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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford

Its not the question you ask, its the way you ask it. Some topics are just plain offensive but don't you find that most times its just the posters attitude that offends?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That and some people set out to offend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it can be the poster or the person reading it. its all in context

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

depends also on whether the first/second/third reply is followed by the pack

also gender of orginal poster.

if they have been here before, changed name and want to continue an agenda.

all just a big melting pot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

Not really, strongly worded controversial posts can be quite healthy. Its the posts that follow that really speak volumes.

To make a cooking analogy, if you dont give the pot a good stir from time to time first time you know somethings wrong is when you find everything is burned and the pot ruined.

Or am just the troll under the bridge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not really, strongly worded controversial posts can be quite healthy. Its the posts that follow that really speak volumes.

To make a cooking analogy, if you dont give the pot a good stir from time to time first time you know somethings wrong is when you find everything is burned and the pot ruined.

Or am just the troll under the bridge?"

I love controversial posts. Discussion is good.

Some people are sheep. Some people love to be offended at every little thing. Some people are adults and can banter in an interesting way.

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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc "

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression "
Many/most people do. I dont, I debate a point and look to score debating points. If in doing this I wind people up and they get upset I know its because they have no answer to my points. If they defeat my argument I change my my position.

It's a very good system, and I would highly recommend it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that yes some people are deliberately provicative and offensive,I also think that that some people react very sensitively and preciously

A lot depends on general forum mood,it depends who the OP is,a well known regular can start a thread the same as an unknown and get hugely different responses,also I think herd mentality can sometimes guide something that was'nt intended to be offensive into the realms of " burn them at the stake"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression "

oops I better watch me p's n q's then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing better than a nice mass debate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/09/13 09:33:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That and some people set out to offend. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there are controversial posts, yes there are people who deliberately set out to offend - great isn't it.

If we didn't have this spark then the forums would become flat and eventually lose their spark. I want to see more feistiness, more controversy. It's an adult site, it's not as if we're kids needing to be protected by the teachers at school. People stop being so sensitive.

I also think OP that you've started a few of these 'why are people so nasty' type of threads and threads like these are popular because people, whilst under the pretence of debating their point, can get little snide digs in about people they don't like. The question could be asked 'why do you keep starting these type of threads' - you know they're going to be popular and evoke emotion - are you a passive aggressive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got burnt at the stake on my first ever post

Comments can be misinterpreted in lots of ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes there are controversial posts, yes there are people who deliberately set out to offend - great isn't it.

If we didn't have this spark then the forums would become flat and eventually lose their spark. I want to see more feistiness, more controversy. It's an adult site, it's not as if we're kids needing to be protected by the teachers at school. People stop being so sensitive.

I also think OP that you've started a few of these 'why are people so nasty' type of threads and threads like these are popular because people, whilst under the pretence of debating their point, can get little snide digs in about people they don't like. The question could be asked 'why do you keep starting these type of threads' - you know they're going to be popular and evoke emotion - are you a passive aggressive "

well said

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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression

oops I better watch me p's n q's then "

see now I would only laugh at whatever you say because that's the way I think of you. Fun and entertaining

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"Its not the question you ask, its the way you ask it. Some topics are just plain offensive but don't you find that most times its just the posters attitude that offends? "

And some people are drama queens who take offence where none is given or intended. They pick and pick at tiny details and accuse others of being insensitive and how upset they are - expecting sympathy from others, some of whom buy into it and so it goes on and on. I find it very tedious and often just leave a thread after that as the only relief from banging your head against a brick wall is to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression "

This ^^ I find myself re-calling offensive or insulting remarks made by persons , perhaps an inbuilt fault of my own , but things tend to resonate with me and I form an opinion that sticks , I still enjoy The peripheral banter though .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Part of the problem is that posts are words on a screen , therefore have no human emotion attached when put across ( face to face you can tell if someone is joking etc )

Therefore it is very very easy to take or read something wrongly or not the way the poster meant to come across.

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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford


"Yes there are controversial posts, yes there are people who deliberately set out to offend - great isn't it.

If we didn't have this spark then the forums would become flat and eventually lose their spark. I want to see more feistiness, more controversy. It's an adult site, it's not as if we're kids needing to be protected by the teachers at school. People stop being so sensitive.

I also think OP that you've started a few of these 'why are people so nasty' type of threads and threads like these are popular because people, whilst under the pretence of debating their point, can get little snide digs in about people they don't like. The question could be asked 'why do you keep starting these type of threads' - you know they're going to be popular and evoke emotion - are you a passive aggressive "

this post was not a "snide dig" it was a genuine question and no I honestly do not believe I am passive aggressive and I am surprised I am seen in that light

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression

oops I better watch me p's n q's then

see now I would only laugh at whatever you say because that's the way I think of you. Fun and entertaining"

Yup. I'm the proverbial village idiot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes there are controversial posts, yes there are people who deliberately set out to offend - great isn't it.

If we didn't have this spark then the forums would become flat and eventually lose their spark. I want to see more feistiness, more controversy. It's an adult site, it's not as if we're kids needing to be protected by the teachers at school. People stop being so sensitive.

