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Friends without sex !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What i would like to know is if you met someone on here and had great sex over a period of time, and now you just want to be friends with them, and they say no that's not what they want and to be friends there HAS to be sex involved...

How would you cope with that, would you just delete and block, say fair enough i understand and leave the matter alone or would you try to find out why he/she wants it to be that way??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they wouldn't still be in my life if they demanded we could only be friends if sex was involved

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You mean someone tries to coerce someone else into having sex to keep them as a friend?

I'd tell them to eff off!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

your way or the highway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If YOUR feelings have changed regarding a fb, then its time to move on i'm afraid. I for one wouldn't compromise myself by having sex with 'a friend' for friendships sake.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Wouldn't block them but wouldn't pursue the matter any further to be honest.

I'd pass the odd hello message but if it was clear they were still angling for meets then I'd make contact less frequent.

I have experienced this a bit now I am in a relationship. To be fair friendships on here are rarely friendships for life.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford

What kind of friend is that? Emotional blackmail. . Better off without those. With friends like that... who needs enemas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry OP - but I'm confused as to why you'd even consider having sex with someone you don't want to?

Friends, casual acquaintances or total strangers - no still means no!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met with a guy from here regularly but as in RM he is now in Portsmouth so we can't meet as often. He has surprised me by messaging to say he's coming down. No we didn't play... He took me to Newquay in Cornwall for a meal.

So yes it can happen to have good sex then just be friends, I'd not be coerced into sex for friendship. That's not being a friend. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?"

Its fine to say that if the intention is to stop being mates, but to say that the only way he would consider staying mates is for her to have sex with him is a bit inelegant to put it mildly.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"To be fair friendships on here are rarely friendships for life. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?"

Thats a perfectly valid point. But, the lass is asking if she should stay friends and give in to his demands for sex for friendships sake, or give him up as a friend due to not wanting sex with him anymore. The guys perfectly within his rights to say that he doesn't want her as just a vanilla friend. Hes NOT entitled to demand sex though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?

Its fine to say that if the intention is to stop being mates, but to say that the only way he would consider staying mates is for her to have sex with him is a bit inelegant to put it mildly."

Inelegant maybe, inarticulate too no doubt ( yet we haven't heard from him have we) but i suspect his intentions are merely a continued supply of sex.

Is it any less elegant to suggest that this unknown party, who may well have a different story to tell, wanted to coerce anyone into sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?

Thats a perfectly valid point. But, the lass is asking if she should stay friends and give in to his demands for sex for friendships sake, or give him up as a friend due to not wanting sex with him anymore. The guys perfectly within his rights to say that he doesn't want her as just a vanilla friend. Hes NOT entitled to demand sex though!"

lol, not really, but you have no way of knowing whether the guy has or has not done so? Have you?

It wouldn't be the first case of a spurned woman going overboard.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"

Am i reading this correctly?

The other party, presumably male and with friends outside of fabs,, is on this site to have ns sex with hitherto strangers.

When his fb ( for want of a better term) ceases to want sex, the guy says no that's not what he wants. Yet he's pilloried for it.

What's wrong with that? Don't 99% of people on here move on afterwards?

Its fine to say that if the intention is to stop being mates, but to say that the only way he would consider staying mates is for her to have sex with him is a bit inelegant to put it mildly.

Inelegant maybe, inarticulate too no doubt ( yet we haven't heard from him have we) but i suspect his intentions are merely a continued supply of sex.

Is it any less elegant to suggest that this unknown party, who may well have a different story to tell, wanted to coerce anyone into sex?"

Probably not. However I gave my personal opinion. Was I harsh? Probably. But when the phrase 'HAD to have sex' is used then it is a bit of a red flag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would tell him to get stuffed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

He or she it's not pointed at anyone , i just really wanted to know that if it happened what were your thoughts on the subject would be....

I do agree with what someone has said above and that the words "Emotional blackmail" comes to mind.

And i also agree that if he/she can-not have a friendship with out sex then there can-not be any friendship at all

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

If "to be friends there HAS to be sex involved" he isn't your friend.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I have non-sexual friends on Fabs from both genders. I have people I have had sex with but no longer do who continue to be friends. They are all non stringy friendships.

Any hint of demands or stringiness on here doesn't sit well.

Do whatever feels right for you and not what someone else wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As so many have said so far, friends don't have conditions.

It sounds like this person only wants you for sex and if you don't want it then you are NOT obliged to take part.

If he/she falls away then they are not worth your time.

Consent without coercion is paramount surely.

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