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Hard on in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have a massive boner this morning and looking for ideas what to do. I know im leaving myself open to you mad lot and you witty comments. Best idea wins and I will try it. And let the lucky winner know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm wank?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hit it with a hammer

Sorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm wank? "

Pmsl, first and obvious choice!

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Try urinating. It's caused by bladder pressure. And will soon naturally alleviate spontaneously.

Don't associate it with horniness. It's natures way of telling you to go to work after having had a piss

I hope this has been of some help.

Now. Get up. Get dressed. And get to work and no more of this onanism talk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try urinating. It's caused by bladder pressure. And will soon naturally alleviate spontaneously.

Don't associate it with horniness. It's natures way of telling you to go to work after having had a piss

I hope this has been of some help.

Now. Get up. Get dressed. And get to work and no more of this onanism talk! "

hahaha yes Piss Proud!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No work for be today. Back to bed and let the wanking commence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx "

nothing, I repeat, nothing can ever replace the incredible feeling of a woman's lips and tongue and anyway my banana will only get mashed on toast and promptly eaten along with a cup of freshly made coffee!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx

nothing, I repeat, nothing can ever replace the incredible feeling of a woman's lips and tongue and anyway my banana will only get mashed on toast and promptly eaten along with a cup of freshly made coffee!"
well I was thinking its different and same things are boring . lol yes can eat it after the banana ..would be very good for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx

nothing, I repeat, nothing can ever replace the incredible feeling of a woman's lips and tongue and anyway my banana will only get mashed on toast and promptly eaten along with a cup of freshly made coffee!well I was thinking its different and same things are boring . lol yes can eat it after the banana ..would be very good for him. "

Now maybe if the lady was holding the banana and then sharing it herself too ... Then we could both eat it. Mmm maybe just toast and butter today!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You ever tried it in front of a man or two that wanted to watch? That's if you have a webcam and Go into cam rooms here let them see ... lol well a lot love being looked at.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

game sounds like she has experience on this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No work for be today. Back to bed and let the wanking commence "

seems like a waste. I am sure there are plenty of people who would like to ride it for you (_O_)

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"No work for be today. Back to bed and let the wanking commence "

Why not take up something more productive...like ... meditation.

It's a lot better than sitting about doing nothing.

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


"

hahaha yes Piss Proud!! "

As recommended by FIFA Mafia Boss and Urologist Sett Bladder no less!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"game sounds like she has experience on this "
well I am having a think how you could sort this hard on out , lol ok heres one ..

If you have a condom or small sandwich bag get some lube (vaseline) and place it on your penis. You can then put a pillow under you bed mattress and slide your penis between the pillow and mattress, just use your pelvis movements to slowly and gently have the bed doggy style. and the good thing is you can cum in the bag or condom. NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby


". NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

"

So long that is if you don't consider a mix of KY Jelly and banana yoghurt all over the sheets much of a mess.

Here's a trick. To disguise this dodgy concoction from discovery...just before your mum comes in to tidy your room (I presume you still life at home)- throw up on the offending stain.

This will serve a double purpose. The stench and resultant regurgitant will distract her attention away from the cum-odour and you will not have to go to college today.

The downside being...you were off anyway.

But you will get more sympathy for having eaten a bad batch of Tummy Bananas!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"game sounds like she has experience on this well I am having a think how you could sort this hard on out , lol ok heres one ..

If you have a condom or small sandwich bag get some lube (vaseline) and place it on your penis. You can then put a pillow under you bed mattress and slide your penis between the pillow and mattress, just use your pelvis movements to slowly and gently have the bed doggy style. and the good thing is you can cum in the bag or condom. NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

"

Begs the question - how do you know about this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


". NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

So long that is if you don't consider a mix of KY Jelly and banana yoghurt all over the sheets much of a mess.

Here's a trick. To disguise this dodgy concoction from discovery...just before your mum comes in to tidy your room (I presume you still life at home)- throw up on the offending stain.

This will serve a double purpose. The stench and resultant regurgitant will distract her attention away from the cum-odour and you will not have to go to college today.

The downside being...you were off anyway.