I also think OP that you've started a few of these 'why are people so nasty' type of threads and threads like these are popular because people, whilst under the pretence of debating their point, can get little snide digs in about people they don't like. The question could be asked 'why do you keep starting these type of threads' - you know they're going to be popular and evoke emotion - are you a passive aggressive

well said "

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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford

Seems there are plenty of passive agressives here and some not so passive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not the question you ask, its the way you ask it. Some topics are just plain offensive but don't you find that most times its just the posters attitude that offends? "

It's how you react to that perceived attitude. Or in many cases how their friends have already reacted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not really, strongly worded controversial posts can be quite healthy. Its the posts that follow that really speak volumes.

To make a cooking analogy, if you dont give the pot a good stir from time to time first time you know somethings wrong is when you find everything is burned and the pot ruined.

Or am just the troll under the bridge?

I love controversial posts. Discussion is good.

Some people are sheep. Some people love to be offended at every little thing. Some people are adults and can banter in an interesting way. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/09/13 09:59:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"depends also on whether the first/second/third reply is followed by the pack

also gender of orginal poster.

if they have been here before, changed name and want to continue an agenda.

all just a big melting pot."

This is very true. I placed one very reasonable post without attitude re. Something I may occasionally put in messages to girls classing themselves as bi. Perhaps because I'm single bloke I was jumped upon (not in a nice way) and accused of being some heavy shit: selfish, a bigot, etc. Many others jumped on the bandwagon telling me they know more about my OP and what my intention was than I did. It was clearly a case if mindless copycat cyber bullying and it eventually took another woman to come to my rescue. Seriously some of these self righteous, pompous women need to take a look at their attitude re. appointing themselves the police women of all single men postings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not the question you ask, its the way you ask it. Some topics are just plain offensive but don't you find that most times its just the posters attitude that offends?

And some people are drama queens who take offence where none is given or intended. They pick and pick at tiny details and accuse others of being insensitive and how upset they are - expecting sympathy from others, some of whom buy into it and so it goes on and on. I find it very tedious and often just leave a thread after that as the only relief from banging your head against a brick wall is to stop."

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


" and threads like these are popular because people, whilst under the pretence of debating their point, can get little snide digs in about people they don't like. "

yup I have.

very few admit it tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Sereana I didn't think your post was a snide dig. I am referring to other posters who use that thread for their own agenda using the guise of 'debate'. Now that statement was a general one based on what I've seen over a period of 3 years on here.

The reference to you was in the creation of these type of threads ie asking people not to be so nasty. There are people who don't intend any malice, they are simply responding but sometimes a disagreement of opinion can feel like a personal slight. Of course there are those that intend to be nasty. Indeed maybe you feel my comments aimed at you are a little cruel. They are not intended to be, I enjoy these type of posts, ive read many of your other comments on threads, you come across as a warm, friendly lady, I like you. But don't you just really enjoy the passion this kind of thread evokes, I know I do.

In my early days I was also subjected to many a snide dig. I was new kid on the block, some enjoyed my brand of sensible answers which were not sugar coated and represented my own _iews and was not smoothed to fit in with the majority, some enjoyed my challenges to other forumites, some thought I had a huge ego and was up my own arse. I am all of those things - what of it. I could have been offended, either not posted again or tried to suck up to those posters who make big statements. I can't do it though, it goes against my personality. I say what I like, without rudeness though, don't fit in with everyone, I've remained consistent, I'm still here and I love the forums.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

I thought that yesterday was a pretty unpleasant day in the forums. I have a feeling in my doughnuts, that today will be the same (I don't mean this thread)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was out yesterday so I didn't see any unpleasant threads.

For all those people who are saying it was unpleasant - did you post on the forums at all yesterday. Or do you not like unpleasantness so logged off to await a peaceful and friendly debating day.

Did you hell - you were all on here no doubt, joining in, putting your twopenneth in, enjoying it. It's not so unpleasant that we don't want to join in is it.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

To quote a wise man....

"Some people just say stupid shit at times"

Most of the time, these posts are deliberately posted against the grain, in an effort to wind people up. Other times, the intent is pure, but the delivery is fumbled.

I don't get offended by much. I just snap back at stupid shit that could easily be avoided had some iota of thought gone through the poster's mind prior to fingers meeting keyboard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was out yesterday so I didn't see any unpleasant threads.

For all those people who are saying it was unpleasant - did you post on the forums at all yesterday. Or do you not like unpleasantness so logged off to await a peaceful and friendly debating day.

Did you hell - you were all on here no doubt, joining in, putting your twopenneth in, enjoying it. It's not so unpleasant that we don't want to join in is it. "
Well concidering you think this is a unpleasant post and you dont like joining in . You are doing a great job of joining in .. Just saying

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"it can be the poster or the person reading it. its all in context"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I block those whose posts I do not like!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not the question you ask, its the way you ask it. Some topics are just plain offensive but don't you find that most times its just the posters attitude that offends? "

Yes. I find attitude more offensive than words. I say what I think. If there's wind whistling through my head I post nothing.

