with them.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

No from me!

And the way I meet, I think I would easily find out soon enough if they weren't single

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ask. X it doesn't bother me either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a number of attached males message us and give them the due they have told us in the message

We reply with can you in vite the wife , the majority of them appear no longer on site

Regardless them mentioning they have a bad way etc, do they really if they leave the sie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I don't like unnecessary drama and don't do anything that might bring it in to my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if I wasnt told and I didnt ask, I'd be glad he didnt bust in the room and fuck my shit up.

Otherwise it's nice to be told I'm about to take that risk so I can say no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm sure I have many times at clubs and parties, I don't get my questionnaire out before I play with someone

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"i'm sure I have many times at clubs and parties, I don't get my questionnaire out before I play with someone

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By *utterflywingsWoman
over a year ago

Creswell Derbyshire

Not a chance in hell..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not knowingly

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"i'm sure I have many times at clubs and parties, I don't get my questionnaire out before I play with someone

I think we all have....I've seen men take off their wedding rings lol...however that is their choice and not going to judge them on that...

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By *ooking4you69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

What difference does it make?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never knowingly play with an attached person playing without their partners knowledge.

Unfortunately some people out there are that are so good at lying you would never find out.I was duped by someone like this and I now no longer trust guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope just not worth the emotional rollercoaster

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"What difference does it make?"

For me I was involved with a married man....it got out and devastated a lot of people....l can't put myself through the guilt of it....so to me it makes a huge difference if they are attached..,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stole this quote but we all have a moral compass it's just that not all of us go where it points.

The more this question crops the more it becomes clear with regards to those who actually consider the bigger picture and those who are simply in it for their own gratification at any cost.

We have lived our lives to date trying not to cause hurt to anyone and we won't be changing that approach anytime soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????"

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah doesnt bother me just like them yo be upfront with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never accommodate or give my phone number out to a guy playing away, if they want to fuck up their marriage that's their choice but I don't want their Mrs banging on my door or calling me up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

I'm looking for a friend with benifits not a life partner so i'd prefer it if they had a significant other in there life as that would help with the emotion support for when I'm not there or can't be there .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No we won't. We are fully open with each other so why invite someone to join us who isn't on the same wave length.

Plus it's cheating not swinging and we can't be bothered with other people's problems. Life throws enough shit at you at times why invite more of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

Would you think the same if you were the one that was getting cheated on though. I very much doubt it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????"

If they were coming to mine I don't think I would ask. I tend to leave people to tell me what they want and the only thing I push on is if they regularly get tested which is far more important.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?"

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL"

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never do it knowingly there's a very distinct difference between cheating and swinging. Swinging Is about trust and sexual freedom between 2 parties that agree on their own terms, what they want in order to add another dimension to the love that they share. Cheating is dishonest, unloyal, cowardess, and ultimately hurtful as you can think you will be as "discreet" as possible but these things always come out in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really.

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By *irtyDee33Woman
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

"I would never knowingly play with an attached person playing without their partners knowledge.

Unfortunately some people out there are that are so good at lying you would never find out.I was duped by someone like this and I now no longer trust guys. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really."

Enlighten us

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

As much as I would appreciate having that knowledge, I'm afraid it would still be a no - and that's due to MY morals, not their's.

I couldn't bring myself to be an accomplice to a potentially devastating act.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really.

Enlighten us

Guess he's got his only justification for cheating presently or in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

No one can guarantee it but you can take several precautions to reduce the likelihood

agreed as we do when arranging meets, as we would not intentionally meet a married person, however, unfortunately there will always be attached people who will lie and state they are single no matter what

there are lots of lies told to get a meet...

