FabSwingers.com forum: Too many verifications?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Someone I chatted to the other day commented that whilst they liked the verifications themselves, the number of them came across as 'promiscuous'. Personally I see verifications as being a lot like references and employment history on a CV, but then also like a CV, you don't want to have so many as to get the person reading bogged down in detail - how many would ladies consider ideal?

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Someone I chatted to the other day commented that whilst they liked the verifications themselves, the number of them came across as 'promiscuous'. Personally I see verifications as being a lot like references and employment history on a CV, but then also like a CV, you don't want to have so many as to get the person reading bogged down in detail - how many would ladies consider ideal?"

Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet. "

There's a lot of judgmentalism in swinging in general though, and sometimes success is achieved through successful negotiating with those who initially wrote you off.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet.

There's a lot of judgmentalism in swinging in general though, and sometimes success is achieved through successful negotiating with those who initially wrote you off."

At my age I don't negotiate. I am what I am. People can take it or leave it.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I couldn't care less how many veris someone has. Anyone who thinks that someone on a swinging site has too many (even though a lot could be social and accrued over a period of years) is a bit odd IMHO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Far too many judgemental people on Fab and that's why I've hidden mine. And the fact I'm not meeting right now.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet.

There's a lot of judgmentalism in swinging in general though, and sometimes success is achieved through successful negotiating with those who initially wrote you off.

At my age I don't negotiate. I am what I am. People can take it or leave it. "

This!!! I am who I am and no negotiating will be done. I ain't that desperate that I need to change for a shag!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Ours are visible, as they are on our solo profiles. The only reason we wouldn't show one is if it's deemed too graphic for our liking.

Apart from that - if anyone doesn't like what they see - we wouldn't expect them to get in touch, or reply to a message from us!

As with everything in 'Fabland' - it's personal choice and preference!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet.

There's a lot of judgmentalism in swinging in general though, and sometimes success is achieved through successful negotiating with those who initially wrote you off.

At my age I don't negotiate. I am what I am. People can take it or leave it.

This!!! I am who I am and no negotiating will be done. I ain't that desperate that I need to change for a shag! "

I'm not saying for one moment that I'd ever sell myself short and go for less than what I really wanted on here, but single males don't get as many liberties as single women.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I should have specified in my opening post that I am actually referring to MY verifications, rather than verifications in general.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Anyone who used a judgemental term such as promiscuous to me would be blocked and deleted. They are not the kind of people I want to meet.

There's a lot of judgmentalism in swinging in general though, and sometimes success is achieved through successful negotiating with those who initially wrote you off.

At my age I don't negotiate. I am what I am. People can take it or leave it.

This!!! I am who I am and no negotiating will be done. I ain't that desperate that I need to change for a shag!

I'm not saying for one moment that I'd ever sell myself short and go for less than what I really wanted on here, but single males don't get as many liberties as single women."

The good ones do - the same as the good single females and couples! Assuming you mean by liberties the ability not to have to drop your standards to get meets?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I should have specified in my opening post that I am actually referring to MY verifications, rather than verifications in general."

Ah! Can't help there!

Exits thread!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I should have specified in my opening post that I am actually referring to MY verifications, rather than verifications in general."

Really? They thought 15 in the space of nearby 2.5 years was a lot?

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

It is almost a no win situation with verifications on here, especially with men. If you have a low number of them, many will still _iew you with suspicion. If you have a high number of them, some will judge you as "too promiscuous" (what a load of BS) or as having low standards.

Where is the middle ground?

In any case, i display mine, and don't really care what people think in that regard. I have them there as one of many things that i hope help me stand out from the sea of single men. If someone finds it off putting, then i sure as hell don't want to meet them.

Fin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I should have specified in my opening post that I am actually referring to MY verifications, rather than verifications in general."

They moan if someone hasn't got verifications and moan if you have too many!!

To us it wouldn't be a problem.

Far to many people are far to interested in what other people have on their profile!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think people request that their entire profile is read and then a decision is made to take the next step to contact or not...

using the profile wording, interests identified, pics or no pics and verifications.

I see nothing wrong with making a judgement from any of them...

Better they think not for me and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I should have specified in my opening post that I am actually referring to MY verifications, rather than verifications in general.

Really? They thought 15 in the space of nearby 2.5 years was a lot? "

According to my verification summary I've actually had 25, though obviously you lose them when people you've met leave the site.

"It is almost a no win situation with verifications on here, especially with men. If you have a low number of them, many will still _iew you with suspicion. If you have a high number of them, some will judge you as "too promiscuous" (what a load of BS) or as having low standards.

Where is the middle ground?

