FabSwingers.com forum: socials

By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

just seen a social advertised

and they are restricting it to just ten single guys

thought socials were for every one

may be im wrong whats your views

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

lol - they're going to be a bit bored aren't they - just 10 people invited! Seems a bit mean! Z

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

doh - sorry - you meant couples, ladies and just 10 single guys - sorry! yes, tho - i agree - shouldn't be a limit! Z

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

Well they all try to get a balance of singles and couples so if they are having 40 in total, 20 couples & 20 singles of which 10 male and 10 female that's ok.

Or is it a singleist social???

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

[Removed by poster at 16/02/10 17:30:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I guess we're the lowest of the low aren't we?

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

the room holds 100 and no limit on single ladies just guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know it's a little disappointing, but it's simple supply and demand. Single guys looking for dates outnumber single ladies and couples looking for guys. You can't 'B'cuk the market.

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"the room holds 100 and no limit on single ladies just guys

Ahhh we have apatite then lol where is Nelson Mandella when you need him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" just seen a social advertised

and they are restricting it to just ten single guys

thought socials were for every one

may be im wrong whats your views "

If we get real desperate, we can always shag each other Jim!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the room holds 100 and no limit on single ladies just guys

Then its NOT social then surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand all the supply and demand strategies.... but do any other women feel like I do sometimes ?

Cheap or free to get into clubs.

No number limit at parties.

Free/Cheap drinks etc ...

ALL to attract and satisfy paying males.....

It's still viewing females as breed cows whatever respectable umbrella it's under.

What is it in our society that still makes women scared to openly like sex and be seen as sexual?

What other reason is there for the male female imbalance. DONT tell me that men have higher sex drives....... that's a total fallacy.

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

did have my name down when it was first sugested

but now told them i`m not going due to the restriction on guys

and will go where im more welcome

roll on april 10th lol

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

It does seem a bit silly to me, what if 10 say they can go but 5 end up not being able to at the last minute, i can see a limit being ok but set at a higher lever perhaps, as life does happen sometimes to stop you doing what you want to! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What other reason is there for the male female imbalance. DONT tell me that men have higher sex drives....... that's a total fallacy."

See me for detention you naughty girl!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

I never put a limit on the amount of single guys on any social I organise.

50% won't turn up

10% will turn up with a female in tow, making them a couple

20% will look like rabbit in headlights and sit in a corner blithering all night

and about 20% will play....

Perfect ratio.

To me, if there is a set number of single guys allowed, then it's a party hosted by someone with preferences....... not a social.

And anyway, at the Pussy Posse socials, the single females generally out weight the men 2 to 1, but then I suppose the Pussy Posse love to party!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well Jim, our social is open to anyone, male female, single, couple, tv gay, bi, cd and anyone else that we may have forgotton about

You see Jim, it's a social but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it Jim !

Oh and it's in October at Skegness Butlins

all welcome to come along

Now if that isn't an advert I don't know what is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the Pussy Posse love to party!

Fuck me - try saying that after a few beers

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"I never put a limit on the amount of single guys on any social I organise.

50% won't turn up

10% will turn up with a female in tow, making them a couple

20% will look like rabbit in headlights and sit in a corner blithering all night

and about 20% will play....

Perfect ratio.

To me, if there is a set number of single guys allowed, then it's a party hosted by someone with preferences....... not a social.

And anyway, at the Pussy Posse socials, the single females generally out weight the men 2 to 1, but then I suppose the Pussy Posse love to party!

Oooo was i meant to do some blithering :-. Best post of the day its made me smile lots here lol

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

"Well Jim, our social is open to anyone, male female, single, couple, tv gay, bi, cd and anyone else that we may have forgotton about

You see Jim, it's a social but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it Jim !

Oh and it's in October at Skegness Butlins

all welcome to come along

Now if that isn't an advert I don't know what is

and its to celibrat some thing very good too

dont know how my shifts work out for it but good luck and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Jim, our social is open to anyone, male female, single, couple, tv gay, bi, cd and anyone else that we may have forgotton about

You see Jim, it's a social but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it Jim !

