FabSwingers.com forum: Body issues.

By *beautifulpain OP Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

I don't think I'm fat by any means I just have a belly, I don't think I would be 100% comfortable playing with a couple where the guy was all toned. Would still do it though, face my fears and all that.

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You found someone so no worries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views.... "

I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.

But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing.

i dont like men who are too overweight though, plump is ok.

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By *beautifulpain OP Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views....

I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.

But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess."

Julia likes hairy too, there I fail.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a six pack never had. I never bother about getting my belly out at the beach (or a club). I am happy with my body so no it dose not bother me if someone next to me has a six pack

OP you don't look as if you have a beer belly so get over it and have fun. most women are more interested in a connection with some one although looks help its not top of there list

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By *beautifulpain OP Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing."

I could not agree more, personality is the most attractive thing in a person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views....

I seem to find women in my area always go for the toned guys. Kinda makes me feel a bit self conscious. I do have a little beer belly but not much.

But yes i do find myself thinking what if i looked like that would i get more meets. Doesnt help im kind of hairy too i guess.

Julia likes hairy too, there I fail.....

Dont worry about it dude. I get judged for:

Being a single male

Not being toned

Not having veri's but women here dont like single men as apparently we are all rude lol

Being hairy

Lol im screwed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think most people are bothered about someones body.

Everyone knows what average is and average is normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we are what we are and you have your partner in crime and should be very happy as she's an attractive lady.

Myself I am not toned but getting there but don't want to to be to toned as that;s not attractive either.

We all get judge here rightly or wrongly but I take everything with a pinch of salt. Not everyone likes a rugby physique but other love it and not everyone like a hair man and like your partner some really do like it.

You look like a sound guy and girl be happy with what you have been given and go with the flow ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/13 19:21:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's weird on here cos I'm a cuddly build and in the real world while I'm training to lose weight I'm a confident bloke , on here a lot of the women seem to want guys with athletic builds and huge cocks. Kind of destroys your confidence a bit but hey ho, onwards and upwards....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to worry, but i am skinny, always will be.

need to get a few extra pounds on...lol.

Not too many though

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I like the rugged men with a bit of meat....not really into the toned typa guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"it doesnt really matter because the sex isnt any better with a fit man and its to do with how you get on with each other and what you both like doing.

I could not agree more, personality is the most attractive thing in a person

nobody is perfect, and in our experience people who are seriously conscious of trying to attain a perfect body and spend a lot of time on this aren't the kind of fun and laid back people we like to meet to be honest. A few brain cells and ability to have a bit of a giggle much more important than a six pack

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Really don't worry about it mega gym fit guys are in the gym all the time so neither have the time or energy to find a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha I've lost count of the times I've opened a message to read the words...not my type....somewhere in there. Good job I'm not the sensitive type....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a rugged type. If to slim I might break them

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

"As I am not exactly in prime shape myself I tend to wonder what a toned fit guy would want with me when I get messages from them. I am sure there are fit toned girls to match that they could meet. I tend to be less keen to meet at I see them as kinda out of my league if that makes sense xx"

I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.

I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.

Also don't put yourself down. No one is any better, or deserves any more credit based on there looks. Show people you are confident about yourself, with the way you present yourself, as your confidence is the biggest attraction.

And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.

I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.

And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.

Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.

I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.

And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.

Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others. "

To both the above posts.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I realised fairly recently that at any given moment in time you are who and what you are. People can take you or leave you because you can't really change anything significant in the next 5 minutes, the next hour or really, even the next month.

Decide to change things if you want to but don't let it stop you from enjoying now. You can wait forever to do things if you wait until everything is perfect.

And if someone isn't interested then move on. Don't try, don't get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.

I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.

And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.

Also you should only improve yourself physically if you want to do it for yourself and not for the benefits of others.

To both the above posts.