I think some people say things just for a reaction but only very very few. I think most people have their beliefs and express them. I don't always agree with them but who does.

I don't hate anyone. I might not like one post but I don't write that person off like some seem to. I love the banter.

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By *eareena OP   Couple
over a year ago

Rockford


"To quote a wise man....

"Some people just say stupid shit at times"

Most of the time, these posts are deliberately posted against the grain, in an effort to wind people up. Other times, the intent is pure, but the delivery is fumbled.

I don't get offended by much. I just snap back at stupid shit that could easily be avoided had some iota of thought gone through the poster's mind prior to fingers meeting keyboard."

perhaps I should be tougher like you because I do feel hurt and embarrassed if I feel I am personally attacked in here. I may even be looking for sympathy because its nice to be reassured that not everyone feels quite so negatively towards me and my posts but I try to contribute as honestly as I can. I'm not just appeasing posters to get meets I am trying to be part of the community here but its a tight group and it can be tough to join in sometimes if you feel you are disliked. The posts was about attitudes. I don't apologise for mine. I do want to be liked but its clear that attitude has the opposite affect on some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I block those whose posts I do not like! "

oh er. But can't that result in one becoming a little too narrow minded?

And why should anyone with a post which in your opinion stinks want to PM you anyway?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"To quote a wise man....

"Some people just say stupid shit at times"

Most of the time, these posts are deliberately posted against the grain, in an effort to wind people up. Other times, the intent is pure, but the delivery is fumbled.

I don't get offended by much. I just snap back at stupid shit that could easily be avoided had some iota of thought gone through the poster's mind prior to fingers meeting keyboard.

perhaps I should be tougher like you because I do feel hurt and embarrassed if I feel I am personally attacked in here. I may even be looking for sympathy because its nice to be reassured that not everyone feels quite so negatively towards me and my posts but I try to contribute as honestly as I can. I'm not just appeasing posters to get meets I am trying to be part of the community here but its a tight group and it can be tough to join in sometimes if you feel you are disliked. The posts was about attitudes. I don't apologise for mine. I do want to be liked but its clear that attitude has the opposite affect on some. "

Try to just be truthful to yourself and not worry about what others think of you. My rule is 'are they on my Christmas card list?' - if not then I could not give a stuff if someone likes me or not. I give my opinions - and that is all they are. I may feel strongly about those opinions but others will feel equally strongly about theirs.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"I was out yesterday so I didn't see any unpleasant threads.

For all those people who are saying it was unpleasant - did you post on the forums at all yesterday. Or do you not like unpleasantness so logged off to await a peaceful and friendly debating day.

Did you hell - you were all on here no doubt, joining in, putting your twopenneth in, enjoying it. It's not so unpleasant that we don't want to join in is it. "

I think it was only me that said it was unpleasant.

To answer your question. No I didn't log off I just didn't participate in the ones I found unpleasant. I certainly don't enjoy the ones I am referring to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I block those whose posts I do not like!

oh er. But can't that result in one becoming a little too narrow minded?

And why should anyone with a post which in your opinion stinks want to PM you anyway? "

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

There are two types of 'offensive' post on here. The first one is posted to rile up others by saying something so unreasonable and/or untrue the poster knows someone will bite back. The second one is a post about a topic that others don't like. It may have been worded poorly too.

The trick is not to take either seriously, to respond politely but with your opinion, and to bow out before you say something you regret. There are no prizes for getting the last word on here, and if something pisses you off so much you insult someone directly, you'll get a time-out.

Forums are for chat and discussion of _iews. If someone trolls on them then either don't rise to the bait, or don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't care, won't care what people think!

I block first before I post my response that is unlikely to go down well, this way, peeps cannot snipe at me with unpleasant messages using PM.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge


"I was out yesterday so I didn't see any unpleasant threads.

For all those people who are saying it was unpleasant - did you post on the forums at all yesterday. Or do you not like unpleasantness so logged off to await a peaceful and friendly debating day.

Did you hell - you were all on here no doubt, joining in, putting your twopenneth in, enjoying it. It's not so unpleasant that we don't want to join in is it.

I think it was only me that said it was unpleasant.

To answer your question. No I didn't log off I just didn't participate in the ones I found unpleasant. I certainly don't enjoy the ones I am referring to "

I was out all day so missed it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't care,

"

That's the attitude we like

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North


"could it also partly be the way the reader is feeling and how he/she interprates the question?

if the OP has written a controversial thread before will you tar every post they write there after based on their previous posts? etc

I am afraid I am guilty of this... once an impression is made its tough for me to not equate everything they say to that impression "

Same here. I remember a female poster commenting that she would never would have sex with a guy who has slept with an overweight women previously, as they obviously did not have standards. Now everytime I see her post, that's all I can think about.

I do love a healthy debate though. It's only when the insults start to be used that I leave the thread.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

some want to be liked

others don't give it a second thought

both are cool

just enjoy it for what it is... a load of nonsense, but good nonsense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some are made of chalk, others 316 stainless steel, and the rest somewhere in between.

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