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question about reporting a stalker ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it !

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Report it... Not worth taking the risk not to. They will advise next steps depending what he/she has been doing.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Report it... Not worth taking the risk not to. They will advise next steps depending what he/she has been doing.

Good luck"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a friend who had one and they just don't know when to stop in the end she actually assaulted him and he was in intensive care after being run over. Report asap its the only thing you can do and let them inter_iew them and let them know it has to stop and now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Report it... Not worth taking the risk not to. They will advise next steps depending what he/she has been doing.

Good luck

This "

Agree. If you're concerned then you should report it.

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

If they are scaring you report them. They changed the stalking laws a couple of years back (I think) so apparently they are taking it a lot more seriously now.

A friend of mine had a stalker a year or so ago. He used to sit outside her house in his car and started phoning her work telling them all sorts of horrible stories about her. He basically made her life hell. she eventually went to the police and they went and had a very strong word with him. Just them turning up on his doorstep did enough to him to make him stop.

If you are really worried all you need to do is phone the police for a chat and see what they advise. Talking to them doesn't mean you need to make a formal complaint, but at least they can let you know whee you stand whatever your personal circumstances are and what exactly he has been doing to you.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the previous oysters have said. Also, make sure you ask them what evidence you need to keep / record, moving forward, in case it escalates or continues and the matter needs to be taken further.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Take off and nuke the site from orbit...it's the only way to be sure

Seriously tho' what ^^^^them lot said. Good luck

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By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

Oh and one more thing - Professor jsut reminded me - is you have any records of things s/he has done like texts or emails or anything like that, try and gather them up and save everything. Keep a record of everything s/he (sorry I referred to your stalker as a he earlier - it was a snap assumption) says/does with date times etc. This was one thing my friend was advised to do by the police. She even took pics of hm lurking outside her house and work and made sure the pics were timestamped.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"As the previous oysters have said. Also, make sure you ask them what evidence you need to keep / record, moving forward, in case it escalates or continues and the matter needs to be taken further."

Bloody clever oysters...I've had a word with the green lipped mussels and they agree too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have evidence of being stalked the police can issue the person with a harassment warning. If the person continues they can then be arrested. It's best to keep a record of incidents. If you want any more advice pm me I have been through this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to report everything that happens to the police, the record every incident and can build a case upon the reports. This shows up the pattern of their behaviour and is helpful if it gets totally out of hand.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

i had a problem with a guy i was dating last year after i dumped him he kept ringing my house phone ,texting me and just turning up at the house ,he came round one day and i was terrified alone in my house ,he left me a note to say he was going to the police when he got home to say a phone he had bought me which i sold

i had stolen from him so i called the police it was them that told me this was harassment and so they sent south yorks cops out to him and as he denied all they served him with and harassment order ,which he refused to sign but its has been recorded by the police ,so go to them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ThAnks everyone for your help .... Just don't wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill !!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"ThAnks everyone for your help .... Just don't wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill !! "

You aren't making a mountain out of a molehill, if you are concerned the police need to know, that is what they are there for. I hope things turn out well,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Report, I had one that made my life hell. He soon stopped once the police were involved. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Truth is he has things on me that I don't want to be made public !! And he knows that ! And that's what he is threatening me with !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Truth is he has things on me that I don't want to be made public !! And he knows that ! And that's what he is threatening me with !!!! "

Blackmail that is get the cops in and quick.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Truth is he has things on me that I don't want to be made public !! And he knows that ! And that's what he is threatening me with !!!! "

Blackmail. The police look very dimly on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Harassment/Stalking and blackmail the police will definitely want to have a chat with him.

Unless you confirm to people what he might tell them it can all be explained away by his being a nutcase stalker whom the police have been in contact with to prevent him hassling, if it is people that are close to you, who are they going to believe?

My ex outed me to a lot of people who I wouldn't have told, I just told everyone else that I care about, they couldn't care less and now it's all water under the bridge and life goes on. If they care about you nothing he says to them will effect their feeling about you. Don't let him have that imagined power over you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Harassment/Stalking and blackmail the police will definitely want to have a chat with him.

Unless you confirm to people what he might tell them it can all be explained away by his being a nutcase stalker whom the police have been in contact with to prevent him hassling, if it is people that are close to you, who are they going to believe?

