FabSwingers.com forum: help /advice needed.

By *istress-Mazikeen OP Woman
over a year ago

bolton

My son has just walked out on his job, he may be 23 but has autistic tendancies, He does not understand that it is a hard world out there, and by walking out has caused me a lot of problems. How do you get him to understand that he needs to start growing up, and cant just walk away from everything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"My son has just walked out on his job, he may be 23 but has autistic tendancies, He does not understand that it is a hard world out there, and by walking out has caused me a lot of problems. How do you get him to understand that he needs to start growing up, and cant just walk away from everything."

oh, that is so hard - the only thing i can think of off the top of my head is just sit down with him and talk, don't lecture or be hard, just talk and let the conversation progress, see if there are any groups or other people in your area that may be in the same situation that you can talk to. I wish you all the very best, Z xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *istress-Mazikeen OP Woman
over a year ago

bolton

that is the problem, he shuts down when you try and talk to him...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"that is the problem, he shuts down when you try and talk to him..."

i'd try to get him in a non threatening environment - go for a walk or a shopping trip - something that you both like to do - just try to be relaxed - rather than 'sitting him down for a talk' it is so difficult but talk about something else - look at different scenarios or situations that you can have a heart to heart together. Z xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My son walked out of a job a year ago, it was only part time but good money. He is now facing the consequences. Unfortunatly they have to learn the hard way. Hard for a parent to stand by and watch but it is a learning curve.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"that is the problem, he shuts down when you try and talk to him..."

Have you tried writing exercises with him.

It's a great therapeutic way of digesting information, if getting to understand in a verbal way is having no effect, try writing, it's all about getting to understand / take responsibility, things like financial / employment / health just a few range of subjects to be explored, the art is making it fun and not for it to become a chore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

If you want to speak to him, i'd suggest doing it in the car, preferably while you're driving as there's no eye contact and plenty of other things to focus on.

But I think the best thing to do would be to actively support him in finding something else that he will enjoy and with people who will understand 'his ways' speak to him - again in a car - about his interests and what he would like to do. Hopefully if he takes more of an interest in what he is doing then he will enjoy it more and stay longer?

By supporting his decision might help him to speak to you in the future about any problems in a job.

Good luck.

xAx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *zMaleMan
over a year ago

penzance

You say in the opening thread that he has austistic tendencies. By nature of the illness, he will know what he likes and will not deviate from that. He will like a set routine around a situation he likes and will be comfortable with but I'm sure you know this as he is your son. It is hard for anyone to advise you how you can handle this situation as there are different levels of affliction, which then discerns the level of understanding. As you are probably aware.

You don't say what his job was. Your son might have found his job tedious to say the least. Having worked with severely austistic children, I have found that they are so knowledgable in a subject that they find interesting it staggered me. So I would suggest trying to find him a job which stimulates him.

In the meantime, like all of us we need to move on, if the situation doesn't agree with him. You can only guide and advise as a parent, it is up to them at the end of the day whether they accept it in the way it was given.

I'm sorry it was a long winded reply but I think it deserved a long winded response.

Wishing you and your son all the best for the future.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread