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Being authentic?

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Someone used this word and I think it';s great, it' certainly what I seek, and seek to be. Been thinking about it and found this great quote:

"Think of a person you respect for his or her honesty, for his or her openness, for his or her integrity. You know a few people like this, right? Well pick one, and think about him or her for a moment.

This person feels real to you. Genuine. Authentic. It’s refreshing to be around this person, to get to know this person, to interact with this person. We feel safe around authentic people, as if we could reveal to them our deepest darkest secrets, as if we could trust them with anything.

And when we get to know these people on a deeper level—when we establish a connection with them—it’s refreshing to find out that they are who we thought they were all along, that beneath the surface they are authentic."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It'd be interesting to meet a bird enthusiast who specialised in dental treatments and was indeed who they claimed to be, because then they'd be an authentic ornithologist orthodontist.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"It'd be interesting to meet a bird enthusiast who specialised in dental treatments and was indeed who they claimed to be, because then they'd be an authentic ornithologist orthodontist."

I used to be an orthinologist but now I'm just a word-botcher.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone used this word and I think it';s great, it' certainly what I seek, and seek to be. Been thinking about it and found this great quote:

"Think of a person you respect for his or her honesty, for his or her openness, for his or her integrity. You know a few people like this, right? Well pick one, and think about him or her for a moment.

This person feels real to you. Genuine. Authentic. It’s refreshing to be around this person, to get to know this person, to interact with this person. We feel safe around authentic people, as if we could reveal to them our deepest darkest secrets, as if we could trust them with anything.

And when we get to know these people on a deeper level—when we establish a connection with them—it’s refreshing to find out that they are who we thought they were all along, that beneath the surface they are authentic.""

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person. Recent socials have further reinforced my belief that by applying simple common sense, good judgement and a healthy dose of realism - you can quite quickly identify those you're interested in spending time with - be that for fun or just banter - and those that are doing a very bad job of putting themselves across as something they most definitely are not.

I've come a cropper a couple of times - but that's bound to happen. But the joy of getting to know people in a social environment is that you soon establish whether they're online and real personas differ!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have come to realise that I change to fit in with the personality of the man I'm with. If he is calm, peaceful and laid back I react the same. If he's lively and cracking jokes I do the same. I don't know who I am any more except a man pleaser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the word perfect when I'm prowling antique emporiums. Or shopping off the back of a lorry

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Like I posted privately to someone for me it's a question of how you balance being authentic with treating others decently. I want to be authentic and I won't bend over backwards for strangers but I also want to be decent so how does one find the perfect combination? God we are philosophical today, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like I posted privately to someone for me it's a question of how you balance being authentic with treating others decently. I want to be authentic and I won't bend over backwards for strangers but I also want to be decent so how does one find the perfect combination? God we are philosophical today, eh?"

Why should there be a conflict between being authentic and decent? I'm curious?

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Why should there be a conflict between being authentic and decent? I'm curious? "

I don't see the conflict either? Unless you're really a meanie?? lol!

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person. "

I think I am a pretty good judge of character in person, but it is a lot harder over the net.

Actually, forums are a good place to see the reality of someone - lots of unguarded comments without an agenda gradually build up a good picture of who they are I reckon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person.

I think I am a pretty good judge of character in person, but it is a lot harder over the net.

Actually, forums are a good place to see the reality of someone - lots of unguarded comments without an agenda gradually build up a good picture of who they are I reckon."

Yep - and if you come across someone new you're intrigued about - that little green arrow is a godsend!

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

Pardon the clumsy post everyone it just pertained to the topic of my thread lol

Apologies

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Consistency in certain settings and authenticity, using your quote definition, aren't the same. Trust your gut if it's picking up anything your brain isn't. We take in more than we recognise.

I have enjoyed going to the last two socials as it has helped confirm what my gut was feeling about some people. Good and bad.

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person.

I think I am a pretty good judge of character in person, but it is a lot harder over the net.

Actually, forums are a good place to see the reality of someone - lots of unguarded comments without an agenda gradually build up a good picture of who they are I reckon.

Yep - and if you come across someone new you're intrigued about - that little green arrow is a godsend! "

OMG =- can you look up all the posts someone has posted to???? Ooops!

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Consistency in certain settings and authenticity, using your quote definition, aren't the same. Trust your gut if it's picking up anything your brain isn't. We take in more than we recognise.

."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am what I am, and if peeps do not like it, it is their problem, not mine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person.

I think I am a pretty good judge of character in person, but it is a lot harder over the net.

Actually, forums are a good place to see the reality of someone - lots of unguarded comments without an agenda gradually build up a good picture of who they are I reckon.

Yep - and if you come across someone new you're intrigued about - that little green arrow is a godsend!

OMG =- can you look up all the posts someone has posted to???? Ooops!"

Well I never!!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'd pretty much like to think that I am what it says on the tin...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes i meet some men on here and feel like i can talk to them, then others may say and do the right things but they are a bit patronising, one or two things they have done i get the feeling i cant really trust them 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Great quote. I've always thought myself a pretty good judge of character - and in the years I've been on here I've got quite good at identifying those I perceive as 'authentic' in the sense of your quote - both initially via virtual interactions, predominantly the forums, and subsequently when I've met them in person.

I think I am a pretty good judge of character in person, but it is a lot harder over the net.

Actually, forums are a good place to see the reality of someone - lots of unguarded comments without an agenda gradually build up a good picture of who they are I reckon.

Yep - and if you come across someone new you're intrigued about - that little green arrow is a godsend! "

Having been on another (less carnally focussed) forum for quite a few years and having met many forumites in RL, I have developed my own Spider Sense.

I cannot boast it's entirely foolproof, but it has worked enough for me to rely on it.

As for the Green Arrow - d'oh! *sound of penny finally dropping*

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By *risky_Mare OP   Woman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Pardon the clumsy post everyone it just pertained to the topic of my thread lol

Apologies"

No apology required - I see where you are coming from now. I would say you are confusing being nice with being honest when you are feeling, shall we say negative or critical about someone/something?

You don't have to be sycophantic to be authentic. If I disagree with you, I can still say 'I respectfully disagree', or even 'no, I think that was wrong' without being mean and spiteful about it.

Authenticity to me is more about who I portray MYSELF as anyway, being honest and open about that. I don't suffer fools and I can be sharp, and I don't try and hide that, though I would hope I can do so with some wit when I feel I must.

I think what you're talking about is more about being kind to people. I will mostly do my damdest to be kind, but never sycophantic.

And bottom line if one can't be witty or kind, it might be better to keep quiet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people are charming they have the good sense to know how to say all the right things to get what they want and make people like them, i can usually see through them but sometimes choose not too.

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway


"Pardon the clumsy post everyone it just pertained to the topic of my thread lol

Apologies

No apology required - I see where you are coming from now. I would say you are confusing being nice with being honest when you are feeling, shall we say negative or critical about someone/something?

You don't have to be sycophantic to be authentic. If I disagree with you, I can still say 'I respectfully disagree', or even 'no, I think that was wrong' without being mean and spiteful about it.

Authenticity to me is more about who I portray MYSELF as anyway, being honest and open about that. I don't suffer fools and I can be sharp, and I don't try and hide that, though I would hope I can do so with some wit when I feel I must.

I think what you're talking about is more about being kind to people. I will mostly do my damdest to be kind, but never sycophantic.

And bottom line if one can't be witty or kind, it might be better to keep quiet!!"

I think you have put it much better than I did

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