Oh and it's in October at Skegness Butlins

all welcome to come along

Now if that isn't an advert I don't know what is

He mite have klinglons on his starboard bow tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how many females are going

sounds like its a gang bang to me

rather than a social

wont go to them either

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

"Well Jim, our social is open to anyone, male female, single, couple, tv gay, bi, cd and anyone else that we may have forgotton about

You see Jim, it's a social but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it Jim !

Oh and it's in October at Skegness Butlins

all welcome to come along

Now if that isn't an advert I don't know what is

He mite have klinglons on his starboard bow tho

nah all ways use them moist tisues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well Jim, our social is open to anyone, male female, single, couple, tv gay, bi, cd and anyone else that we may have forgotton about

You see Jim, it's a social but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it Jim !

Oh and it's in October at Skegness Butlins

all welcome to come along

Now if that isn't an advert I don't know what is

He mite have klinglons on his starboard bow tho

nah all ways use them moist tisues

ah well its life jim, but not as we know it

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

"how many females are going

sounds like its a gang bang to me

rather than a social

wont go to them either"

no they restricting it to cpls and single fems plus 10 token guys

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"how many females are going

sounds like its a gang bang to me

rather than a social

wont go to them either"

Well it's hardly appealling for the women who like to meet single guys if there are only a possible 10 to get a look at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how many females are going

sounds like its a gang bang to me

rather than a social

wont go to them either

Well it's hardly appealling for the women who like to meet single guys if there are only a possible 10 to get a look at."

Boring !!!

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

"how many females are going

sounds like its a gang bang to me

rather than a social

wont go to them either

no they restricting it to cpls and single fems plus 10 token guys "

Its a little.........errr lets say unpleasant in its wording to read. Guess a lot of the single females might not be as ken to attend if only 10 single men are there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i wouldnt wanna be sat staring at loved up cpls and waiting to be asked to play etc.

(not that i do cpls )

I would walk out .

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

"Well i wouldnt wanna be sat staring at loved up cpls and waiting to be asked to play etc.

(not that i do cpls )

I would walk out .

well i have told them i`m not going and why

not that it will bother them any way

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

well when i was playing as a single fem....there is no way i would go near.....very off putting and no way to hold a social

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I can see the point of a 'couples only' social... not saying it's needed as it's only a 'social'... but I can see the point.

Surely they must see it's neither here nor there just 'limiting' one section to a pretty pointless number.... unless they are worried 95 guys will take up the 100 spaces.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My birthday party social was open to all, first come first served got a place.

fortunately we have manage to get a fair mix of newbies, old faces and singles, male and female.

Almost every forum suggests to single guys, get yourself along to a social...

bit off if there's only 10 allowed....

I maybe should have hand picked 10 to be my private entertainment on the night...and sod everyone else!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have seen the "social" mentioned... and it is interesting that this topic has been mentioned ... I am sure the organisers and there friends will be along soon to defend there decisions and I am sure this will end up turning into some sort of "bum-fight"

okay.... lets gets some misconceptions sorted first...

1) I have no axe to grind with social organisers... and in the end they say invite whoever they want and how many of whoever they like.....

I have organised social nights, heck one of the organisers has been to one of mine, so it makes me sad to think they have this attitude when it comes to others

I have had 120-150 people from all over the country come to a small pub in newcastle... couples, single fems and single men... the only thing I asked was to leave the world of life and worry outside those doors.. and for a few hours have a bloody good time!!!

2) I have been going to socials on various swinging sites for the best part of five years, all across the country... from north wales to east anglia to the south coast to the south west to wales to scotland....

I have never been to one where singles have ever outnumbered couples....so this notion that people need to gerrymander the figures so you can get a good balance is poppycock......

3) This is the reason why I made the personal decision to stop going to north east socials a long time ago... sad but true......

It is funny that people at Scottish socials welcome everyone with open arms... it is funny that people at Welsh socials welcome everyone with open arms.... it is funny that people in most parts of England welcome everyone with open arms....

and yet there are some that look at it like others are beneath them, obviously in some organisor's eyes you go up the ladder if you have a person on your arm!! nice of them to look at that and not the actual person who is going...

they won't be the first organisers of events that do this.... and I am sure they will not be the last....

and jim.... just in this organisers defence, did you not go to one in barnsley last week who has the some type of thing.... so are you argueing about the rules themselves or the number of people allowed

4) If it just a social..... and I am assuming reading the event that it is a purely social setting... then why does it matter how many of any type of person is there....surely the point is to "socialise"

like I said at the top, never been to a social event where couples have been outnumbered and I'll doubt if that 5 year streak is going to end anytime soon.....

