FabSwingers.com forum: Defending your family

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

This is not a thread to comment directly about Ed Miliband as there is one of those already. Go to that if you want to attack or defend him.

If you felt strongly that a family member had been misrepresented after their death would you defend them?

Or, is what is written about them after their death just fair game and a point of _iew on history?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Misrepresented possibly, depends on if anyone cared or how severe.

Lied about, of course.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It no longer matters

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if I felt they were being wronged, yes.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"It no longer matters"

It matters very much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, and I did. My dad was quite prominent within a political group (not a common one) and someone who disliked him vehemently wrote a rather vile obituary. To say my brother and I defended my father with vigour would be an understatement. I recall telling the man in question (who identifies as a journalist) that I wouldn't hesitate from reporting him to the Press Complaints Commission if he carried on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course i would defend a loved ones name after their death. After all, they're not here to do it themselves are they!

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away. "

No response at all can be interpreted as acceptance of that "fact" and that's how it will go down in history.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Yes, and I did. My dad was quite prominent within a political group (not a common one) and someone who disliked him vehemently wrote a rather vile obituary. To say my brother and I defended my father with vigour would be an understatement. I recall telling the man in question (who identifies as a journalist) that I wouldn't hesitate from reporting him to the Press Complaints Commission if he carried on."

Did he cease?

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By *denMan
over a year ago

near Preston

It may not be very nice but having read the article, unlike many who comment, including Cameron, it is opinion. The daily mail IS vile but they should not apologise. Miliband should act maturely and move on, he's had his say anymore and I fear it is he who is abusing his own fathers memory for cheap publicity and underhand political gain. Himself a vile man!

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

The PCC is completely toothless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away. "

This. I don't usually bother trying to change someone's opinion of others or of me.

If they were being bullied (or something similar) I stick up for them, but I don't think that's what the OP meant.

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By *obbygggMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Blimey the high moral ground some people take.I'm just pleased nobody celebrated Thatcher's death or wrote nasty things about her. Oh wait......

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It may not be very nice but having read the article, unlike many who comment, including Cameron, it is opinion. The daily mail IS vile but they should not apologise. Miliband should act maturely and move on, he's had his say anymore and I fear it is he who is abusing his own fathers memory for cheap publicity and underhand political gain. Himself a vile man!"

Thank you. But this thread is aiming to not cover the Miliband story. There's a thread already running on Miliband.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Blimey the high moral ground some people take.I'm just pleased nobody celebrated Thatcher's death or wrote nasty things about her. Oh wait......"

There were defenders for Thatcher. I'm only concerned on this thread about what Fab people would do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away. "

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Blimey the high moral ground some people take.I'm just pleased nobody celebrated Thatcher's death or wrote nasty things about her. Oh wait......"

Celebrating Thatcher's death was about Thatcher - not about her late father.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No i wouldn't.

Virtually all of today's "news" and "media" is just opinion. Temporary and soon gone, not unlike these threads and posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away.

No response at all can be interpreted as acceptance of that "fact" and that's how it will go down in history."

But by responding aren't you dragging it on further? Unless it was a particular vitoral attack and other members of the family were being hurt I would just ignore.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away.

No response at all can be interpreted as acceptance of that "fact" and that's how it will go down in history.

But by responding aren't you dragging it on further? Unless it was a particular vitoral attack and other members of the family were being hurt I would just ignore. "

And when it stops being name calling and becomes sticks and stones?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course i would defend a loved ones name after their death. After all, they're not here to do it themselves are they! "

Well said

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think if you lived in a small town/village and someone wrongly labelled your father, mother, grandparents a paedophile, I bet it would stick to you for generations

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"This is not a thread to comment directly about Ed Miliband as there is one of those already. Go to that if you want to attack or defend him.

If you felt strongly that a family member had been misrepresented after their death would you defend them?

Or, is what is written about them after their death just fair game and a point of _iew on history?

I'm a family & friends person and value loved ones whether alive or dead. If there was something inappropriate said/printed that was a 'spin' on the actual truth i'd defend them all the way.

Just cause someone's gone doesn't mean they're forgotten!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll know the truth so that is all that matters to me. The more fuss you make the longer it will go on. I'd just ignore it and it'll soon go away.

No response at all can be interpreted as acceptance of that "fact" and that's how it will go down in history.

But by responding aren't you dragging it on further? Unless it was a particular vitoral attack and other members of the family were being hurt I would just ignore.

And when it stops being name calling and becomes sticks and stones?"

I'd don my tin hat

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Who Do You Think You Are drags up stories about the blacksheep in the family and I do sometimes wonder if the story would be different if someone had defended that person at the time.

With so much information now held forever somewhere I wonder what will be said after my death? I don't/won't need defending (yet) and it won't affect anyone anyway as I don't have children on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at it as though that were my dad, I'm at peace with the fact that he's passed away. He was a bastard most of his life to our family and cared more about the family of the woman he had a lifelong affair with, and he was a psychological bully that ruined things even on the few occasions he tried to fix things. There were a few redeeming moments at the end of his life, and I think he just wanted to go in peace, which I think is an unspoken rule anyway.

But because he is family and because my name comes from him, I would intelligently defend the family and dig up a few buried hatchets in doing so. I carry that name on and in my eyes, I do it more justice. Nobody can say otherwise.

However, if my mother were ever to be victim of any sort of slander/defamation, what I'd do to defend her is as good as limitless.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I wonder how long it'll be before something a 17 year old has written on Facebook/ Twitter will be used against their children years later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder how long it'll be before something a 17 year old has written on Facebook/ Twitter will be used against their children years later."

Well, years probably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When that starts happening, the riots will be constant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion I am not sure, as I found out a lot about my Grandfather after he passed away. It changed my mind of him totally, he always came acros as a authority figure to me. He had a much gentler side I never knew about.

So for I would want to hear more before jumping in.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"In my opinion I am not sure, as I found out a lot about my Grandfather after he passed away. It changed my mind of him totally, he always came acros as a authority figure to me. He had a much gentler side I never knew about.

So for I would want to hear more before jumping in."

That is the other issue, of course: how well do we know our family?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If you felt strongly that a family member had been misrepresented after their death would you defend them?

Yes.

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