My ex outed me to a lot of people who I wouldn't have told, I just told everyone else that I care about, they couldn't care less and now it's all water under the bridge and life goes on. If they care about you nothing he says to them will effect their feeling about you. Don't let him have that imagined power over you. "

Thanks hun xx

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

[Removed by poster at 24/08/13 00:00:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have a friend who had one and they just don't know when to stop in the end she actually assaulted him and he was in intensive care after being run over. Report asap its the only thing you can do and let them inter_iew them and let them know it has to stop and now. "

Car is an effective self defence weapon ...lol

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

what ever he has may be embarassing for him too.. get the police in to let him know your onto him..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have a friend who had one and they just don't know when to stop in the end she actually assaulted him and he was in intensive care after being run over. Report asap its the only thing you can do and let them inter_iew them and let them know it has to stop and now.

Car is an effective self defence weapon ...lol"

I think it was the stalker that did the running over...

Using a vehicle as a weapon is not recommended unless you want to be charged with attempted murder or worse. If you can drive, you can drive away so there goes the self defence claim in most cases.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

My stalking days are over for this year

It all started when I fell for Ryan and changed ma username to superryanfan then superstalkerfan

Can't even have supersantafan as I've used up all ma name changes

Seriously though, it can't be pleasant so you have my sympathy xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My stalking days are over for this year

It all started when I fell for Ryan and changed ma username to superryanfan then superstalkerfan

Can't even have supersantafan as I've used up all ma name changes

Seriously though, it can't be pleasant so you have my sympathy xx "

Thanks .... And I also feel your pain !!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"If they are scaring you report them. They changed the stalking laws a couple of years back (I think) so apparently they are taking it a lot more seriously now.

A friend of mine had a stalker a year or so ago. He used to sit outside her house in his car and started phoning her work telling them all sorts of horrible stories about her. He basically made her life hell. she eventually went to the police and they went and had a very strong word with him. Just them turning up on his doorstep did enough to him to make him stop.

If you are really worried all you need to do is phone the police for a chat and see what they advise. Talking to them doesn't mean you need to make a formal complaint, but at least they can let you know whee you stand whatever your personal circumstances are and what exactly he has been doing to you.

Good luck."
I agree, a lot of the time a quick stern word is all that's needed. When people start to invade your privacy you really need to do something about it. He probably thinks you won't go to the police, too many people suffer in silence,be strong and make a stand. Good luck OP xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont reply or if you do just say go away and stop. If you get emotional in your responses then it can be seen as encouragement. You need to show them its all him/her

Also be prepared for the police to take your phone as evidence

Good luck

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

An ex of one of our children threatened to tell us what they were "really like". Both of us said bring it on there's nothing they could have done that we didn't or possibly still do. It removed the power and although the stalking didn't stop straight away it helped our kid cope to know that one potential threat was removed. Could you call his or her bluff in this way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it ! "

depends what you mean by stalking

I had the police out about my daughters ex who wouldn't leave her alone

he used to sit outside my house in his car for hours, I was told by the police he wasn't doing anything wrong, there are no laws to stop people sitting on a public highway, so long as he didn't come onto my garden he was breaking no laws and they had no power to move him

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it !

depends what you mean by stalking

I had the police out about my daughters ex who wouldn't leave her alone

he used to sit outside my house in his car for hours, I was told by the police he wasn't doing anything wrong, there are no laws to stop people sitting on a public highway, so long as he didn't come onto my garden he was breaking no laws and they had no power to move him "

yes that is the problem. We have had a similar situation several times unfortunately, it seems to be a modern phenomenon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"An ex of one of our children threatened to tell us what they were "really like". Both of us said bring it on there's nothing they could have done that we didn't or possibly still do. It removed the power and although the stalking didn't stop straight away it helped our kid cope to know that one potential threat was removed. Could you call his or her bluff in this way?"

I don't think he will carry out his threats ! He sends texts the next morning apologising for the things he has said .... And I'm just ignoring him ... He is trying to make me talk ! Thinks if he threatens me I will respond !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it !

depends what you mean by stalking

I had the police out about my daughters ex who wouldn't leave her alone

he used to sit outside my house in his car for hours, I was told by the police he wasn't doing anything wrong, there are no laws to stop people sitting on a public highway, so long as he didn't come onto my garden he was breaking no laws and they had no power to move him

yes that is the problem. We have had a similar situation several times unfortunately, it seems to be a modern phenomenon. "

He used to follow her about, if she went into a pub with mates he would go and sit on the next table, the police told her it was upto her to leave the pub if she didn't like being in the same place as him, because again he wasn't breaking any laws by being in the same pub as her, so he could follow her about all day, sit outside our house, so long as he didn't touch her or come only my garden he was breaking now laws, the one and only time they stepped in was when he started sitting outside her place of work, she worked in a nursery at the time, and that was only because children was involved it wasn't to protect her

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"An ex of one of our children threatened to tell us what they were "really like". Both of us said bring it on there's nothing they could have done that we didn't or possibly still do. It removed the power and although the stalking didn't stop straight away it helped our kid cope to know that one potential threat was removed. Could you call his or her bluff in this way?