In the end..... I may the personal decision to not go to these type of events... been two years so far and don't regret it in the slightest... I made my own personal line in the sand and said enough is enough.....

If people ask me why I don't go to local events I am absolutely honest with them, then it is there decision whether they want to support these events with restrictions.... because in the end it is only going to people voting with there feet that will make people change there minds....

and in the meantime....

I'll keep going to socials in scotland where they are all-encompassing.....

I'll keep going to socials in wales where they are all-encompassing....

and I'll keep going to socials in other parts of England where they are all-encompassing.....

I'll support any social that in my mind upholds the spirit of the entire community... and for what I believe a swinging site should stand for....

sean xxxxxxxx

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By *1sexypairCouple
over a year ago

Retford

I have read all the above about this but they may also be genuine reasons for only allowing so many single men,

Looking at how many single men have put there name on the list already…… he could have added his name for some reason hasn’t,

looks like someone just wants’ to moan about the amount off single men being allowed to attend this event,

if the pub/club where the event is taken place is only allowed to accommodates x amount of people surly they have to put a limit on somewhere could be due to fire regulations etc just my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u cant please em all!!!

but to be honest as a single fussy female ten is really limitin the choice in my own opinion! xx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"u cant please em all!!!

but to be honest as a single fussy female ten is really limitin the choice in my own opinion! xx

As a couple who play with single men, 10 would be seriously limiting our choice as well.

Wouldn't be worth bothering with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"u cant please em all!!!

but to be honest as a single fussy female ten is really limitin the choice in my own opinion! xx

As a couple who play with single men, 10 would be seriously limiting our choice as well.

Wouldn't be worth bothering with."

def!! ten single men is like ten pair of shoes it just aint enough!!

even addin in ten guys from couples thats only 20 and if say its 100 spaces that leaves 80 women!!

god it would be like gettin picked for sports at school lol!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"u cant please em all!!!

but to be honest as a single fussy female ten is really limitin the choice in my own opinion! xx

As a couple who play with single men, 10 would be seriously limiting our choice as well.

Wouldn't be worth bothering with."

I am totally with you there. I prefer single men if given a choice as usually they are more attentive and dare i say it fitter because they don't have pussy at home lol. I don't think i would attend a social so lopsided.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

like i said... the problem is some single guys will take the high road and follow there principles, but there are enough that will take whatever scraps are being left out....

but you are right... its not catering to couples who like singles, its not catering to single fems who like single guys either.....

I bet that if they limited the amount of single fems who could go to an event there would be more people up in arms........

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

well the social in question have cleared up the situation... they are also limiting single ladies to 10 as well.....

I still maintain that in the 5 years of going to socials singles have never outnumbered couples in any event without having to manipulate so why start now....

and it seem socials all across the country don't have the same issues as it seems some nothern people do... so i'll be going to socials every else but near to home...

roll on scottish, and welsh and other english socials.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's a lot of tea and cakes to provide, do they have a band

Jeff and Linda

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well the social in question have cleared up the situation... they are also limiting single ladies to 10 as well.....

I still maintain that in the 5 years of going to socials singles have never outnumbered couples in any event without having to manipulate so why start now....

and it seem socials all across the country don't have the same issues as it seems some nothern people do... so i'll be going to socials every else but near to home...

roll on scottish, and welsh and other english socials....."

cya friday _abio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we organise our socials we limit the number of single men depending on the number of couples we have attending.

We also like the single men to either be regulars on the forums or recommended by couples as in our experience if they are none of these then they don't turn up.

This does not mean that we say no to men who don't meet the above criteria as its a first come first serve basis, but its been proven time and time again that the single men who do turn up are forum users or ones been recommended by cpls.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

too right laine...

Scottish socials are brill.... have me passport ready, had all me shots and looking forward to shots of irn bru!!!!!

if I has one wish it would be for people who see singles as such a hinderance would go to a scottish or welsh social and see the blast people have...

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"too right laine...

Scottish socials are brill.... have me passport ready, had all me shots and looking forward to shots of irn bru!!!!!

if I has one wish it would be for people who see singles as such a hinderance would go to a scottish or welsh social and see the blast people have...

eh heeemmmm

What about the Pussy Posse Socials?

