FabSwingers.com forum: going Dutch.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As there was a post the other day talking about the cost of swinging .

I was just wondering if I was playing regular with a couple i'd go Dutch on the cost of a hotel room as a single guy with them .

As I guy with a female friend i'd pay for our hotel room if it was just us or another female meeting up.

But with all other types of meets i'd expect a to be going Dutch with the other guy.

After all if you go out as couples you buy them a drink they buy you a drink your split the cost of the meal .if I was to go out with a couple i'd expect to buy them a drink and them to buy me one and yes i'd spit the cost of a meal 50/50 call me old fashion but I don't expect a women to pay her way.

Don't get me wrong if a women offers to pay for something I'll except it out of respect but I don't demand or expect it .

Discuss am I old fashion or plan stupid.

P's I'm picky partly because of this outlook on dating and life .

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"As there was a post the other day talking about the cost of swinging .

I was just wondering if I was playing regular with a couple i'd go Dutch on the cost of a hotel room as a single guy with them .

As I guy with a female friend i'd pay for our hotel room if it was just us or another female meeting up.

But with all other types of meets i'd expect a to be going Dutch with the other guy.

Don't get me wrong if a women offers to pay for something I'll except it out of respect but I don't demand or expect it .

Discuss am I old fashion or plan stupid.

P's I'm picky partly because of this outlook on dating and life .

I offer to pay my share because it feels the fair thing to do. It limits how many meets I can arrange but that makes me focus on who I actually want to meet.

I'd certainly appreciate a man paying for dinner or a room but I don't expect it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One reason I won't do hotels meals etc is because I can't afford to pay half and wouldn't want the man to pay fully when out with fb I like to take turns buying drinks when I can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

with a couple it would be dutch, single Lady, just depends on her, if she felt she need to pay half thats fine by me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like to pay my fair share but when it comes to a lover I like to feel masculine part of that is paying for the night out.

When a women offers to pay who is my regular friend I find that to be in my mind her way of saying I appreciate you and our time together as my friend so I except it as it adds to the feeling of warmth and friendship with in the relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always offer or tell them I'm short this week so can't do it, usually get told to shut up and not be silly

I think they appreciate the fact I offer though and I can give back in other ways. Was seeing a guy who wouldn't even let me pay for a drink and would get offended if I kept offering so I used to make him cakes to take to work

something small but it was a way that I could return his kindness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am sorry OP but that is a really old fashioned attitude and quite frankly very sexist!

You know it is not the 1940s anymore! Women work, we are independent and we can pay our own way.

I always pay my half in hotel meets (unless the guy really insists and doesn't let me, has only happened once)and if a guy buys me a drink I will get his next round.

I really don't like this macho attitude disguised as manners.

Did it ever occur to you that possibly the woman you are meeting makes more money than you and so can more easily afford the hotel?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I offer to pay my way with things....I only meet When i can afford to...i never assume that the person will pay for everything When out.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I am sorry OP but that is a really old fashioned attitude and quite frankly very sexist!

You know it is not the 1940s anymore! Women work, we are independent and we can pay our own way.

I always pay my half in hotel meets (unless the guy really insists and doesn't let me, has only happened once)and if a guy buys me a drink I will get his next round.

I really don't like this macho attitude disguised as manners.

Did it ever occur to you that possibly the woman you are meeting makes more money than you and so can more easily afford the hotel?"

Wow that's a bit of a rough response to someone, with entirely good intentions, showing respect and consideration.

When I was younger - quite a bit younger - I had a real issue with any such gesture. If a guy opened a door for me I'd inform him I had arms and could open doors for myself thanks. Once coming out of an event at olympia with a gentleman friend who had accompanied me we found it was raining. He paused under shelter to open an umbrella to shield me. I strode ahead telling him it was just rain and I wouldn't dissolve. He had to chase after me.

Then I realised how rude I was being in response to gestures of consideration. None of the men believed I was unable to open a door myself but saw it as something they could do for me to show regard. It was thoughtful and I was being a bitch.

Now I smile and say thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry OP but that is a really old fashioned attitude and quite frankly very sexist!

You know it is not the 1940s anymore! Women work, we are independent and we can pay our own way.

I always pay my half in hotel meets (unless the guy really insists and doesn't let me, has only happened once)and if a guy buys me a drink I will get his next round.

I really don't like this macho attitude disguised as manners.

Did it ever occur to you that possibly the woman you are meeting makes more money than you and so can more easily afford the hotel?

Wow that's a bit of a rough response to someone, with entirely good intentions, showing respect and consideration.