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

"
I can totally understand your point there.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"No"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really."

ive heard many a story about why people cheat..

im yet to hear a reason which isnt 100% selfishness and is done to benefit the other person..

im a believer of sticking by commitment

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really.

ive heard many a story about why people cheat..

im yet to hear a reason which isnt 100% selfishness and is done to benefit the other person..

im a believer of sticking by commitment"
Buy why judge someone who doesn't have the same "morals" as you? Ultimately we are all selfish in one form or another are we not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

and those who are happy to play with cheats do so with a selfish mindset..

selfishness is a huge turn off for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really.

ive heard many a story about why people cheat..

im yet to hear a reason which isnt 100% selfishness and is done to benefit the other person..

im a believer of sticking by commitmentBuy why judge someone who doesn't have the same "morals" as you? Ultimately we are all selfish in one form or another are we not?"

it takes alot of selfishnesd to be a cheater

its not judging. Its the facts presented

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

and those who are happy to play with cheats do so with a selfish mindset..

selfishness is a huge turn off for me"
Just as well you never ever have played with someone who is attached then.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Polite enquiry

Do you ever consider that what participate in may destroy the life of the significant other thereby rendering ineffective the emotional support for when you are not there?

As he is married and playing away himself...really doubt it...LOL

The more I read these threads the more it becomes apparent that folk are either of the 'have a conscience' or 'morals of an alley cat/tom cat swinging mindset

Even more are so judgmental knowing sweet FA about other people its a joke really.

ive heard many a story about why people cheat..

im yet to hear a reason which isnt 100% selfishness and is done to benefit the other person..

im a believer of sticking by commitmentBuy why judge someone who doesn't have the same "morals" as you? Ultimately we are all selfish in one form or another are we not?

it takes alot of selfishnesd to be a cheater

its not judging. Its the facts presented"
No...it is not. You have judged someone on what they choose to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's not about taking the moral high ground, I just find deceit hard to deal with. The most attractive trait I possess is my honesty,I guess im just old skool and a dying breed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would always make sure their partner was fine with things. And would always like a chat with them beforehand to check. As for Me? I have a girlfriend who knows when i have a meet as i always check with her. Also whoever i meet the person I am meeting is more than welcome to have a chat just to clarify that all is above board. No secrets = no problems"

Yet your profile doesn't say that so do you tell people in your first message to them? I only ask as I had someone tell me that he was married when we got to the lets meet stage but his wife knows as that is when she thought it best to tell people, put me off a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if you are ok with going with a cheat then you are judging it ok yo go with them..

the word judging is always thrown around too much in these threads..

as i said. Give me a situation that isnt cheating for selfish reasons and i wont see it as all being selfish

in 3 years i have never seen such a reason though

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"For me it's not about taking the moral high ground, I just find deceit hard to deal with. The most attractive trait I possess is my honesty,I guess im just old skool and a dying breed."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally couldn't give to hoots about whether there in a relationship married or what ever.

I take each person as I find them and only base my decision on if there right for me on how they behave towards me .

Life is a lonely past time on your own after all.

and those who are happy to play with cheats do so with a selfish mindset..

selfishness is a huge turn off for meJust as well you never ever have played with someone who is attached then.

not knowingly no...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do now

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I do now "
You do now what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not knowingly - and not without good reason!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

[Removed by poster at 13/10/13 00:46:33]

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

"
Why should "they" explain?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

Why should "they" explain? "

To point out the error of being judgemental, nothing more sinister being implied.

If there is a good reason lets clear up all the misconceptions

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Not knowingly no...but I don't care what other people do. It is their life not mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

Simpler to move on rather than come across in a stalkerish way asking personal questions. There are probably as many people out there who have affairs who have a conscience as those in a committed relationship. On more than one occasion I have heard couples tisk people they know who swing saying if they had a conscience for the effects it could have on their children they wouldn't do it. Who are they to judge and who are you to do so too!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

Why should "they" explain?

To point out the error of being judgemental, nothing more sinister being implied.

If there is a good reason lets clear up all the misconceptions

"
Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I'm married, I play away. I don't seek permission or judgement. My choice is mine to live with. It says I'm married on my profile so you can take or leave.

There are people who choose to stay together for their kids and can share the same space. We're adult enough to recognise that each needs space and we respect each other's freedom.

I don't judge other's morals or motives but do prefer to know up front so I have that same choice too. Sadly because a guy might not have a wife, they often forget to mention their partner or girlfriend. I don't like people who lie to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple months ago I was with a large group of 'vanilla' friends and the discussion turned to swinging (in no way led by me I hasten to add).