Plenty of single men come to ours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds like a daft idea to me, i thought the whole idea of socials was to sit about, have a chat and get to know each other? i dont understand why they feel the need to limit numbers on any group in a social situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that.

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

"sounds like a daft idea to me, i thought the whole idea of socials was to sit about, have a chat and get to know each other? i dont understand why they feel the need to limit numbers on any group in a social situation

Totally agree! Our socials are open to everyone and I always promote socials to single guys as an excellent opportunity to get themselves known on the scene. We always have an excellent turn out at our socials in the region of 200 people at our last few, with lots of single guys turning up. This sounds more like a party to me.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that."
i agree you two have to set limits on stuff due to lack of space, but socials held at large venues, swingers clubs, or just a pub crawl, i dont think single males should be marginalised.....agree with the _adchick on this one xx

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that."

Maybe, it's time to rethink the venue for the Barnsley socials if you always have long waiting lists and you are having to restrict certain swingers.

You will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Unfortunately, socials, in essence, have always been open to ALL.

To restrict certain groups is to turn it into a party where the organisers have a preference on who they invite.

Maybe you could look for a bigger venue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that.

Maybe, it's time to rethink the venue for the Barnsley socials if you always have long waiting lists and you are having to restrict certain swingers.

You will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Unfortunately, socials, in essence, have always been open to ALL.

To restrict certain groups is to turn it into a party where the organisers have a preference on who they invite.

Maybe you could look for a bigger venue?"

Not an option for us as the venue we use is our own pub, if the venue was anywhere else we couldnt run them, the whole reason we started the socials was because we couldnt get out to other socials because we are tied to the pub, so it was a case of bring the socials to us.

personally we wouldnt want to organise a larger one for a number of reason, mailey if it was at another venue we simply wouldnt have the time. As im sure other publicans know running a pub especial the way the pub trade is at the min is a 25/8 job.

And personally we enjoy the smaller socials alot more than the larger ones.

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

have to aggree with you kevnkat had a realy good time in feb

cant wait for april

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From what others have said previously the socials that kevnkat run are a big hit with those that attend. I think it's a bit unfair for them to be taken to task on this issue. They have issues with venue size and have made decisions with that in mind that has put a couple of noses out of joint.

The very positive feedback they get from those that have atended in the past must mean they are doing something right. Perhaps they should be congratulated for making the best with what they have as opposed to being lambasted by a few who are not on the guest list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thanks two2bonk,

getting used to having to defend our socials on the forums these days lol

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that.

Maybe, it's time to rethink the venue for the Barnsley socials if you always have long waiting lists and you are having to restrict certain swingers.

You will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Unfortunately, socials, in essence, have always been open to ALL.

To restrict certain groups is to turn it into a party where the organisers have a preference on who they invite.

Maybe you could look for a bigger venue?

And personally we enjoy the smaller socials alot more than the larger ones."

I totally agree.

However, I would hate to see all your hard work and effort lambasted because of the exclusion of a certain group.

Like I said, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not really as its a simple as we do it where we can or we dont do it at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not really as its a simple as we do it where we can or we dont do it at all."

could you maybe do a bus service ?

then us that wanna come wont be let down last minute and can get there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i am not one of the holy 10 above so will have to look for another one to go to

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

socials, events or parties or whatever the organiser wants to call them are up to them to stipulate who THEY would like to attend ,its you who has the choice to attend or not or put your name forward to attend no point in beating yourself up about who is and who is not allowed after all ANYONE can organise a social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"socials, events or parties or whatever the organiser wants to call them are up to them to stipulate who THEY would like to attend ,its you who has the choice to attend or not or put your name forward to attend no point in beating yourself up about who is and who is not allowed after all ANYONE can organise a social "

Well i am not complaining i would love to go to one my self

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

socials parties or whatever are defo the best way to meet people knight its harder for single guys just due to the numbers but the nice ones shine threw m8 trust me

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

I havnt quite got the angle here..but are some socials couples only?...we fancy one but the last thing either of us want to to be hassled or even approached by single guys...but we would love to chat to couples and watch everyone having a great time...swingers seem such a fun loving happy crowd

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

socials are a term used for group meets and can be for all or limited numbers best keep an eye on the meets and forum for whats going on around your area or even better try and get to some swing clubs most are good to meet and theres no pressure ( not that there has been at any socials we have been too )

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By *im53 OP Man
over a year ago

Boldon

"when you have limited space you dont have a choice.

you may not agree with it but it works for us, and if any miss out because our list is full they are first on the list for the next social.

cant be fairer than that.

