FabSwingers.com forum: Losing your Identity !!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As all of you know my daughter is severely disabled !!

Now i can't seem to go anywhere with out being called "J**'S Mum"

It's never hello how are you and hows things it's always, "Hows your daughter/Has there been any change/Whats going to happen later in life?????

It's lovely that everyone knows her and wants to know the answer to these questions.... But what about me I seem to have got lost somewhere along the line........

So i want to say that it's not only getting married where women lose their Identity it's through your Children too!!

Thank heavens for Fabs it is the one place where i can be me and all me !!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

to be fair, I didnt realise who you were until you mentioned your daughter.

I linked this mention to your previous posts about her. You mostly always reference her as your disabled daughter, not your daughter.

It may be something people think you want to be known as.

all without you realising or intending it so.

no offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as being married to someone in forces always being the WO.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

I also often feel sorry for the siblings of disabled children, they sometimes get a bit lost due to the focus as well. A friend of my Mum's actually set up a charity for such siblings to send them on holidays etc not geared round the needs of their siblings.

I am sure your daughter is a huge focus in your life but I sincerely hope your 'real' self does not become lost as a result.

Master

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I don't think its the fact your daughter is disabled, I went all through callums school years being known as "Callums mum". its what happens when you have school age children

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"to be fair, I didnt realise who you were until you mentioned your daughter.

I linked this mention to your previous posts about her. You mostly always reference her as your disabled daughter, not your daughter.

It may be something people think you want to be known as.

all without you realising or intending it so.

no offence."

I think over the years because it's been thrown at me all the time i tend to give back without thinking.... But i do know where you are coming from!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Every parent gets asked how their children are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep, seeings a most parents only know the child, and not the childs parent, then its a fair bet most will be known by being the offsprings parent.

however, im certain a stranger wouldnt refer to you as suchabodies mum but rather as you want to be titled

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