Everyone of them was more disturbed by the idea of someone willingly swapping their partner than someone cheating. Surprisingly when it was suggested that one involved deception and the other one didn't the general retort was that both circumstances involved committed people who then decide they want extracurricular sex.

'The fact that one gets permission and the other doesn't is just the luck of the draw'.

Although that's not my _iew, I can understand it.

I try not to judge, it isn't always easy, but the more I try the more tolerant I become and the better I feel about myself. Some may judge that as being selfish......my _iew is that those who want to judge, will.

I don't proactively or wittingly meet unfaithful women, but I accept things in this scene on face value and don't spend my time trying to catch people out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I stole this quote but we all have a moral compass it's just that not all of us go where it points.

The more this question crops the more it becomes clear with regards to those who actually consider the bigger picture and those who are simply in it for their own gratification at any cost.

We have lived our lives to date trying not to cause hurt to anyone and we won't be changing that approach anytime soon "

well Said

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

No. Too much potential for drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm married, I play away. I don't seek permission or judgement. My choice is mine to live with. It says I'm married on my profile so you can take or leave.

There are people who choose to stay together for their kids and can share the same space. We're adult enough to recognise that each needs space and we respect each other's freedom.

doesnt sound to me like you are in a relationship to be able to be a cheater

you have both agreed your only in the same house for the kids sake and have nothing else to do with each other as you both both respect each others freedom.

its good you talked and came to an agreement rather than just pretend to each other and sneak about with lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Portraying those who either cheat or play with cheats in a bad light implies judgemental..........

Probably simpler to ask those who do that to explain the whys and where fores of simply fucking with no conscience

Why should "they" explain?

To point out the error of being judgemental, nothing more sinister being implied.

If there is a good reason lets clear up all the misconceptions

Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?"

a good reason would be one that benefits the oyhet half

a bsd reason is one that would cause upset to the other half

is that not just a clear definition of good and bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have, but J knew about it every step of the way, n we were more than aware of how the other parties relationship was. Might have been wrong still, but to be honest im only really concerned with how my relationship is

I'm in the sort of relationship where that will never happen to me and I would never go behind Js back either.

No idea if its something either one of us would do again though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not knowingly or willingly and believe me when i say i can check too.

After being cited as a cause for divorce many years ago when i was young and stupid, it cost me 2 people very dear to me and nearly drove 1 to suicide. I will never allow myself to be put in that situation again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not knowingly or willingly and believe me when i say i can check too.

Would love to know how you can check?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't ask. We attend clubs and parties for swinging, I have absolutely no doubt that some of the guys who attend are attached.

If we do meet single guys then we either go to their home or we meet in hotels. My questions to them on deciding a meet will be in relation to what we are about to embark on, so it

will be dates and times suitable, sexual expectation etc. It won't include asking about wives, kids, professions etc, because quite frankly I'm not interested

and it's not relevant for one off NSA sex.

I don't give men my telephone no, I don't want to chat on phones, go for

coffee etc. My contact with them will be via fab and 'on the night'.

I don't think about wives or girlfriends at home, worrying about how their lives would be affected. The people who decide to swing will take responsibility for their own actions.

As I've been on here a long time I see these threads regularly. Lots of people will say they don't play with cheaters and give out long drawn out reasons for this, many reasons playing on the emotional, seemingly ever so concerned about wives and husbands sat at home, the need for honesty, etc etc. If a gorgeous man or woman wanted to meet them, one who was funny and charming, a good listener, attractive, intelligent etc, I bet many, in the comfort and privacy of their own inbox, would agree to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't ask. We attend clubs and parties for swinging, I have absolutely no doubt that some of the guys who attend are attached.

If we do meet single guys then we either go to their home or we meet in hotels. My questions to them on deciding a meet will be in relation to what we are about to embark on, so it

will be dates and times suitable, sexual expectation etc. It won't include asking about wives, kids, professions etc, because quite frankly I'm not interested

and it's not relevant for one off NSA sex.