Maybe, it's time to rethink the venue for the Barnsley socials if you always have long waiting lists and you are having to restrict certain swingers.

You will be damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Unfortunately, socials, in essence, have always been open to ALL.

To restrict certain groups is to turn it into a party where the organisers have a preference on who they invite.

Maybe you could look for a bigger venue?

And personally we enjoy the smaller socials alot more than the larger ones.

I totally agree.

However, I would hate to see all your hard work and effort lambasted because of the exclusion of a certain group.

Like I said, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't."

can i make it quite clear that my original comment was not about kevnkat`s

socials

but one to be held here in the north east.

they run a small pub and do have to limit the no`s so no gripe there and have had a great time there and hope to again

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By *exeteraWoman
over a year ago

Bridgend

"Well i am not one of the holy 10 above so will have to look for another one to go to

Wales will always be happy to have you come along. We have a social in March in Cardiff and one in Swansea in April. Detail scan be found in the Wales section of the forum.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"have to aggree with you kevnkat had a realy good time in feb

cant wait for april

no offence jim.... but it them comes back to the argument I made in the long winded post....

If you are going to socials that already have limits in place, then is the original grumble about the rule itself or the number of people going under the rule....

if it is about the rule...fair enough but I think that if people call you out then I think that is fair comment as you go to these types of events

if it is just about the number... then I am sorry... no sympathy at all from me!!

like I said... I don't agree with the rule, I don't go to any socials with the rules in place... I followed my principles all the way regardless

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

i personally think all who organise socials are kinda brave and stick there heads in the firing line coz somebody will get upset lol

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

"socials are a term used for group meets and can be for all or limited numbers best keep an eye on the meets and forum for whats going on around your area or even better try and get to some swing clubs most are good to meet and theres no pressure ( not that there has been at any socials we have been too )"

Thanks country pair...we could never do a club...as much as we would both love to, we are far to backward in coming forward on that front...we are good company and a lot of fun though...thats why we thought a social would be a nice happy medium...thanks for the info...we'll keep our eye open for whats going on..in fact we will double our chances and keep both of them open!

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

well stick in there camswing there s some great parties n people but as with all its never handed to us on a plate lol good luck xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"have to aggree with you kevnkat had a realy good time in feb

cant wait for april

no offence jim.... but it them comes back to the argument I made in the long winded post....

If you are going to socials that already have limits in place, then is the original grumble about the rule itself or the number of people going under the rule....

if it is about the rule...fair enough but I think that if people call you out then I think that is fair comment as you go to these types of events

if it is just about the number... then I am sorry... no sympathy at all from me!!

like I said... I don't agree with the rule, I don't go to any socials with the rules in place... I followed my principles all the way regardless

so IYO what we do with limiting the number of places for singles guys because of our limited space is wrong???

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"have to aggree with you kevnkat had a realy good time in feb

cant wait for april

no offence jim.... but it them comes back to the argument I made in the long winded post....

If you are going to socials that already have limits in place, then is the original grumble about the rule itself or the number of people going under the rule....

if it is about the rule...fair enough but I think that if people call you out then I think that is fair comment as you go to these types of events

if it is just about the number... then I am sorry... no sympathy at all from me!!

like I said... I don't agree with the rule, I don't go to any socials with the rules in place... I followed my principles all the way regardless

so IYO what we do with limiting the number of places for singles guys because of our limited space is wrong???"

its a fair question....

the way I would answer this is that you do what you want with your socials.. in the words of al murray, pub landlord "your gaff, your rules!"

however that is why I asked the OP what his complaint actually was... was it A) the fact that the singles guys had been limited, or B) the fact that it had been limited to just 10 guys...