Its the same with most things in life though isn't it? You ideally want to juggle your balls (nice choice of words) as best possible in order to please the largest number of people and afford yourself the greatest number of opportunities to meet the ones you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people are judgemental sometimes though i agree. i dont show all of mine because i have regreted meeting a few.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

They may have been using it as an easy way of saying no thanks

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Where is the middle ground?

Fin."

I like to see a number of verifications on a guys profile. It suggests they meet regularly and may have the experience I am looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TBH we r a bit put off when someone has lots of veris espically if they r very close together and not from a party or group meet. It wouldn't b an out and out no but it we do factor it in when makin a choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amount of veri's don't bother me, people have sex all the time with people not from the site and there's no summery of that so it's not an accurate read on how sexually active the person is

What the veri's says on the other hand, has put me off sending a few messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm torn on the whole verification thing now, I choose not to show the but I do show my verification summary.

I've been here over three years and have around 23 veris (means I meet less the one person a month). I also have a number from the sane people & a number from the same evening in a club (purely social) so it paints a very squewed _iew of my FAB Life.

I like to have them as a walk down memory lane, nothing more. I've had the "you're a slag for having so many" and the "you must be a fake ad you aren't showing them" messages....I just ignore now.

So back to my original point, whilst in principle I like the verification system, it seems to be used as a hindrance as much ad a help on here as if late.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Did they not read that some of yours where only social meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like promiscuity, the more you have been with the more attractive i find you..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like to see a number of verifications on a guys profile. It suggests they meet regularly and may have the experience I am looking for. "

And that's ideally what I'd be hoping to put across, but I suppose its ultimately a matter of personal opinion.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Seem some with a list of veris....

Met for a drink..

Met for a quick chat..

Met at party..

Met at social..

I just end up thinking....DO these people actually play?

We only play when at our local club so other peoples veris mean nothing to me now....

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

Promiscuity on a swingers site,come on!.

next thing you know,people will be meeting with the sole intention of shagging,and all out debauchery,it's quite disgusting.

Mark my words,

It's a slippery slope.

Ps to anyone who's sole intention is to meet,for shagging,and all out debauchery,Please pm me,cause I've got a pure stiffy.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I'm not saying for one moment that I'd ever sell myself short and go for less than what I really wanted on here, but single males don't get as many liberties as single women."

see... that is what you think, but I would disagree....

there is no negotiation in that respect... i show the ones I want to show, take me as i am because I am not changing just to get a leg over.....

If you want to get to know me... hello

if you dont... move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They may have been using it as an easy way of saying no thanks"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm socially promiscuous as I have lots of social meet verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually can everyone look at me too..cos it would save me startimg a thread!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I like to see a number of verifications on a guys profile. It suggests they meet regularly and may have the experience I am looking for.

And that's ideally what I'd be hoping to put across, but I suppose its ultimately a matter of personal opinion."

I've just looked at yours. If they are saying you've had too many would they prefer to see only two meets a year? It doesn't look like you've managed to work your way through the site yet.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Actually can everyone look at me too..cos it would save me startimg a thread!

I looked, what now? Actually, where have you buried your verifications?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually can everyone look at me too..cos it would save me startimg a thread!

I looked, what now? Actually, where have you buried your verifications?

Muhaha!

Tis a secret!

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I'm socially promiscuous as I have lots of social meet verifications.

"Fancy a social?"

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Actually can everyone look at me too..cos it would save me startimg a thread!

Just looked Ben!

Still loving the profile!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I'm socially promiscuous as I have lots of social meet verifications.

"Fancy a social?"

How can I resist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually can everyone look at me too..cos it would save me startimg a thread!

Just looked Ben!

Still loving the profile!

To steal your phrase...

Ta muchly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see anything wrong with your veri's, but having said that I would meet someone with none and someone with hundreds of the things! Someone who meets regularly though does appeal to me as to me it means they are less likely to get clingy if they have others to meet too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They may have been using it as an easy way of saying no thanks

Maybe - but probably not given we continued chatting for some time.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I like to see a number of verifications on a guys profile. It suggests they meet regularly and may have the experience I am looking for.

And that's ideally what I'd be hoping to put across, but I suppose its ultimately a matter of personal opinion."

Yup - which is why I show mine. If it puts anyone off then they are unlikely to be the type of person I would click with. My profile can put people off too - again deliberate in a way. And my filters do the rest. That way I am more likely to be messaged by people I will click with - though it is by no means a guarantee - nothing is. It's suited me to use this site like this for 2 years and I see no reason to change. What other people think/say about my profile won't alter one bit how I choose to present myself and how I choose to meet.

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