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Just found this and thought it was worth a chuckle

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By *ichaelangela OP   Couple
over a year ago

notts

John Cleese has it about right:

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

True that about us Aussies. We have yet to experience a situation serious enough to warrant canceling the barbie.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Nice one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"True that about us Aussies. We have yet to experience a situation serious enough to warrant canceling the barbie. "

I'd suggest losing the ashes, being beaten by the lions - in fact the general state of Aussie sport is cause to cancel the barbie !!!

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

[Removed by poster at 13/09/13 18:58:45]

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London


"True that about us Aussies. We have yet to experience a situation serious enough to warrant canceling the barbie.

I'd suggest losing the ashes, being beaten by the lions - in fact the general state of Aussie sport is cause to cancel the barbie !!!"

Absolutely not. That is actually a goo dreason to make the barbieeven bigger so we can drink more booze to console ouselves

** I don't actually give a hoot about rugby or cricket. Just don't tell my dad I said that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Aussies, that is all, thank you!!

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