Entirely agree. I'm pretty sure I'm about the oldest female here, and I felt pretty selfconscious about that; age, build, - how could I compete? And after a few meets I realised that my not-so-slim-body and age didn't make a blind bit of difference. I have met some younger men, in whose company I would have felt totally out my my comfort zone when younger. Now I feel appreciated for who I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views.... "

Although i try and stay in shape(for myself) i have no problems seeing girls of all shapes and sizes (check my profile,i mentioned it) it's all about if you click with the person and it's not all about body shape

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im 5ft 7 and im 13 stone. I have a pot belly, have had it for years. Im not unhealthy nor am i overweight. I just know that at 45 years of age, the belly aint going anywhere no matter how much i try.

Im comfortable in my skin, thats the important thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im comfortable in my skin, thats the important thing "

That is the key to having fun Tender learn to like yourself and feel comfortable with who you are body shape and personality before you open up to others...i dont mean open your legs lol.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

[Removed by poster at 10/10/13 03:38:30]

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I know a few big women who feel like this, and who feel too self conscience around guys with a toned physique.

I urge you not to see yourself as not matching up, as what is the inside is far more important then how a person looks.

And when someone comes along that you like, tell yourself ............ Yes I am good enough. Now lets find out if there good enough for me.

Liz your posts always make sense. Thank you.

I have finally gained confidence and now I can't keep up with the amount of meets I'm getting or the regular friends I'm making. This in turn has made my personality shine and my verifications say it all (not being big headed, but my personality is way better than my body and looks).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have so many body issues bieng bigger but love toned guys and have been with women with lovely figures once i get going i dont care.

And if they did they wouldnt play to start with...just go for it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.

We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.

It's just down to each individual how they deal with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.

We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.

It's just down to each individual how they deal with it. "

Im not saying i dont have an issue with my body but i cant change it unfortunately. I would like an extra 3 - 4 inches on my cock length.

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By *bbwlizWoman
over a year ago

oldham

Thanks babe and I'm glad your feeling more confident about your meets.

Your personality isn't better than your looks, your personality is MORE Important than anyone's looks.

Keeping that positive mental attitude going lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and max definitely arnt tonned but very confident in ourselves but u wouldn't swap max for a tonned fit guy fir love nor money its what is on the inside that counts xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You show me someone without body issues and I'll show you a liar.

We all have one part of us we wish was different in one way or another.

It's just down to each individual how they deal with it. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the beauty of this place - we all have an idea of what we like and can stick with and respect that in others.

Not everyone is everyone's cup of tea and that's fine. However, beware of preconceived misconceptions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like the poem says, no man is an island entire to itself. In that sense, even though it sounds contradictory, I personally believe that our sense of self arises from others. So I guess it is difficult, not impossible, to not compare yourself to others.

The dominant narratives within medias that when it comes to masculinity and body size, bigger and more muscular is always better. That is not necessarily always the case though.

Without condeming musculation, which seems to have its benefits, it is not wise to apply the standards of beauty defined by society to your own life. Anyone who tries to do so will likely feel incompetent and inadequate. Challenging the dominant discourse may be more productive.

Having said that , I’d like to finish by saying that the only person you should compared yourself with, is yourself.

Muhammad Ali once said : The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. You should push yourself to evolve in the way you’d like to, be it mentally or physically.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ryde

I just think that starting their profile homaging Douglas Adams makes you instantly cool and that you're under 40 fills me with hope!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is difficult as it seems as a single guy you won’t be looked at or considered unless you have massive muscle, 6 pack abs and a 8+ inch penis.

I know this isn’t the case but it does seem to be a reoccurring theme and can be off putting

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

The beauty of the site is that there are all shapes and sizes and a range of preferences within that. It’s difficult at times to stop your head taking over and overthinking or comparing yourself to others but it doesn’t help anything. Learning to accept what you are and what you’re not is helpful on the journey

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

"It is difficult as it seems as a single guy you won’t be looked at or considered unless you have massive muscle, 6 pack abs and a 8+ inch penis.