Now I smile and say thank you."

One thing is being polite and another quite different is assuming that a woman must be financially dependent on a man. When the OP meets with couples he expects the other bloke to pay half because he assumes he is the "breadwinner". That is my eyes is a sexist attitude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am sorry OP but that is a really old fashioned attitude and quite frankly very sexist!

You know it is not the 1940s anymore! Women work, we are independent and we can pay our own way.

I always pay my half in hotel meets (unless the guy really insists and doesn't let me, has only happened once)and if a guy buys me a drink I will get his next round.

I really don't like this macho attitude disguised as manners.

Did it ever occur to you that possibly the woman you are meeting makes more money than you and so can more easily afford the hotel?"

I can see why some women in this case would see it in that light.

But sadly this is a product of my up bring I was raised to give up my seat for a elderly or pregnant person on a bus to hold doors open for others to pass through first .

Its not done out of any other reason than showing respect to a fellow human being .

I was raised to believe its a manly thing to do to look out for others first above your own needs .

With women I do it for the same reason respect that's why if a women offered to pay I'll except it out of respect for her wishes on the subject.

But clearly you and I would never get on purely because i'd be acting in the only way I can because of up bringing which I have no doubt would annoy the living hell out of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to pay my own way, and that usually means paying for the hotel room as I do not accommodate.

This way I do not feel I owe anything to the gent.

If I cannot afford to pay my own way, I don't arrange to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet in a social tupe environment. ?.cafe, pub, garden centre etc, then I'm happy to use mine, good all around I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I prefer to pay my own way, and that usually means paying for the hotel room as I do not accommodate.

This way I do not feel I owe anything to the gent.

If I cannot afford to pay my own way, I don't arrange to meet.

Completely agree. If I felt like I'd been bought it would change the whole tone of the meet for me, as I'd be thinking I owed them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I asked a girl if she wanted to go Dutch on a meet once - she said yes and bought me an Advocaat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i always meet men at my house so money doesnt come into it but i did meet a man at a pub who bought me a meal and some flowers, so i payed for the drinks.

i wouldnt pay for a hotel room, i would expect him to pay, or would prefer to have sex in his car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the male to pay for everything is definitely outdated,not so sure about sexist that's open to debate. If a female expects the male to pay for literally everything,that's slightly dodgy ground in my opinion.

I've no time for people who won't pay their way in life,that's in general not just the swinging scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even meeting at home - which is something we do quite a lot - guys are paying for fuel to get to us. So we try at least to get drinks in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As there was a post the other day talking about the cost of swinging .

I was just wondering if I was playing regular with a couple i'd go Dutch on the cost of a hotel room as a single guy with them .

As I guy with a female friend i'd pay for our hotel room if it was just us or another female meeting up.

But with all other types of meets i'd expect a to be going Dutch with the other guy.

Don't get me wrong if a women offers to pay for something I'll except it out of respect but I don't demand or expect it .

Discuss am I old fashion or plan stupid.

P's I'm picky partly because of this outlook on dating and life .

I met a man who wouldn't even let me buy him a drink. After the meeting he was little annoyed about something trivial then said " look! I bought you a meal and drinks and paid for the room! " I tried to pay but he wouldn't let me so now I prefer not to eat or drink with a man first unless I can pay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even meeting at home - which is something we do quite a lot - guys are paying for fuel to get to us. So we try at least to get drinks in. "

I've got a full tank.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I asked a girl if she wanted to go Dutch on a meet once - she said yes and bought me an Advocaat."

With a cherry on top?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like to pay my fair share but when it comes to a lover I like to feel masculine part of that is paying for the night out.

If you were my lover every penny you spent would be repaid in kind when we got home. Or I would insist we stay home in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old dad always said.if a guy asks you out....he pays.

Ive always done the "dutch" thing within swinging as it can be quite expensive ,especially when getting a hotel etc.

Now..........well i dont do it very often ...dont do anything very often. lmao

so i reckon next time, im gonna want to have a treat ......so he pays

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I prefer to pay my own way, and that usually means paying for the hotel room as I do not accommodate.

This way I do not feel I owe anything to the gent.

If I cannot afford to pay my own way, I don't arrange to meet.

Because I choose to pay doesn't mean I think the women owes me any think at all.

Its my choice after all and really has nothing to do with her as i'd do the same with any women .

Its about how as individuals we choose to behave towards each other I'm naturally more comfortable behaving as I described which would not make me the right guy for every women which is OK because at the end of the day not every women is the right match for me ether

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgot to mention that the gents I meet usually travel quite a distance to meet me.

