FabSwingers.com forum: Marriage "Long Term Relationships".

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it me or don't those things mean anything anymore? Because you get a lot of the following:

1. Open Relationships. Surely the whole point of if being long term is because you only want to be with them

2. Long Term Relationships, which leads to marriage. Normally ends up in break up within a year or two. Same goes for boyfriend/girlfriend too. They say they love each other and after that "spark" or honeymoon period has gone. They end things and move onto someone else within a few months. Does that mean one of the parties or even both are too lazy to work through it or maybe naive as they expect that earlier period to last for life?

3. Do you believe that when your married. You should leave the life you had beforehand permanently (some people call it growing up) or is it just the matter of getting your priorities right in terms of finances and spending the right amount of time with loved ones? For example if you were married and trusted your partner. Would you let them go away for the day/week with their friends somewhere?

Would like to know people's thoughts on this and as you can tell I am bored, lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly know one thing I've bought a and lost 2 houses

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

There are as many marriages that work and last the distance as there are that end in break ups.

Tbh - it's a bit of a pointless argument since it's dependant on the individuals concerned.

Nobody ever gets married expecting to split up - I know I certainly didn't.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Marriage/long term relationship isn't one size fits all. Different things work for different couples

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

We been a cpl for 34 years married 31love each other to bits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are as many marriages that work and last the distance as there are that end in break ups.

Tbh - it's a bit of a pointless argument since it's dependant on the individuals concerned.

Nobody ever gets married expecting to split up - I know I certainly didn't.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Not all long term relationships lead to marriage. We have been together since our school days (over 20 years) and have no intention of getting married!

Different things work for different people.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"There are as many marriages that work and last the distance as there are that end in break ups.

Tbh - it's a bit of a pointless argument since it's dependant on the individuals concerned.

Nobody ever gets married expecting to split up - I know I certainly didn't.

Not all marriages which last the distance actually work. Sometimes it's easier just to stay together, even when it's not working.

As for not expecting to split. If nobody expected to split, there'd be no pre-nups being signed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are as many marriages that work and last the distance as there are that end in break ups.

Tbh - it's a bit of a pointless argument since it's dependant on the individuals concerned.

Nobody ever gets married expecting to split up - I know I certainly didn't.

Not all marriages which last the distance actually work. Sometimes it's easier just to stay together, even when it's not working.

As for not expecting to split. If nobody expected to split, there'd be no pre-nups being signed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been married, my relationship was fine before then, I think that bit of paper is a curse as have seen it happen to other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont see whats wrong with an open rekationship. I certainly dont see why it would mean a ciuple love each other less.

all couples do things their way. Some share finances and some dont. If it works for them then great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worked pretty well for me for nearly 20 years. Most of our friends have been married for years too - only a couple have split up.

As for do I let her go away with her friends! I think the point is that it's not a question of 'letting her'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I basically mean 10 years ago. People met their partner and are still with them today. Whether they are married or not, but now everyone seems to be in a relationship 2 minutes before moving on. Maybe they don't know what love is or think its all magical? I am seeing a lot of this and I never see people say I have been with this for for 5 years. Maybe its the area I live in

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

We've been together 30 years,and we're still having a ball.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I basically mean 10 years ago. People met their partner and are still with them today. Whether they are married or not, but now everyone seems to be in a relationship 2 minutes before moving on. Maybe they don't know what love is or think its all magical? I am seeing a lot of this and I never see people say I have been with this for for 5 years. Maybe its the area I live in

I grew up surrounded by divorce. There were the same debates then about marriage going out of fashion etc. etc.

Then one day all of a sudden you look round and you're surrounded by married people!

Lots of the people I know in their early twenties are in long term relationships.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I grew up surrounded by divorce. There were the same debates then about marriage going out of fashion etc. etc.

Then one day all of a sudden you look round and you're surrounded by married people!

Lots of the people I know in their early twenties are in long term relationships."

I know all about marriage going out of fashion, but splitting up with someone every 2 minutes is beyond me. Don't people know what love is anymore? Do people live in the real world and not a dream world as every couple who have been with each other 30, 40 years have had arguments, but it seems as soon as there's a disagreement. People split up after one or two of them.

All the people I know who are married are 40 plus and have been with their partners for years. It seems if 30 or under. There's no such thing as a long term relationship as they don't last that long.

People my age claim they were in a long term relationship and they split within a few months. That's not long term in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Worked pretty well for me for nearly 20 years. Most of our friends have been married for years too - only a couple have split up.

As for do I let her go away with her friends! I think the point is that it's not a question of 'letting her'."

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

do have to admit is does tickle me when ppl put just out of a long term relationship and it turns out they have been together 4 months if that's long term then what is short term a fuck up an ally way maybe. we have been together since school mind still love each other very much and still plan our lives like we are still teenagers. yes there has been things that's changed along the way and there has been ups and downs but then isn't that just part of life married or not xxxxxxxxxxx

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

We still married.. just had 40th anniversary.. didnt celebrate it but hey... we stuck it out so far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"do have to admit is does tickle me when ppl put just out of a long term relationship and it turns out they have been together 4 months if that's long term then what is short term a fuck up an ally way maybe. we have been together since school mind still love each other very much and still plan our lives like we are still teenagers. yes there has been things that's changed along the way and there has been ups and downs but then isn't that just part of life married or not xxxxxxxxxxx"

Not just married life, but all long term relationships too. What got you through the downs and through the "boring" bits and even when the spark went? Our generation need to learn that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We still married.. just had 40th anniversary.. didnt celebrate it but hey... we stuck it out so far."