I don't give men my telephone no, I don't want to chat on phones, go for

coffee etc. My contact with them will be via fab and 'on the night'.

I don't think about wives or girlfriends at home, worrying about how their lives would be affected. The people who decide to swing will take responsibility for their own actions.

Some of us take responsibility for our iwn actions in life too and dont see things as everyone elses problem. I could never knowingly be the tool that allows a cheater to cheat. To me thats getting involved and judging the situation... by walking away and choosing no involvement then you arent judging whether its ok to do it or not your just choosing to stay out of it and not listen to reasons.. there is always 2 sides yo a story anyway.

and lets face it people throw that word judging aroubd so much on these threads..

and no matter how good looking they are i walk away.. plenty more fish in the sea

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I'm married, but yet I'm here playing, it's my choice....just as it's yours to meet me or not x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????"

No!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

I don't, but as I don't invite anyone into my home who doesn't accommodate, men know I play with wax, may shave them and if they're good reward them with a tramp stamp temporary tattoo "property of Miss Vee"...think I'm safe in assuming they're unattached!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"What about if that person was in a sexless relationship and him/her was only there for their kids and didn't want to leave "

We all have choices. I left my husband after nearly going blind. There was no guarantee my sight would return. I left him the house and its contents just in case things went tits up the girls would always have a home.

My ex-husband and I never used our kids as bargaining tools. I moved four miles so he could still see the kids every day. We've never missed an open day, college visit, graduation etc. Our girls have been raised by two parents in two houses.

He's on his own so the girls phone, visit him every day. Using the kids is a cop out for people seeking to have their cake and eat it.

Personally, life is complicated enough. There are millions of single people to play with so I don't see the need of complicating my life with married men and their accompanying baggage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about if that person was in a sexless relationship and him/her was only there for their kids and didn't want to leave

He's on his own so the girls phone, visit him every day. Using the kids is a cop out for people seeking to have their cake and eat it.

Personally, life is complicated enough. There are millions of single people to play with so I don't see the need of complicating my life with married men and their accompanying baggage."

best thing is qn amicle split..

to me kids needs are way more important than my own... i would always put them first and do whats best for them. Risking putting them in the middle if a split full of hurt just to get my end away is as ive said before.. way to selfish and self centredness is not a nice trait ti me

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"What difference does it make?"

Oh let me see...

I play with wax: it marks.

I don't like pubic hair: so I shave it off.

I use paddles: leaves marks.

I wear heavy perfume: it leaves a scent trail.

I hang playmates from hooks: it leaves a mark.

I leave a tramp stamp temporary tattoo "property of Miss Vee"

Reckon how I play makes a difference?!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Yeah doesnt bother me just like them yo be upfront with me

You're nothing more than a receptacle for them to empty their sacs into but you expect them to be more honest with you than the person they exchanged vows with?!!

Yeah...right, good luck with that!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????

If they were coming to mine I don't think I would ask. I tend to leave people to tell me what they want and the only thing I push on is if they regularly get tested which is far more important. "

Another person in the land of make believe. Do you honestly think someone with little or no regard for their partner is going to put you on a higher plain by being honest and truthful with you?!!

Delusional or what!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

I could get into a debate about things but I choose not to as in my experience it will lead to let's say judgmental opinions being throw my way which in the end will lead to this post being shut down .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

" I'm in the sort of relationship where that will never happen to me"

The divorce courts are full of people who've naively uttered those same words: my sister being one of them!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

People will do what they like and justify it or not.

I however don't want to be involved. At all. I don't care what the situation is. Not even if the wife was available to chat and give permission. Could be anyone!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????

If they were coming to mine I don't think I would ask. I tend to leave people to tell me what they want and the only thing I push on is if they regularly get tested which is far more important.

Another person in the land of make believe. Do you honestly think someone with little or no regard for their partner is going to put you on a higher plain by being honest and truthful with you?!!

Delusional or what! "

I thought this also. No ones gonna admit to not getting tested regularly are they?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment ."

you already tried to justify your thinking in your first post. Seems you dudnt like some of the responses and now post this

im confused over the part in your profile that says you respect all woman.. not sure how that can be true when you cant respect the woman you made vows with?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment ."