I just think it is just a bit hard to argue point B if he is happy with point A and that is what I was trying to understand.....

with regards to "socials" in themselves, in the 5 years that I have been going to socials on the various different swinging sites all across the country, I have never seen one where singles have outnumbered couples without the need to manipulate the figures.....

now people in scotland seem to have a blast at socials without having the need to do it.... and people in wales seem to have a blast at socials without having the need to do it....

so why do people in northern england feel the need to... and thats what I don't get my head around... it is a particular northern thing

my position on this is hopefully clear... which is why I stopped going to north east socials,

there wasn't a problem with the mix of people going to them before and I was happy going to them, in fact single guys were very much in the minority, because they were non play and you got to know people and they are a bloody good laugh...

then this stuff started coming in.... I was not happy and decided not to put my name to them, and when we tell people regardless of whether they are a couple, single fem or single guy that one of the best ways of getting yourself known is to go to a social, then what type of message are we sending then by adding "you are welcome.... but only if ya in the first "x" amount of people coming........."

I stopped going to socials where they put "quota's" on people..... I just think its send out the wrong message to people, its only my principles and I would never stopped other people going.... theres on this subject may not be as strong as mine.....

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

As someone above has already stated, those that organise socials are brave cus we always stick our heads above the firing line.

I understand limited space which is why I suggested changing your venue, but as you have stated, you want to keep control and I understand that totally.

I don't have that problem with the Pussy Posse bashes as we use clubs, but I keep total control over FAB members and anyone else I know who is coming and a huge amount of control over what happens..... BUT.......

I've been berated for:

not providing Vegan food,

for not keeping to timings with certain games that other people thought I should,

for not being able to control the weather (I kid you not)

For not having enough black men there

and for a multitude of other things.

Like I said before and will say again, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

You can't please everyone, so you please the majority.

If anyone objects to the single guy rule, then find another social.... there is always something running

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone above has already stated, those that organise socials are brave cus we always stick our heads above the firing line.

I understand limited space which is why I suggested changing your venue, but as you have stated, you want to keep control and I understand that totally.

I've been berated for:

not providing Vegan food,

for not keeping to timings with certain games that other people thought I should,

for not being able to control the weather (I kid you not)

For not having enough black men there

and for a multitude of other things.

Like I said before and will say again, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

You can't please everyone, so you please the majority.

If anyone objects to the single guy rule, then find another social.... there is always something running"

is vegans them out of star trek??

wow am comin to your socials!! xx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

If anyone objects to the single guy rule, then find another social.... there is always something running"

which is the attitude that I take.... hence wales, and scotland, and eventually I will get to a pussy possy event

but the only thing different between the two socials, one which the OP is bitterly complaining about and one which the OP loves isn't the "quota" thing but the size of the "quota" which I think is a hypocritical stance to take....

I have organised socials in the past and enjoyed doing them... I will probably get round to doing one again (gave up on thinking about doing one in the north east because of the attitudes and looking at doing one in edinburgh)

And I hope that you all come up if/when I do.... it will be one hell of a knees up!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hes not the only one been hypocritical here though is he

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Hes not the only one been hypocritical here though is he

no.... and for absolutely full disclosure if I had known then what I know now, I would never had asked... I saw mutual friends had been so that is why I asked before...

and as you may have noticed I have not asked since....

but lets keep it to the topic of the opening post......

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

okay kevnkat... since I answered your question can you answer one of mine....

have you organised any socials in the past without the "quota's" being in place? if so how did it go?

was it the perceived notion that socials will be over run with single men that made you take the step to go down that route? I ask because in my experience the difference between perception and reality is huge on this one......

Like I said... the "quota" thing seems to be a northern thing.... not many anywhere else seems to do it... and that is what I don't get my head around

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay kevnkat... since I answered your question can you answer one of mine....

have you organised any socials in the past without the "quota's" being in place? if so how did it go?