Don't care won't care what others think or do, that's how I operate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My old dad always said.if a guy asks you out....he pays.

Ive always done the "dutch" thing within swinging as it can be quite expensive ,especially when getting a hotel etc.

Now..........well i dont do it very often ...dont do anything very often. lmao

so i reckon next time, im gonna want to have a treat ......so he pays

Your dad was right in my eyes things obviously change when your going steady but first date should always be the guys treat

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"My old dad always said.if a guy asks you out....he pays.

Ive always done the "dutch" thing within swinging as it can be quite expensive ,especially when getting a hotel etc.

Now..........well i dont do it very often ...dont do anything very often. lmao

so i reckon next time, im gonna want to have a treat ......so he pays

Your dad was right in my eyes things obviously change when your going steady but first date should always be the guys treat

"
i so agree with your old dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep the chivalry up OP too many guys on here think us single girls are masterbating machines for f...k-n-go. Agree with previous posts if I'm offered a meal out with one of my friends and I'm poor that week would say so but return the favour when I'm more flush.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Keep the chivalry up OP too many guys on here think us single girls are masterbating machines for f...k-n-go. Agree with previous posts if I'm offered a meal out with one of my friends and I'm poor that week would say so but return the favour when I'm more flush. "

Thank you for the kind words ...I'm just being imperfect me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I met a guy and he offered to pay for everything I would still offer half, if he refused to take it I wouldn't offer again, i have no problem paying my way and always offer but i'm not going to put tension on a meet by arguing with a guy who wants to pay, i offer once they either take it or they don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if I met a guy and he offered to pay for everything I would still offer half, if he refused to take it I wouldn't offer again, i have no problem paying my way and always offer but i'm not going to put tension on a meet by arguing with a guy who wants to pay, i offer once they either take it or they don't "

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I asked a girl if she wanted to go Dutch on a meet once - she said yes and bought me an Advocaat."

That happened to me. I felt a right Dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots do that but its a false offer as they really don't expect you to accept that is why they do. In reality there are a lot of women who would be well pissed off if the guy accepted the first offer is generally seen as a token offer it is fun at times to accept for the fun of it and see what the reaction is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im quite prepared if they do accept...i keep a bag of 1p,s and 2p,s ....i would just hand it over

then sit back and watch their reaction

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im quite prepared if they do accept...i keep a bag of 1p,s and 2p,s ....i would just hand it over

then sit back and watch their reaction

My reaction would be the poor waiter that's his tip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had a meet with a guy in a hotel then I would offer to pay half

However when I was previously on here with my ex we had a threesome at a hotel and paid because we stayed in the hotel overnight. We would never have expected anything towards it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wouldn't be pissed off, i have had a few meets where i have paid for the whole bill, i have a few times where if i have met a guy and he has paid if we arrange to meet again i will just book the hotel without even asking as i feel that's only fair, i used to meet a guy who was unemployed i met him several times and i paid for the hotel every time as he couldn't afford to go half's, i have no problem paying halfs but i wont argue with a guy who says no, if we met again i would just book the hotel and pay to even it up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I must admit I'm very impressed with the way this post turn out before I pushed the post button I though maybe i'd be crucified for a old old date attitude but instead I am relieved to find out that women and guys on the whole view the whole thing as just the right thing to do if that's what your comfortable with.

As for the women who said they ha no problems in going half your diamonds everyone of you as I can assure you lots of people in this day and age avoid paying there fair share when ever they can and that goes for both sexes male or female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love this! I always offer, and its not an empty offer.

To me if a man does the same job as me I expect tp are paid the same, if someone - male or female opens a door for me I will always say thank you.

manners, old fashioned or not, cost nothing x

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By *denlouWoman
over a year ago

bideford

"I love this! I always offer, and its not an empty offer.

To me if a man does the same job as me I expect tp are paid the same, if someone - male or female opens a door for me I will always say thank you.

manners, old fashioned or not, cost nothing x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the women that will go Dutch.

I'll get the food and drinks in, the rest of the night's on her.

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"I am sorry OP but that is a really old fashioned attitude and quite frankly very sexist!

You know it is not the 1940s anymore! Women work, we are independent and we can pay our own way.

I always pay my half in hotel meets (unless the guy really insists and doesn't let me, has only happened once)and if a guy buys me a drink I will get his next round.

I really don't like this macho attitude disguised as manners.

Did it ever occur to you that possibly the woman you are meeting makes more money than you and so can more easily afford the hotel?"

Bravo!

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