No one has to justify being on site. However, those that don't want to be judged often vent their frustration at other peoples choices: I'm married and cheating, why won't liberated swingers meet me for NSA sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment .

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here .

I'm my own man which of coarse means I'm only going to appeal to a small fraction of people on here just like I only appeal to a small fraction of vanilla society.

Opinions pasted off as facts is such a unattractive trait in a human being but hay those who share that opinion will love it playing to the gallery I think that's called .

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment .

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here .

I'm my own man which of coarse means I'm only going to appeal to a small fraction of people on here just like I only appeal to a small fraction of vanilla society.

Opinions pasted off as facts is such a unattractive trait in a human being but hay those who share that opinion will love it playing to the gallery I think that's called .

You're getting defensive and missing my point!

It wasn't a personal comment to you, only you know why you've chosen to make it so.

There are married people who get annoyed people don't want to meet them, that's all I was saying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment .

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here .

I'm my own man which of coarse means I'm only going to appeal to a small fraction of people on here just like I only appeal to a small fraction of vanilla society.

Opinions pasted off as facts is such a unattractive trait in a human being but hay those who share that opinion will love it playing to the gallery I think that's called .

You're getting defensive and missing my point!

It wasn't a personal comment to you, only you know why you've chosen to make it so.

There are married people who get annoyed people don't want to meet them, that's all I was saying."

OK I'll apologise on this but I will add if you quote someone are you not aiming the point at them .

No problem have a great Sunday could be better but hay the garden needs the rain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment .

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here .

I'm my own man which of coarse means I'm only going to appeal to a small fraction of people on here just like I only appeal to a small fraction of vanilla society.

Opinions pasted off as facts is such a unattractive trait in a human being but hay those who share that opinion will love it playing to the gallery I think that's called .

not sure why your fobbing off fact as opinion.. yes its my opinion to find someone unattractive cos of a trait.. but the fact written in black and white is a different thing..

when people put their own needs over that of others. Is that not the definition of selfish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adjective(of a person, action, or motive) Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure

look at that i could be a dictionary :D

now can someone tell me how that description doesnt describe a cheater?

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

ive had all his problems this morning shes arguing all the time

its a good job he has me!!!!!!!

my one later is unattached so much easier

I was the cause of one divorce when she found my pics on his phone then found out he left them for her to see cos he wanted out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really does not bother me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive had all his problems this morning shes arguing all the time

its a good job he has me!!!!!!!

my one later is unattached so much easier

I was the cause of one divorce when she found my pics on his phone then found out he left them for her to see cos he wanted out"

wow... maybe if he had respect gor his wife and worked as hard on his marriage as he seems to on having a lover he woukdnt have so many arguements.. does this guy not have friends or family to turn too... noone said marriage is easy or i cant imagine he is being forcedcto stay there.. spunds like he needs to grow up and face his responsibilities imho

there is always 2 sides to a story..

as for the one who wanted your pics found. How gutless was he

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"ive had all his problems this morning shes arguing all the time

its a good job he has me!!!!!!!

my one later is unattached so much easier

I was the cause of one divorce when she found my pics on his phone then found out he left them for her to see cos he wanted out

there is always 2 sides to a story..

as for the one who wanted your pics found. How gutless was he"

actually she treats HIM like dirt im surprised he has not walked out before but he loves his kid

the gutless one tried to make me feel I owed him until I sussed it

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here.

You're quoted as I was referring to the above! Pick any married and cheating thread and you'll find they're mostly started by people married and cheating complaining people don't want to meet them, and why should it matter as it's NSA sex!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????"

Yes

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By *ott121Man
over a year ago

Romford

Yes I do not mind until unless the person is loyal with me

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Would you play with someone who was in a relationship and there partner didn't know ?????"

No not knowingly...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I see my post yesterday got a lot of responce .

So i'd like to add a few points in responce .

Why should I answer any question about my home life or why I am doing what I'm doing .

I don't need to justify my action to anyone on here and I don't expect any one here to justify the reason for there actions to me.