But you will get more sympathy for having eaten a bad batch of Tummy Bananas!"
lol xxx well if I had a cock I would be thinking of all sorts of ways to cum ........ lol I just have pussy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I might just have a play over games pics very sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"game sounds like she has experience on this well I am having a think how you could sort this hard on out , lol ok heres one ..

If you have a condom or small sandwich bag get some lube (vaseline) and place it on your penis. You can then put a pillow under you bed mattress and slide your penis between the pillow and mattress, just use your pelvis movements to slowly and gently have the bed doggy style. and the good thing is you can cum in the bag or condom. NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

Begs the question - how do you know about this? "
Well I read and maybe you men should too .... I am a woman whos into looking at sex in different way as had once a sub , lol he liked very kinky things .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx "
im just wondering how many will try this out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx im just wondering how many will try this out"
If they do I hope I get feed back , lol see if they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn't do it for me just now ,any other ideas game?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try urinating. It's caused by bladder pressure. "

ermmmm?...

Really? ...

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

you girls with your only got pussies have the advantage of having a wank with no mess . unless you make yourself squirt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx im just wondering how many will try this outIf they do I hope I get feed back , lol see if they like. "
keep me posted...now im thinking what it wld look like ....get half a dozen guys in a line and hand them a banana...wld be a. a squelchy messy moment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Didn't do it for me just now ,any other ideas game?"
I could give you loads ... But some maybe a little different ok bit kinky. I like to make you feel allsorts , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Use a banana. Its Very different and some men love this.

Peel the banana skin quarter way down, break the banana off at the top and insert penis into the remaining banana and start wanking. Damn near as good as a BJ I am told don't have a willy so I can't give it a go . lol xxx im just wondering how many will try this outIf they do I hope I get feed back , lol see if they like. keep me posted...now im thinking what it wld look like ....get half a dozen guys in a line and hand them a banana...wld be a. a squelchy messy moment lol"
yes could have a wank off , lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinky is good!! lets hear some more lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"game sounds like she has experience on this well I am having a think how you could sort this hard on out , lol ok heres one ..

If you have a condom or small sandwich bag get some lube (vaseline) and place it on your penis. You can then put a pillow under you bed mattress and slide your penis between the pillow and mattress, just use your pelvis movements to slowly and gently have the bed doggy style. and the good thing is you can cum in the bag or condom. NO MESS AT ALL . lol not like banana

Begs the question - how do you know about this? Well I read and maybe you men should too .... I am a woman whos into looking at sex in different way as had once a sub , lol he liked very kinky things . "

Very funny reading this early on a Saturday. My thoughts were the obvious pee or wank but the I thought it was a waste of a hard cock!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok warm Apple pie . lol you will never look at pie again after dipping it in there .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know someone who use to warm up a mellon or piece if liver and used that the feed their imagination and helped tgem out.... puts a whole new stance on liver n onions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apple pie mmmmmm with custard even better !!! liver omg no way!!! if I cant eat it no way am I going to jerk in it LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Game please don't suggest lambs brains or tripe next lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Apple pie mmmmmm with custard even better !!! liver omg no way!!! if I cant eat it no way am I going to jerk in it LOL"
or icecream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know someone who use to warm up a mellon or piece if liver and used that the feed their imagination and helped tgem out.... puts a whole new stance on liver n onions"
lol . liver yukk.. must feel weird too ... god I am having a go at making them feel , lol ok how about getting a nice melon, carve out a suitable hole and shagging it ? could feel nice .. I can think or some kinky things ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the Scottish men how about a sack of haggis warmed up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And lets not forget the Scottish lassies they could try deep fried mars bars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And lets not forget the Scottish lassies they could try deep fried mars bars."
us ladies just need no pants under the scot tartan. Be just fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know someone who use to warm up a mellon or piece if liver and used that the feed their imagination and helped tgem out.... puts a whole new stance on liver n onions lol . liver yukk.. must feel weird too ... god I am having a go at making them feel , lol ok how about getting a nice melon, carve out a suitable hole and shagging it ? could feel nice .. I can think or some kinky things .."
dont forget to warm up in the microwave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And lets not forget the Scottish lassies they could try deep fried mars bars.us ladies just need no pants under the scot tartan. Be just fine. "

never wear anything under my kilt. Would be sacrilege to do it! Lol

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