I know this isn’t the case but it does seem to be a reoccurring theme and can be off putting

BS I’d say. I am short guy with no gym fit body. Yet check my verries, all from the clubs. Your confidence and nice smile can do a lot

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By *arker secrets 321Man
over a year ago

West Bromwich

M8 ur a couple so ur doin something right ...as 4 ur body issues uv already said ur partner not into muscles and 6packs so it's not like she picking those type of guys 2 play with ....every guy on here no matter how good they look will want more bigger better so ur not alone in that thought x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.

You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.

So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When it comes to body, try not to compare yourself man. I'm sure it's worse in your mind than in reality. Everyone has their insecurities, even the 6 foot tall six pack guys. Everyone has their stuff.

You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.

So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles

I am not sure what is happening right now

But your impressed me cammo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And don't spend your time lookin' around. For something you want that can't be found".

You know which philosopher said that? Baloo the Bear.

Then again, he was a bit of a fat bastard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm mostly confident but I have my insecurities the same as anyone else

If a guy messages me and all his pics/veris are from slim women I probably won't meet him and I'd be unsure his intentions for messaging me

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By *echnosonic_BrummieMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

I'm almost too old to give a toss.

I can usually tell from looking in her eyes and seeing if that twinkle is there (or not) as to whether this is just going to be a polite drink together or something else.

I find it helps to not have any expectations when meeting the other person for the first time. Profile pictures, text and veri's rarely provide a full picture of the other person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As you get older it gets harder to stay in shape , some people are obsessed with their image, that's why a mental connection is so important , looks and physic go but a mental connection is forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views.... "

I love guys like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Huge insecurities over my body.

I've learnt that I'm not going to be for everyone but I will be for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have insecurities about our bodies, I am very firmly in that camp.

Fab photos don’t help as we pick the most flattering photos, from the best angles. I am as guilty as the next man, most of my photos are post workout photos where the muscles are pumped and I am looking good (in my opinion). In reality I am a middle aged man fighting to maintain some semblance of fitness/body condition.

There is always going to be someone younger, better looking, fitter than us - as long as you are comfortable with your body then that is really all that matters.

I will never be everyone’s cup of tea, but I might be someone’s shot of whisky.

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.

So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles

No way I just read this from cammo

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.

So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles

No way I just read this from cammo

It's lovely isn't it?

Cammo, I hope you reread this and truly believe it.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"We all have insecurities about our bodies"
.

We don't, we're quite happy with what we've got. We'll happily play with people more toned than us, or more curvy than us

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By *as2cheatMan
over a year ago

harrow

"Everywhere I look on Fab I am seeing toned men. Think I might be starting to get a complex,....

Julia doesn't like muscles on a guy so I guess I'm lucky that I found her.

I don't know exactly what I am trying to say here, I guess it's just letting an insecurity off my chest.

Does anyone else go through anything similar, or have anything to say on the subject?

I would be interested to hear your views.... "

I feel you if it’s a couple with a guy who looks like he should be on men’s health cover I think why would they want me so I don’t message .

I’ve a dad bod I have to learn to be happy in that

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Dad bods seem quite popular..thank goodness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put weight on during lockdown (guess a lot of us did) but I guess that’s also just age. Took me quite some time to accept a curvier me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're part of a couple, which is already proof that you're nailing it.

So don't worry. Besides, I know plenty of women who prefer having a bit more to cuddle into than muscles

Proud of you

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

As a teenager I had negative comments from people about my tall, slim build. Even female relatives joined in on the act. I never bit back and let nature take it's course. No negative comments now!

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By *beeMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I did tone up during lockdown and thought i looked decent, there's never been a six pack mind!

Then I got an injury couldn't run anymore so socialising became drinking and eating instead. Lost the body I had/ wanted and it's such a struggle to get it back. If only I could give up the beer!

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I've never carried any weight and always been in and around 12 stone all my life but wouldn't take my shirt off in public or on a beach and hated going to the swimming pool or gym.

It's only been in the last 7 or 8 years that I've had any sort of body confidence.

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