How I live my life is my choice how each of you live your life's is your choice .

Don't get me wrong I'm a open guy with friends but with strangers on the internet no as I find it allows people to mouth off in a way they never would in a face to face environment ."

Are you open and honest with your wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you play with someone who told you they were single but weren't?........ must happen all the time on here ...... because how does anyone really know if someone is single?

late evening phone call....can he accomodate is the first thing...then can he spend the night..pretty hard to do those when you're attached.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?"

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think everyone has take this the wrong way. If I read it correctly I'm being asked if I would meet someone who is attached?

If Siamese twins approached me, I would be open to the suggestion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how horny I am at the time and if they turn me on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would be only borowing him to scratch an itch, just for an hour or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i would be only borowing him to scratch an itch, just for an hour or two."

What's his rightful owner doing in the meantime?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i would be only borowing him to scratch an itch, just for an hour or two.

What's his rightful owner doing in the meantime?

at work probably.

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By *uicybum62Woman
over a year ago

leeds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you will never here me ask that question because I don't care as I'm not interested in trying to be friends with or meet everyone on here.

Oh I see the fact I'm married and admit it though of coarse a handicap has not stopped me from having two long term arrangements in the last six years so I tend to not worry about it if I'm honest .

Would I have more luck in just getting laid as a single guy of coarse but as I'm not in it for just the sex think 70 / 30 sex being the bigger number i am not bothered as i'd be the same single facing t the same problems when looking for a long term arrangement .

As for all the question I will not answer any for reason I've already listed not worth the aggro honest answers give those who answer them .

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

"
Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

thank you , one of them days where my brain and fingers not coordinated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

At last someone with a brain to think things through .

A big thumbs up to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that people choosing to cheat do it for their own reasons but I've never yet heard a reason that's for in selfish reasons and probably never will which is why I don't agree with it and if that makes me "biased" then fair enough I am

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

At last someone with a brain to think things through .

A big thumbs up to you

or it is just thumbs up because someone agrees with your opinion.....

when i first started... did i play with attached people knowingly .... I'll be honest I did...

do I now? not knowingly..... no!

what changed.... an incident that showed me that "3rd parties" can be and are hurt... I've seen anger.. pain..

I am in this for fun.. I am not here to be complicit in someone elses deception

to be honest, it if was all going to be okay, and the "3rd party" was going to accept it and be happy.... they would have told them..simple as!

there would be no need to hide it from the person they profess to love more than any other...

risk, reward huh... the reward of sex vs the risk of destroying the people they profess to love more than any other...

but hey.. the sex must be fantastic to risk all that...... right?????

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I agree that people choosing to cheat do it for their own reasons but I've never yet heard a reason that's for in selfish reasons and probably never will which is why I don't agree with it and if that makes me "biased" then fair enough I am "

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway but if we were, we wouldn't be asking for a reason anyway.

As far as I am concerned it isn't anything to do with me what other people do with their lives and I am not going to start preaching to them why they shouldn't be doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway but if we were, we wouldn't be asking for a reason anyway.

As far as I am concerned it isn't anything to do with me what other people do with their lives and I am not going to start preaching to them why they shouldn't be doing it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

At last someone with a brain to think things through .

A big thumbs up to you

or it is just thumbs up because someone agrees with your opinion.....

when i first started... did i play with attached people knowingly .... I'll be honest I did...

do I now? not knowingly..... no!

what changed.... an incident that showed me that "3rd parties" can be and are hurt... I've seen anger.. pain..

I am in this for fun.. I am not here to be complicit in someone elses deception

to be honest, it if was all going to be okay, and the "3rd party" was going to accept it and be happy.... they would have told them..simple as!

there would be no need to hide it from the person they profess to love more than any other...

risk, reward huh... the reward of sex vs the risk of destroying the people they profess to love more than any other...

but hey.. the sex must be fantastic to risk all that...... right?????

Now now that couple never said they agree or disagree with people who play away from home did they no I don't think so.

But they got why its a pointless exercise to even consider let alone bother to get into a debate with those who have already made there mind up .