I don't think he will carry out his threats ! He sends texts the next morning apologising for the things he has said .... And I'm just ignoring him ... He is trying to make me talk ! Thinks if he threatens me I will respond ! "

Good. I hope it stops soon we've watched one of our kids go through this three times now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it !

depends what you mean by stalking

I had the police out about my daughters ex who wouldn't leave her alone

he used to sit outside my house in his car for hours, I was told by the police he wasn't doing anything wrong, there are no laws to stop people sitting on a public highway, so long as he didn't come onto my garden he was breaking no laws and they had no power to move him "

Commenting on my movements , jealous rage if he sees my car gone .... All text email and phones over and over ..... His blocked so I don't get them ! Just a log telling me how many times he has called !! And I can look at the emails text too ! Hard not to look ... He has also sent me a suicide not !! But that was just a threat to get my attention ! Unfortunately it did the first time because I was worried ! But now know he won't actually do it !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi all wondered if anyone can tell me .. If you have a stalker and you report it to the police ... What exactly do they do ? ... I have one (not from this site I must add) but I don't want to make a huge thing of it ! So I'm worried about reporting it to the police ! But its getting out of hand now ! And I need to do something about it !

depends what you mean by stalking

I had the police out about my daughters ex who wouldn't leave her alone

he used to sit outside my house in his car for hours, I was told by the police he wasn't doing anything wrong, there are no laws to stop people sitting on a public highway, so long as he didn't come onto my garden he was breaking no laws and they had no power to move him

Commenting on my movements , jealous rage if he sees my car gone .... All text email and phones over and over ..... His blocked so I don't get them ! Just a log telling me how many times he has called !! And I can look at the emails text too ! Hard not to look ... He has also sent me a suicide not !! But that was just a threat to get my attention ! Unfortunately it did the first time because I was worried ! But now know he won't actually do it ! "

Its emotionally draining isn't it. He clearly needs help to move on and a visit from the boys in blue might give him the incentive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"An ex of one of our children threatened to tell us what they were "really like". Both of us said bring it on there's nothing they could have done that we didn't or possibly still do. It removed the power and although the stalking didn't stop straight away it helped our kid cope to know that one potential threat was removed. Could you call his or her bluff in this way?

I don't think he will carry out his threats ! He sends texts the next morning apologising for the things he has said .... And I'm just ignoring him ... He is trying to make me talk ! Thinks if he threatens me I will respond !

Good. I hope it stops soon we've watched one of our kids go through this three times now."

Thanks ... Feel a bit better about it now ! Just talking getting it off your chest helps xx thanks everyone its nice to know I'm not alone x its one of those things that until it happens to you, you never really understand how horrible it is !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are stalkers a new badge of honour? Every cool kid's got one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a criminal offence to pursue a course of conduct which amounts to harassment of another person, which that person knows, or ought to know, amounts to harassment. This can include alarming a person or causing them distress. There must be two separate occasions where it is said someone has carried out conduct which amounts to harassment.

When a single act alone is alleged to have occurred the police can issue a ‘harassment warning’. They will visit the individual and issue this warning to them. The warning is designed to make it known to the individual that their act has caused harassment and is to try and deter the individual from carrying out a further act. If a further act is alleged the police can go on to arrest and charge for the offence of harassment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It is a criminal offence to pursue a course of conduct which amounts to harassment of another person, which that person knows, or ought to know, amounts to harassment. This can include alarming a person or causing them distress. There must be two separate occasions where it is said someone has carried out conduct which amounts to harassment.

When a single act alone is alleged to have occurred the police can issue a ‘harassment warning’. They will visit the individual and issue this warning to them. The warning is designed to make it known to the individual that their act has caused harassment and is to try and deter the individual from carrying out a further act. If a further act is alleged the police can go on to arrest and charge for the offence of harassment."

Thanks x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Are stalkers a new badge of honour? Every cool kid's got one."

anyone who's experienced stalking wouldn't think it was either a badge of honour or cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are stalkers a new badge of honour? Every cool kid's got one.

anyone who's experienced stalking wouldn't think it was either a badge of honour or cool. "

It was a joke. Jeez, lighten up.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

hope you get it sorted ok as i put earlier i know how scary it can be .contact the police to see what the have to say as i said it as them that told me i was getting harassed ,and i forgot to put in last post they said once he had be given the order he would be arrested if it continued .good luck gal xxx

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