Like I said... the "quota" thing seems to be a northern thing.... not many anywhere else seems to do it... and that is what I don't get my head around"

It was none of the above, it is simply we have a small pub where numbers are limited, we cater for everyone and try to keep everyone happy. If we do not set numbers, it is very possible that we have more single guys than couples or single fems, so numbers are set ensuring that everyone who attends is happy. People who cant get on the list and yes this does include single fems and couples if our lists are full then they get the chance to be first on the list for the next social we do.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

having done 8 socials on another site over the years including a singles newbie one which included a club trip ive always capped it at a number ie 120 but never (still have lists ) put a number on the single men or women when the lists full its full ,at my newbie one there was more men than cpls and night went down very well,for the others i done was the same thing, what we have leant over the last few years there will allways be some one moaning about this or that and even had some one try to stir the shit inbetween and behind our backs but stay firmly in the back ground but as allways the grapevine it travels back to you ,the socials have allways been a great success with 1 incident delt with st8 away . the so called social has had to be replanned as it was being held in newcastle and most acom was very very hard to find due to sumit on and loads travel and need to have accom there was a origanal list but the event needed to be down sized due to a new venue this of which could not be helped and lots of venues where looked at phoned ect so there was a lot of work put into it before the venue was finally booked and sorted .the only thing wrong here really was the way it was worded rich forgot to put the single fems bit in a simple mistake , there are a few singles who travel to socials together and could of attended as a cpl ? making more room for other singles and as the venue is smaller its a first come first served as all social with a capped venue .just to state ive never held a ne social where men were capped and never seen one .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think next time ill hold a male single social since 112 want to cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did try to explain this to Jim on the other thread, obviously my explanation to him wasnt good enough which is why he has felt the need to come in here and have a good old moan about the situation!

We decided to restrict the number of singles because the room we have only holds 100 maximum, if we had 30 or 40 singles putting their names down straight away then it leaves not much room for couples.

Granted not all of the singles would turn up anyway (the last event I organised, I think only a quarter of single males on the list actually turned up) but we couldnt take the risk of having more than 100 people confirmed on the list just incase the mould was broke and they did all turn up, as it wouldnt be pretty having to turn people away on the night!

Its a crap situation, but hey ho....if you dont like it, organise your own!

And Fabio, as Northy has already mentioned, I too have organised & attended a number of Northeast socials & munches and cannot recall a single event that had singles or any other people restricted or capped in any way, shape or form. If however you can show me some evidence of such I shall accept you slagging off the Northeast continually in your posts, however if you cant, i'd appreciate it loads if you could drop it as you arent painting a pretty picture for those looking to attend?

Cheers

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"I did try to explain this to Jim on the other thread, obviously my explanation to him wasnt good enough which is why he has felt the need to come in here and have a good old moan about the situation!

Its a crap situation, but hey ho....if you dont like it, organise your own!

Cheers"

I personally think you are eering too far on the side of caution. As you say, only 25% will turn up and in general (in many years of social organising), I've never held a 100 people social where 40+ single males put their names down, let alone turned up.

However, that said, it is your social and I wish you all the very best and hope it's a raging success.

Maddie xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we are being too cautious, however we would rather be cautious than letting people down on the night or worse....loosing the licensee his licence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i thought for a social it was unlimited? oh well, they could be stuck for space...but then that just makes it badly planned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i thought for a social it was unlimited? oh well, they could be stuck for space...but then that just makes it badly planned."

How exactly does it make it badly planned?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i thought for a social it was unlimited? oh well, they could be stuck for space...but then that just makes it badly planned."

we try our best

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

[Removed by poster at 18/02/10 16:17:52]

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

it cant be unlimited if the place arny holds so many,,,,, and for the origanal list wernt there a cany few coming down from scotland ?? the first ne social was a raving success by all accounts( i wernt there in hossy) but the reports were good ones and as soon as announced the 2nd 1 places filled up fast cpls and singles , coupleseeks been to most of mine and we attended there one they took over when the person organised it dropped oot at the last min that night was a success 1 bit of bother of a single who took the mic and went rund bothering lasses that was delt with sorted and cant remember now but a shit load of money was made on the night by generous peeps hoying not just coins but notes into a hat that went to a good charity , AND end of this is a same type night enjoyment few drinks good laff if anyones pairs off for fun thats up to them but money for a charity to me THATS a good cause if anyone dont wana contribute towards this dont put ya name doon simple it aint as though theres gona be a raffle for a shag is it , task ,some ones organising a night out for charity hang them i say ffs .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i thought for a social it was unlimited? oh well, they could be stuck for space...but then that just makes it badly planned.

How exactly does it make it badly planned?"

What we all have to remember is that some venues have safety/fire regulations imposed so you have to limit the number who are invited. On these occasions it makes sense not to have too many males or females or couples.