Debate is for those with a open mind not for those who think they know it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

These threads may polarise opinion but they also ask a question and as such folk who participate are free to offer politely their thoughts.

What I always find bizzare is how some folk want to try to make the extremely daft assumption that somehow 'Us Swingers' are a cut above our vanilla counterparts and that somehow we should all be condoning something that in the vanilla world is seen as the ultimate betrayal.

I am 55 and in my lifetime I have yet to meet anyone who would condone such a thing, in fact in every 'affair' that friends or family have suffered in its been the complete opposite. There is no understanding, there may well be some conditional forgiveness but there is never a pain free way forwards or backwards.

I would bet my mortgage that folk posting on here supporting the don't judge theory would themselves be emotionally destroyed if they themselves were cheated on. I also wonder just how much support they would have for the cheat who betrayed their family members or close friends?

In my experience those who stray usually end up shunned, families are torn apart, friendships destroyed etc etc.

For me, and us in our couples profile we tried it once, played with FB's and hated ourselves for it afterwards.

For me and us we don't believe that those who cheat are bringing anything to the swinging world apart from their wish to involve others in their affairs.

If that's judgemental then guilty as charged but in the many years we have been playing we have seldom met folk who feel differantly.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 13/10/13 19:49:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway ."

In the very politest possible terms would you share with us why that is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea and it is hard to find good people and there are people that have sexless marriages and are just trying to carry on and especially if they have been in a long marriage xx and not everybody lies x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

" Who are you to say what is a good reason and what isnt? Seriously?

Which is why I posed the question, I can't think of a good reason but was hoping someone would clear up my confusion

Because you are so against it your _iew will be biased so no reason would be a good reason.

I am sure the people who play away have their own reasons for doing it and they don't need us to approve of them.

These threads may polarise opinion but they also ask a question and as such folk who participate are free to offer politely their thoughts.

I don't believe anyone has said anything different

Don't confuse mining your own business and letting others get on with theirs as condoning

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway .

In the very politest possible terms would you share with us why that is?"

Why we don't play with attached people or why I don't care what peoples reasons for playing away are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Debate is for those with a open mind not for those who think they know it all

I did ask before, what is it we don't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway .

In the very politest possible terms would you share with us why that is?

Why we don't play with attached people or why I don't care what peoples reasons for playing away are?"

Why you don't play with attached people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't confuse mining your own business and letting others get on with theirs as condoning

Surely if we minded our own business so to speak these forums would grind to a halt

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As people repeatedly state "this is meant to be fun"

Fun should not intentionally put someone at risk of being hurt or harmed to the point of devastation - directly or indirectly.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Debate is for those with a open mind not for those who think they know it all

yeh... that goes both ways.....

that is right... so let me tell you what changed my mind... I've told this story before... and funny enough every time I tell it, it suddenly gets glossed over... let see if it is any different this time...

I met a "well respected single guy" at a house party.. nice enough.. got on well...

on way home from party... "well respected single guy" has an accident on the motorway (fell asleep at the wheel) and dies....

that is when we find out "well respected single guy" wasn't single.... and wife finds out about the life he had been leading and the site he had been going to....

and she came on the site... and the venom and pain and anger in what she typed will stay with me.....

and at that point that anonymous "3rd person" became so real that I swore I would never again be complicit in cause that damage to someone....

you wanted open mind.... like I said in the bit you probably didn't read before... I did before, I don't now...

due to life experience and hearing about experiences that have happened to other people, that has moulded how I feel....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Thats the point though, some of us don't care what their reasons are as we never knowingly play with attached people anyway .

In the very politest possible terms would you share with us why that is?

Why we don't play with attached people or why I don't care what peoples reasons for playing away are?

Why you don't play with attached people."

We don't watch clock watchers, we don't want any hassle if a partner found out, we don't want to be part of someones misery if they find their OH playing away.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Don't confuse mining your own business and letting others get on with theirs as condoning

Surely if we minded our own business so to speak these forums would grind to a halt

Now you are being pedantic now. Stop trying to make out I am telling you that you shouldn't have your _iew.