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By *hocksandmissusCouple
over a year ago

Chester-ish

Not just married life, but all long term relationships too. What got you through the downs and through the "boring" bits and even when the spark went? Our generation need to learn that. "

we have never lost the spark so to speak have always managed to find new things to excite us as we have gone on we have grown together explored together and found so many new things out there that 20 years ago we would never have even dreamt of so not really that many boring bits either although it can be very hard not to let thing become mundane and the samey with a bit of work and a willingness to take risks life can be as much fun 20+ years on as it was back then. xxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people dont seem interested in working through problems anymore.

once the honeymoon period is over

the sex dries up a little from the every day to every week

the arguements start

and kids come

no one seems interested in conversing, sorting things

living happily or even comprimising and living you relationship with someone else in mind.

there is always someone else coming along

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

You plod on regardless basically.. ! no real answer..

People used to marry for life now they marry until something better comes along the ethics to life are very different nowadays.

We were absolutely faithful for 30 years then we hit a wall. It happens.

guess in the end we love each other.. life is just veeeeeeeerryy boring .

Neither of us are prepared to change or compromise and accommodate the other any more.

Financially its not practical to start again as pensioners we just have to live with it..

Unless some handsome fit rich well spoken younger man comes along and sweeps me off my feet. In which case I will dump everything and run..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"people dont seem interested in working through problems anymore.

once the honeymoon period is over

the sex dries up a little from the every day to every week

the arguements start

and kids come

no one seems interested in conversing, sorting things

living happily or even comprimising and living you relationship with someone else in mind.

there is always someone else coming along"

This is what I mean, but don't know why that is. Is it something that is taught to the child at a young age

. It looks like a lot of the modern day generation is like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that now it's more socially acceptable to be single, more people are doing so.

I certainly don't plan to ever get into a relationship short or long term, but if I did it would be an open one..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people dont seem interested in working through problems anymore.

once the honeymoon period is over

the sex dries up a little from the every day to every week

the arguements start

and kids come

no one seems interested in conversing, sorting things

living happily or even comprimising and living you relationship with someone else in mind.

there is always someone else coming along

This is what I mean, but don't know why that is. Is it something that is taught to the child at a young age

. It looks like a lot of the modern day generation is like this

divorce

single parents

teenaged parents

doesnt have the stigma it once did.

i have been regaled time and again of relatives of V having been sent to the UK to live for a while, then they come back some months later, and the parents have adopted a strange baby.

there is no worries about getting divorced, and its no longer looked upon to put up with shit because 'you made your bed, blah blah'

for better or worse seems to relate to phone contracts now, more than relationships lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm shit at relationships, i've spend more time single than with someone, at the first sign of hassle I leg it, I just want a easy, quiet life and you tend not to get that when you with someone

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

You say people claim to be in long term relationships then split up after 4 months - but they're hardly going to say 'We're having a short term relationship, 6 months and I'm out' are they?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you can class someone whos been together less than 4 months as being in a long term relationship, that's hardly started

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Oh I agree but perhaps they had plans to be together for the long haul, talked about moving in together and buying a pet cactus. Then one morning Mr LTR walks into the bathroom to find Ms LTR shaving her armpits with his razor and that tips him over the edge and it's all over before.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Oh I agree but perhaps they had plans to be together for the long haul, talked about moving in together and buying a pet cactus. Then one morning Mr LTR walks into the bathroom to find Ms LTR shaving her armpits with his razor and that tips him over the edge and it's all over before."

Oh err unfinished sentence errm before before someone help me out here

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"I certainly know one thing I've bought a and lost 2 houses

It doesn't just happen to men....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I certainly know one thing I've bought a and lost 2 houses

It doesn't just happen to men...."

no it does not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh err unfinished sentence errm before before someone help me out here"

before its even begun? lol

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Oh err unfinished sentence errm before before someone help me out here

before its even begun? lol"

That'll do

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By *ex4unowCouple
over a year ago

near you

My brother didn't marry been with partner 28 years will both get seperate pensions we have been maried 25 years only one pension less money when we retire but there probably won't be any money left in the pension pot when were 90 xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who cares if the parties involved are happy with whatever arrangements they have in place???!!!

Like many things in life, relationship matters are seldom black and white.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I have no intention of getting married, mainly because I really do believe it's just a piece of paper. Plus, I am not really good at relationships anyway and just prefer being on my own.

But saying that, how are people supposed to find 'the one' without trying out someone to see if they fit? Maybe they're the ones the OP is referring to as 'splitting up every 2 minutes'.

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

We have been married 38 yrs and together 40, we are definitely soul mates. We also have open marriage.

Steve

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