Looking at the social in question 10% single males is out of proportion and the organisers do not look good in what the have done. 30% would have been acceptable along with 30% single females and 40% couples. BUT if your organising you can set your own rules and all should accept that. You can however make your assumptions on the caricature and desires of the organisers.

Now if your organising an event in a larger area which holds more then you have less restrictions and can leave it open to all. After all it’s a lot harder to fill a place that holds 400 rather than 100. As FAB grows though the Posse events may have an over subscription and have to look at this like the Barnsley and other events do.

Now if people were honest and asked for a place with full intention of turning up things would be far easier. But in reality many ask for a place just in case they can attend. We all know people are fickle and many just do not turn up. I would suggest serial non attendees are placed on standby lists to avoid this.

Finally some socials are more on the pub crawl basis with no set venue so no limitation on numbers is required. However if you turned up at a pub with 300 social goers many venues would not be able to accommodate you all. What we all need to understand is there are many different ways of holding a social and although we might hold one differently to others it doesn’t mean they are doing it wrong. However if you are holding an event and you do limit numbers of singles and couples then if you do have an imbalance in singles/couples don’t wine if you get criticised for doing so as you only have your self to blame for people not being happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As Maddie and others have alluded to what ever they plan, what ever decisions they make, what ever policies the feel appropriate to put in place someone, sadly is always going to have a teddy throwing tantrum

Whining is not a very pleasant character trait and should really be avoided at all costs

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

10 single guys!!!!!!! Well that would be me occupied for the first half hour what would i do the rest of the night. Doesnt sound much like a social to me. Wouldnt catch me there if only 10 single guys. What does it matter

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

"Now if people were honest and asked for a place with full intention of turning up things would be far easier. But in reality many ask for a place just in case they can attend. We all know people are fickle and many just do not turn up. I would suggest serial non attendees are placed on standby lists to avoid this.

"
yes i have lists of serial non attendees of all the ones we have done ,so when they again put there name down it was just ignored as when emailed was read and ignored even some that confirmed and details sent out with my number for contact only if not coming or got lost ,,,,,lo behold one of them on the list who never been even met anyone rung the contact number 2 months after as i was at work saw our adds updated and rung my number what was kept from so called social details sent out and thout he would ring the wife for a meet and seemed pretty shocked to hear my voice even asked to speak to the wife

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By *ountrypairCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

me thinks this topic is going round in circles if organisers want to stipulate conditions on the event ITS UP TO THEM why the grief towards them. there is NOT a RULE BOOK on socials its up to the organiser to decided and the success will be measured on the night. am thinking sour grapes are creeping into this thread when in reality theres no problem at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"10 single guys!!!!!!! Well that would be me occupied for the first half hour what would i do the rest of the night. Doesnt sound much like a social to me. Wouldnt catch me there if only 10 single guys. What does it matter"
well shall we put the 112 singles guys on the list first or shall we go throw the orginal list which has single males and single females on it? dosnt matter now all full now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"me thinks this topic is going round in circles if organisers want to stipulate conditions on the event ITS UP TO THEM why the grief towards them. there is NOT a RULE BOOK on socials its up to the organiser to decided and the success will be measured on the night. am thinking sour grapes are creeping into this thread when in reality theres no problem at all."
well said xxxxx

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

There is no rule book, there is no official template; a party/social is what the organiser says it is!

They set the criteria and you attend if you want or you don't.

When space is a criteria having a limit is only sensible, there are often legal and safety requirements to be met.

You have no right to attend. If it is full its hard luck. End off.

The discussion amongst the experienced organisers as to the balance of, or the existence of, quotas is relevant to them and their decisions during organisation.

I you don't like it, don't go.

Thread has two primary themes in it:

1) people discussing their experiences from organising events, the decisions they made and the outcomes. Valid and informative.

2) people moaning or complaining about what someone else is doing and its not what they want. To them I say you are owed nothing, and if you want something different organise it yourself! Until them you have no call to criticise.

I organised a large social/party at a Venue where numbers and gender balance where not so significant so there where no fixed totals. It looked balanced on paper without intervention, but lots of the single guys did not turn up (as expected).

I have time and respect for anyone who organises something, I know from experience it is not easy; and if it is clear from the beginning what the setup is, you take it as it is or not.

End off.

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