FabSwingers.com forum: Penis Beaker

By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Yes, that's exactly what i meant to write. A friend linked me to a thread on mumsnet, and it has had me in hysterics all morning.

(dunno if i can link to it here, as i don't want another timeout for URL naughties)

Anyway, the OP of said thread explained that her and her OH have "a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for him to dunk his cock in while she is in the bathroom"

She fails to understand why this is strange. so to open it up to the forum....do any of you have weird post coital clean up practices as well?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes, that's exactly what i meant to write. A friend linked me to a thread on mumsnet, and it has had me in hysterics all morning.

(dunno if i can link to it here, as i don't want another timeout for URL naughties)

She fails to understand why this is strange. so to open it up to the forum....do any of you have weird post coital clean up practices as well?

I read that this morning too. Some of the comments were really funny

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I suppose, what with more people having Venetian blinds instead of curtains, it kinda makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought that was what the curtains where for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

The comment that made me spit out my juice

"You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The comment that made me spit out my juice

You've just had sex so I assume you are on fairly intimate terms. Even if you have an acid fanjo and his sperm is nine tenths itching powder, surely you can use the bathroom at the same time? You can wash your fanjo in the bath and he can scrub his cock in the sink."

lol fanjo !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was having weird visions of Beaker from the Muppets

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

Remember not to flush them away.

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I was having weird visions of Beaker from the Muppets

That wouldn't be a kids show anymore, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was having weird visions of Beaker from the Muppets

That wouldn't be a kids show anymore, lol"

Need to go and find some ginger fluff ....

A couple of googly eyes ...

And that's my Halloween avatar sorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

Huggies Cucumber ones are good for taking make up off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhhh and who said romance was dead. Oh let's hope he doesn't confuse his 'penis beaker' for his 2am sip of water.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

Huggies Cucumber ones are good for taking make up off

don't they make you feel hungry??

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm a man's man.... I wipe it on their chin

I dont... i use the curtains

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wet wipes for a quick freshen up

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Not tonight dear, I forgot to fill the water glass"

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Who is thinking of buying one for a Christmas pressie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

Huggies Cucumber ones are good for taking make up off

don't they make you feel hungry??

they're just nice and cool for when you get hot

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

pmsl - ill and in need of a laugh, nice one

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"Ha ha that's so funny ! And baby wipes are fantastic for everything lol

non perfumed ones for me

Wouldn't want a flowery smelling fanjo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhhh and who said romance was dead. Oh let's hope he doesn't confuse his 'penis beaker' for his 2am sip of water."

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Nowt so queer as folk. I wonder how they managed to become parents with all the immediate cleaning up?

I have never heard of nor seen a penis beaker before. (I thought it was a typo and I was going to find that they can be broken.)

I do give men a tender wipe down with a dry tissue and then a wet wipe after the condom removal. If they have made of mess of me then I expect them to get the tissues. Is that a strange practice?

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

All i can think about now is a tender wipe down, hahaha

*i'll be here all week*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all for tender wipedowns, but with a dry tissue? Baby wipes straight away.

Latest post:

"I have a variety of beakers next to my bed.

Lime green for penises,

Avocado green for nipples,

Forrest green for water,

Bottle green for nasal discharge,

And emerald green for toenail clippings and scrapings.

Then of course there's my arse bucket...""

How do you find the right one in the dark.

The dry tissue is for spillage clearance, all done gently, and then wet for clean up and cool down purposes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The dry tissue is for spillage clearance, all done gently, and then wet for clean up and cool down purposes.

But dry tissue would tear easily, and then you'd have to use tweezers to pick off all the fluffy bits.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"The dry tissue is for spillage clearance, all done gently, and then wet for clean up and cool down purposes.

But dry tissue would tear easily, and then you'd have to use tweezers to pick off all the fluffy bits.

Not the way I do it.

I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

Nothing beats some decent market research

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

Nothing beats some decent market research

Find me a decent market and I'll do the research.

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

Nothing beats some decent market research

Find me a decent market and I'll do the research."

I'm sure we could find some willing lab rats...i mean...participants

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

Nothing beats some decent market research

Find me a decent market and I'll do the research.

I'm sure we could find some willing lab rats...i mean...participants

At the same time they can answer the questions of whether my quim is neat or untidy and good or bad for its age.

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By *lackshadow7 OP Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I'll have to carry out a survey now and find out what my friends prefer.

Nothing beats some decent market research

Find me a decent market and I'll do the research.

I'm sure we could find some willing lab rats...i mean...participants

At the same time they can answer the questions of whether my quim is neat or untidy and good or bad for its age.

Oh my....lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At the same time they can answer the questions of whether my quim is neat or untidy and good or bad for its age.

And it depends on the guinea pigs' answers whether or not the tweezers come out, no doubt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can buy penis beakers on ebay

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"You can buy penis beakers on ebay

Will this be the new measuring tool? We can see length and girth on how men fill their beaker.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can buy penis beakers on ebay

Will this be the new measuring tool? We can see length and girth on how men fill their beaker."

They don't look very big but an ideal tool for those bored of using a sky remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can buy penis beakers on ebay

Dodgy, that. No returns accepted.

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

Thanks for sharing i now need to dry my chair is so funny

Did you get to the bit where they are discussing popping candy and Oral?

My favourite quote.." "

Considering the end of the event, sticky and bogging is pretty much what you've got to look forward to any way.

You may as well enjoy some sweets while you're at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm all for tender wipedowns, but with a dry tissue? Baby wipes straight away.